I don’t think Jess fully understands how much Raven truly despises me. For some unknown reason, she has chosen me as the target of all her wrath and cruelty since the day I stepped foot in this city. Adding fuel to the fire is surely not a good idea without Jess being around to throw water on the flames. There will be nothing to stop Raven once she’s gone. Raven Unbound is something I don’t want to see.
Maybe I should turn down the money…I dunno. A part of me does feel entitled to some of this fortune. After all, Raven shouldn’t get everything, right?
That’s the dilemma I’m faced with right now. Typhoon Raven vs. Tycoon Raven. The second of those options makes me insanely angry.
I can’t let her win. The inheritance and the prestige that comes with it is something Raven has probably craved for years. Having the power to take part of that away is the biggest weapon I have in my arsenal right now. I can’t compete with her in any other way, not even in singing…
That burns me up. I hate, hate, hate that she can sing better than me. She can have Gio, though. I hope he cheats on her publicly again, multiple times.
That’s mean…I regret that. But still, the bitch deserves some karma, and I’m about to dish it out one way or another.
Ttyl,
Mads
A soft breeze sweeps across my cheeks as I loop my arms around Logan’s firm core. He hooks his hand around my side, pulls me in tightly, and brushes a soft kiss against the top of my head. Hundreds of buildings lie before us—some dulled with age, some sparkling with life and vibrance—and the smog that continually hangs over the city seems brushed over it, like a fine gradient.
Hiking the Runyon Canyon Trail with Logan was the most fun I’ve had in a while. Most people can’t keep up with me on a hike, but Logan darted in front of me, challenging me to keep up. He is beyond fit in spite of his food addiction. I caught my eyes wandering to the outline of his butt more than once when he was climbing in front of me. He is just so perfect. Honestly, sometimes I worry he might be too good to be true. With all the bad luck that has hung over my head in life so far, it’s hard to trust that the universe would give me something this good.
Now, standing at the top of this mountain, I know without a doubt I never want to leave these arms. Peace flooded me as soon as I felt his arm go around my waist. A warm sensation like hot cider being poured into my chest seeped into my every vein and calmed my nerves. The weight is off my shoulders. I can breathe again. He is my happy place.
“I never want to let you go,” Logan whispers against my hair, mirroring my thoughts.
“You never have to,” I reply. Pulling back, I stand on my tiptoes to kiss his warm, plump lips. Logan’s arms encircle me and bring me into the shelter of his frame. I lean against him as he presses his lips hard against mine, seemingly unable to get enough of me. Our tongues find each other and tangle with abandon. Any shred of control or hesitation either of us had in the past is quickly evaporating. He’s all mine, I’m all his, and there’s no reason to deny ourselves each other anymore.
Logan’s breathing is heavy when he pulls back. His eyes are hooded with desire, but there’s concern weighing on them too. “Are you okay?”
I already told him about everything that happened with Jess. He had to sit on the other end of the phone for an hour while I cried and told him everything I felt about the situation. He listened intently and told me he was sorry I was going through this.
“I am now.” I smile and comb my fingers through his thick hair. “Being with you always makes things okay.”
The sweetest smile takes over his face as he leans in for another kiss. Caressing my lips with his, he takes my breath away and sends my heart soaring over the clouds. When he pulls away, he lets his forehead rest against mine.
“You know I’m certifiable over you, right?”
I grin. “I had an inkling.”
“Whenever you need to talk, I’m here.” He pulls back to look me squarely in the eyes. “I want to be the person you come to with things.”
“You are.” I kiss him again without lingering. Sighing, I press my face into his chest. “I’m coming to terms with everything, though I still don’t know what to do.”
“You mean about the inheritance?”
I nod against him.
He grunts out a sigh and strokes the back of my head with his palm. “That’s something only you can decide, sweetheart, but whatever you choose, I’ll support you.”
I melt at his first in-person use of the word “sweetheart.” Tipping my head up to look at his face, I smile and whisper, “I love it when you call me that, by the way.”
“It fits you.”
After another tender kiss, I tell him, “You fit me. Seriously, it feels like our bodies were made to go together.”
“I’m glad I’m not the only one thinking that.” A flame enters the depths of his green eyes, one I haven’t noticed there before. I can see sinful thoughts brewing behind that kind exterior. He wants me—bad.
My neck warms under my neon pink sports bra. I covered it with a thin, breezy tank top, but somehow I still feel naked under his gaze. “Stop looking at me like that.”
A smirk pulls the corner of his lip up. “Like what?”
“Like you want to undress me with your eyes.”
He brushes stray hairs from my face, leans down by my ear, and whispers, “Madison Daley, I’m going to be the first to undress you…and the last.”
A pleasant shudder starts in the crook of my neck and vibrates me all the way to my toes. As I wrap my arms around his neck, my lips find his like two magnets. I end up in his arms with my legs hooked around his hips.
“We need to go back to the car,” Logan whispers when things start to get heated. In my giddy state, I jump down from him and take off running down the mountain in a beeline toward the car. Logan laughs at me and follows closely behind, his heels pounding the loose dirt. I beat him to the car a mere second ahead, and when I turn around, he slams into me and attacks me with another kiss.
“Get inside,” he rasps.
“I will if you get off me,” I quip.
He backs away from me, opens the door, and helps me over the gear shift to the passenger seat. Once we’re settled, we realize how hot we’ve gotten running down the mountain.
“Do you mind if I take my shirt off?” I ask foolishly.
That naughty smile I’m growing to love appears again. “Go for it.”
After whipping my shirt up and over my head, I fan myself and look into the passenger mirror. The hair near my face is dampened with sweat and clinging to my skin. My makeup is getting blotchy in places. I bring the shirt up to dab at my face, but Logan catches my arm and pulls it down to my lap.
“Stop, Madison. You look incredible.”
Something within me responds to the use of my real name, and I look him in the eyes, only to find the flame has fanned into a full-blown fire. His head lowers and he swoops in for a kiss, catching me off guard. I melt into goo as he gingerly touches my sides, nonverbally asking for permission.
As my heart hammers in my chest, I whisper, “You can touch me.”
Logan’s hands wander my belly and back, then slide under the hem of my yoga pants. Feeling his hands on my butt is new and weird, so I giggle into his lips. Then things get serious again when he slides one hand around to the other side and moves down…down…
I gasp. “Logan, what are you doing?”
“You don’t owe me anything for this.” He pants, out of breath, holding my gaze with intensity. “May I?”
Speechless, I nod, and my body responds with another shudder when his finger trails down to a place I’ve never been touched by anyone before.
I grip his neck and shoulders for dear life, moan, and throw my head back against the firm car seat. As a reflex, my hand moves down to push him away, but I force it back. His touch is better than anything I’ve felt in my entire life.
Logan buries his face in my neck. “You’re so beautiful and p
erfect,” he whispers amidst sucking my neck. “Are you mine?”
“Yes,” I hiss. “All yours.”
Finding his rhythm quickly, Logan takes me higher than ever before. It doesn’t take him long at all to achieve his goal. I’m in a cloud of intoxication when I finally come back down to earth. My breath comes in gasps.
“I’m yours, sweetheart,” he whispers against me. “You’re always going to be my queen. Your wish is my command.”
“Can you do that again?”
Logan laughs. “Come here, you.” He moves his seat back as far as it will go, lets me climb in his lap, and lovingly takes me to heaven again.
After band practice that afternoon, Logan takes me home with him. The modest apartment filled with bachelor-esque furniture and gaming posters is starting to feel like a second home. I place my guitar by the couch I’m growing to love and relax in front of the TV while Logan cooks dinner. Breathing in the smells of his extraordinary cooking while watching sitcoms and lying still like a sleepy cat is my definition of paradise.
Our meal of steak kabobs is juicy and somehow smoky even though it was prepared on a George Foreman grill. The smell of seared meat lingers in the room until Logan rolls a blunt and smokes up the place. I’m finding I’m content just to breathe in the second-hand smoke and feel slightly lifted rather than smoking one myself. For some reason, even though I’ve broken all my other promises, doing drugs is the one thing that paralyzes me with guilt. I keep seeing Dad’s hurt face every time I look at it.
Logan tucks me into his side as we move into season seven of How I Met Your Mother. All throughout the evening, he’s quiet and chill except for whispering all the things he likes about me into my ear. I let peace and happiness flood me, forgetting everything else for one night.
Once midnight comes, Logan is about to drop off, so I turn the TV off and help him into bed. Before he has a chance to grab me and pull me into bed, I change into a tank top and shorts. Then I snuggle into him and kiss him until he falls asleep, snoring, in my arms. This time, it’s not the soft purr I’ve heard before. He is full-on snoring. Having me all to himself must have loosened him up. I chuckle at the sound and turn so my back is nestled into him and his arm is resting limply over my waist.
A couple hours later, I’m still awake. My insomnia has me wired, as usual. I want to write or play games on my phone, but Logan’s sleeping so peacefully beside me I don’t want to risk waking him up. Noise surrounds me—Logan’s snores, cars outside the window, the hum of electricity running through the walls—yet the silence inside of me is deafening.
The Redinger insomnia is what’s keeping me awake, yet the person who gave it to me is going to be gone soon.
I wish I could stop crying over Jess. I wish my heart would stop breaking over someone who turned my life upside down in every possible way. My wishes don’t seem to matter to whomever is running this world. Jess’s death is inevitable. I just began to care about her as a person, and pretty soon I’ll have to mourn her as if she hasn’t caused me enough pain thus far in my life.
Before I know it, my pillow is wet, and I’m sobbing audibly—not loud, but loud enough to be heard. Logan stirs next to me and pauses as if assessing the situation. Strong arms snake around me to press me tightly against his chest. He kisses the tender skin behind my ear and holds me until I calm down. When my sobs subside, he brushes my tears away and asks if there’s anything he can do.
“Just hold me until it doesn’t hurt anymore,” I whisper pathetically.
“Will do.” He kisses down my neck and snuggles into me, flicking his thumb up and down the skin of my exposed upper arm. I hug his arms and kiss just below the head of his dragon.
“Are you sure you want this?” Vulnerability burns in my chest. I know I’m a lot of pain and trouble in one small package. Being with me is not going to be easy for him, especially now with Jess’s illness and Raven’s determination to destroy me.
Logan presses his lips against the nape of my neck. He whispers without hesitation, “More than I’ve ever wanted anything, and that’s saying a lot.”
I turn around in his arms and a smile plays at my lips as he leans in to kiss me.
“Can I call you my boyfriend if anyone asks?” I whisper softly against his lips.
Chuckling, he replies, “You’d better.”
December 13
Holiday in Heaven
Last night, I spent the night with Logan and we finally made our relationship official. I’ve spent the morning in a blissful fog, trying to convince myself it really did happen. I would have spent more time with him this morning, but Dad wanted me to come home so he could spend some time with me on my break. I have to go downstairs soon, but while I’m up here “changing clothes” I thought I’d document this new milestone.
Logan gave me another milestone yesterday…the first time I’ve ever done anything sexual with a guy. I would talk about it here, but somehow it feels too personal even for my diary. We didn’t go all the way, but…well, let’s just say he made me feel good. Someday I’ll return the favor. When I tried yesterday, he wouldn’t let me. I think he was doing it to make me feel better.
And because I took my shirt off in front of him…
I may have to do that more often.
Ttyl,
Mads
The next twelve days are filled with Christmas shopping excursions, catching up on video games, and a handful of nights spent at Logan’s apartment. Ana joins me two days before Christmas for a last-minute shopping spree. The stores in Los Angeles are packed to the brim with people looking for that perfect gift—or replacement gift—for their special someone. Ana and I are no different. Our goal is to find gifts for Logan and Jerica that are worthy of the love we feel for them. Unfortunately for Ana, her task is a little more challenging than mine.
“What do you get one of the top five richest women in the world for Christmas?” Ana laments as we approach a perfume stand in an upscale department store.
“In the world?”
“Yeah. An article came out a few days ago listing the top ten richest women in the world. She was number five on the list.”
“Wow, Ana! Congrats!”
“Thanks.” Ana beams in my direction. Life with Jerica has been a breath of fresh air for her. The new freedom she has to do and be whatever she wants has been better than medicine. Her true, bubbly personality is coming out now, bigger than ever before. It’s a relief to see that smile of hers that can light up a room again.
“Well, you could always get her a new bottle of perfume,” I suggest, glancing down at the cabinet where the boxes of perfume are stored.
Ana clicks her tongue in protest. “Nah, that’s too simple. Too cliché.”
“Well, what about clothes, then?”
“She has thousands of new outfits for the winter season already. You’ve seen our closet.”
I grin, remembering a few days ago when Ana let me camp out with her in Jerica’s mansion for a little while. They share a closet now, and it might as well be a floor full of racks in a clothing store. You could shop the latest trends from right there inside their house.
“Good point. Maybe jewelry? That’s always romantic.”
Ana’s face lights up. “Yeah, I like that idea. I can get something engraved for her so it will be unique.”
“Perfect!”
While we’re at the department store, I pick up a new leather jacket and some other small items for Logan. After checking out, Ana and I head down the street toward a jewelry store. We walk arm-in-arm, discussing Ana’s feelings about Jerica making their relationship public a couple of weeks ago.
“Things have been a little crazy for me lately,” Ana admits. “Jerica told people I was an aspiring model, so I’ve had several offers for photoshoots since then. However, since I don’t have parental permission, I can’t sign anything until I’m eighteen.”
“Which is just a few days away,” I remind her with excitement.
“Exactl
y. So now I have to make some decisions…” Ana takes in a deep breath and sighs. “I love having options, but it’s hard to know exactly what choices you should make, you know?”
I mock frown at her. “Poor little rich girl. You’ve got too many opportunities. Whatever will you do?”
Giggling, Ana shoves me toward the building on my right. “Shut up.”
“You shut up.” I shove her back. We fall into a childish shoving fight that ends with us both laughing and hugging each other.
Ana pulls me snugly into her chest. “I’m so glad we’re together again.” She brushes a kiss against my cheek. “I need all the Mads time I can get before you leave me to tour the world.”
“Who knows? Maybe we’ll run into each other in Prague.” We giggle against each other.
“Right?” Ana pulls back, and I notice the tears building in her pretty green eyes. “Everything I have is all because of you. I can never thank you enough.”
“It’s the least I can do for the best BFF ever.” I squeeze her arm, bringing another smile out of her. Our hands connect between us, and we continue down the way, remembering how we used to hold hands walking everywhere back in Kentucky when we were kids. We even wore our charm bracelets on opposite arms when we were younger just so they would jingle against each other.
When Ana pushes the door of the jewelry store open, the jingle bells chime, and we glance at each other and giggle before releasing each other’s hand to enter the doorway.
Instead of going to Kentucky for Christmas, Dad, Cass, and I decide to invite our L.A. family over for a big celebration. Bright and early in the morning, Logan, Dalton, Devon, Ana, and Jerica all bring their gifts over to our house and put them under our two-story Christmas tree in the entryway. While Logan helps Dad and Cass with breakfast, I hang out with the girls in the living room. Dalton plays a soft melody on our acoustic guitar in the music room that carries through the house, creating a light, peaceful atmosphere.
D.O.R.K. Series Box Set: Diary of a Rocker's Kid, The Sister Code, Twin Wars Page 51