by Lori Foster
“Usually just water at bedtime, but tonight everything is so screwed up I planned to give her milk.”
“I’ll get it.”
“But—”
“No buts.”
It pleased him when she gave in, even though it also proved she was off-kilter in a big way. Otherwise it never would have happened.
At least he was staying, Noel thought. He’d count that as a win.
He got Amber into the bedroom, started to go...and June saw him. She locked eyes with him, smiled and lifted her arms in demand.
Best-laid plans...
* * *
KNOWING HOW NOEL FELT, and knowing she couldn’t take having him partially involved but not fully committed, Amber rushed around in front of him.
“You little stinker,” she said to June and lifted her.
June pushed away from her unexpectedly, and in her rush to hold on to the baby, Amber almost lost her towel. It took some fast maneuvering to set the baby back down and grab it in time.
She was pretty sure Noel got a flash of her backside. Not the first time, but it was the first in a situation like this.
She absolutely would not make eye contact with him.
June stepped back, her expression pugnacious, and reached for Noel again.
“She’s fine,” Amber said, securing the towel the best she could. Finally she glanced at Noel. “Just go on and I’ll get dressed and then bring her in.”
Looking appalled, especially with the way June stared at him, Noel nodded. “Okay, sure.”
Amber watched his antics, how he began to back up, step by slow step.
When he had only one foot out the door, June bellowed. For such a tiny little girl, she really had a big voice.
Noel stopped dead in his tracks.
Appeased, June fell silent, but again held up her arms.
Huh, Amber thought. She took in Noel’s stricken expression, trying to align it with his self-professed aversion to children. She lifted a brow. “I won’t get dressed until you’re out of here.”
“I’ve seen you naked—”
“Shh!” Ridiculously, her face flamed. “Don’t talk about that in front her.”
He snorted, but said without total conviction, “She’s a baby. She doesn’t understand.”
“Well, I do.” Amber pointed for the door. “Just go.”
The second he moved, June’s bottom lip trembled and she wound herself up, preparing for a real explosion.
“She won’t let me.”
Amber rolled her eyes. “As you just pointed out, she’s a baby. She can’t stop you.”
Yet the second he shifted away, June wailed again.
Half in, half out of the door, Noel scowled, waffled a moment in pained indecision, then strode forward with purpose.
June bounced in excitement and held up her arms. “Baba ba babba ba.”
“Well,” Amber said, watching the careful way he lifted the baby. “She knows what she wants.”
And, she thought, maybe Noel didn’t know what he wanted. Not really.
She watched Noel hold June out the length of his long arms, which made all those impressive muscles flex. It was an awkward hold, yet June didn’t seem to mind. She pumped her legs and laughed.
What was it about a man and baby? The sight of them together led a hardwired charge straight to a woman’s heart.
“What do I do with her?”
He already held the baby, and no way could she remove that image from her memory banks. It was something she’d see even in her sleep.
Darn it, after what he’d said, she’d wanted to keep a physical separation there. She didn’t want to see him holding the baby. Witnessing it was bound to be a detriment to her emotional well-being.
Well, she could at least keep the contact brief. With that uppermost in mind, Amber steered him toward the door. “Give me three minutes to throw on clothes.”
Stiff-armed, he nodded. “Okay.” Keeping June straight out in front of him like a nautical figurehead on a human ship, he left the room.
Amber closed the door and collapsed back against it, but not for long. If she stopped moving, she started thinking, and that led to a loss of control.
It was bad enough that she’d lingered in the shower, giving in to the useless tears. With new purpose, she hurried to her dresser.
Haste got her back out of the room in under two minutes. Wearing flannel pants and a loose T-shirt, her hair still in a towel, she charged into the room...and found Noel sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of the playpen.
Playing peekaboo.
June stood inside, her diaper so soggy it hung to her knees, but she laughed at every face Noel made.
He’d all but filled the playpen with soft stuffed toys. June ignored them all as Noel peeked over the top rail, then under it, a game she obviously enjoyed.
That big faker.
Regardless of any contrary claims he’d made, Amber couldn’t believe Noel disliked children. He was already too concerned and too engaged.
While June laughed, he said, “We’re good if you want to dry your hair.”
Un-freaking-believable. What did he mean, messing with her head like this? “Her diaper is soaked.”
Cringing dramatically, he said, “Yeah, I noticed. But a diaper change is beyond me.”
“Did you get her bottle?”
He shrugged one hard shoulder. “No. She seemed to forget about it.”
“So let me do that first, then I’ll change her.” She hurried into the kitchen—and there on the table she found nirvana in the form of a golden grilled cheese sandwich, chips and a pickle. Her stomach grumbled loudly.
After wolfing down one big bite, Amber got the bottle together. She fetched a baby blanket and joined Noel.
The second June saw the bottle, she wanted it. “Baba ba ba.”
Amber handed it to her, spread the blanket on the floor, then scooped June out of the playpen. She laid her down—but June didn’t stay down.
Noel, she noticed, now stood across the room. “What,” Amber asked, “do you think is going to happen?”
“I don’t know.”
While she wrestled with the baby, Amber grumbled “Coward” to him. But it was all she could do not to laugh.
He chewed his upper lip, ran a hand over his face, then came down to his knees beside her.
June stopped fighting. She held the bottle with one hand, and with the other she reached out. Noel offered her a finger and she grabbed it, then turned her big blue eyes on Amber.
She still looked sleepy, poor baby.
As she finished the diaper change, Amber said, “Thanks for the sandwich.”
“You’re welcome.” He touched June’s hair. “What does she eat?”
“Just about anything now, but she’s partial to pasta.” Amber scooped her up.
June didn’t let go of Noel, so he got tugged along to the kitchen. If he wanted to leave, Amber decided, he could say so. She wouldn’t keep trying to spare him. She was many things, but a martyr wasn’t one of them.
When she pulled the high chair around, he caught on and removed the tray for her, watching closely as she got June fastened in.
They made a good team, if only he’d realize it.
“You’re good at all that,” he said. “The diaper and bottle and this.” He waved his free hand at the chair.
“I’ve always adored kids.” She’d never planned on having one prior to love and marriage, but she’d adapt.
Noel looked away. “Want me to get you something to drink?”
“June Bug has you leashed,” she said, glancing at the finger the baby gripped. “I’ll get it.” She also got food for June, which included a banana and a few pieces of the gr
illed cheese sandwich Noel had made for her.
“That’s a gross combo.”
She almost said, Get used to it, but edited that automatic reply at the last minute. Tonight could be the last she’d see Noel, at least in a domestic setting like this. Given he was a firefighter with her brother, running into him was unavoidable.
But again, she wouldn’t think about that yet.
“I’ve seen her eat peas and peanut-butter toast, macaroni and apples, mashed potatoes and pickles. She likes most everything, but the combos are weird.”
They ate in relative silence except for June’s occasional babbling and antics that made them both chuckle.
It was all Amber could do to keep her eyes open.
Soon, June had the same problem. It amazed her how the little girl could simply fade out. Noel’s finger was freed just in time for him to keep June from slumping over.
“She’s out,” Amber whispered. Without too much fuss, she cleaned June’s hands and mouth, got her from the high chair and started toward the bedroom.
Noel stopped her. “Why don’t you put her in the playpen? Then you can dry your hair without waking her.”
“I won’t be able to hear her.”
He gave her a long, level look. “I’m staying, and my ears work just fine.”
For a man who didn’t like kids, he had an odd game plan. “You’re sure about this?”
He nodded, then cleared the playpen, removing all but one stuffed animal.
After she’d settled the baby, she hastily retreated down the hall and into the bathroom, where she quietly closed the door.
This time she didn’t get sidetracked with emotion, so she finished her hair a lot quicker than she had her shower. When she returned to the room, she found Noel on the floor beside the crib, on his back with his arms folded behind his head.
He appeared to be asleep, but she wasn’t sure.
With a peek into the kitchen, she saw that he’d tidied up. The table was cleared and the high chair cleaned.
Lethargy dragged at her.
The house was so quiet. “Noel?” she whispered, but he didn’t reply.
Slumping onto the sofa, she looked at him, so tall and fit, and then her gaze moved to the baby. Blast it, she was a goner. She could tell herself a million times that she’d make the adjustment without a hitch. But it was a lie.
Getting a baby was one thing.
Losing Noel was another.
CHAPTER FOUR
ONCE IN THE middle of the night, June awoke. She didn’t fuss overly, and Noel was able to walk her around the house until she drifted off again.
But he couldn’t hold her away from him without her protesting.
Fearing she’d wake Amber, he finally drew her close to his chest. Snuggling in, the baby idly touched his jaw, sleepily exploring his face. At one point she got her tiny fingers inside the neck of his shirt, tangling them in his chest hair. When she tugged, he quickly readjusted her. Little by little, her big blue eyes went drowsy and finally closed. Trustingly, her body went limp, her head slumped over his arm.
So tiny, he thought, studying her parted lips, the teensy button nose, the long lashes and round, rosy cheeks. She was so soft and she smelled indescribably good. Carefully, Noel touched his nose to her hair.
When he thought of what she’d lost, he wanted to hold her close and promise her everything would be okay. But she had Amber, and knowing Amber as he did, he trusted that she’d somehow make it okay.
His gaze shifted to where she’d passed out on the couch. She was every bit as boneless as June Bug.
Earlier when she’d whispered his name, he’d played possum. He didn’t want to leave her and figured she wouldn’t wake him.
Yet he hadn’t slept. Instead, on every level, he’d been aware of her, the quietness of her barefoot walk, the heat of her cobalt gaze, that iron will to do what she could, the best that she could, regardless of the odds or obstructions.
He didn’t need Amber to give him the nitty-gritty details to know what had happened.
She’d been a rock.
He imagined the grief of Peggy’s parents, and without a single doubt he knew Amber had shouldered as much as she could to spare them.
She would have given comfort, but had she received any?
Amber wasn’t a woman to give in to tears...except that she had cried in the shower. Her puffy eyes proved it.
That had to mean she trusted him, and at the moment, her trust felt like an enormous gift.
At the very least, he could be here for her now to help with the transition. Tomorrow she’d have her whole family pitching in.
How would Rookie feel about a baby? Given the size of Amber’s family, he already knew that the dog loved kids, but he was used to it just being him and Amber at home.
Wondering about it, Noel gently returned June to the playpen.
Amber hadn’t stirred.
Maybe, his thoughts continued, that was where he could help out, spending more time with the dog, taking him to the park and for walks so Rookie could gradually get used to June. That’d take him away from her family’s prying eyes, and also keep him out of contact with the baby.
Curled up on her side at one end of the couch, using the armrest like a pillow, Amber had drawn her long legs close to her chest. It was a protective posture, one that showed a vulnerability she’d never share while awake.
Dark, silky hair spilled everywhere, hiding her face. Her hands utterly lax. He could hear her deep, even breathing.
The urge to stretch out next to her burned hot inside him, but lust was the last thing she wanted or needed from him, and he couldn’t hold her without wanting her. Instead he carefully placed a throw over her legs, then situated himself on the other end of the couch. He’d hear the baby if she awoke so he could get her again, giving Amber a chance to catch up on her sleep.
Wishing there was more he could do, wishing, even, that kids were in his future, he closed his eyes and tried not to think about tomorrow.
Nothing disturbed him until the knock on the door, and that jarred his eyes wide-open.
Noel realized several things at once.
June was standing in her playpen, looking at him.
The sun shone brightly through the windows.
And Amber was now tucked tightly to his side.
He lifted his head and looked toward the door. June said, “Up, up,” with demand, her arms in the air.
Sleep cleared away in a rush.
Touching Amber’s shoulder, he woke her. “Honey, you have company.”
“Mm-mmm,” she mumbled and burrowed closer.
God, that felt good. If only he’d awakened half an hour ago, he could have enjoyed it more. He kissed her forehead. “June Bug’s awake.”
At that, she lifted her head. She had one slim leg over his body, her knee resting on his crotch, and her breasts were firm against his ribs. Her hair trailed over his chest and shoulder and she blinked sleepy eyes. “What time is it?”
Scorched with sudden awareness, he croaked, “No idea.”
Groaning, she sat up and looked at him. At all of him. In minute detail. After her gaze rose to meet his, she did her own croaking. “What are you doing here?”
Nice to know she wasn’t immune, either. At least that hadn’t changed. “I stayed over.” He, too, sat up—and June repeated her demand to be held.
The knock came again.
“Oh my gosh.” Amber was off the couch in a heartbeat, then she looked around as if trying to get her bearings. “Um...”
“I’ll put on coffee,” he said, trying to be helpful.
“Yes. Coffee.” Since June wasn’t fussing, Amber went to the door and swung it open.
Garrett stood there, his hand raised to
knock. “Did I wake you?”
“I’m sorry, yeah. I overslept.”
His gaze went past her and locked on Noel as he straightened the throw on the couch.
Thinking it wise to remove himself, Noel tried to make a run to the kitchen, but June wasn’t having it. “Ma ma da.”
Garrett’s face split into a gentle smile. “Aw, she’s adorable, sis.” He hugged Amber and stepped in. “The folks are right behind me. Go do whatever you have to do and I’ll see to the baby.”
“Thanks.”
Thanks? Noel frowned at her. She’d fought him every time he’d offered, but now with her brother—
“Try to look less like you spent the night, okay?” Garrett smirked at him. “Unless you want Dad to grill you all day.”
Frowning, Noel ran both hands through his hair. “I was going to make coffee.”
June reached toward him again.
Garrett scooped her up. “Hello, squirt. Aren’t you a beauty?”
Rearing back, June studied him, looked to Noel, then back again. Her bottom lip started to quiver.
Automatically, Noel stepped forward. “She doesn’t know you.”
“And she knows you?”
“No, but...” He quickly realized Garrett didn’t need any help.
“Shh, shh. It’s okay, sweetheart.” He held June close and rocked her a little. “We’ll follow Noel, okay?” As he prodded Noel toward the kitchen, Garrett asked, “Where are the diapers? A bottle?”
Noel got those things for him, which Garrett utilized like an expert, and by the time he had the coffee going, Amber had returned.
She still looked sleep-sexy, but he tried not to notice. “Mind if I shave real quick?”
Her brows shot up. “Why would I mind?”
“Because I’ll be using your razor.”
She opened her mouth, glanced at her brother, then closed it again.
Garrett laughed.
Stepping closer and lowering her voice, Amber whispered, “Go home, Noel. You look as beat as I am and—”
He gave her a quick, firm smooch. “I told you I had the day off.” As he walked away from her, he added, “I’ll be back in five.”