Lessons Learned

by Earl Sewell

  Toya positioned herself so that I could rest my head on her lap. She gently stoked my hair and said, “I can’t believe you came all the way down here on public transportation. How long did it take you?”

  “Two hours or so. But trust me, the trip was well worth it,” I said.

  “Did you bring the money for my phone?” she asked.

  “I don’t know. You may have to frisk me to find it,” I said as I repositioned myself on the bed and stretched my arms above my head. Toya straddled me and I grabbed her. “Whatever happened to that sweet stuff you were talking about giving me?” I asked.

  “I got it,” Toya said. I could tell that she hadn’t brushed her teeth but at that very moment, I just didn’t care. She leaned forward to kiss me. Her lips were full and soft like pillows or clouds floating in the sky. She tugged on my bottom lip and I felt as if I’d died and gone to heaven.

  “Damn, you have a lot of money on you!”

  I don’t even know how Toya got into my pants pocket without me knowing it but she’d located the money I’d brought with me.

  “How much do have on you?” she asked.

  “About two hundred,” I said.

  “You were planning to spend two hundred dollars on me?” she asked as if I’d made her the happiest girl in the world.

  “Well—”

  “Oh, you’re so sweet, Mike,” she said and hopped off me and out of the bed.

  “I’ll need some of that to get back home,” I said, laughing nervously.

  Toya walked over to her cluttered closet and began rambling through it. I sat up in the bed and was in the process of the taking my shirt off when she said, “Oh, no. Keep your clothes on. We are going to the mall.”

  “What?” I said, completely confused and disappointed.

  “Don’t be upset. When we get back, we are going to get down. Don’t worry about that. We just need to head out to the mall so that I can pick up a few things. You do want me to look nice for you, don’t you?”

  “Yeah, I guess,” I said. But to be honest, at that moment, I just wanted to lose my virginity.

  “This will be enough money for me to do a little shopping and get my hair done once you mess it up. Come on. Get up. Get out of the bed,” she said pulling me up. “Wait up front while I change and get myself together.

  About an hour later, I was reluctantly walking down King Drive toward the 63rd Street El station. It was cold outside and I had my hands stuffed in my pockets to keep them warm. As we moved past dilapidated buildings, vacant lots of land and alleyways, we came across several men who’d set a garbage can on fire. The men were hovering around the fire to keep warm. They all seemed to know Toya and spoke as we passed them by. I got the feeling that Toya and the men had more than a casual relationship.

  “You know all of those dudes?” I asked.

  “Yeah,” Toya said. “They’re cool. There is no need to be nervous,” she said.

  “I’m not nervous. I’ve just never seen grown men standing around a burning garbage can before. Why don’t they just go in the house to say warm?”

  “Because they don’t want to, honey. Now just relax. I have to stop and talk to these other guys that are approaching us on the street. Don’t say anything. Just be quiet and let me talk.”

  I shifted my focus from the men standing around the garbage can to about six dudes who looked like gang bangers approaching us. I got nervous as hell.

  “What’s up, Toya?” asked one of the boys who looked as if life wasn’t kind to him in anyway at all. My instincts told me that he and all of the dudes he was with had been locked up before.

  “Nothing, baby. What’s going on?” she asked.

  “I just had to straighten out some business around the corner,” he said as he looked me up and down. “Who is this Carlton Banks–looking fool?”

  I couldn’t believe dude called me Carlton Banks from the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. That irritated me and I wanted to say something but I remained silent.

  “This is Keysha’s brother. You remember Keysha and her mother, Justine, don’t you, LeMar?”

  “Yeah, I remember Keysha. Simon is messing around with her mother, right?” LeMar asked, not taking his eyes off me for even an instant.

  “Yep.”

  “Well, when you see Simon, tell him I need to talk to him about something,” LeMar said and was about to move on but stopped and got in my face. “I don’t like you. You’re lucky you’re walking with Toya,” said LeMar.

  “You better get out of my—” I started.

  “Come on, Mike. Let that go. We’ve got plans that we need to keep,” said Toya who didn’t allow me to finish offering up a threat.

  “If dude got something to say, let him say it, Toya. I’ll straighten him out right quick,” said LeMar as he lifted up his coat and showed the butt of a revolver.

  “I’ll see you later, LeMar,” Toya said and pushed me in the direction of the El station. As I walked along, I began to wonder if coming down to this neighborhood was a good idea. But when Toya placed her hand in mine, and reached up to kiss me on the cheek, I completely forgot about the exchange that had just taken place.

  Toya took me to the Evergreen Plaza Shopping Center. We spent the afternoon walking in and out of stores spending the money that I’d brought with me. I really wasn’t feeling the shopping spree until Toya took me into a lingerie store.

  “Come on. We’re going to pick out something that you’d like to see me in when we get back.” Never in my life had I ever set foot in a lingerie store. There were all types of sexy underwear for women. See-through stuff, lace stuff, multi-colored thongs and an assortment of other unmentionables.

  “This is nothing like the underwear department at Penny’s,” I said as I followed Toya around.

  “No, boo. This is a specialty store. Penny’s is for old people. Do you like these?” Toya held up a pair of purple panties.

  “They look good to me,” I said grinning at her.

  “Would you like to see me in these later on today?”

  “Yeah,” I said.

  “What about these?” Toya held up a hot red thong with a matching bra.

  “Ooh,” was all I could say.

  Toya then placed the garment against her waistline. “Do you think these will look good on me?” she asked.

  “Yeah. Get both of them,” I said because I was eager to make the purchase and get back so that I could see her in them.

  Toya purchased the undergarments and several other items and then we left that store and headed to a shoe store and then to the beauty-supply shop before heading back to her place.

  By the time we’d gotten back it was dark and almost 5:00 p.m. and I had to get back. I was very disappointed that time had gotten away and that once again I’d gone through a whole lot of effort for nothing.

  “Look, Toya. I’m going to head on home,” I said as soon as we entered her apartment.

  “Now, wait a minute. Don’t rush off just yet. You haven’t even seen me try on the lingerie yet. Don’t you want to see what it looks like on my skin?” Toya was talking more seductively than she had been before.

  “Toya,” I said.

  “Shh,” she placed her index finger up to my lips. “I know you want this,” she said as she stepped into my embrace and kissed me. Those soft lips and her seductive eyes put me under a spell. I lightly caressed her back but she grabbed my arms at my wrists and placed them on her derriere, which was just as soft as her lips.

  “Now, come on back here into my room so that I can keep my promise.” She pulled me along and I followed her. “Take off your clothes,” she said. “I’m going to go into the bathroom and freshen up.” Toya turned and exited the room.

  “Ooh, yes!” I said aloud as I took off my coat, and kicked off my shoes. I was about to unbuckle my pants when I heard her front door open. I paused like a deer caught in headlights. Toya came rushing back into the room. She was still fully dressed.

  “Hurry up. Hide in the close
st,” she said.

  “Hide?” I asked, confused.

  “Just get in there,” she whispered loudly.

  “There’s too much stuff in there,” I said.

  “Just step on it! My grandmother is home early and you’re not supposed to be here. Her sight is bad but she’s not crazy,” Toya said as I stuffed myself into her closet. I scooted down as best as I could and she tossed bags of clothes on me.

  “Wait here.”

  “For how long?” I asked, but Toya had walked away and closed her bedroom door. At that moment, my cell phone began to vibrate. I pulled it out and looked at it. Jordan was calling me.

  “Damn, damn, damn!” I hissed through gritted teeth. I didn’t answer the phone because I was too afraid. I just wanted to get out of the closet and get back home. Thankfully, Toya didn’t take long.

  “Come on. She’s in her bedroom. Get your stuff, get out and call me later.” She said as I picked up my belongings. As I walked toward the front door I saw a little boy sitting in a booster seat eating a graham cracker.

  “Call me later. I promise you the next time you come over, we’re going to get down,” Toya said as she pushed me out of the door and into the hallway.

  I put on my shoes and coat and rushed out of the building. Just as I was about to exit I saw LeMar the thug and his goons. Damn, I thought to myself. I don’t want any drama with this dude because he has a gun. I don’t want my life to end over something dumb. I cautiously opened the door, swerved around LeMar and his goons who stopped talking and glared at me as I moved past them. Once I was out of their way I began running at top speed to get out of the neighborhood. The only thing on my mind at that point was getting back home as quickly as I could. Once I got on a bus. I called home to check in as well as to let Jordan know that I was on my way.

  fifteen

  KEYSHA

  Thursday, February 28th

  I wasn’t about to allow my mother to ruin the good life that I had with Jordan, Barbara and Mike. If she thought for one second that I was going to provide her with enough information to rip off my dad she had another thing coming. Justine is such a psychopath and she really needs to seek professional help. My grandmother Rubylee does as well. I just hope that she doesn’t try to look me up when she gets out of prison.

  Thankfully, my two visits to her for the month of February had come and passed. So I didn’t have to worry about another visit with her until March. I had two more visits to go before going back to court for the judge to reevaluate my situation. I was confident that he’d permanently deny visitation rights especially once he found out that she wasn’t working. By that time, I was hoping and praying that Wesley would be back so that we could do some serious catching up.

  On Thursday when I returned home from school, I noticed that Barbara’s car was sitting in the driveway.

  “I wonder why she’s home early,” I said aloud as I walked up the driveway. When I got to the door, Barbara opened it up to let me in.

  “Hey,” I said as I stepped inside.

  “Hello, Keysha. Where is Mike? He isn’t with you?” she asked.

  “No. I think he had track practice,” I said.

  “Oh, that’s right. I forgot,” she said as she shut the door and locked it behind her.

  “What are you doing home so early?”

  “I just needed a break,” Barbara said. “So today I just said ‘the heck with it.’ I’m going home to relax and take it easy. These last few weeks have been murder.”

  “I know. Life can really suck sometimes,” I said, and I placed my heavy book bag down. “I’m so sorry that you have to go through all of this drama with my mother. She’s crazy. I wish it weren’t true, but it is,” I apologized, feeling a little responsible for the added stress in Barbara’s life.

  “Honey, don’t worry about it. I’m a big girl and I can take a lot. Sometimes things may get me down but I always bounce back,” she said with a smile.

  “Can I do anything for you?” I asked.

  “No,” Barbara answered. “Is there anything that I can do for you?”

  “No. I’m good. I think I’m going to give myself a footbath though. My feet are killing me.”

  “You know. I have an even better idea. Why don’t we turn on the fireplace, give ourselves a footbath there, eat some ice cream and chat for a while? We haven’t had a good chitchat in sometime now. What do you say?” she asked.

  “Sounds like a plan to me,” I said. “I’ll go and get the footbaths,” I offered as I headed off.

  “And I’ll turn on the fireplace.”

  A short while later Barbara and I were sitting all cozy and warm with our feet submerged in warm water while eating ice cream.

  “So, what’s it like spending time with your mother?” she asked.

  “It’s okay, I guess,” I said.

  “Just okay?” Barbara was prying a little.

  “Like I said before, Justine isn’t the most stable woman in the world. She’s always making things so complicated and difficult when they don’t have to be,” I confided.

  “She’s not harming you in any way is she?”

  “No, she’s not,” I said as I took my wet feet out of the footbath and held them up in front of the warm flames. “Ooh, that feels good,” I said, laughing a little before placing my feet back in the water. “I’m in a strange emotional place with my mother.”

  “What do you mean by that?” asked Barbara.

  “It’s like I’m numb when I’m around her. I don’t have any feelings for her. Is that bad?” I asked.

  Barbara inhaled and exhaled deeply. “I kind of know what page you’re on. When my sister was strung out on drugs, there came a time when my heart grew cold toward her. I’d grown tired of her treacherous ways. I was tired of all her lies and excuses. As a result, I just couldn’t allow her to get close to me anymore.”

  “You never talk about how your sister is doing now. I never hear her call or anything.”

  “Oh, she’s okay. She calls me on my cell phone and we communicate that way,” Barbara said.

  “How did you get to the point that you learned to like or even trust her again?” I asked.

  “Prayer. And a lot of it. When she turned her life around and stuck to her guns, I gained more respect for her because I knew that what she’d gone through wasn’t easy. The life choices she made were not easy but she had to recognize that for herself. I along with my parents could’ve told her that until we were blue in the face. But that was a lesson that my sister had to learn.”

  “My mother needs to learn some lessons. That’s for sure.”

  “Honey, I think as long as we keep on breathing there will be lessons to be learned. Even at this point in my life, I’m still learning a lot,” she confessed. “One thing that I’ve recently learned is just how strong, beautiful and smart you are. After I saw the apartment that you were living in, I was so amazed that you didn’t get caught up in the traps that your mother’s lifestyle offered. You have such a strong and smart mind. Don’t ever let anyone tell you differently.”

  “Aw, thank you,” I said, feeling the warmth of the compliment.

  “Have you thought about college at all, Keysha? Next year, you’ll be a senior and I believe you’ll be taking the ACT and SAT tests soon. Am I correct?”

  “Yes. My counselor, Mr. Sanders, has mentioned it to me several times already,” I said. “I haven’t given it much thought because college just wasn’t in my original life plan. When I was living with my mom, I just knew that I was going to get a job directly after high school and take care of my own immediate needs, like a roof over my head and food in my belly.”

  “I would imagine that there are a lot of kids out there who are struggling with some of the same issues that you had.”

  “When I lived in my old neighborhood, practically everyone that I knew had some type of malfunctioning or irresponsible parent.”

  “That’s sad,” Barbara said. There was a long moment of silence betwee
n us as we listened to the wood in the fireplace crackle. “Do you know what we need right now?” Barbara asked.

  “No, what?”

  “Some relaxing music.” Barbara reached over to a nearby end table and picked up the stereo remote. She aimed it at the audio system and scrolled until she found her favorite smooth jazz station. Singer Jill Scott was singing a rendition of an old Billie Holiday song.

  “Grandmother Katie and I went to see a stage play about her life story back during the holiday,” I reminded Barbara.

  “I know. She told me that you guys had a wonderful time and that you started crying at the part when Billie got strung out on drugs.”

  “It was so sad. I’m mean, after all she’d gone through. She was raped, lived in a bad neighborhood and had to turn to prostitution to survive. Talk about heartache,” I said.

  “Yep. That’s why this song touches so many hearts. Everyone is going to know a little heartache at some point in their life,” Barbara said as she sang along. The next song that came on was by Sade.

  “You know Sade and Billie Holiday have very similar styles. Their voices are very mellowing and soothing,” I said.

  “Oh, don’t I know it. I love me some Sade,” Barbara said as she popped her fingers.

  “Yeah,” I said as I just sat back and enjoyed the mellow moment and peacefulness of being with Barbara.

  Sometimes it seems like time is moving quicker than I’d like it to because February ended and the first Saturday in March arrived. I hated being forced to put up with my visits with Justine. I just knew she was going to be on my back about getting the account information she wanted. So I decided to write down a bunch of fake information and try to talk some sense into her before she did something to mess up her life as well my brother Flip’s life. I certainly feel sorry for Flip because he’s in for a rough time dealing with Justine and Simon.

  I came downstairs Saturday morning ready to go visit Justine and get through a day of stress and mental torture.

  “Are you ready?” Jordan asked as we prepared to leave.

  “Yeah, I’m ready,” I said as I stuck an envelope with the bogus account information in my purse.