Renegade

by Erica Stevens

Braith’s eyes were smoldering, his shoulders rigid. Need radiated from him, his hunger was nearly palpable within the room. He had fed recently, but the stress of their current situation was clearly wearing on him. She felt that he hadn’t even realized how hard, strenuous, and draining this would be on him.

  She couldn’t promise him that they would be safe, that they would make it through this, but she could help to ease the burning hunger throbbing from him. She reached up, pulling the collar of her shirt down, baring the fresh marks upon her skin. His eyes sparked with yearning, she could see the press of his fangs against the inside of his clamped mouth. A muscle twitched in his cheek. She didn’t jump when he slammed his hand against the wall, causing a few pots within one of the cabinets to shift and fall with a soft rattle.

  “It’s too soon. No.”

  The words were grated at her, harsh with the struggle he was waging with himself. “I can take it.”

  “You were hurt today, wounded. No.”

  He was going to fight her, she knew that. No matter how much he needed this, her safety was number one with him. And if he felt that he was going to hurt her, or that this would be a danger to her, than he was not going to do it. But she was far more stubborn then he was, and she wanted this just as badly as he needed it. She was beginning to realize that she craved him feeding from her as much as he craved her blood. Despite the brief pain the experience brought her, it also brought moments of pure, unadulterated joy. It was thrilling and wondrous to be able to sustain him with blood, her body. It was exhilarating to have him on her, in her, gaining strength from her. She may not be the only one that he could gain such nourishment from, but she was the only one that he wanted to feed from anymore, and he needed her now. If he was going to have any sort of relief, she was the only one that could give it to him.

  Her heart thumped with the excitement of that knowledge as she moved slowly toward him. “Arianna.”

  His voice was a soft plea, and though all she wanted was to give him whatever he wanted, she could not back down from this. He may not feel it was safe to feed from her right now, but he did need to. She stopped before him. He reached forward to pull her shirt up but she caught hold of his hand, resting it against her chest, on top of her heartbeat.

  “Do you feel that?” His eyes were dark, stormy as he raised his gaze to hers. She knew that he could feel it, it was impossible not to feel the fierce beat of it. “It’s yours. I am yours Braith. I’m strong, I can handle this; take what you need for me.”

  Though he was still vibrating with hunger, his eyes were also filled with awe. His fingers curled against her chest, he bent to her kissing her forehead lightly, then her cheek, and ear. “I am yours also Arianna, never doubt that.”

  “I never will,” she vowed.

  His hand curled in her hair, caressing her gently. Though his finger trailed over the old marks, he did not bite her, but simply stood over her, soothing and stroking her. He shuddered, his hard muscles rippled against her, she felt his struggle, his weakening, his hunger. He kissed her neck softly, his lips pulled slowly back. The hard press of his fangs caused her heart to lurch with excitement, need blasted through her. A low moan of pleasure escaped, her knees nearly buckled as he bit into her, joining them completely. She was clinging to him, shaking as waves of ecstasy crashed over her. No matter how awful the world around them was, this exchange, this one moment of perfect bliss, and pleasure, was worth every horror she was certain was coming their way. If it wasn’t already here.

  He pulled away from her, nuzzling her gently, licking the lingering drops of blood from her skin. He had not taken as much as he normally would have. “You need more…”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Braith, you need to stay strong. You need to take more.”

  He cradled her face gently, stroking her cheeks lightly. “It is too soon for you.”

  She swallowed heavily, trying to rid herself of the lump forming in her throat. Though the next words were going to kill her, she managed to strangle them out. “Then you must go to someone else.”

  His hands stilled on her, he lifted her face to him. She could not stop the tears that spilled down her face, could not hide the pain that such a thought caused her. It would be awful for him to turn to someone else for this, awful for her, but he needed to feed. He needed to stay strong, especially now, and she could not give him all that he needed at the moment. Maybe one day, when there wasn’t so much pressure and strain on him, she could be enough. But that was not today, and it probably wasn’t going to be anytime soon. They both needed to accept the fact that he would have to go somewhere else, to someone else, and there was nothing that either of them could do to stop it from happening.

  “That thought does not make you happy.”

  She bit her bottom lip, shaking her head at him as he wiped the tears away. “No, of course not. But I would rather you stayed strong than have you get hurt because you were hungry, or weak.”

  “I will not be either one of those things.”

  “Braith…”

  “I will find other ways Arianna. I will substitute what you cannot give me with animals.”

  “Is that the same?” she whispered.

  He smiled softly at her, kissing her nose lightly. “It may not taste as good, but it is just as nourishing. But then, nothing tastes as good as you.” She shook her head at him as he pushed her hair back. “You’re the most delicious thing I’ve ever encountered.”

  Aria shuddered; a chill ran down her spine as delight filtered through her body. “You don’t have to say that,” she breathed.

  “It’s true.” His hand was on her neck, his palm pressed over the marks upon her. His marks. “I don’t want anyone but you Arianna. The idea of it is repulsive to me, especially since I know it hurts you.”

  “I don’t want you to suffer.”

  “I will not suffer and I will not turn to someone else. You are mine Arianna, you will always be mine.” His voice rang with possessiveness, she could feel his tension spiking again. It was the first time she realized that it wasn’t just this entire situation that had him so out of sorts, but also her. It was a frightening and disconcerting realization, she didn’t know how to help him, how to ease the stress thrumming through him. “The thought of you turning to someone else makes me want to destroy this entire place. Makes me want to shred someone limb from limb. I would not inflict such hurt upon you.”

  She stared at him in surprise, disturbed by the rapid change she sensed him. Disturbed by the fact that she was a large part of the instability she sensed growing inside of him. “I would never do that,” she promised. He was dark, hard, and distant in a way that he had not been since she had first met him within the palace walls. For a moment it seemed as if he didn’t see her, as if he was trapped in the thought of her with another man. “Braith, I would never turn to someone else. You are the only one that has anything that I want.”

  He swallowed heavily, she didn’t think he was aware of the fact that his sudden instability had caused his fangs to sprout forth again. He closed his eyes for a moment, when he opened them again she was relieved to see a softening in his gaze. “I know Arianna. I know you wouldn’t.”

  “Never Braith. Never.” She hoped that her insistence would help to get through to him, but she still sensed something dark and turbulent beneath his calm outer surface. His hand was tense upon her neck, his grip almost painful. “The thought is repulsive to me Braith.”

  “I know.”

  “Then why do you seem so troubled? So angry?”

  He looked slightly startled by her observation, his gaze darted to his hand. Horror rolled through his gaze, his hand loosened on her. He shook his head, his eyes filled with a self hatred that rattled her. He pulled his hand away, taking a small step away from her. “I’m sorry Arianna; I did not mean to hurt you.”

  “You didn’t,” she assured him quickly, terrified by the strange gap she felt widening between them. A gap she didn’t understand, just
as she didn’t understand what was going on with him. She reached for his hand, grabbing it tightly in hers. “Braith you could never hurt me.”

  He did not look appeased by her words. He didn’t even look as if he believed them. “We should return.”

  “Braith, what is wrong?” she demanded, becoming frightened by the strange air that now encompassed him.

  He grabbed hold of her, pulling her against him. A small gasp of surprise escaped her. He fell to his knees before her, wrapping his arms around her waist. He clung to her as he rested his head against her stomach. “You humble me Arianna. I do not deserve you; I did nothing to earn your love, or the gift of light that your presence has brought back to my life.” Arianna was frozen, shocked at the sight of the most powerful creature she had ever known, her prince, on his knees before her, broken by the anguish pouring from him. Anguish she did not understand.

  Tears spilled from her, her chest constricted in pain. She buried her hands in his hair as a soft cry escaped her. She bowed over him, cradling him against her, trying hard not to give into the powerful sobs that wanted to escape her. He was humbled by her, he felt that he did not deserve her, and yet if it had not been for him she would still be dead and lost inside. She may well be dead if he hadn’t been there to intervene. If it wasn’t for him, she never would have known the joy of love, the wonder of things that she had never understood and never wanted to, until he walked into her life. If it wasn’t for him, she never would have learned what life was truly about, she would have lost out on so much without his love to save her.

  She slid to her knees before him, clinging to him as he enveloped her, rocking her against him, holding her, and touching her so reverently that she could barely breathe through the love swirling and building throughout her. His presence overwhelmed her; it floored her, and rocked her with its intensity and need. His hands were in her hair; his mouth was hard on hers, passionate, burning with a need that left her shaken. For the first time she realized that though he did not pressure her, did not push her toward anything, there was something else that he wanted even more than her blood.

  He also wanted her body.

  Aria shuddered, desire pooled through her. It was something that she had not been ready for, something she had not given because circumstances always seemed to separate them. But even though they were on the run, adrift in a world that provided no security, there were no barriers between them anymore. She didn’t even care that they were kneeling on a kitchen floor right now; she was so swept up in both of their needs and desires.

  He pulled away from her, shaking as he held her tight. “Arianna,” he moaned.

  “I understand. I know what you need.” But though she said the words, she wasn’t sure they were right. She knew he wanted this as badly as she did, but she wasn’t entirely certain that it would be enough. She sensed that he may need more than just her blood and her body. He already had her heart and soul; she didn’t know what else she could give him to ease the distress she sensed growing within him.

  “Arianna.” His voice was a low groan of pain and need. “You are so innocent. So sweet…”

  “I am not that sweet.”

  His smile was wan, his eyes dark and tortured. “True,” he agreed softly. She grinned at him, sensing the lightening in his mood that she had been hoping for. “There is so much you don’t know about me though. So much that you could never understand. There are things that I have done…”

  She placed her fingers over his mouth, silencing him. “Don’t Braith. You’re not going to scare me away; you are not going to drive me away. You are not your father, you are not Caleb.”

  “I am a killer.”

  “I have killed also,” she managed to choke out.

  “In self-defense. I killed for pleasure, for joy.” She tried to turn away from him; she didn’t want to hear this. She knew what he was, knew what he was capable of; she had witnessed the full force of his brutality earlier. He grabbed hold of her though, pulling her back toward him. “You need to hear this Arianna.”

  “I understand Braith; you don’t have to do this.”

  “I do, because you don’t understand.” She frowned fiercely at him, her hands clenching tight on her legs. “I never killed for pleasure, never killed for the joy of it.” She didn’t understand where he was going with this. “Until Jack took you from the palace.”

  Aria recoiled, the color drained from her face. He was right, she didn’t understand this. He had told her about the blood slaves he had taken after her escape, and though she hadn’t asked, she had assumed that he had not killed them. The Braith she knew was kind, caring, overly protective of her, and as willing to die for her as he was willing to kill for her, but he was not vicious. And this conversation was taking a turn toward cruelty that she had not expected from him.

  “And then I lost myself to the pleasure of the blood, the pleasure of sex, and the pleasure of the death.” She felt nauseous. She was going to throw up. He was a killer, she understood that. There were other women before her, she knew that, he was over nine hundred years old for crying out loud, she’d be a fool to think there hadn’t been other women, but she didn’t want to hear about them. And she didn’t want to hear about him glutting himself on them, on thriving on destroying them. He leaned closer to her, his eyes burned with a strange fire. “I did not enjoy it for long Arianna.”

  She shook her head, forcing herself not to recoil from him. She loved him but how did she assimilate the monster he was describing to the man before her. “Then why?” she managed to croak out.

  “Because I wanted to forget you and I thought that it would help.”

  She stifled a moan as she closed her eyes. Guilt stained her soul and twisted in her stomach. It was not her fault that he had done those things. He had chosen to kill, but her absence had been the catalyst that sent him spiraling over the edge. “Why are you telling me this?” she whispered.

  He sighed softly; his hand was gentle as he gripped her chin. “Because you need to know.”

  She shook her head in denial. She loved him, she truly did, but now she felt wounded and raw. He had starkly reminded her of things that she did not want to recall, reminded her of the fact that though she had no one to compare him to, there were probably hundreds, if not thousands, that he would be comparing her to. He had also harshly reminded her of the fact that he was a monster, or at least had the potential to be. He would never hurt her, but what would he do to someone else that stood in his way? What would he do if her family stood in his way?

  She knew the answer to that, and though she wanted to deny it, she knew that it would be something swift, and vicious.

  “Arianna, you need to understand what it is that I am saying to you.” She blinked, her eyes burned with tears, but she was confused as to why he kept pushing this. “I can’t lose you again Arianna; it sent me into a dark spiral. It snapped something inside of me, turned me into something evil and twisted. I upheld my promise, I did not reclaim any blood slaves after the last time I saw you. I couldn’t, the thought of them was disgusting to me. But I cannot lose you from my life again, many will not survive it.”

  Her eyes were wide, her mouth parted in disbelief. “You’re not going to,” she promised softly.

  His hands were on her face, his eyes forceful and smoldering. “Whatever this is between us, it’s something that I don’t understand, it’s something strong, intense, pure, and yet consuming. It is something wonderful and precious, but it can also turn me into something horrendous. Losing you will also drive me mad. I am one of the strongest of our kind, I am a prince, and my blood is strong, old, untainted. If I snap, if I go on a rampage, I will destroy many people before I am stopped. If I am stopped.”

  “Braith I will never leave you,” she promised.

  “You are human Arianna. As long as you stay human you will be mortal, at risk of death.”

  “Braith…”

  “I cannot take the chance of you being killed. I cannot risk that
.”

  Realization was cold and vile as it hit her with the force of a hard slap. He did want more than just her blood; he wanted more than just her body even.

  He wanted her life. He wanted the only thing she couldn’t give him right now, if ever, but seeing the stress in him now she wasn’t sure she would be able to stop him from taking it by force.

  CHAPTER 13

  Arianna was still pale, and shaken. She had not spoken since he had made his revelation to her, she had barely even moved. Every once in awhile, she would stare at him, her eyes would darken slightly, and her hands would begin to tremble in her lap once more. She was the strongest human he had ever encountered, perhaps even the strongest being he had ever come into contact with, but his confession, his openness, had rattled her completely.

  As had his intention to take her humanity from her.

  It was not something he wanted to do, not something he looked forward to doing, but it was something he had to do. Something he was going to do. He realized that now, he just hoped that eventually she would come around to be willing. He didn’t know how he would handle it if she wasn’t, didn’t know how he would handle it if she remained human for much longer. But he could not take the chance of losing her again. When he thought back to the things he had done after she left him, he was repulsed by his actions. He was shocked by the depths of his depravity, shocked by his fervent need to lose himself in blood, sex, and death in order to try and forget her. He had never experienced that ravenous hunger and brutality that had encompassed him. It had ensnared him within a web of death that had done little to ease the tortured pain residing within his soul.

  A pain that she had inflicted and only she had eased. And he had come to realize that it would only ever be her that could pull him from that dark place. A place he had entered a few times today, slaughtering and killing anyone that had posed any kind of threat to her life. She could pull him back from the brink of madness; she gave him some kind of control over himself. But it was a control that was unraveling rapidly.