Ana leans on Jerica’s chest, tangled up in her arms. Jerica presses a kiss to the top of her golden blonde head and whispers something to her that makes her smile. Devon and I glance at each other across the open space between our living room chair and couch.
“Wanna cuddle?” she teases me with a mischievous grin.
I giggle. “No, thanks. I think I’ll save that for your cousin.”
Her smile softens, making her dark eyes glow. “He told me you guys are officially an item now. Congrats.”
“Thanks…” I melt against the couch, smiling at nothing.
“I’m really happy for you both. Logan’s always been like a second brother to me. If you married him, you’d be like the sister I never had.”
My heart lurches at the word “marry.” I won’t pretend I’ve never thought about that…
In my daydreams, he wears a black tux with a green vest and tie and I wear a purple wedding dress with a black lace train. Our processional song is the rock version of “Canon in D” and we write our own vows. The reception is held onstage at the Hollywood Bowl or some other outdoor venue. We kiss under the spotlight during our first dance as husband and wife, and he sings me “When a Man Loves a Woman” while I dance with my dad.
My obsession with my boyfriend might be getting slightly out of hand. However, I have a feeling he won’t mind once I tell him about it…in about five years.
Instead of telling her all about my secret fantasies, I say, “You’d be like the sister I wish I had.”
Devon chuckles. “Just know you’d better not break his heart or I’ll break your face.”
“Noted. I would never do anything to hurt him, though.”
“I know you wouldn’t.” She gives me a smile full of confidence.
After a delicious breakfast feast, everyone gathers around the living room to exchange gifts. Once Logan has brought all gifts with our names on them over to me, he sits down and snuggles into me while we unwrap them. I insist on him opening my gift first. When he opens it, he exclaims over every item in the box, grinning from ear to ear.
“You’re never going to believe this, but I shopped in the same store for you, and while I was there I looked at every one of these items and thought about buying them. I told myself I’d come back and get them after Christmas, but you somehow crawled into my mind and got all the things I wanted.”
My chest swells with pride.
Who knows her boyfriend?
“Thank you, sweets.” Logan leans down and presses a kiss to my lips, then hands me a small box with sparkly silver wrapping. “I hope you like what I got you.”
I open the box carefully to save the wrapping. When I pull it away and see what he got me, I double over with laughter. It’s the scent I was lusting after when Ana and I went over to the perfume counter at the store.
“Babe, I think we might be a little too much in sync.” I giggle and pull him into another kiss. “I love it…” In my mind, I add and you.
“I love your gifts, too.” He brushes a kiss against my jaw. “The rest of my present to you is coming later.”
“Sounds good.” Pulling back, I notice the heat in his gaze and feel a blush rise up my neck. The perfume was nice, but I have a feeling his next gift is going to be something naughty.
Right as everyone’s wrapping up the gift-giving, Dad and Jerica both stand at the same time and clear their throats.
“I’d like to—” Both of them speak out at the same time, then laugh, trying to defer to the other.
“You go first, Jerica.”
“No, you go first. It’s your house.”
“You’re my guest. You have the floor.” Dad takes his seat on a fold-out chair beside Cass again and drapes his arm around her shoulders. I pick up a slight quiver in his fingers and his forehead is shinier than usual. He seems nervous. What’s going on?
“Well…” Jerica clears her throat again, seemingly just as nervous as he is. “My gift to Ana is something a little more complex than your typical Christmas gift.”
Jerica comes in front of Ana, eases down on one knee, and pulls a black box from the pocket of her sleek black dress pants. Ana’s face goes ashen. The room is so silent other than the sound of Jerica breathing that you could hear a guitar pick drop.
“When I met you, Ana Grace, I immediately felt something kindle inside me that I’d never felt with anyone else. Over the past few months, we’ve talked for what feels like days on end about anything and everything, and I realized what I felt was the universe bonding me with my soulmate. The thought of being without you makes me ill. I can’t breathe when I think about losing you. I want to keep you always and love on you for the rest of your life. Will you do me the greatest honor and marry me?” She opens the box and reveals an elegant, flawless diamond ring.
Ana tries to speak, but words won’t form in her mouth. A croak emerges from her throat instead of words. She glances at me with alarm. I squint at her, unsure of why she’s looking at me instead of Jerica. Then I can practically hear her words in my head—
I can’t talk, but I want to say yes. Help me!
I chuckle and lean forward. “Ana says yes.”
“Is that true?” Jerica searches her eyes for the answer.
Ana’s lips still hang open like a fish out of water, but she manages to nod her head. Cheers fill the room as Jerica slips the ring on her finger. Everyone congratulates the new engaged couple except Dad, who just sits back and laughs into his hand. When the noise has died down, Dad stands up and lets out a weary sigh.
“Well…I’m afraid I unknowingly let Jerica steal my thunder.” He glances down at Cass, whose eyes are growing wide. Dad pulls her to a standing position and brushes her platinum blonde hair back from her face. Then he kisses her forehead and assumes the kneeling position Jerica was just in a minute ago.
“I hope Madison doesn’t mind this too much. I didn’t ask her because I wanted this to be a surprise for everyone.” He glances at me with a question in his eyes.
I can barely speak because my throat has swollen and my eyes are watering up. I manage to squeak out, “It’s fine.”
Dad smiles and looks back up at Cass. Taking a deep breath, he settles himself and launches into his own speech. “I don’t even know where to begin with us, honey. We’ve been such a mess for half our lives. It was mostly my fault. I was an idiot who didn’t know how good I had it when I was around you. You made my world come alive since the moment I met you, and I stupidly let you spend way too many nights in other men’s arms instead of keepin’ you all to myself where you belonged.”
Tears streak down Cass’s cheeks. She squeezes her eyes shut, but they keep coming.
“No matter what happened in-between, you were my first, and I’ll be damned if I’m not your last.”
“You are,” Cass sobs out.
Dad pulls his own black box out. “Please forgive me for all the stupid things I’ve said and done. I wasted twenty years, but I want to spend the next forty in your arms.” He opens the box, and I immediately compare the two rings in my head. His is simpler, almost as if it’s from a different time.
“I bought this ring years ago and planned on givin’ it to you, but I was too chicken to go for it.”
“Oh my God…” Cass breaks down completely into a happy, relieved mess of tears.
“Will you marry me and give me a chance to make up for all the years we’ve lost?”
“Yes.” Cass falls onto the floor in front of him, takes his face in her hands, and kisses him for all he’s worth. Another round of cheers breaks out in the room. Sobbing her eyes out, Cass extends her arm and looks over her shoulder at me. I join them on the floor in a hug.
Dad grips me around the shoulders and whispers in my ear, “Thank you, sweetheart.”
“No, thank you. It’s about time you came to your senses. I was about ready to propose for you,” I reply. Cass hears me and giggles through her tears.
“So, Dad…” I lean forward on the island,
being careful not to crush the Christmas cookies that sit underneath a plate right under my chest. “Since I was such an angel about you proposing to Cass without getting my express permission, is it possible my wonderful boyfriend could stay the night here?” I tangle my fingers with Logan’s. He suppresses a smile from his place in the bar stool beside me. “After all, it’s after dark now, and he’d have to drive all the way across town—”
“Yes, it’s fine.” Dad looks away from Cass’s radiant face long enough to answer my question. “I’ll be up in a little while to tell you good night, Mads. You kids behave.”
Logan watches as I cross my fingers behind my back. The spark enters his eye, but he doesn’t say a word.
Dad sweeps Cass off to their bedroom, which is on the other end of the second floor from my room. After waiting an appropriate amount of time, I lead Logan to my bedroom, being sure to lock the door behind us. Once it’s secure, I let down my guard and fall into Logan’s arms. We’ve been politely stealing little pecks all day long when all we really want to do is feast on each other’s lips. Logan catches me and buries his lips in mine. I return his kiss with passion, making up for lost time.
“So…” Logan pulls away to brush my hair out of my face. “I promised you a second gift.” He grins and pulls a sprig of mistletoe out of his back pocket.
I laugh until my stomach hurts. “Where did you get that?”
“I swiped it from your entryway,” he confesses, clearing his throat. “Anyway, consider this your ticket to get kissed…” He leans in so close to my ear that his lips brush the lobe. “Anywhere you want.”
I feel him grin against my ear as a shudder passes through me. Excitement and fear in equal amounts rock me to my core. I thought I’d be ready by now, but I’m not so sure. How am I going to tell him I can’t go this fast? I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but…
“Logan, I’m waiting to lose my virginity,” I blurt out.
He pulls back to look into my eyes. I was worried he’d be disappointed, but instead he looks worried. His brows are lifted with concern, and his eyes have brightened.
“Did I go too far with this? I didn’t mean we had to do anything—”
“No, no…believe me, it’s not you.” I gulp hard. If only he knew how hard resisting him has turned out to be. “I just want to wait until…the right moment. Until it feels right, you know?”
His face relaxes. Logan slips his fingers underneath my chin and tips it upward. His eyes smile into mine.
“I knew there was something I liked about you,” he whispers, connecting his lips with mine in a brief kiss. I deepen it for only a moment before letting him pull back again. “We can do as much or as little as you want. Hell, we can drink egg nog and watch Netflix for the rest of the night for all I care. I just want to spend the rest of Christmas with my girl.”
Relief floods my chest. I lean into him, letting his warmth fill me and thinking I couldn’t imagine a more perfect ending to that dreaded talk.
December 26
Merry Christmas to Me
Christmas came with a lot of surprises this year. Ana and Jerica got engaged. Dad and Cass got engaged. I found out I’m going to be the maid of honor at two weddings next year.
But honestly, I think I’m the luckiest one of the bunch.
Logan and I had a simple, quiet night watching Christmas movies in bed and eating leftover sweets until our stomachs were distended. He had offered to hold mistletoe over me and kiss me “wherever I wanted,” and it turned out that was only on the lips last night. I told him I wanted to wait to lose my virginity, and he was amazing about it. In a way, I could tell it was killing him to wait, but he tried to disguise it as much as he could. We cuddled long into the night and fell asleep in each other’s arms. It was the perfect Christmas. I can’t even imagine a holiday without him now. He’s become a fixture in my life…so much so that it’s going to kill me if he ever breaks up with me.
Logan’s stirring, so I gotta sign off.
Ttyl,
Mads
Closing my laptop, I set it to the side and let my gaze settle on Logan’s sleeping face on the pillow beside mine. With the morning light filtering in over his sharp, clean-cut features, he looks like some kind of angel. An angel with stubble and tattoos. He sleeps shirtless, so I can see his dragon in its entirety. It reminds me of a guardian curled up and watching over him in his sleep.
His gorgeous eyes flutter open, and he smiles when he sees me watching him. “Hey, beautiful.”
“Hey, handsome.” I settle back down into the bed and let him wrap his arms around me.
Logan kisses my forehead, the tip of my nose, both cheeks, and then tenderly takes my mouth. Somehow he feels even better in the morning. I surrender to his kiss, tracing the length of his dragon all the way down to the crook of his elbow.
“How are you this morning, sweets?”
“I feel amazing.” I smile. “Thank you for being so great about everything last night.”
He brushes stray hairs back from my face and smirks. “You have nothing to thank me for. I’m sorry I assumed things when you weren’t ready for them.”
“You have nothing to apologize for—”
“Yes, I do.” He levels his gaze with mine, firm in his apology. “I should have known better. It takes time to be ready when you’ve never done anything before. My mom would disown me if she knew what I did.”
Giggling, I ask, “Why?”
“She raised me with old-fashioned, Southern boy values. Respect for women was number one. I should have come to the door and asked your father’s permission before taking you out on a date. She chewed me out big time when I told her how I picked you up without even opening the car door.”
A blush hits my cheeks. “You’ve told her about me?”
“Yeah.” He grins, and I notice his teeth are naturally straight, not the forced, rigid kind of straight that comes from having braces. Lucky bastard. “She’s really excited to meet you someday.”
“I’d love to meet her any time,” I tell him honestly. “From what I’ve heard of your mom, she’s the mother I wish I’d had growing up.”
Logan lets out a long sigh. “That’s another thing…I should have known you would have been in a bad emotional state right now—”
I cut him off with two fingers on his lips.
“Stop beating yourself up, babe. No harm done.”
“I didn’t scare you away?” he asks with a crooked grin.
I let my nose and forehead rest against his. “Not at all.”
“Sometimes I still can’t believe you’re my girlfriend.” He lifts my hand and presses a tender kiss to my knuckles.
“Is it because I’m such a dreamboat or because I’m the daughter of your idol?” I give him an exaggerated teasing grin.
Laughing, he says, “Both. You need to watch that ego of yours, though.”
“I scored the hottest drummer in the world, so cut me some slack. I think I earned the right to brag a little.”
Rubbing my knuckles with his thumb, he smiles at me. “I love you so much.” Immediately, he scrunches his eyes shut and purses his lips. His cheeks burn a deeper shade of bronze. “Fuck…I didn’t mean to say that—”
“I love you, too.” My heart threatens to pound out of my chest. Giddiness fills me from head to toe. Did we really just say what I think we said?
“Are you serious?” His gaze is adorably hopeful and vulnerable.
“Yes,” I breathe, letting myself fall into his kiss again. He holds me gently, letting his tongue sweep across my lower lip and pulling me slightly under his body. Logan cups my chin in his palm and presses back against my mouth until I’m seeing stars.
“I swear I didn’t mean to blurt that out so soon.” His chest vibrates with a chuckle. “Although, in a way, it feels like it was a long time coming. I kept almost saying ‘I love you’ this whole time and catching myself. I’d type it while we were texting and—”
“Erase it,” both
of us say in unison, staring at each other in shock.
“I didn’t want to scare you away,” he whispers.
“Me neither.” I gaze at him in awe. Everything about Logan—his stunning eyes and charm, how comfortable I feel with him, how we’re going to the same place in our careers and lives—makes me feel like I’ve found my soulmate. That’s a crazy thought. I’m only eighteen. I didn’t think this would happen for a while, but here it is happening, and I’m okay with it.
After a long time of kissing and whispering our love for each other over and over again, Logan pulls back and drops a bomb on me.
“I want to take you out tonight. There’s a big party in downtown L.A. It’s supposed to be the shindig of the year. You could probably get in easily being who you are.”
My heart lurches. A big, public party? With the press vultures circling us? I’ve been avoiding that mess ever since Halloween night. I wonder if he knows what he’s saying.
“Are you sure?” I ask, studying his face.
“Yeah…why?” His expression turns hesitant. “Do you not want people to know about us yet?”
“No, no it’s not that, it’s just…” I suck in a deep breath and sigh. Time for another difficult conversation. If this scares him away, it’s going to rip me apart, but it needs to be said.
“Logan, going out with me is going to open you up to scrutiny. You’re going to be in the public eye if that many people see us together. There could be paparazzi that follow me there. Are you sure you’re ready to expose yourself to that?”
Pushing himself up on his elbow, Logan leans against my headboard, looking pensive. He stares straight ahead at the wall opposite us. “I didn’t even think about that.” Turning his head, he looks at me again. “Do you have security that could escort us there?”
“I could get some of Dad’s security to come with us if that would make you feel better.”
His delicious lips pull up in a smirk. “Sweetheart, I’m worried about you, not me.” He takes my hand in his. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’ve noticed you’re not very careful when you go out sometimes. I don’t want to see anything bad happen to you.”
D.O.R.K. Series Box Set: Diary of a Rocker's Kid, The Sister Code, Twin Wars Page 52