The Question Is

by Kenna Shaw Reed

  Oh, heaven have mercy, she was horny again. Sienna’s fingers gently teased the front lace of her panties, so tantalizingly to delving between her folds again, Grace could barely concentrate on their conversation. “In this future of yours with children – who would be the father?”

  Instantly, Grace imagined Seth, his hard cock inside her, filling her, making her babies. Only one man could ever be the father of her children, it had to be him.

  Sienna pulled her fingers away, “I knew it.”

  “Babe, stop it. I’ve wanted children since primary school. I’ve never hidden my feelings about that and I never hid how much I want to get married and shout to the world how much I love you.”

  “Answer the question. Who is going to be the father of these children you want?”

  Grace wanted to say something, anything to break the silence.

  “We can decide that later.”

  “Oh, I think we need to decide now – who will be the father and how did you want to conceive these babies you so desperately have to have. Will I be there in a doctor’s surgery or do you want me to watch you conceive the old-fashioned way?”

  Damn it, she was trying her best not to want both of them, imagine both of them.

  “Sienna, please – do you want to marry me?”

  “Only if the alternative is losing you.” Sienna grabbed her bag and keys, leaving before Grace could react.

  Did Sienna really say the only reason she would ever marry her would be the ultimate compromise and one she could hold over Grace forever.

  Standing in her black lace bra and panties, alone again, Grace felt the weight of her choices build until she could no longer stand. Curled up on the kitchen floor, she sobbed. Never before had anything challenged their relationship. Now their differences became magnified within the shadow of Seth.

  Grace didn’t know if they would survive.

  Seth

  Life was, is and forever would be bloody fantastic!

  Every footstep he took was lighter, his smile broader and more readily given. His running mates had trouble keeping up with his new-found pace. Even his teenage charges noticed that Seth was, well, happier.

  Still living with him, Darby was the first to call him on it, “Have you spoken to her today?”

  “Who?”

  “You know, she comes, you two hang out, she leaves. Have you spoken to her?”

  “No, she only left a couple of days ago. My office is dealing with all the paperwork.”

  “That’s not what I meant and you know it. When are you going to call her?”

  “It’s not that simple when I don’t have a reason to call.”

  “You’re an idiot,” the harsh words softened by the teasing shake of the head as Darby left for school.

  Joe wasn’t as subtle as he collapsed at the end of their jog.

  “You … have to find … a better way … of getting rid of … your frustrations,” he gasped, gulping water from his bottle.

  Seth lay down on the dewy grass, enjoying the billowing clouds gathering and disbursing overhead. “You just need to get fitter.”

  “Are you ever going to tell me what happened?”

  “Didn’t Jo fill you in? She dropped her off at the motel.”

  “That was weeks ago – how many times have you seen her since then?”

  “A couple,” the broad smile as he remembered lying with her. Would she ever lie like that with him outside, he imagined looking up at her, silhouetted by the sun?

  “And …”

  “Nothing – she has her life in the city and my business is here.”

  “And …”

  “You’ve got the energy to talk,” Seth jumped up, “How about you put the energy to better use.” He took off for another run, leaving his friend behind.

  Jogging, boxing, working, all distractions but no use. Every part of him thought about her, missed her and wanted only Grace. Going over the way she looked at him and each word – searching for a sign that deep down in places she didn’t want to admit – she felt the same.

  When he awoke, hope filled him. Remembering when they woke together, how she squinted until fully awake. The looks over coffee as they worked together in complete harmony.

  Then he would realize that at the same time he lay thinking about her, she was probably lying naked next to her girlfriend. That instead of him, another long leg curled around Grace and hands waking her …

  The only way to silence his jealous thoughts was to stay active. Running in the morning, working crazy hours and filling in for as many of the small sided soccer teams in the summer evening competition as he could and dragging Darby into the gym for a boxing session.

  By not thinking about what she was doing now and who with, he relished remembering how amazing they were together and dared to hope she felt the same.

  “Mate, you have to let her go,” Joe tried to reason.

  “I can’t.”

  “She left you once and has done it again. Wake up to yourself.”

  “You don’t know her like I do. If she was completely happy with Sienna, she would never have spent the night here with me. Grace doesn’t cheat – she is honest and loyal and I’m sure this has been killing her inside.”

  “So, your honest and loyal ex-girlfriend cheated on her new girlfriend with you and is now cheating on you with her girlfriend.”

  “Shut up and run,” he needed to find another running partner. One that didn’t know him so well.

  Each morning he sent her a text, “Morning beautiful, have an amazing day.” Sometimes she responded straight away, other times it would take her an hour or so. His way of keeping in touch – if she wanted him to stop she could always ask. Until then, he lived with hope.

  Grace

  “Come home, please. I love you.” Three texts all saying much the same thing. One hour and still no response.

  Grace wrapped herself in an old dark blue woolen cardigan. Sienna hated it, thought it was something better donated to the cat shelter as a blanket. Now it became a standard joke, Sienna would throw it in the donation bag and Grace would make a huge deal of rescuing it.

  Now, the idea of getting dressed seemed like giving up. The black lace lingerie reminded her of Sienna and gave her hope that they could go back to how they were. The cardigan, reminded her of sitting on the football field watching Seth. They would arrive early for warm up, and he’d wrap her in the cardigan, hand her a thermos of hot chocolate and kiss her before joining his team.

  Two loves, both difficult to ignore.

  Before putting her phone away, she saw the message thread with Seth. Every morning, the same way of bringing a smile to her face. Making her feel the luckiest woman alive. Most people went their whole lives not feeling as cherished and wanted as she did right now.

  Both loved her, and in different ways she loved them too.

  Damn it!

  The crumpled photo mocked her until she tore it into shreds. The last tear divided her face from Seth’s.

  So confusing, life was so confusing. Life was easier before she ignored Sienna and went home for the reunion. Until then, she convinced herself she was happy with life and Sienna.

  Convinced, not actually happy, Grace admitted to herself. Ever since marriage equality became legalized, marriage stopped being something to fight for but something to fight about.

  Now, Sienna added another complication. Grace always assumed that Sienna would carry their children and they would either use an anonymous donor or ask a friend.

  Who would be the father – in truth, Grace never thought about the baby daddy. In her heart, Grace could only think of the man whose qualities her children would inherit.

  Only one possible man to be the father for her children – and that was the man she had always loved.

  She snuggled the cardigan around her and made a cup of hot white tea, with heaps of sugar.

  Go to Part 3: The answer is …

  Part 3: The answer is …

  Grace />
  Company reporting season – or as Grace liked to consider it – hunger games in the corporate world. The time when the media and shareholders united to ask tough questions and executives expected to be as comfortable about discussing strategic direction and international expansion as they were about dealing with the low stock of a particular item in one of their many stores.

  In the three weeks since coming home, her career had taken off. Previously, she was the unknown office support. Now, every junior partner demanded she work with their clients to prepare them for the shareholder meetings.

  “This is a lot of responsibility and we are trusting you,” Andrew Dimkin told her, “You’ll have a couple of days to get up to speed before you go on the road. I need you to accompany me or my executives, follow the conversations on the floor of the shareholder meetings.”

  “Yes, Mr Dimkin,” the fear of failure only outweighed the exhilaration of being trusted.

  The run sheet provided by his office listed all her other tasks. In her “spare time”, working with her new team to monitor other company meetings for common themes and feed the data to communications teams to put a public spin on it for the executives.

  Ahhhhh! Everything needed to happen in real time – any delays or momentary lapses in concentration or data connection would be punished on the stock exchange.

  Oh, and she needed to continue monitoring the company and their competitors price fluctuations adjusted for media commentary and exchange rate variations.

  “Brisbane, Z-corp. Tickets booked. Email to follow.”

  “Grace,” her assistant rang, “Mr Dimkin wants you in …”

  “Brisbane, I just got the text.”

  “You good to go?”

  “I guess so, I’m running out of clothes.”

  “You’ll be in Brisbane for three days, get the hotel laundry service to refresh all your clothes. I heard they may send you straight to Perth!”

  “How much longer?”

  “Mr Dimkin trusts you. He wants you to support whichever client he is worried about. This is great for you, Grace.”

  “I’m homesick.”

  “Do you want me to fly Sienna to Brisbane for a cozy hook up?” giggles at the end of the phone.

  “No, I don’t have time to get distracted, but thanks for the offer,” Grace didn’t want the reality of her life to meet her on the road.

  The good part about living out of a suitcase and travelling was being able to avoid home and Sienna. She also handed Seth and his company over to one of her assistants – and could avoid him as well.

  The bad part about living out of a suitcase was how much she missed them both.

  Grace hoped that absence would make her heart grow fonder for one of them. Or at least, one of them more than the other. Instead she found herself lost without them in different ways. She missed waking up next to Sienna and listening to the soft snores, before sharing the morning coffee and gossip about the world.

  She missed board game nights with Seth and Darby, the bar-b-que outside and toasting marshmallow before crushing them in between chocolate biscuits.

  She missed eating in restaurants and being encouraged to try new dishes and new cocktails with Sienna and their friends. She missed cooking with Seth in his kitchen, tasting a dish so often they ended up eating it straight from the saucepan.

  Grace couldn’t even use sex as the defining factor. It did no good at all thinking of lying with either of them when she was jet-lagged, and sleep deprived in tiny hotel room a thousand miles away. She couldn’t even pick which one to think about while she satisfied herself. For once, her fingers were no distraction.

  Instead of being sent to Perth, her final shareholder meeting was at the Gold Coast. Grace did a walk through before Mr Dimkin arrived, ensuring all the computers were set up, the tele-prompter connected, talking notes updated for any of the American press that arrived overnight.

  By now, all the organizers were used to setting up and Grace walked them through a well practiced drill before the executives arrived.

  “We’ve got it all sorted – go back upstairs and put your feet up for an hour,” she was urged.

  “Thanks, you are all amazing – see you in half an hour or so.”

  She decided to drop into the reception desk and check for messages before going upstairs to her room.

  “There is a guy who was looking for you by name,” the receptionist said, “I have to say he is much hotter than the press types they usually send to these events.”

  “His good looks will be wasted on me,” she laughed, “I can’t wait to get home to my girlfriend.”

  The girl flashed the smile, “He’s waiting for you in the bar. Well, when you are done with him, send him my way – he is completely fuckable.”

  “You are so bad,” Grace desperately wanted to go upstairs and freshen up – an hour out of her high heels and padding around in bare feet would be a luxury. The risk of offending the press was too great. A quick five minutes and one of the sound bites that any of the support staff were allowed to give out should be enough to send him on his way.

  She smoothed her blonde hair, longer than she had worn it in a while. Travelling came without her normal hairdresser. Another reason to look forward to going back home.

  The fake smile turned real as she saw him resting against the bar, drawing something on a coaster. The receptionist was right. The guy at the bar was completely fuckable.

  Grace should know, “Seth! What are you doing here?”

  He turned, and time stood still as she resisted her instinct to run into his arms and smother him with kisses. Instead, she extended her hand and then kissed him politely on the cheek.

  “They told me a good-looking guy was looking for me, I nearly ditched you thinking you were the press looking for a scoop.”

  “Sorry to disappoint,” she closed her eyes as she felt his hand in the small of her back. “Can we get out of here or do you need to be somewhere.”

  “I was going up to my room to chill before the event,” she looked up at him through her lashes, he didn’t come here for conversation, “Want to join me?”

  “Thought you would never ask.”

  As they walked past the reception desk, Grace avoided the looks from the girls – she would have to deal with their jokes and judgement later. “Gracie – I assume you want us to hold all calls,” came the giggle as she disappeared towards the lift.

  As the doors closed, Seth pinned her against the wall, her arms held over her head, his face so close to hers. Her heart beat so loudly in anticipation of – well she had no idea but was too tired and surprised to resist whatever he planned. Instead she watched him watching her, so intently as if reading her soul.

  “Here we are,” the lift stopped. She was so shocked that he hadn’t kissed her, she fumbled for her swipe card, dropping it on the floor twice before her hands would settle enough to open the door.

  “Nice room,” small enough for Seth to do the grand tour in only a couple of paces. The bed took up the entire room with a kitchenette to the side. “Coffee.” He didn’t need to ask twice.

  “Thanks.” In moments two pod coffees were ready and he still hadn’t said why he turned up. She kicked off her heels and started rubbing her toes.

  “One of these days you’ll swap those pretty shoes for comfy ones.”

  “Not in my life time,” laughing as he lifted one to his lap. “Ahhhhh, so good,” as he massaged the pads of her feet.

  The clock on the desk counting down the seconds was the only sound.

  Grace smiled and shook her head, amazed that Seth travelled to the Gold Coast, tracked down her hotel and now content to relieve her crushed toes as they sat in silence. In what world was this normal?

  “Come on,” he gently placed her feet on the floor and helped her up. “Time for you to get back down stairs and dazzle them all.”

  “You realize I’m not on show – I’m only helping out with the financials.”

  “Sin
ce it is a financial meeting – I’d say you are the star.”

  From the moment Grace entered the ballroom, she was swarmed by people wanting her attention. From the rumor about an increase in shipping costs going around the stock exchange that needed to be addressed with worse case projections, to a red tie requiring removal from the orange shirt (that the executive insisted he had to wear), to rewriting talking notes because too many of the same journalists from yesterday had turned up again today.

  Lunch was a forced single bite from a sandwich, washed down with a mouthful of apple juice before being called into the back room to check over new data that arrived during the morning.

  Adrenaline still pumping, she was on fire, needed and valued. But after weeks on the road, the moment she left the “theatre” of each meeting she fell into bed, exhausted. Each morning finding it harder to bounce back after the long day previously. All the executive were flying out immediately after today’s event. Grace needed to close down everything and would fly back home on the first flight out in the morning.

  All week she planned to have twelve uninterrupted hours of sleep – a glorious luxury that would let her return to Sienna completely rested.

  Instead, Seth would be waiting in her room.

  Seth of the foot massage and bedroom eyes.

  Completely, fuckable, Seth.

  Who opened the door before she had time to turn the handle.

  One sympathetic look and she burst into tears and collapsed. He caught her before she fell, lifting her to the bed. Her last thoughts were of him gently stroking her back before she fell asleep.

  Awaking in the darkened room, Grace thought she dreamt of Seth arriving at the Gold Coast until she rolled over and felt the masculine leg resting next to hers. As she sat up, trying to piece together what happened, and didn’t happen, Seth opened his eyes. “Morning, sleeping beauty,” his barely coherent mumble.

  “How long was I asleep?” she leaned over him to see the clock. Four am, another three hours before her flight. Lying back down, she tried to close her eyes but aware of Seth next to her, she gave up on the idea of sleep.