Catwalk Queen

by Cathy Hopkins

  ‘I don’t know what some girls are even doing here,’ said a blonde girl as she looked around at the contestants. ‘I can’t believe some of them got through.’

  I glanced away. She probably meant me.

  ‘Yeah. So many of them want to be chummy but I’m not here to make friends,’ said her friend. ‘It’s business, not a social outing.’

  I decided not to try and get talking to them and was relieved when my phone bleeped that I had two messages. Pia had texted: Good luck gorgeous girl. And Alisha had written. It’s all an act so act confident. A XXXXX

  As I sat there, I wondered what I’d let myself in for. Part of me wanted to do a runner but Flo would kill me if she came out and found I’d deserted her. After what felt like an endless long wait, my group of ten were called into a conference room where there were two women and a man sitting behind a long table. Suzie followed us in and indicated we should stand in a line in front of them. It felt really weird as we looked at the panel and they stared back at us. The man looked about sixty, friendly, with blue twinkly eyes, a white beard and very short hair. He was wearing a black leather jacket and looked like one of the arty crowd my gran hangs out with. The woman next to him was striking, smart in a tailored grey suit, bright red lipstick, and she had her dark hair scraped back. She looked scary in a Wizard of Oz, Wicked Witch of the West kind of way and stared right through me. The second lady had long blonde hair and big brown eyes and she was dressed in layers of pale green. She looked a bit scary too, she wasn’t smiling like the man.

  ‘OK, everyone. Quick introductions to your judges. This is Derek Dawson,’ said Suzie, ‘some of you may already know him and his work for Vogue, Harper’s, Tatler, all the glossies. We’re very lucky to have him. Next to him is Karie Mansfield, editor of City Girl magazine, and on the right is Jackie Canning who runs Model M. Most of you have already met me. I’m Suzie Ashford. I’ll be your co-ordinator today. Any questions or concerns, just come to me.’

  We were asked to step forward one by one for a short interview.

  ‘A chance to get to know the girl behind the photo,’ Suzie explained.

  As I listened to the first few girls, I realised that I was shaking inside. This wasn’t a game any more. It wasn’t the laugh I’d imagined, it was terrifying. A few girls sounded confident, a few not so sure, and one girl could hardly talk at all and Derek had to ask her to speak up. I tried to take in what they were saying in order to prepare myself but part of my brain seemed to have left the room.

  ‘Jessica Hall,’ called Suzie.

  I put my hand up.

  ‘Step forward,’ said Suzie.

  ‘Where are you from?’ asked Derek.

  ‘London,’ I said.

  ‘And why do you want to be a model, Jessica?’ asked Jackie.

  ‘I . . .’ I had no idea. I didn’t even know if I wanted to be a model but the people sitting in front of me didn’t look like they’d appreciate it if I told them that and wouldn’t like me wasting their time. They were waiting for me to say something. ‘Act,’ said Alisha’s voice in my head. ‘Pretend like you’re already the best.’ Oh, God, I thought, this is my X Factor moment. Don’t blow it, Jess. I made myself stand tall. ‘I’ve always loved clothes and the fashion world and I’d love to be an active part of it.’

  Derek smiled and Karie nodded. Phew, I thought.

  Jackie frowned. ‘Modelling is hard work, Jessica. Long hours, all conditions. Do you think you have what it takes?’

  ‘Oh yes,’ I said. ‘Absolutely.’ Oh no, I thought. And remind me to kill Pia when I get out of here. I will get through today then that’s it. I don’t want to be looked at the way the judges are and I don’t want to compete with other girls. I thought this would be fun, but it so isn’t.

  ‘Our winner has to have IT. You know what I mean by IT. What do you think IT is?’ said Derek.

  ‘Hard to define,’ I said. ‘But you know it when you see it.’ I gave them a big smile.

  They didn’t look impressed and Jackie nodded to Suzie.

  ‘OK, next,’ she called. ‘Emma Summers.’

  I stepped back into the line and another girl stepped forward. I couldn’t wait to get out but it wasn’t over after our brief interview. We all trooped back into the main room and as we waited, girls used the time to reapply lipgloss, text or brush their hair. The atmosphere felt tense and no-one was chatting any more. The door opened and in a second, the mood in the room changed from anxious to excited. It was Tanisha. She peeled off her parka and dropped it on a chair. She was wearing a skin-tight jeans, a black T-shirt and high black boots. Even dressed in normal clothes, she exuded glamour.

  ‘Hi, girls,’ she said and gave us a wave.

  ‘Hi,’ we chorused back. I could see that my competitors were as star-struck as I was.

  ‘Just checking in with y’all,’ she said as she surveyed the room. When she spotted me, she gave me the tiniest wink in acknowledgement. I guess she didn’t want to show any favouritism. Kiera leant forward, caught my eye and raised her eyebrow to let me know that although no-one else had seen Tanisha wink at me, she’d noticed.

  ‘I don’t know if Suzie’s explained or not but after today,’ Tanisha continued, ‘twenty girls will go through to round two. I wish I could take you all but you know the score, there has to be eliminations. If you don’t get through and you still want to make it in the modelling world, don’t give up. It will be good preparation because you won’t always get every job you go for and you can’t take it personally or else you won’t last a week. If you do get through, remember, be punctual. In the modelling world, time is money and if you’re late for a photo shoot, it can cost thousands. So, good luck with it all and remember, every one of you is beautiful. Be kind with each other and remember, it’s only a competition. OK, lecture over! I’m going to go say hi to the others, have a chat and see how you’ve all been getting on today. ’kay. Bye for now.’

  ‘Byeee,’ we chorused as she swept out of the room, and a buzz of chatter filled the room.

  Suzie came through and clapped her hands for silence. ‘Next we’re going to give you a task. We’re going to see if you can sell a product,’ she said. ‘I can see you’ve all got the looks – you wouldn’t have got this far if you hadn’t – but can you sell?’ She indicated a camera to the left of the room which was surrounded by lights. I hadn’t noticed it when I’d come in because I’d been too busy shaking and watching the other girls. ‘A model has to be able to sell anything and today your job is to sell an organic drink that’s new on the market. Each girl will have exactly one minute. Don’t think about it too much, this is just to see if you can adapt in any situation and what each of you do. Be spontaneous.’

  A few girls looked panicked but strangely I didn’t feel too bad about having to do the task. We’d done things like this at school in drama when our teacher would give us a prop and ask us to improvise. I also felt more relaxed since I’d told myself that after today, I wasn’t coming back. More than anything though, I was aware of my rumbling stomach. I was starving but neither Flo nor I had thought to bring anything to eat or drink and it didn’t look as if anything was going to be provided.

  The girl who could hardly talk in the first interview went on and fluffed it. She made no sense at all. I felt sorry for her because she was first and thrown in the deep end. A girl with spiky hair was second. She was amazing. She made a name up for the product, looked straight at the camera and seemed totally in control. Flo was OK but I could see that she was nervous and her voice was a bit flat. Keira was really good, smooth and confident, and I noticed Jackie turned to Karie and nod as though she liked what she saw.

  Soon it was my turn. I took my place, took a deep breath, looked at the camera and just as I was about to speak, my stomach made a loud gurgle. ‘I— woah! Oops.’ I went bright red. A few girls tittered. I burst out laughing too because my stomach continued to grumble and growl. There was no stopping it, no matter how much I tried to breathe in and hold
my stomach muscles. Gurgle, gurgle, it went. ‘Yes, when hunger strikes, you know it’s time for Gogo juice,’ I said to camera. I remembered what our drama teacher always said in class about not being static and to move around to make an act more visual so I decided to do a jungle dance to go with my commercial for the juice. ‘Ah rumble, ah rumble, rumble in the jungle with GOGOOO juice.’ Gurgle wurgle, my stomach joined in.

  Suzie and the cameraman looked at me as if I was mad. And so ends my short but sweet career as a model, I thought. I felt that there was nothing else to do except smile at the camera and bow.

  8

  Challenge

  Later that evening, I was sitting with Pia, Charlie and Henry with my feet up in front of the telly. As a treat, Dad had let us get fish and chips.

  ‘Yumbocious,’ I said as I finished off my last chip.

  ‘Indeedie doodie,’ said Charlie. He threw a chip in the air and caught it in his mouth. He’s a strange boy.

  ‘Well, you gave it your best shot,’ said Pia.

  ‘I did. I honestly did but some of those girls were so serious, I mean, they had personal trainers lined up—’

  Henry flexed an arm muscle. ‘I could do that. I could be your trainer.’

  ‘Thanks, but I won’t be needing you and even if I did, I’d want someone to help me tone up, not a rugby coach like you.’

  ‘You never know. In a competition like that, it might be useful to know how to do a good rugby tackle,’ said Henry and Pia nodded in agreement.

  ‘I think these girls have their own tactics,’ I said. ‘Some of them looked like they’d spent a fortune on fake eyelashes, spray tans, teeth whitening, highlights. They were in to win. The only effort I’d made was that I’d washed my hair. I felt a fake. Nah, not for me.’

  My phone bleeped in the background.

  ‘Probably Flo,’ said Charlie. ‘She said she might come by.’

  I glanced at Pia. Flo had come by when Charlie was out collecting the supper with Henry. After a quick hi, she’d gone up to spend the evening with Alexei in his apartment. Now that it looked like Flo had another admirer, I wondered if Charlie had suddenly realised what he might be losing. I glanced at my phone. It was a message from Keira: Just passing, am outside and realised this is where you live.

  ‘Oh no,’ I said. ‘I’m not going to answer.’

  We went back to watching the TV and my phone beeped again.

  Don’t you want to be friends?

  Pia glanced over my shoulder at the text. ‘Text back, no, I don’t. She can’t know you’re in.’

  I felt mean. Here was I, all cosy with my mates, and there was Keira, only just back in the UK, standing outside on her own. I couldn’t do it to her. I picked up my phone.

  Pia glanced at me. ‘You don’t have to, you know. You’re too nice.’

  ‘Who was it?’ asked Charlie.

  ‘Keira.’

  ‘Keira KO not OK?’ said Charlie. I’d reminded him of our nickname for her when I told him that she was back in town.

  I nodded. ‘She’s outside. She wants to come in.’

  ‘Want me to go and get her?’ he asked.

  Pia sighed as I nodded then got up to clear away dishes.

  Five minutes later, Charlie was back with Keira. She winked at Henry, grinned at Pia then handed me a bottle of elderflower juice. ‘Hi, guys, I couldn’t pass so close and not call in,’ she said.

  ‘You could,’ Pia mouthed at me behind her.

  ‘I’m about to make hot chocolates,’ I said. ‘Do you want one?’

  She shook her head. ‘I’m off sugar. I’ll have some of the elderflower. It’s sugar free. Thanks.’

  I got up, went to the breakfast bar and poured her a glass.

  Keira followed me over. ‘You left pretty swiftly this afternoon. I was hoping to see you after. Compare notes.’

  ‘Aunt Maddie was outside,’ I said. ‘I didn’t want to keep her waiting. How did you get on?’

  ‘Great. Good. Fun. I hope I get through. You?’

  ‘Not great. I decided it’s not for me.’

  Keira nodded. ‘I thought you’d decide that.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Well . . . don’t forget that I’ve known you a long time.’

  I was quiet for a few moments but it bugged me. What was she insinuating? ‘What do you mean? You know me?’

  Kiera shrugged a shoulder and turned to watch Henry and Pia who were curled up on the sofa. ‘Oh, nothing. I shouldn’t have said anything.’

  ‘Oh come on, Keira. You can’t say that.’ Again, I had a familiar nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach as I remembered how she used to do this when we were younger when she’d make out she knew something or had a secret but wasn’t going to tell.

  ‘OK, just, well . . . let’s just say I thought you’d drop out. I remember you don’t like criticism and you don’t like to step outside your comfort zone. To be honest, I don’t think you’ve got what it takes. I don’t mean that in a mean way . . . just, you have to be tough to go through with something like this.’

  ‘Are you saying I’m not tough enough?’

  ‘No. OK, yes. You’ve got to have the right attitude and you’re so totally inoffensive. I mean that in a nice way, Jess.’

  So why do I feel like you’re putting me down? I asked myself.

  The landline rang and this time Charlie took the call. He spoke into the phone for a few moments then looked up. ‘Alisha wants to know if we want to go up for cheesecake,’ he said. ‘She wants to see us before they go tomorrow.’

  ‘Yay,’ said Henry who had a sweet tooth and could be lured anywhere with pudding.

  ‘Who’s Alisha?’ asked Keira.

  ‘One of the residents’ daughters,’ said Henry. ‘Jefferson Lewis’s daughter.’ Pia kicked him. ‘Ow. What? What have I done?’

  If Keira noticed, she didn’t let on. Her face had lit up. ‘Are you going to go?’

  ‘I . . . oh . . .’

  ‘Security’s really tight up there, Keira,’ said Pia. ‘Designed by the SAS and you don’t want to mess with them.’

  Keira rolled her eyes. ‘They let you up though, yeah?’

  Pia nodded. ‘Yes, but we’ve been friends of Alisha’s for a while.’

  ‘Which is exactly why the SAS or whoever won’t mind if you OK it with your new friend. Do you think she’d mind if I tagged along, Jess? I won’t stay long because as I was just saying, I was only passing.’ She got up and went to link arms with Charlie. ‘Ask if she minds if you bring a friend, hey?’

  Charlie looked at me as if to say, what can I do? I could hear Pia sighing heavily. Henry was oblivious to it all.

  ‘Fine,’ I said. ‘Ask if we can bring someone.’

  Fifteen minutes later, we were up at the Lewises’. The apartment was full of people coming and going: Mr Lewis’s PA, Mrs Lewis’s masseur, cleaners taking instructions for when the family were away, decorators also being given a job list for while they were away, Marguerite the housekeeper cooking, a valet packing, the chauffeur confirming times of departure.

  Despite all the chaos, Keira had met Mr and Mrs Lewis and had chatted with them briefly about films and the weather and was soon happily sitting up at the breakfast bar between Charlie and JJ and tucking into home-made lime cheesecake, all talk of not eating sugar seemingly forgotten for the moment. I felt so jealous. JJ and Charlie were my two boys – my brother and my almost boyfriend – and she’d managed to muscle in. I am such a horrible person, I thought as I watched her flirt with JJ and he laughed at something she said. The scene was my worst nightmare. My first maybe boyfriend and a ghost from my past appears to be whipping him away from under my nose. Even Charlie seemed to be in awe of her. I got up to go to the cloakroom off the hallway.

  ‘Not his type,’ said Alisha, appearing behind me just as I opened the cloakroom door.

  ‘Not whose?’

  ‘JJ’s,’ she said. ‘Don’t worry. He’s done nothing but talk about you these last few days.’r />
  ‘Really?’ I asked. ‘Because he’s hardly glanced at me this evening.’

  ‘Yes he has! Are you blind? He’s been staring at you all night.’

  ‘Keira’s stunning though. He’s bound to find her attractive.’

  ‘Nah. We’ve had it drilled into us by Mom and Dad to make new guests welcome. Doesn’t mean we like ‘em.’

  ‘You don’t like her?’

  ‘I don’t. She’s the type of person who wants to be here because my dad’s Jefferson Lewis not because I’m a mate of yours.’

  ‘How can you tell that?’

  Alisha tapped her nose. ‘Seen it before. She’s a user. But hey you, let’s not let it bring us down. Let’s go and finish the cheesecake.’

  She linked my arm and pulled me back into the battleground.

  Later than night, I went to check my Facebook messages. There were two. I opened the first which was from JJ.

  I was hoping we’d get some time alone but as you saw, it wasn’t possible. Such is my life, our family life. There are always a million people around. Always are before we go anywhere. Mom goes into a panic and starts organising everyone. When I’m back I’d still like to take you out and get to know you better. I really like spending time with you. In the meantime, good luck with the competition. Knock ‘em dead. Yours JJ X

  I wrote back immediately.

  Me too. I was hoping for some time alone. Hey ho and away you go. I like spending time with you too and really look forward to seeing you when you’re back. Jess XX.

  I read it back. No, I decided. Too gushy. I have to stay cool with him and not let him realise just how much I really do like him. That much, I’ve learnt from Tom. Boys like the chase.

  I deleted my first message and instead wrote back wishing him a good trip and saying I’d see him when he was back. Uber cool and non-committal. I put one X after my name.