by C. D. Gorri
“No, I don’t understand what you mean,” she began.
He paused a moment as the idea started to take shape in his mind and it dawned on him, she really didn’t know. But it was so obvious now? How could she not know?
“Why do you think your father sends you to do what should be his job or his heir’s?”
She sat up straight in his seat and he gritted his teeth. He should not have said that. Now she was pissed.
“It’s been my job, helping the Skulk that is, for a long time. It is an honor. It’s just always been that way since I was eighteen,” she whispered.
“Since your first heat? Since you’ve become a woman in the Skulk, correct? And what have you sacrificed for it?”
“You’re wrong, Bowie. You don’t understand,” she sat straight in the truck, her green eyes looking out the windshield instead of at him.
Fuck, he hated that he’d set her nerves on edge. He could sense her growing anxiety and he wanted to set her at ease, but she needed to know. She had a right to know.
“No, I understand just fine. Roxanne, you’re a very dominant Fox.”
“I’m just good at what I do, Bowie. An Ice Queen, remember?”
“No. You are not cold, remember that kiss in my living room. How could I share a kiss like that with an Ice Queen? That’s just bullshit, Roxie. No matter what your Skulk might have led you to believe, that’s not why you get shit done.”
“What do you mean?” Her voice was shaky as she looked up at him.
“You are an Alpha, Roxanne Winters.”
“No,” she recoiled, “my brother is the next in line. He is all set to inherit the Skulk. He’s got the Alpha gene,” she said eyes wide, “I’m just bossy-”
“Bossy? Come on, Roxie.”
“I turn men off. No one in my Skulk will come near me. Look, I wanted your help with my little problem, but I didn’t ask you to analyze me. I know where I fit in my family. I am just the Alpha’s daughter and the next Alpha’s sister. I’m the Ice Queen, dammit, that’s all!”
“That’s not you. That’s what they wanted you to think. I don’t pretend to understand all the politics of Skulks and Clans, but you and I both know you are extremely dominant and powerful. That’s why you’re here doing an Alpha’s job.”
He could see the wheels turning in that gorgeous head of hers and only hoped he hadn’t fucked up all his chances. He might not be the man she deserved, but he was damn well going to make sure she understood there wasn’t a thing wrong with her. Not one fucking thing.
“And why are you here, Bowie? If you are an Alpha too, why aren’t you leading the Polar Bears in Alaska? Why come all the way here?”
Her eyes flashed with her Fox. She was panting and angry. her scent stronger with her mixed emotions. God, she was still hot. But he hated that he hurt her. He tried to calm his Bear. He wanted to be honest with her. She should know the truth about him. All of it. Especially if she was going to let him take her virginity.
“Once upon a time a woman in a small Alaska town went for a walk late at night. She was told it wasn’t safe by her elders. Though she could not Change, she knew about Shifters and understood the risks when one of theirs went rogue. Still, she didn’t listen, she went for her walk.”
“Oh Bowie, you don’t have to-”
“Yes, I do. Just let me tell you then you can decide for yourself if you still want me to do what you asked,” his voice cracked, but he pressed on.
“There had been rumors of a mad, rogue in their midst, but the elders thought he’d been chased out. What they didn’t know was he’d returned. Under the pull of the full moon his madness grew, he came upon the girl and raped her against her will. Afterwards he was hunted down and skinned, an order from the Alpha who was not man enough to do the job himself. She became pregnant and was forced to bear the child as Shifters were too few and the possibility I would be a Polar Bear too promising to let go. She couldn’t take it and killed herself soon after my birth.”
“That is horrible. I am so sorry.”
“Not as sorry as the Alpha. When it became obvious, I was too strong to control I was cast aside. Always on the outside looking in, no family, no friends. The triplets are my cousins, but we hardly talked until their parents died. I’m bad news Roxanne.”
“No, you’re not Bowie. I don’t believe that.”
“You asked me why I was here, Roxie, the truth is,” he said pulling into the drive, “I have nowhere else to go.”
CHAPTER 10
The streets of Barvale were decorated like something out of a Hallmark movie. Old fashioned lampposts lined the sidewalks with brightly lit wreathes with huge, bright, red velvet bows hanging from their fronts.
Every store window was covered in tinsel and painted with fake snow and glitter. Signs boasting sales and holiday specials filled every bench and door. There was a huge, undecorated evergreen tree set up right in the middle of the town square. Roxie figured that was the tree that would be lit that Saturday night. The night of the winter solstice.
The interior of Bowie’s truck was filled with that clean ice and woodsy fresh scent of him. Delicious, she breathed him in softly so as not to draw attention to what she was doing, but the fact was she couldn’t get enough of that smell. It was quiet now between the two of them. As if the truths he’d imparted were stuck like a wall between them.
He probably thought she was angry or something after everything he’d said. After all, he’d said some pretty epic news with her. She was saddened by the way his old Clan had treated him. Wanted to cry for what had happened to his parents. It was tragic and terrible, but he was not.
She had a feeling no one had ever told him that before and she wanted to yell it from the rooftops. His father was crazed, and his mother had needed help. Clearly that Clan where he’d been born had not given them the help they needed. Instead both had died, and Bowie had been largely ignored.
How he could be so kind and sweet in spite of it all, she did not know, but she was glad. Glad, he’d proved them all wrong by becoming his own man. It was silly, but she was proud of him.
When he’d told her he suspected she was an Alpha, she’d scoffed at the idea. And yet it wasn’t entirely unbelievable. When had her brother ever been able to tell her what to do? Not even when they were kids.
Thomas Winters was known for being a flirtatious playboy and a slacker. Her brother had never mistreated her. He was just not the serious type. And yet their father had declared Tommy would be his heir at a Skulk meeting five years ago.
Roxanne remembered feeling slightly miffed by the obvious chauvinism, but she’d been expecting it since birth practically. But in all honesty, the idea that she was a natural born Alpha never entered her mind.
Sure, she was able to wave off her father’s commands easily, but she just thought it was because he never used his Alpha powers with her. Oh my! Had he been manipulating her this entire time?
Roxie frowned as she thought back to when she was a teenager. That was when she’d started to feel bad about not having a boyfriend. She’d always assumed it was because, as a curvier girl, Fox Shifters simply weren’t attracted to her.
Many of the other females in her Skulk were trim and svelte, the total opposite of Roxanne’s natural body type. Her own personal self-esteem issues had caused her to ask her father to send her to a private school, away from home. That was when he began using her serious loyal streak to get her to work for him.
Dammit! This entire time he’d been using her. She’d never gone away to school. Not even for college. She only travelled when on business and now she knew it was simply because he could not control her.
She never really had to follow his orders. She simply did so to be a good daughter. But now she understood. The chauvinistic tendencies of her father and the entire Skulk were so blown out of proportion he’d rather have her buried under a pile of work while her brother played fast and loose with anything with boobs!
No more. She closed her ey
es and counted to five. She would get the rights to run on Clan lands for her, no not hers, for her father’s Skulk this one last time. After that, they were on their own.
If Bowie could survive all that he’d been through and still get up with a smile on his face every day then she could do this. She was not going to allow her father or her brother to use her anymore. She did not have to put up with their bad tempers or insistence she work all hours of the day and night, holidays too, for the good of the Skulk.
The Skulk! Ha. She should be her father’s heir. She was a natural Alpha. Her Fox growled deep and low. The animal inside finally embracing the fact that she was more than what they told her she was.
Holy crap. She wasn’t sure how to handle it. And what’s more she knew she did not want the Skulk. She’d never felt at home there and now she knew why.
The fact that Bowie had realized her true nature made her want to stick her head in the sand. How unsexy was it that your, um, wanna-be-fuck-buddy knew you better than yourself? Did guys even like Alpha females?
Shit. Her insecurities went deeper than that and she knew it. But still, she couldn’t help but feel disappointed now because surely he wouldn’t want to, um, help her out anymore.
Unwilling to face him just yet, she did what she normally did when she was uncomfortable. Roxanne shut him out. Choosing to take in the lay out of the town instead.
Barvale certainly was beautiful. It was small and quaint, unlike the larger urban Winter Falls where she hailed from. The city could be so impersonal at times, but here she watched as people on the street stopped and chatted with one another.
Holiday shoppers with their bags and packages in their arms, walked together and smiled and laughed. Christmas carols rang out from speakers and storefronts had tables and tents set up outside with electric heaters and all sorts of goods.
Roxanne had never been the homey type. Always involved in the business and the Skulk, she’d never baked or learned to cook. She’d never decorated for the holidays herself. It wasn’t that she suddenly wanted to be Suzy Homemaker, but she wanted a life of her own.
Looking out the window of Bowie’s huge truck she saw homemade holiday scented candles, soaps, lotions, and potpourri. Arrangements of dried flowers, fresh bouquets, holiday wreathes, wooden toys, puzzles, print books and other works by local artists and artisans lined the shops.
It was all she could do not to ask him to stop so she could do a little shopping. The quiet should have been uncomfortable too, but it wasn’t. She was content contemplating all the new revelations in her life. The one thing she wished she knew was where she stood with the handsome, caring, and mysterious Bowie Atiqtalaaq. He moved her like no other. She desired him, was curious about him, and sure as hell liked kissing him. But how did he feel about her? Her stomach rumbled and she wanted to curse. Loudly.
“We’re here,” he said with a grin and pulled into a spot.
The enormous wreathe outside the Bear Claw Bakery was decorated with ornaments in the shapes of various pastries and cups of coffee. She laughed and turned to see Bowie smiling at her reaction.
“It looks pretty cool, right?”
“Yeah, it’s great.”
“Look, Roxie, about what I said-”
“You were right. About a lot of things. I just want to take things as they come, okay? I mean I understand if you’re not interested-”
“Oh, I’m still interested, but now that you know my past, I can get why you wouldn’t be,” his icy blue eyes bore into hers and her heart squeezed inside her chest.
“Bowie, nothing you told me could make me change my mind. I would like my first time to be with you,” she replied honestly, ignoring the way her belly tensed waiting for his reaction.
“Good,” his eyes glowed with his Bear and his rumbling growl caught her of guard. God, he was sexy as sin.
Heat warmed her belly as he watched her. Something about the way his eyes seemed to always be on her made her feel all hot and achy in places she’d rather not think about in public. Walking around all day in damp panties was not her idea of fun. Oh lord, and she still had her meeting with Marcus Devlin, the ruling Alpha of the Barvale Clan.
“Um, this looks great, but I think I could do with more than a pastry,” she said and blushed at the continued rumbling of her tummy.
“Oh, don’t worry, there’s more than that here,” he said gently grasping her elbow leading her into the storefront.
The place was jam packed, she wondered where they would get a seat when he took her to an empty table that sat in the corner. A sign on the side of table read “employees only” and Roxanne had the impression it was used for Clan matters more often than not.
The bakery itself had a healthy mix of normals and Shifters. Everyone seemed to be buying boxes of their favorite pastries and desserts, chatting and smiling as they did. Though she did have to admit every table was taken by men and women eating late breakfasts and early lunches. Savory meat pies and healthy salads, crispy paninis, and mouthwatering heroes sat on every plate.
The place smelled better than any food establishment she could ever recall being in. There was none of that leftover cleaning product odor that sometimes hung around cafes and diners.
No, the Bear Claw Bakery smelled like fresh yeast rolls, flaky, buttery dough, almond filling, chocolate peppermint brownies, and their special holiday sugar plum Danish. Beneath that, her Fox discovered the subtle spicy scent of savory pies.
“Sit,” Bowie murmured and pulled out her chair.
She smiled thinking he was always doing things like that. He held out chairs and opened doors for her. He made her feel special, important, and sublimely ladylike. He treated her like he cared. And didn’t that make her insides warm at the thought!
It was amazing to her that the big, gorgeous Bear even noticed a woman like her, but with each small gesture she couldn’t help but feel her heart melt a little more where he was concerned. A fact the scared the poop out of her.
“Hey Bowie!” A hugely pregnant woman waddled over and interrupted Roxanne’s train of thought.
She wore a pair of maternity jeans and an oversized blouse that emphasized her round belly. Her curly hair was in a low ponytail at her nape. She was pretty in a happily married sort of way that made Roxanne wistful. Wouldn’t she just love to have that kind of inner glow? The kind that said she was loved and wanted by someone special.
Roxie blinked as the pregnant woman put an arm around the big Polar Bear who blushed ferociously at the impromptu hug. Roxie grunted as the woman, a Bear Shifter, turned and treated her to more of the same.
“Hello sweetie! I’m Krissy Devlin, you must be our guest from Winter Falls!” She enthused.
“Yes, I’m Roxanne Winters,” Roxie said.
“Aren’t you pretty? Isn’t she pretty, Bowie? Taylor, come see this gorgeous creature Bowie’s brought us,” Krissy turned around just as a tall, strikingly handsome man came running around the side of the counter.
Must be the husband, Roxie thought. The wild-eyed man spotted his wife and said eyes seemed to glitter as he jogged over to her, picking up speed when it looked like she was going to tilt sideways.
“Oops,” Krissy laughed with both hands on her big belly as her balance seemed to leave her.
Bowie had reached out his hand too, but he did not touch the woman. It was a good thing to cause the other male snarled in his throat before his wife swatted his nose.
“Taylor, don’t growl at Bowie. You know he’s just a harmless teddy bear,” she said and nuzzled the man who wrapped his long arms around her.
“Sorry, baby. Lean on me, okay? Sorry Bowie. So, you two here for lunch?”
“Uh, yeah. Taylor, this is Roxanne, from Winter Falls,” he said by way of introduction.
“Ah, the newest brawler in town,” the man whom she now knew was Taylor Devlin, laughed and shook hands with Roxie.
She felt her face heat up and cursed her coloring for the millionth time in her life. Redheads d
id not blush prettily. It was simply a fact. She smiled tightly and silently wished the earth would open up and just swallow her whole.
“Don’t mind him, love, he’s an idiot. He’s cute as the devil, but still just a man,” Krissy squeezed her hand.
“Lacey told me you went to see Daniel earlier and I imagine you’re both hungry. Take a seat and I’ll have Nita bring you a bunch of goodies, no worries,” Krissy kissed her husband on the cheek and stepped out of his arms before waddling off behind the counter yelling for a young woman named Nita to come help her.
“Hey man, should she be walking around like that?” Bowie asked Taylor who was watching after his wife concernedly.
“You know Krissy, she won’t relax unless I threaten to tie her up,” he sighed, “I better go help her.”
“Oh, please tell her not to fuss over us,” Roxanne said anxiously.
“Don’t worry. It’s not you. My wife wouldn’t even know how to rest. We even had her pick out and train the manager who is replacing her while she is on maternity leave. Nita Jacobs, you know her?” At Bowie’s slight shake of his head Taylor grunted.
“No matter. Krissy still insists on coming in every day. Oops, there she goes trying to carry stuff again, I’ll be right back,” Taylor hurried after his wife who was hefting a tray filled with food and beverages their way.
“I could’ve carried it,” Krissy grumbled as Taylor easily lifted the heavy tray out of her hands.
“Looks like she gave you guys a bit of everything. Now, if you don’t mind, I am taking my mate home for a much-needed nap,” he said just loud enough for the Shifters in the place to hear.
Once Taylor set down the food, he turned and bent his knees, picking up his wife while he ignored her threats. She even pinched him in the arms, but he just looked at her as if the sun rose and set on her. Taylor bent his head and kissed his wife soundly until she sighed and yawned, comfortable in his arms.
“Taylor if you don’t put me down-”