The Sheikh’s American Love - A Box Set

by Holly Rayner

  “Oh, is that what it is? I see.” He suddenly started looking around, seemingly at anything but me. “Look, it’s fine. I understand. You’re right, our lives are very different.”

  “Rafiq, I’m sorry,” I said, reaching out to cover his hand that lay on the counter. “I’m not trying to hurt you, honestly. And it’s not that I don’t care…”

  As soon as my skin touched his, Rafiq pulled away as if I had shocked him. The motion was as upsetting as seeing the pain on his face.

  “I don’t need you to care, Evie. It’s fine. Hell, I’ve got a hundred other women waiting in my contact list. Why settle down, right? That’s not who I am. I’m the party boy. So I will go be the party boy and leave you to your work. I’m sorry to have interrupted your day.”

  The pain in his voice, and in his eyes, betrayed any illusion Rafiq was trying to build that he was unhurt at the rejection. Seeing him so clearly wounded and upset made me feel sick to my stomach, but I didn’t know what else to do. I’d already decided that committing to a man like Rafiq was like laying down on a railroad and crossing your fingers that the track wasn’t being used anymore; it was a risk with almost certain pain involved.

  But as I looked at him there, standing across from me in such obvious pain, that reasoning didn’t feel so flawless anymore. In fact, it had holes big enough to drive a bus through. All I wanted to do was make him feel better, and take his pain away.

  “I’ll leave you to your work,” said Rafiq, running a hand through his smooth black hair. He turned and headed out of the gallery without looking back, or saying another word to me, and there was nothing I could do to deny the hollow his absence left in my heart.

  FOURTEEN

  The rest of the night at the gallery went slowly. Despite a few conversations and even two great sales thanks to Rafiq’s earlier efforts, I was in a gloom that couldn’t be lifted by a few smiling faces. Even the money didn’t help, now that Rafiq’s series of purchases had meant I was safe in that regard. Rafiq’s departure had hurt something much deeper inside of me.

  As a storm of emotions raged inside me, I mechanically went through the motions of closing the store, counting down the day’s numbers, and turning off all the track lights except those which lit the front window through the night.

  Fury at Rafiq for his bold and public exhibition competed with the feelings I had for him deep in my heart. It wasn’t that his words had hurt me; in fact, my heart had soared to hear that he had feelings for me like I did for him. But it was the way he did it, and that he was so oblivious to his own life that he thought I would immediately believe he was ready to settle down with me.

  He was a conundrum, thoughtful and thoughtless at the same time. How did I reconcile that to my aching heart? How could I commit to a man like that?

  Lost in my thoughts, I almost wandered up to my apartment out of habit before I remembered that “home” was somewhere else right now—Rafiq’s penthouse. Dark clouds gathered in my chest. Would he even want me there now, after I publically rejected his advances?

  I couldn’t imagine that he would. He was probably embarrassed, and angry. There’s no way Rafiq would want this arrangement to continue, and it was probably for the best, anyway, that it didn’t. As much as I was going to miss having him in my life…

  I shook the thoughts out of my head. No, I couldn’t do that to myself. Rafiq didn’t belong in my life. He was a temporary, albeit exciting, diversion, and nothing more. This would end, and my life would go back to normal. I would be fine.

  The thoughts didn’t make me feel any better. Instead, I tried to focus on hailing a taxi and counting the stoplights on the drive until we arrived at Rafiq’s building.

  My nerves became hotter and hotter as the elevator ascended. A thousand scenarios ran through my mind; of Rafiq starting a fight or saying something to hurt me. Even knowing I would have to look at those broken, sad brown eyes again, filled me with heartache.

  But when the doors opened, it was into an empty, dark apartment. Rafiq wasn’t home, and hadn’t left any indication to his whereabouts as far as I could tell. As I wandered through the rooms to ensure I was alone, I checked my phone again to make sure he hadn’t texted, but there was nothing.

  Somehow, his silent absence hurt worse than if he had been here waiting to rage at me.

  As I walked around the penthouse, all the details of the furniture, lighting and artwork started to burn into my brain like I was trying to save it to remember one cloudy day. I was going to miss it, I realized, and not just because of the luxury. I wanted to remember every part of my time with Rafiq.

  It didn’t take me very long to pack the things from my room back into my overnight bags. After I was done, I sat on the end of the plush bed. Listening to the silence of the penthouse, my thoughts became too heavy to take. I thought about going into the painting room to get my frustration out, or maybe settling down in the living room in front of the enormous TV that Rafiq had hanging on the wall and just drowning my emotions out with some numbing entertainment.

  But my feet didn’t want to move me from where I was sitting. Instead, I simply kicked my shoes off and snuggled up in the plush, expensive bed of my temporary bedroom one last time.

  There was no doubt in my mind that Rafiq was out drowning the pain from my rejection with booze and other women. The realization stung my heart, as true as I knew it to be. I wanted him here in my arms, and yet, at the same time, I didn’t, because I wasn’t sure I had the guts to face him without falling apart completely.

  Tears dripped on the stark white of the pillow beneath my face.

  It didn’t seem like he would be home tonight. With my bags already packed, I could be out of here first thing in the morning, and then this insane adventure would be over. My life would go back to its own struggles, and I would once again be without Rafiq.

  My heart ached even as I fell asleep.

  FIFTEEN

  As the early hours of the morning crept over the sleeping city, the charming bing of the penthouse elevator echoed through down the hall of the silent penthouse. On the edge of sleep, I heard it and began to blink awake.

  A few moments later, the sound of unsure, stumbling footsteps clopping on the marble floor pulled me entirely out of my doze. I listened closely as I heard keys and other objects being dropped in a wooden bowl; the crinkle of paper; the heavy footsteps of Rafiq as he maneuvered around his living room in the early morning dark.

  At first, anxiety clutched my chest as I lay there quietly in the dark of the bedroom. I had hoped not to confront Rafiq again. I just wanted this to be over so both of us could go back to our lives and be out of this misery.

  But listening to him sloppily move around in the dark, no doubt drunk but thankfully alone, anger washed over my fear and sadness. The pain we were both carrying—it was all his fault.

  It didn’t have to end like this, but Rafiq had to pull his stunts, just like he had from the first day I met him, staging the exhibition for his blonde friends, making his grand gestures to get me to consider the arrangement. Everything he did was a show, a big elaborate scheme to get what he wanted and nothing more.

  The anger was too much. I whipped the sheets off my body and threw my feet to the floor. Wearing only pajama shorts and a tank top, it didn’t even occur to me to look ‘proper’ as I stalked into the living room and flipped on the lights in a sudden movement.

  Rafiq froze across the room, surprised, and caught in the glare of the lights. He turned around to face me, and the look in his eyes said he wasn’t sure what he was seeing was real.

  “Evangeline?” His voice was heavy and slow. “I didn’t think you would be here.”

  “I’m sure you didn’t,” I said, crossing my arms. “And I guess if I had any brains, I wouldn’t be.”

  Rafiq didn’t answer, but looked stricken.

  “I can’t believe you did that to me yesterday.” Just like that, the words came pouring out like the water behind a broken dam. “And in front of
my clientele, at my place of business. My life, Rafiq! Do you realize what kind of position that put me in? I might have lost customers forever if any of them walked away thinking I’m a selfish, heartless bitch who turned down a romantic proposal for no reason!”

  He didn’t interrupt me, only stared at me as I spoke, his face humble.

  “You know what? Sure, you’re charming, and you’re handsome, but you treat other people like we’re playthings, as if we were all put here for your amusement.” I took a few hard steps closer to him, gesturing wildly. “You think your fancy, dramatic gestures are more important than being a decent person, but you’re wrong. You’ve been putting on a show since the first day I met you. Well, your shows hurt people, Rafiq. They hurt.” Tears ran down my face, but I was too angry to care. “I would rather have none of this fancy pretense and instead have the real Rafiq, the one who makes things happen. The one who faces the world honestly.”

  Rafiq went pale, but still, he said nothing. The way he blinked at me, it was almost as if for once, he didn’t know what to say. I had been expecting his usual arrogant comebacks, and I didn’t know what to do with his silence.

  Maybe it was his silence that allowed me to see what I had missed before: the large, wrapped rectangle Rafiq was holding in his hands, clutched delicately against his body.

  “What…what’s that?” I asked, pointing.

  Rafiq glanced at the package in his hand before he moved around the couches and toward me. As he did, he pulled the brown paper carefully off of what I could see now was a canvas. When he turned the uncovered canvas around to face me, I gasped.

  It was me. It was a stunning painting of me, wearing the dark blue cotton dress from our lunch at the bistro a few days before. The painting style was like nothing I had ever seen before, with incredible use of color and thick, deliberate outlines used strategically to draw the viewer toward the focal point: my bright blue eyes and laughing smile.

  My eyes filled with tears. “Rafiq, I don’t understand…”

  When he spoke, his voice was humble, quiet, and soft. “I didn’t want us to part with me in your debt. You painted a portrait of me…” He nodded toward the painting, still hanging on his wall. “I wanted to give you one of you. Now we’re even.”

  My eyes widened. “Rafiq, are you telling me you painted this?”

  He hesitated. “Yes,” he said. “I used the photo from our lunch the other day as a reference, since you looked so radiant in it.” At that moment, he couldn’t help but look down and give a tiny smile at his own work. “Do you like it?”

  Stunned, I came closer to get a better look. “Rafiq, I don’t know what to say. I love it. I had no idea you had this talent,” I said. “How long have you been painting?”

  “I, uh…always,” he said bashfully. I’d never seen him look unsure of himself, but now he was shifting on his feet like a teenage boy being asked to prom. “I’ve always painted, since I was a child.”

  “What? Really?”

  “Really.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me you paint too?”

  Rafiq shrugged. “How can I compare my amateur work to yours, Evie? You’re a professional. Honestly, I was afraid you wouldn’t like it.”

  “Rafiq, you must be joking. Just look at your work, it’s incredible. Why wouldn’t I like it?”

  “I don’t know, Evie. Maybe it’s because my father never succeeded in his work, and he passed that fear of rejection onto me. Once he found out I loved to paint as a child, he put so much pressure on me to succeed in the art world that I ended up hating it, and running away from it at full speed.”

  My eyes widened in epiphany. “Running right for the party world, the opposite of what your father wanted.”

  Rafiq nodded. “Mehmet wanted to have an artist son more than anything. I loved the art, I loved the work, but like many fathers, he assumed his way was the only proper way to work. My vision began to suffocate until I couldn’t even stand to look at an easel or canvas anymore. I’m not sure he ever really forgave me for that. Sometimes I think that’s why he pushes me so hard into business, as if he wants to punish me for my cowardice.”

  “I’m sure it’s not that,” I said softly. “Your father loves you, Rafiq.”

  He shrugged, uncomfortable. “He made me give up the thing I loved the most. It’s very hard to reconcile those things.”

  “But you didn’t quit,” I said matter-of-factly with a gesture at the painting. “This is not the technique of a man who hasn’t painted since childhood. You’ve been practicing this entire time anyway, haven’t you? Even as you’ve been out partying, you’ve been painting, too.”

  Rafiq smiled and actually blushed. It was terribly endearing. “No… I didn’t quit. But I’m also not brave like you, Evie. I never had the bravery to fight for the life I really wanted to live. Instead, I just protested the one given to me like a sullen child, instead of fixing it to be what I wanted. You’re right to be angry with me. You’re twice the person I am.”

  “Rafiq,” I said sadly, shaking my head. “Don’t talk like that about yourself.”

  “No, it’s true,” he said. “And I’m not afraid to admit that anymore. I have to face the truth of what I am if I ever want to become more than what I am. You taught me that, Evie. I can’t keep running from my mistakes or the person I’ve allowed myself to become.”

  “What are you saying, Rafiq?” My heart was bursting in my chest as I listened to him speak so boldly.

  “I’m saying I want to change the way I live my life. I don’t want to hide from things anymore. I want to be like you—to face the world like you, Evie. You’ve inspired me.”

  My cheeks flushed, and I had to look away from Rafiq’s handsome, intense gaze.

  “I want you to have this,” he said, holding out the portrait to me.

  “Are you sure?” I said, taking the canvas delicately.

  “Absolutely,” he said. “It was always for you. Take it.”

  With a smile, I did, and tucked it along with the rest of my waiting possessions in the bedroom.

  When I came back out, Rafiq was waiting, watching me with his arms crossed, and the most sad, sullen look I had ever seen on his gorgeous face.

  “I know I don’t deserve this, Evie. You were right about everything you’ve said about me, and I don’t deserve it, but…would you…” he looked down shyly. “Would you consider staying with me tonight? Please? I want to feel you next to me one last time before you go forever.”

  Softly, I walked up to Rafiq and stood before him. Meeting his eyes, I nodded with a smile, and wrapped my arms around his broad, strong shoulders. At first, he tensed in surprise, as if he hadn’t expected it, but soon he was melting under my touch.

  Rafiq’s arms slid around me hungrily as I stood up on my tiptoes to kiss him. He bent down and met my lips with an aching fervor. My heart danced, finally feeling his soft lips on mine, and the way his arms enveloped me as he held me against his body.

  Rafiq pulled away from the passionate kiss with a breathless smile. “I’ve been dreaming of that.”

  “Me too,” I whispered. “By the way, I want to change my mind, too.”

  “Change your mind? About what?”

  “About your proposal, earlier today,” I said, tracing a fingertip down his firm chest. “I want to be your girlfriend, Rafiq. I really do. Is your offer still on the table?”

  Rafiq’s smile became a big, beaming thing. “Evie, do you mean that?” He cupped my jaw gently in his hand when I nodded, and gave me a loving, passionate kiss. “Of course! Nothing in the world would make me happier.”

  He pulled away to scoop me up in his arms, and I squealed in surprise and delight, wrapping my arms around his neck as he carried me to his bedroom.

  SIXTEEN

  Morning came, soft and slow, sunlight creeping across Rafiq’s room like a lazy ocean tide. Nestled against his warm skin, everything felt like a dream. His chest rose and fell in a deep rhythm under my hand. I didn’t want to
open my eyes, fearing it would all evaporate once I did.

  The night had been incredible, and passionate—more passionate than any lovemaking I had ever experienced. The feel of Rafiq’s gentle hands and hungry, aching kisses still lingered on my skin. I wanted to forget the entire world existed and simply lay here in his arms forever, nestled in his warm love.

  The shrill ringing of a cell phone erupted in the morning quiet, mercilessly reminding me that the world wasn’t going to be ignored, not today or any day.

  Rafiq inhaled deeply as he rose up into consciousness, dragged from sleep by the sound of his phone. Immediately, the arm wrapped around my shoulder pulled me closer into his body, and instead of turning for the phone, he bent his head and pressed his lips against my hair with a soft kiss.