A Question of Lust

by Angeline Fortin

  “I am. It will take me some time to catch up on all the books I’ve missed these last years,” he allowed her to lead his thoughts away. “Are there any in particular I should read?”

  Long into the night, they talked of books and plays. Operas neither had yet seen. The talk was inconsequential but soothing, carrying them until sleep descended.

  Moira awoke in the predawn hours with a moan of desire prompted by the most erotic dream she’d ever had. Vin’s body molded to her own. His hands cupped her breasts as they massaged them. Moira quivered as the feelings lingered and raised her hand to soothe away the ache of her swollen breasts. But a hand was already there!

  Vin’s hard body spooned behind her. One arm curved back curved under and around her holding her tightly against him as his fingers squeezed her breast through her nightgown. He captured her swollen nipple and rolling it until Moira thought she would cry out in agony against the sweet torture of his touch. His other hand was on her hip pulling her back toward him as he ground the hot length of his erection against her body.

  Another shudder raked her as she thrust back against him in mindless desire. Scorching lips sucked and nipped on the side of her neck as he pulled up her nightgown until it was at her waist. His hand slid over her bare belly to tease at the curls before slipping between her legs to cup her trembling core. Moira gasped in surprise before a keening moan escaped her and she moved sinuously against his palm pressing a hand over each of his to keep them in place. Arching her neck to the side, she wordlessly invited further exploration by his mouth.

  She wasn’t disappointed when he took the advantage, kissing and sucking his way down to the base of her throat. Turning in his arms, Moira reached up clenching his shaggy hair in her hands. Pulling, she urged his mouth to her own and kissed him with all the love and unspent passion of a lifetime, parrying his tongue with her own as she poured out every ounce of feeling inside her.

  Vin turned her farther onto her back and lifted himself over her still kissing her as if he were a man dying of thirst. Nudging her thighs apart with his knee, he settled between her legs thrusting his hips against her. A strangled moan escaped him and Moira felt his arms tremble. With a shuddering intake of breath, he pushed her thighs wider, running a hand up under her bottom before he pressed against her once more with the same result. She could hear him panting now. Each breath labored but hers were as well. She wanted him. Wanted him inside her in all the ways she had ever imagined and silently cursed the barrier of his trousers between them.

  Moira slid her hands up under his shirt, caressing his chest and kneading the muscles there, glorying as his trembling increased an outward sign of his increasing passions. Loving his reactions, she continued to move her hands touching him everywhere she could reach; his back, roaming over his tight buttocks and around to cup his erection. Even through his trousers, she could feel the scorching heat of his manhood. He let out a loud groan encouraging her to slip her hand into the loose waistband and wrap her fingers around his thick length.

  With a strangled cry, Vin reared and Moira felt a rush of hot liquid cover her hand. He groaned again, choking on what sounded suspiciously like a sob as he thrust helplessly once more and tensed over her. Panting heavily with sweat dripping from his brow, he stilled and didn’t move for so long that Moira froze herself uncertain how to continue. Vin began cursing then, a long string of expletives that brought a blush to Moira’s cheeks.

  Pushing himself up on his forearms, Vin briefly rested his sweaty forehead against her shoulder as if he could not look her in the eye. Moira could feel him shaking his head, as if denying the moment would make it go away.

  There were a million things he could say, should say, to excuse himself, to explain what had just happened but never had he experienced such a humiliating moment. Not since he was a young lad anyway. “Fook me,” Vin swore and pushed himself off her, off the bed knowing all the while he was leaving her confused and probably unsatisfied. There was nothing for it though. He could not stay now even though his body was already stirring, ready for another go round. It was but another in a long list of his humiliations Moira had born witness to of late.

  “Vin?” she whispered into the room.

  Vin turned back at the door to see her sitting up in the bed her auburn locks tangled around her shoulders looking sweet, warm and desirable as any woman he had ever seen. Her eyes were luminous in the early morning light. Every part of him cried out to go back to the bed and finish what he had started.

  “Shit,” he swore softly and disappeared out the door.

  Chapter 20

  Life is a long lesson in humility.

  James M. Barrie

  That same afternoon

  In Old Town Edinburgh

  “I appreciate you joining me, Jamie,” Vin said to his brother as they both tossed back another drink.

  “Not at all,” Jamie shook his head. “Should have thought of it myself. Frankly, I’m surprised I didn’t. What with so many of the lads married now, there’s nary a bachelor house to be had. Certainly no opportunities for a man to truly enjoy himself.”

  Exactly what Vin was determined to do. Enjoy himself.

  Finally, he would sate this ridiculous lust that had been plaguing him since his return. And he would sate it on the right sort of woman. A woman who expected such behavior from a man. Slamming another whiskey glass down on the table, Vin felt that flush of humiliation that plagued him since morning creep up his neck once more. Never had he been so mortified.

  He would have thought those moments with Moira the previous night when he learned she knew of his nightmares or had seen his back would be the worst. They were nothing compared to the degradation of that morning when he’d spent himself in her hand like a trembling youth. What had he been thinking even being there? Despite his best intentions and stern self-lecture on comportment, he awoke with her in his arms and been unable to do anything besides comply with the most base urges of his body. By God, but she felt good. Warm and passionate. Straining against him as if she’d felt that same lust and want.

  Then her slim little hand had slipped around his member and he had burst at the simple touch.

  They might have joked about the length of his abstinence and Vin knew those years were to blame, but he could not face her now. Not only because of his embarrassing episode but because he knew he would have happily plunged deeply within her body, taken her within moments if it hadn’t happened. Moira had been aroused, he knew. He hadn’t forgotten that much in all these years. He knew what he was about. But he had aroused her while she slept, forced her into an erotic web without her knowledge or consent. Never had he felt such guilt.

  The worst part was he wanted her still. Vin wanted nothing more than to return to Carlton Terrace and seduce Moira into submission so that he might have his fill of her. Despite this morning’s episode or perhaps because of it, he felt as if he had only gotten the merest taste of the feast Moira represented.

  He wanted more.

  However, he doubted Moira would ever speak to him again.

  Moreover, because of that, he’d most likely ruined their friendship.

  He couldn’t go back to find out, not with this lust still riding high. Instead, Vin went this morning first to Richard’s to find out where Jamie was living and then to Jamie’s suite of rooms at the Royal Edinburgh Hotel. He’d waited impatiently the better part of the morning for his brother to return from where ever he had spent the night.

  Thankfully it had taken little hinting before Jamie genially suggested they spend the afternoon at a favored gaming house he frequented where they might take in a bit of food, cards and whatever else appealed to them. That last had been added with a wink that left Vin feeling vaguely foolish, a feeling he was beginning to resent when in the company of his younger brothers but the intervening hours of entertainment soothed his irritation.

  The establishment to which Jamie brought him was upper tier and very discreetly placed in a nicer section of O
ld Town not far from Edinburgh Castle. It was a far cry from the last brothel he visited in Burma with Richard and Jason. The women were all beautiful, lavishly dressed and flirtatious though neither Jamie or he had yet partaken of that particular offering of the establishment. They ate, played cards and drank steadily through the afternoon while they contemplated the offerings at their leisure.

  In truth, now that he was there and the end was close at hand, Vin felt no particular need to rush into bed with the first woman he saw. His untimely explosion that morning had taken the edge off allowing him the restraint to be choosy. He’d wait for one who roused his desires as easily and powerfully as Moira had.

  “I’m sure you’ve noticed the changes in our brothers since you’ve returned, Vin,” James continued as they both refilled their glasses once more. “Never seen so many men brought low by a woman, but that’s what marriage will serve you when it’s not dishing out other troubles.” Like Vin, Jamie had taken a distaste to marriage after having a front row view to Francis’ catastrophic first marriage. Despite the recent rash of marriages among their brothers, it seemed Jamie was as determined to avoid that institution as Vin, confining his attentions to the unavailable or experienced so he might avoid the parson’s noose.

  He’d never wanted to marry. Even as much as Vin wanted Moira, liked her body and her company, marriage, even to her, would be a dismal mistake. He’d seen how badly it could go wrong. When the shine was off and discontent set in, that was where failure found its roots. His brother might argue of love, faith and other such drivel, but their marriages were still young. In time, they would come to see the error of their ways.

  Putting himself in the position Francis had been in five years before was something Vin would never stand for. He would never forget the moment when the truth had been revealed to him. It still left a sour taste in his mouth to recall Vanessa’s flagrant seduction, her cruel words condemning Francis and their marriage as worthless. Even though he had denied her, Vin still felt betrayal for his brother just having been subject to those moments.

  Still…

  “They seem happy enough now,” Vin remarked eying the plentiful cleavage of the lass who brought them another bottle of whiskey thoughtfully.

  “Lead about by the cock is more like it,” James snorted. “Glad you’re back though so we can get out more often. The younger lads are a wee bit too willing to go lowbrow for my taste. Need someone more cultured, what? I haven’t been able to get any of the others out in a long while. Not that Francis was much of a womanizer after his divorce, but at least I could always rely on Haddington to join me.”

  Shrugging, Vin swallowed another mouthful of the whiskey, thinking at least Jamie had it right regarding the importance of visiting a quality establishment where one was served a higher standard in all its goods. “Moira said everyone had changed, some more than others.”

  “Aye,” James nodded thoughtfully. “Well, Moira has changed much as well. We hadn’t seen much of her in the years before she came to live with Francis and Eve, but she’s a good egg. Smart, funny…fair lovely. I thought for a bit last year that she might make a match of it with Haddington before Kitty came to town.”

  “Jack?” Vin’s rose in surprise as he shook his head. “Surely not. He’s known her since she was a child. He thinks of her as a sister. We all do.”

  James choked on his drink with a snort and a laugh. “Bugger me, Vin! How can you look at a lass like that and see a sister? Lord knows, I don’t.”

  Vin’s brows drew together as he glared at his brother. Jamie didn’t notice however. He was leering in a manner that was most unbrotherly. “Jamie…” Vin’s voice held an edge of warning.

  “Och, Vin,” James chuckled through a most lascivious look. “Truly? Can you look at her and not wonder what’s under all those layers of clothing? She’s a gorgeous armful I’d wager…”

  “Cease,” Vin ground out and leveled his brother a deadly glare. It mattered not that those same thoughts had been plaguing him since the very moment of his return. He couldn’t stand the thought of another thinking about Moira in such a manner, even Jamie. He told himself it was because he felt himself her protector taking the place of her own brother, but Vin knew better now. He wanted her himself. Wanted that ‘gorgeous armful’ in his embrace. The realization incinerated him with self-flagellating guilt, so wrong did he know his thoughts to be. Moira needed him to be the brother she had lost. She would hate him if she knew such thoughts plagued him.

  James gave him an assessing glance and dismissive shrug before turning the topic. “Do you see nothing that appeals to here then?” His attention turned to a pretty brunette he’d been eying through the afternoon. When James spotted the young woman across the room, he gave her a come-hither waggle of his finger.

  “According to Fiona, you’ve got a widow on the line these days, Jamie,” Vin commented as the courtesan wandered over bringing a redhead with her.

  “I do,” James confirmed idly patting his knee invitingly as the girls approached. “That’s where I was last night, in fact. Come now, Vin. Surely, you don’t expect fidelity? I can assure you my bonny Mrs. Ross does not.” He turned his attention to the pretty pair before them who were whispering and giggling behind their fans. Their eyes flashed with interest as they took in Vin seated across from his brother. While Vin lacked his formerly robust size, neither lady seemed to find him lacking in comparison to Jamie’s brawn since their giggling only increased as they stopped. The brunette dropped into Jamie’s lap while Jamie introduced them.

  “Vin, this very lovely lady is Janice.” James bounced the lass on his knee as he lifted her hand to his lips with a roguish smile while she blushed and giggled some more. “And this…” he took the other woman’s hand and repeated the gesture, “is the ever enchanting Bess. Ladies, may I introduce my brother, Lord Clarendon.”

  Vin greeted the girls with a more sedate nod. “My pleasure.”

  Bess shared a look with her friend and rotated so she could drop into Vin’s lap. As she draped her arms around his neck, Bess looked up at him batting her eyelashes and casting an alluring smile on him. “So you’re Jamie’s brother, hmm?” She squeezed his arm and pressed her breasts against his side while her friend did the same to Jamie. Vin saw the solution to his frustrations fall ever so neatly into place without making a conscience choice. Through the course of his usual seductions, Jamie unwittingly provided Vin what he so desperately needed.

  Summoning a lazy grin, he ran a hand down the woman’s gloved arm nudging his thumb into the opening at her wrist to circle the tender flesh there gaining a dimpled smile from Bess. “I’ve heard rumor this week, Lord Clarendon,” she whispered leaning even closer. “That you’ve been held hostage by ruffians in Egypt these past many years.”

  Vin cast a dark glance at Jamie who was too involved with his lass to notice. “That is true.”

  Unaware of his disgruntlement, Bess continued coyly. “I would imagine that such an awful situation would be incredibly…lonely.”

  With her fan stroking down the side of her cheek and settling on her pouty lips, the appealing Bess was delivering a clear invitation Vin knew he could not turn down. That she was a lovely redhead of medium height was a coincidence Vin knew he should avoid at all costs lest he persist in imagining another in her place, but he knew what he needed. Knew what must be done so he might drive the woman who haunted his dreams and drove his desires from his mind.

  “That would also be true,” he allowed in a husky voice.

  Her eyes flared as if she were incredibly satisfied by his answer. “I just couldn’t consider myself a patriotic Scot if I allowed one of our national heroes to be so lonely after such a sacrifice was made for our country.”

  Here was the moment. Bess was his if he wanted her and while she wasn’t exactly what his body was longing for, she was very beautiful and Vin needed release above all things. “Perhaps we should remove ourselves to a more private location then?”

  “
I have a nice little room just upstairs if you’d like to follow me, my lord!” she tapped him on the shoulder with her fan.

  “I’m sure you do.”

  The woman was determined to do her patriotic duty with gusto, Vin quickly found out. After following her upstairs, he entered her room only to have her shutting the door behind him and locking it with a wicked smile. She turned him pressing his back to the door before she dropped to her knees in front of him and went to work unfastening the front of his trousers. “Err, miss…”

  “Bess, my lord.” She glanced up at him, her eyes agleam with devilish intent.

  “Aye, Bess,” he cleared his throat as she nudged his clothing aside with an unseemly haste. “Wouldn’t you prefer to…err, warm things up a bit first? Perhaps a little….ah, Good Lord!” he gasped as she closed her lips around his hesitant arousal.

  She worked on him fervently, running her hands up his thighs and around his buttocks even as she gasped and moaned as if the pleasure were her own. Her cries brought images of another redhead to his mind and he saw Moira throwing back her head as she writhed beneath him gasping in pleasure as their bodies met. Her face flashed before his eyes again and again as she thrashed and moaned and cried out in ecstasy. He wanted to take her to those heights, wanted to be with her when he reached them with her.

  “Argh!” Vin jerked himself away from Bess’s nimble tongue and talented mouth, rolling away from her with a hoarse cry of agony. It wouldn’t have taken much more for him to find relief, but would it be because of Bess or the visions in his mind? Once upon a time, it wouldn’t have mattered but now somehow it did. “Bess,” he gasped for breath, refastening his trousers hastily. “I fear I forgot I had promised my sister I would attend her at tea this afternoon.”