That Woman in Wyoming

by Sherry Lewis

Reagan started to deny it, then stopped herself. She’d never get through to Travis if she wasn’t honest with him. “It wasn’t that Paul didn’t like you,” she said carefully. “He just didn’t like some of the things you did. He thought you should settle down, find a job and stay with it. He believed you’d be happier if you did.”

  “That’s the kind of life he wanted, not me. I doubt I’ll ever settle down.”

  Paul hadn’t wanted that kind of life, either, Reagan thought before she could stop herself. He’d married her and then spent the rest of his life avoiding the commitment that came with having a family. He’d chosen a job that hadn’t allowed him to be there for his daughters…or his wife. Reagan thought of Max making excuses for his single lifestyle, of Travis, of Paul, and wondered if any man really wanted to marry and make a life with a family, or if she’d just managed to surround herself with the ones who didn’t.

  Some of the glow from the day faded. She steered the conversation onto something more comfortable. “You and the girls seemed to be getting along great while we were at the park.”

  Travis grinned. “They’re pretty cool for teenage girls. Especially Jamie. Don’t get me wrong, I like Danielle, too. But Jamie’s more like me, if you know what I mean.”

  Reagan wasn’t sure she wanted to know. “She’s a lot like her dad, too.”

  “Yeah.” Travis nodded, broke off to listen to another news story accompanied by video of police cars and flashing lights, and finally went on. The fact that he had matured enough to pay attention to world events gave Reagan hope. “So, why won’t you let her take the climbing lessons she wants?”

  The question surprised her, though she didn’t know why it should. Reagan wouldn’t worry—as long as Jamie was looking for sympathy and not an ally. “There are several reasons,” she said when she realized Travis was waiting for an answer. “Was she complaining?”

  “A little. She thinks you’re trying to smother her or turn her into another Danielle.”

  Had every word she’d said to Jamie flown in one ear and out the other? “I’m not trying to do either,” she snapped, then softened it with a weak smile. “I’m sorry. It’s not your fault. I shouldn’t take out my frustrations on you.”

  “It’s okay. I’m used to it.” Travis turned the TV off and shifted to face her. “But really, sis. Why won’t you let her take the lessons? What’s it going to hurt?”

  “I’ve explained that to Jamie a dozen times. She knows my reasons.”

  “Why don’t you lighten up on her a little?”

  “You really don’t understand,” Reagan began.

  “Really?” His mouth twisted. “I don’t understand what it feels like to have a parent who doesn’t approve of you?”

  Reagan jerked back as if he’d slapped her. How could he equate trying to keep Jamie safe with what had happened between him and their father? “It’s not the same thing at all.”

  “It’s exactly the same thing, sis. Jamie is what she is—and she’s great. But she doesn’t think you like her much.”

  “That’s not true at all. I love her. She knows that.”

  “Oh. Okay. Right.” The twist of his mouth tightened with bitterness and his voice took on a sharp edge. “Just like I know how much Dad loves me?”

  “Dad does love you, Travis.”

  “Uh-huh.” He stood abruptly and tossed the remote onto the couch. “Well, you know what’s best, I’m sure. I sure as hell don’t.”

  Stunned speechless, Reagan watched him leave the room and fell back against the couch. She’d been in such a good mood only a few minutes ago.

  Now she felt as if she’d been run over and left in the middle of the road. She didn’t even want to think about what could be next.

  “YOU LOOK TIRED this morning,” Andie said as Reagan hung her coat on the hook near the door. “Big weekend?”

  “Too big.” Reagan shoved a lock of hair over her shoulder, wishing she’d had time to do something with it instead of leaving it loose. “My brother is staying with us for a while, and we spent yesterday on the go every minute.”

  “With or without Max?”

  “With, at least most of the time.” Reagan fought a yawn and headed for the coffeepot. “Getting ready this morning was a disaster. Travis is staying in Jamie’s room, but she didn’t take out everything she needed for school. He was dead to the world and didn’t even hear her knock on the door, so she kept running in and out of my bedroom while I was getting ready.” She sighed, poured a hefty dose of caffeine into her mug and filled another for Andie. “I didn’t even have time to make coffee.”

  Andie tucked a pencil behind her ear and dragged a stack of paper closer. “Nothing like having a man around to upset the routine.”

  Reagan took a welcome sip and sighed with contentment. “It’s not a man, it’s two of them. And I’m not complaining—not really. I love having Travis around.”

  “And Max?”

  “And Max.” Reagan lifted her cup to hide her sudden grin.

  “How are things with him?”

  “Fine.”

  “Fine?” Andie scowled playfully. “I don’t want to hear fine. I want details.”

  “I’m not sharing details,” Reagan said, crossing to her desk.

  “I don’t mean that kind of detail,” Andie teased. “I just wonder if things are getting serious.”

  “I’ve only known him a week. That’s hardly long enough to think serious.”

  Andie waved aside Reagan’s argument and handed her a raspberry Danish. “If it’s right, it doesn’t have to take forever. I’d just love to see you happy and settled with someone who loves you.”

  Reagan laughed softly and took another sip before picking up the stack of mail waiting for her in a basket beside her desk. “Well, don’t get your hopes up too high. Max isn’t here to stay, so nothing permanent is going to come of it.”

  “You never know. He might decide he loves it here too much to leave.”

  “I doubt that. He told me he’d be in town for a week, and that was a week ago. Besides, he’s a certified, die-hard city boy. He’d never be happy here.”

  “So, what’s to say you can’t follow him?”

  Reagan plied her letter opener on a thick manila envelope. “For one thing, he hasn’t asked.” She felt a nervous twinge as she slit open another envelope. “Do you mind if we don’t talk about this right now? I’m trying to keep myself in a state of denial, and admitting aloud that it’s going to be over soon is making my stomach hurt.”

  “Okay by me. Besides taking over Danielle’s room, how’s the visit with your brother going?”

  Reagan’s stomach knotted again, but she convinced herself it was from hunger this time. “It’s going great. I’ve always wished the family could be closer. Paul was an only child, so Travis is the only uncle the girls have. He seems much more mature than he did last time I saw him, and he seems to like it here. And the best thing is, he’s getting along really well with his nieces. Jamie was really upset with me for forgetting about out trip to Jackson until Travis talked to her last night. She actually seemed better this morning.”

  “What did he tell her?”

  “I don’t know. Neither of them talked about it and I didn’t want to pry.” Reagan lowered the mail to her desk and sighed. “I know this is premature, but I’d love it if he decided to find a job and stay around.”

  “Do you think he will?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t even know what he wants to do with his life. I’m not sure he knows. But for the first time in his life, I think he’s ready to find out.”

  Andie dabbed at the corners of her mouth, then dusted her fingers. “If he wants to stay, I could talk to Bart. He’ll be looking for help when the weather gets warmer. He might be willing to take Travis on a little early.”

  Reagan couldn’t think of anything more perfect. “What a great idea. Would you talk to him?”

  “Sure. No problem. In fact, I’ll ask when I call during lunch. Maybe it�
��ll help Travis make up his mind.”

  Feeling better by the minute, Reagan took another bite of her Danish and picked up another envelope. “I hope it works out. I’m sure that if Travis could find a job he liked, it would be a huge boost to his self-esteem.”

  “You’re such a mother hen,” Andie said with a grin. “Don’t you ever get tired of making sure everyone around you is tucked safely under your wings?”

  Reagan nearly cut her finger with the letter opener. She sat it aside and frowned at her friend. “What do you mean by that?”

  “I didn’t mean anything bad. It’s just that you’re always so concerned about everyone else, so determined to make sure everything’s all right for everyone around you.”

  “Is that such a bad thing?”

  “No. I just don’t want you to be disappointed if Travis doesn’t want to work with Bart, or if it doesn’t work out for some other reason. I don’t want you to feel like it’s your fault.”

  “Well, of course I won’t. Really, Andie, you’re making it sound as if I smother the people around me.”

  “I’m not saying that at all. You just try to insulate them—and maybe that’s not always such a good thing.” Andie linked her hands together on her desk. “When I look back at my life, I realize that the only times I’ve really grown as a person are the times when I’ve faced some sort of challenge. You can’t expect Travis to learn anything or get stronger if you protect him all the time.”

  “I’m not trying to protect him from challenges.” Reagan took a deep breath and tried to steady herself. “I just don’t want him to make mistakes that he’ll have to suffer for.”

  “But it’s the suffering that brings on the growth,” Andie insisted.

  “That’s ridiculous. You’re saying I should sit back and do nothing while Travis make mistakes that could ruin his life?”

  “I’m saying that maybe it’s not your job to decide for him what’s a mistake and what isn’t. I’m saying that maybe if he makes a few errors in judgment and has to dig himself out, it would be good for him.”

  Reagan tossed the rest of her Danish into the garbage and picked up the stack of unopened mail. “Would you sit back and do nothing while Tommy or Justin did something foolish?”

  Andie’s cheeks flushed. “Of course not. But I’m their mother, not their sister. And even then, I’d offer my best advice, but I wouldn’t throw myself in their path and try to force them to do what I think is right for them.”

  The accusation stung. Reagan shoved her chair under her desk with a bang. “I’m not throwing myself in Travis’s path. And I’m tired of arguing with you about it. If you need me, I’ll be in the copy room.”

  “Don’t run off mad,” Andie called after her.

  Reagan stopped at the door and turned back to face her friend. “I’m angry,” she said. “And I’m hurt. And if I don’t leave, I’m going to say something I’ll regret.”

  Andie looked miserable. “I didn’t mean to upset you. You’re my best friend. I wouldn’t hurt you for the world. But I know that you’ve been having trouble with Jamie, and now Travis. I just thought—” She broke off at the look on Reagan’s face. “Maybe I didn’t think.”

  Reagan took a couple of steps back into the office. “I know you didn’t hurt me intentionally. In fact, you’re not saying anything Travis hasn’t already said. But how can I let go? How can I just look the other way? Maybe I am just his sister, but Mom’s not around to help him and he won’t even speak to Dad. If I could just bring the two of them together again—”

  Andie got up and closed the distance between them. “You can’t fix the world, Reagan. You’ll make yourself sick trying. It’s just possible that Travis will have to hit rock bottom before he starts climbing back up again, and if you’re always there smoothing the way for him, you’re making it possible for him to keep skirting the experiences that might actually make him want to change his life.”

  “I refuse to believe that,” Reagan said stiffly. “I can’t believe it. Travis just needs some direction, and I’m the only person in the world who believes in him enough to give it to him.”

  Andie’s eyes roamed across her face for a long moment before she sighed in resignation. “You’re right. We shouldn’t be talking about this. I’m only upsetting you, and that’s not what I want to do.” She shook herself as if she could get rid of the tension between them that way. “Just forget I said anything, okay?”

  “Sure.” Reagan shifted the stack of mail in her arms and forced a smile. “It’s forgotten.”

  “I’ll call Bart at lunch and ask him about that job.”

  “Great. Thanks.” Reagan turned back toward the copy room, wishing it were as easy as that to put something unpleasant out of her mind. And she wondered—for just a split second—whether there might be some truth in the accusations everyone seemed determined to throw at her.

  CHAPTER TEN

  BY THE TIME REAGAN got home that evening, she felt only marginally better. The atmosphere between her and Andie had remained strained for most of the day, in spite of their best efforts to smooth things over. She turned her key in the lock, tossed her mail and purse onto the table inside the front door, and stared in disbelief as they hit the floor where the table used to be. Confused, she moved into the living room and ground to a halt just before she ran into the back of the couch.

  “Jamie?” she called. “Danielle?” Everything in the living room had been moved as well. The room looked cramped and crowded, and about half its normal size. The girls would never do anything like this without at least calling her. So Travis must be responsible.

  Telling herself her irritation was out of place, she took a steadying breath, kicked off her shoes and carried them down the hall toward her bedroom. “Jamie? Danielle? Where is everybody?”

  Laughter from outside in the backyard drifted in through one of the partially open windows. She pulled aside the blind and peered outside. The girls lay on the grass looking up at the sky. Travis lounged in a lawn chair she’d put into the garage before winter.

  She felt another flash of irritation. Jamie was due at basketball practice in ten minutes and she obviously hadn’t even thought about getting ready. Danielle’s jazz dance class started in half an hour, and she was lying on the grass as if she had nothing to do but watch clouds.

  Reagan changed quickly into jeans and her favorite light sweater and headed through the kitchen toward the back door. Backpacks lay abandoned on the floor beside the table. The girls hadn’t even unzipped them yet.

  This wasn’t like her daughters. She knew exactly whose influence this was. No matter how much homework he’d been assigned as a kid, Travis had never done it without prompting—lots of prompting. And now Jamie and Danielle were following suit.

  She stepped out into the backyard and three sets of eyes shot toward her. “It looks like you’ve all been busy,” she said, making an effort to keep her voice light. “What made you decide to rearrange the furniture?”

  Travis kicked one foot gently. “I was bored, and it was something to do.”

  Reagan looked from Jamie to Danielle slowly. “Did you help?”

  “A little,” Danielle admitted. “Just since we’ve been home from school.”

  “What happened to homework?”

  “We’re going to do it later.” Jamie actually sounded proud of their decision.

  “When? You know Max is coming to dinner for Travis’s chili. And what about practice?”

  “I don’t want to go to practice.” Jamie’s expression grew tight and almost haughty. “I don’t want to play basketball anymore.”

  Reagan’s temper flashed to the surface. “You are going to play. You’ve made a commitment to the coach and the team, and you’re going to keep it.”

  Jamie’s eyes blazed, but she stood, clamped her mouth shut and shuffled toward the house just slow enough to make sure her mother knew how she felt.

  Reagan turned to Danielle. “What about dance class? When were you
planning to change?”

  Danielle’s face turned a deep shade of red. “I forgot, too. I’m sorry.” She sprinted off toward the house, leaving Reagan alone with Travis.

  When Travis stood as if he intended to follow, she motioned him back toward the lawn chair. “Wait a second, okay? I want to talk to you.”

  He sank back into his chair and eyed her warily. “What now? How did I screw up this time?”

  The question diffused Reagan’s anger and reminded her of how much Travis needed direction and approval. She perched against the picnic table and crossed one foot over the other. “You didn’t screw up, Trav. But in this house, homework always comes first. Next time, I’d appreciate it if you’d remind the girls of that. They can help you when they’re through with homework and their other activities.”

  “Are they ever done?”

  “Of course they are. They have plenty of spare time.” Reagan gripped the edge of the table and gave herself a moment to deal with the flare of irritation left over from her conversation with Andie. “That’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.”

  Travis had leaned forward, arms resting on his knees, hands linked together. He slanted a glance at her, and he looked so young and vulnerable, her heart softened again. “I’ve done something else wrong?”

  “No. Not at all. I was talking to a friend at work today and she mentioned that her husband is looking for someone to help on their ranch. He’s willing to give you the job if you’re interested.”

  Travis shot out of the lawn chair so fast it toppled over. “You told her I was here? I thought I told you not to tell anybody.”

  “Well, I—” She broke off uncertainly. “I’m sorry, Travis. I know you said you didn’t want to meet a lot of people, but—”

  “Who else have you told?”

  “Nobody. Look, I’m sorry I forgot, but she’s a very close friend. She won’t say anything if I ask her not to.”

  “You weren’t supposed to tell anyone.” He took a few jerky steps away and raked his fingers through his hair again. “I trusted you.”

  His reaction shocked her into silence, but only for a moment. Suspicion began to dawn as she watched him. “Why are you so upset, Travis?”