Plenty Proud

by Jeanie P Johnson

“She did love you,” she mumbled. “She told me so. She said she loved you too much. I told her you could take more than one wife is she did not feel good enough to please you. Only she told me if she was your wife, she would never let you take another. She did not understand our ways. Maybe it is better this way.”

  Plenty Proud sighed. Maybe his whole problem was that he believed he could train Firelight to accept the ways of the Sioux. He wondered if he would have wanted to be trained to accept the way of the white man, and realized he wouldn’t. He had overestimated his own abilities. He was thinking of his own happiness, not Firelight’s happiness. Perhaps he did not deserve her love. He had to face the truth. The vision showed that Firelight was going home. What the other part of the vision meant, he may never discover. Maybe his father was right. Maybe if he couldn’t have the one he loved, he should at least take someone who loved him.

  He knew Little Bird loved him, and she had been very patient with him where Firelight was concerned. She had helped nurse Eagle Eye, probably happy that Eagle Eye had taken the white girl away so she would have a chance with him again. It was time to swallow his pride and live as a Sioux brave was expected to live. He could drown his sorrow in the comfort of Little Bird’s arms, he decided. Perhaps, eventually, he could forget Firelight altogether.

  “I still love Firelight, but if you can have patience with me, I will try to love you instead,” he murmured. “My father and mother wish me to take a wife, and if it can’t be Firelight, it might as well be you,” he told her, smiling down at her, and trying to put Firelight out of his mind. He had forgotten his vow to remain as a widower, like the maiden in the myth. Only myths were just that… he doubted, like Firelight had, if it had even been true.

  Eagle Eye watched at a distance as the tribe celebrated the tying together of Plenty Proud and Little Bird. The drums beat and the people chanted and danced around the fire, pledging to protect any children produced by them. They sang songs of good wishes and happy futures, with many buffalo coming back each spring to feed them and the rest of the tribe. The singing and dancing continued through the night, even after Little Bird and Plenty Proud retired to the tepee they still shared with his father and mother. As he listened to the celebration, his thoughts went back to the cave with Firelight in his arms, loving the touch and feel of her, while knowing how much he was betraying Plenty Proud. He didn’t think he could ever forgive himself either. It was a good thing Plenty Proud did not know.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Mackenzie dragged herself up off of the bed and dried her eyes. She had been crying for too long. Tears were not going to solve anything. She couldn’t stay in the house. Even if her father and brother came back, they would have to find a new place to live. She doubted if they were ever coming back, or they would have been here. They must have been killed in the avalanche. The thought hit her hard. All this time she had held out hope, but now, she was going to have to face the truth. She had nobody! Nobody except for Plenty Proud and Eagle Eye, she thought. Only she wasn’t sure she wanted to surrender herself to living like the Indians. The very thought frightened her.

  She thought of how she had felt in Plenty Proud’s arms, and then it started to morph into how she felt in Eagle Eye’s arms. She barely knew either of them. She wondered what would happen if she went back to the village. The two would end up fighting over her affection. If she didn’t go back, she would have to find a way to support herself here. She had no money, and even if she remained at the house for as long as she could, she would still have to find a place to live, eventually.

  She looked down at the dress she was wearing. She couldn’t remain dressed as an Indian, yet she felt so comfortable in the dress. The thought of long skirts and petticoats discouraged her. She knew she had lots of clothes she had left behind in her wardrobe. She walked to it and opened the door. As she did, the full length mirror she had attached to the inside of the door caught her reflection. She stopped and stared. She looked worse than she had when she had seen herself in the mirror at the trading post. Worse yet, she was mere skin and bones. She had lost so much weight, that the Indian dress hung loosely on her. It was no wonder people were staring at her. It wasn’t just the dress she was wearing, but her ghastly appearance! She doubted any of her old dresses would even fit her any longer. At least when she was with Griz he had kept meat on her bones. Now she looked like a redheaded scarecrow!

  She just stood there staring at the stranger in the mirror looking back at her with dark circles under her eyes, her hair in tangles, and flesh barely hanging on her bones. She couldn’t go anywhere looking like this. She would have to start putting on some weight first, regardless of what she decided to do about her situation.

  She went downstairs and started rummaging around the kitchen, checking all the cupboards looking to find something to eat. There was still bottled food she and her mother had put up before she died, along with dried beans and rice, and enough flour to make some biscuits. She would probably have to sift the weevils out of it, though.

  She took out a bottle of string beans, and a bottle of carrots, put some rice on to cook, once she got the fire going in the stove, and at the same time, started filling the tin bathtub, as the water pipes in the stove heated up, while she made the biscuit dough.

  Once the tub was full, the rice and biscuits still had to cook for a bit, so she decided to bathe while she was waiting. She sank down into the warm water and closed her eyes. It was much better than bathing in the cold river, she thought. If she ever went back to the village, she planned to bring her tin tub with her. She could fill it with water and build a fire under it to bathe, she thought. She could probably tow it behind the canoe. She was sure it would float. She could even use it to put some of her things in to take back with her.

  Mackenzie opened her eyes. She realized she was making plans to return to the village. She wondered if that was wise. She closed her eyes again and tried to think of something else, but all that came to her was making love to both Plenty Proud and Eagle Eye. As she was comparing the two in her mind, she suddenly sat up in the tub and gave a little squeak of shock. It occurred to her that she had not bled since before she left Griz’s cabin. She knew what that meant, and now she sat shivering in her warm tub at the thought.

  She couldn’t be carrying a child! How could it be? She had only been once with each brave. She thought it took many times to bring about having children. Only if it was true… Her eyes widened. She wouldn’t know who the baby belonged to. She hoped it belonged to Plenty Proud, but what if it belonged to Eagle Eye? How would she be able to tell? Worse yet, what was she going to do about it? If she stayed here, she would be looked down on as an unwed mother. No one would give her work. Then once the baby was born, she would be shunned because it was a half-breed. Her future looked bleak.

  Mackenzie got out of the tub and dried off and put on a simple dress with no petticoats. She emptied the tub with a bucket, pouring the water down the sink drain. Then she warmed up the carrots and string beans, spooned them onto the rice, and took the biscuits out of the oven. Finally, she sat down at the table and ate as much as her stomach could hold, trying to push the thought of babies out of her mind. She would wait for a while, before she actually accepted the possibility. She may be off her cycle because of all she had been going through, she thought. Besides, it might be too soon to tell. It had only been about three weeks since… Lord… that was almost a month. Maybe it wasn’t too soon to tell.

  She just hoped it was for some other reason that she was off her usual regularity, but even so, it did not solve her problem of what she was going to do when they came and kicked her out of the house. Regardless of her condition one way or the other, she realized she had no choice but to go back to the village, hoping Plenty Proud would forgive her for leaving and take her back again. Little Bird would not like that, she thought. If he refused to take her back, she would ask to be adopted into the tribe so at least she would have a place to live. She hoped against hope she was
n’t carrying a baby.

  If he took her back, she would learn to face the future of being a brave’s wife, and considering that brave was Plenty Proud, it wouldn’t be so bad, she decided. She could get used to the Indian way of doing things, she told herself firmly. She would bring some of her things and extra food in the tub, tied to the canoe, and then put as much as she could in the canoe as well. She knew it would be harder paddling upriver, towing the tub behind her, which meant it would take a lot longer than coming downriver with the current. However, now that the spring melt was over, the river would probably slow down a bit, making paddling a little easier, she hoped.

  Mackenzie realized she had already talked herself into going back, but before she actually left, she wanted to gain her weight back so she would be strong and fit to make the journey back upriver. Also, she would sell as much of the belongings from her house as she could, and get herself another gun, and whatever other supplies she would need for the journey back.

  Mackenzie took a cloth and dampened it to wash down her Indian dress, which she planned to wear on her journey back, then she would hang it up to air out. As she did, she found the paper in her pocket that showed how many pelts she had left to trade at the trading post. It might come in handy in the future, she thought. She wondered if there were any more pelts at her father’s old cabin. However, Griz probably found and kept them by now. She had no intention of ever seeing Griz again, though.

  Now she looked around the house, writing down all the articles she felt she could sell. Even if she didn’t spend all the money she got for her belongings by getting supplies, she could use it at the trading post to buy other goods with in the future. She knew the Sioux visited the trading post at least once a year. She would bring something with her as gifts for Plenty Proud, Little Bird and White Wing, and even Plenty Proud’s father, she thought, hoping it would soften their hearts to allow her to stay.

  She knew how the Indians liked to wear hats, and many of them wore hats from white people they had killed. They had even taken hats from military men they had fought in battle. They often dug up dead bodies of people from wagon trains and stole their clothing, using belts, scarves, and neckerchiefs to decorate their own clothing. They especially liked beads and things that sparkled. She kept all this in mind as she decided on what she would bring her Indian friends. She knew they smoked pipes and liked tobacco. She would have to buy some for Plenty Proud’s father, she thought. She wondered if Little Bird would like combs for her hair. The Indians seemed to like to decorate their hair with feathers and beads, and strips of furry leather, wrapped around the ends of their braids.

  Then she began to write down things she wanted to bring with her, like soap, and matches, cooking utensils and dishes. It seemed dishes in an Indian village were sparse and they only had a few pots to cook in, that they got from the trading post. They had to resort to cooking stew inside a buffalo stomach. They didn’t even have glass jars or silver wear. No one knew how to read, so they didn’t have any books. Mackenzie did not take into consideration that the tribe moved several times during the year to follow the buffalo. They could not cart a lot of belongings with them and so they lived very frugally, only using the bare necessities for every-day life.

  For the next week, Mackenzie occupied herself sorting out objects in the house that she would sell or bring with her. She ate as often as her shrunken stomach allowed. When she went out to sell her belongings, a little at a time, she always wore dresses with lots of petticoats, wearing bulky sweaters as well, to hide how thin she was. Some of the money she got from her belongings at the secondhand store, she used for more food, getting enough to eat while she was there and some to take with her.

  She knew she could not cart a tub full of belongings down to the river, so she took small amounts of what she wished to take with her, down to the canoe and hid it, deciding she would take the tub last, once it got dark, and fill it when she got to the river with it.

  Eventually, she was satisfied with her weight gain. She had finished taking all she needed down to the river, and had sold as much belongings as the secondhand store would take. That evening, she carted the tub out to the front porch, locked the door, took one long last look at her childhood house and bid it farewell, putting the key back under the pot. Her life was going to change from this moment on. She wore the Indian dress and had put her long hair in braids to keep it neat during her long journey back up the river.

  She hoped she was strong enough to take the trip. She had another gun she got from trading some of her things for it at the secondhand store, and bought some ammunition for it. She still had a little money left, and all the food she would need on her journey back, so she wouldn’t show up in the same condition she ended up in when she got to Missouri.

  Mackenzie only hoped she didn’t encounter any problems going back. She knew she would have to stop along the shore to sleep, because now she couldn’t let the current take her at night, since it was going in the opposite direction. However, she decided to sleep in the canoe, draping a tarp over it, to help hide it from the view of the river, and cut some branches to lay over the tarp to camouflage it even more.

  Mackenzie held the tub, resting on her shoulder as she made her way to the river for the last time. She put it in the water, just to make sure it floated and did not tip over. When she was satisfied it was seaworthy enough, she started loading it with whatever did not fit in the canoe. Then she covered it with the tarp, and tied a rope to the handle on the end of the tub, and connected it to the end of her canoe. Now, she pushed the canoe out into the river and got in and began to paddle. She was surprised at how easily the tub followed behind.

  It was harder to paddle against the current, but Mackenzie had no other choice. She could already feel her arms starting to ache, but she was sure her arms would get stronger, the longer she paddled the canoe. Once her arms started to give out, she decided to stop for the night and rest. There wasn’t a lot of traffic on the river that time of night except for an occasional paddle boat taking passengers along the river, either to a destination or to enjoy a cruse on the river while they socialized.

  Mackenzie paddled to shore, pulling the canoe up on land, but leaving the tub in the water. She covered everything with the tarp, cut some branches off of a nearby tree with a small hatchet she had brought with her, and laid them over the tarp. Then she crawled under the tarp, laid down on her buffalo robes inside the canoe and covered with the quilt she had brought with her. She decided she would take the branches with her, when she left the next morning, placing them on top of the tarp in the tub. That way, she wouldn’t have to bother cutting branches to put over everything at night, she decided.

  By morning, she felt refreshed. She ate some biscuits and salt pork, from the supply of biscuits she had baked for the occasion and salt pork she had bought at the butcher. Then she ate an apple, before she shoved off again. There was a lot more traffic on the river now, and once again people stared at her, but she was sure it was because she was tugging a tub behind her, besides being dressed as an Indian paddling an Indian canoe.

  No one bothered to stop her or ask questions, and she felt it was just as well. She couldn’t wait to get to the Cheyenne River where it would be more solitary. She realized she could not paddle straight against the current and would have to tack back and forth across the river to make it easier to paddle. Because of that, she had to watch out to make sure there were no boats that would prevent her from crossing back and forth as she traveled up the river.

  It took her three weeks to get to the Cheyenne River. Now more than half of her journey was accomplished. At the same time, she was almost positive she was carrying a baby either belonging to Plenty Proud or Eagle Eye. She didn’t know which. Her only hope was that Plenty Proud would take her as his wife, but if he wouldn’t, she could never allow him to know she was carrying a child because then he would think certain it belonged to him and feel obligated to make her his wife. She wanted his love, not his obliga
tion.

  She wondered what had happened to Eagle Eye. He may be dead, and if Plenty Proud refused to take her back, she would have no one in the tribe to call her friend. She was beginning to feel apprehensive and worried she was making the wrong decision. Still, she plodded onward, since she didn’t seem to have much of a choice otherwise. Her arms did get stronger, and it allowed her to paddle farther before tiring. She continued to eat as much as she could so she would keep gaining weight instead of losing it because of the exertion she was putting into paddling the canoe. She slept fitfully at night, dreaming she had the baby and it looked like Griz instead of either Plenty Proud or Eagle Eye. She would wake up in a sweat when that happened.

  One morning she woke up to rain. She didn’t want to risk the canoe or the tub filling with water and sinking, so she remained under the tarp all day, waiting for the rain to let up. It rained for two days straight, causing her to lose time, making it all the longer before she ever reached her destination. The longer the days stretched out, the more worried she became. By the time she got back to the Indian village, it would have been over two months since she had been there. Plenty Proud most likely would not expect her to return, she thought. She didn’t even know if the village would still be there, since they often moved to follow the buffalo. Only she was certain they had killed plenty of buffalo to last the tribe for a while before they needed to move again. At least she hoped so.

  Another week and she had passed the place where she had found the canoe. Just another day or so and she would be there, she thought happily. As she approached where she believed the village to be, she let out a sigh of relief. She could see the village in the distance. It was the same view she had longingly watched before she and Eagle Eye had rounded the bend in the river on their way out. The village had not moved after all.

  Mackenzie pulled the canoe to shore and secured it, tying it to a bush. She started to step out of the canoe, but paused when she heard voices. Instinctively, she ducked down behind the canoe and looked over the brim. It was then she saw Plenty Proud, lying in the green grass, talking to someone. Only she couldn’t see who he was talking to.