Eight Reasons Why

by Jeannette Winters

  “I don’t hurt women or children,” Shaun replied.

  Yet my mother is here, and somehow I know it’s your doing. He nodded to Roger to open the door.

  Delveen, no longer in need of crutches and now in a walking boot, flew inside, and she wasn’t alone. Allyson was close behind. He shot her a questioning look as she seemed quite upset. Then he turned to his mother and said, “Mother, this isn’t a good time.”

  Delveen said, “There is no good time for what I have to say.”

  “Mother, please. Go to your room. I’ll be there shortly.” He didn’t want this conversation taking place with others around.

  “No. It is time. And maybe I can stop this foolishness.” She turned to Shaun and said, “I’m Delveen Pintino. And you are?”

  “Shaun Henderson. This is my brother-in-law, Bennett Stone.”

  Mother, what are you doing? You don’t need to meet them because we’re getting the fuck out of this room. He wanted as much distance as he could get between her and those bastards.

  “Mother, you should—”

  Delveen raised her hand. She looked at Shaun, then back to Caydan, and said, “You cannot fight each other.”

  Oh we can do a lot more than that. If he hurts you, he’ll find that out quickly. “We’re not—”

  “Please stop this feud.”

  “Mother, we are leaving tomorrow. It is over.”

  She shook her head. “No. I can’t let you leave. Not now. This is our home. It is their home too. Tabiq needs to be united. It will take all of James Henderson’s children to fix what he has done.”

  “Then let them stay and try. That has nothing to do with me,” Caydan snarled. Knowing his mother was backing the Hendersons instead of him hurt like hell.

  She walked over to him, touched his cheek, and said so softly he wasn’t sure he heard correctly, “All his children, my son.”

  Before he could say anything, Shaun snapped and said, “Are you telling us he’s—?”

  Delveen nodded. “Your half-brother.”

  Caydan felt lightheaded and thought he’d vomit. No way in hell was James his father. No fucking way. Angrily he said, “Mother, stop this crazy talk and go back to your room.”

  She shook her head. “No. Not until I tell you everything.” Tears rolled down her cheeks and Allyson walked over, handing her a tissue.

  Caydan glared at her. Did she know? Obviously, because she didn’t appear surprised at that announcement at all. Turning back to Delveen, he said, “I don’t want to know.”

  “But you must. Because it will explain everything you have been questioning all these years. Now come, let’s sit. All of us. And let me tell you a story I have kept quiet for all these years.”

  Caydan looked at Shaun, who seemed almost as shocked as he was. Yet they were in agreement, they needed to know. When they were all seated, Delveen reached out and touched Caydan’s hand. He felt her fingers trembling. He might not want to hear it, but more than that, he didn’t want his mother to have to relive that horrifying time.

  “Mother, you don’t have to tell us. I . . . believe you.” That didn’t mean he wasn’t going to have his DNA tested to confirm.

  “Just listen for once.” Delveen took a deep breath and closed her eyes, as though gathering her thoughts. When she spoke next she said, “I was eighteen when James came to Tabiq. I was working in a bakery then. He’d come in and we’d talk. He told me so many lovely stories about the world outside of Tabiq. After a few weeks, he asked me if I’d like to see it with him. I was so young and foolish, and I agreed to go. Things were pleasant back then. He took me many places and gave me anything I asked for. He even bought a house with servants. But after a few months, he no longer took me on the trips. Instead he’d only stop for short visits. I wasn’t allowed to leave or travel back home. I had no papers to prove who I was. My dream of him loving me and caring for me was over. When he found out, I . . .” she stammered, and he knew this was difficult for her say. Not so easy to hear either. “I wasn’t innocent . . . before he met me, he never came to me again.” She sniffed as she spoke. “He had told me if he ever had children, he’d take them and raise them to be just like him. So when I found I was with child, I knew I could never let him know. I hid my pregnancy from the staff as long as I could. But there was a woman there who took pity on me. She and her husband helped me. I even delivered you at their home. And when I returned to the house James had set up for me, I went alone, leaving you with them.”

  “Why didn’t you run? Why did you stay?”

  “If I would have, he’d have come and found me, found us. James didn’t want me, but he would never have let anyone else have me either.”

  Shaun said, “I don’t understand why he had you go with him. That’s not what happened with our mothers.”

  “I know. I was the first. He was looking for . . . love, I think. But when he found out he was not my first, he became violent and cruel. He called me many names and said I had deceived him. That he’d been ready to give me everything, but I had nothing to give to him in return.”

  And that’s why he turned to virgins? James was an egotistical bastard. Nothing should surprise Caydan when it came to James. James? My father? He’d never get used to the idea that he shared DNA with that man.

  “Is that why you sent me to boarding school?”

  “Yes. James Henderson was a narcissistic man. The staff protected me so he never knew I was pregnant, but otherwise, they took few risks for me. He might not have wanted me, but he never let me go either. I was given money to meet all my material needs but I needed so little. I made sure your education was covered, so I never begrudged my situation. It was also why I could only visit you for short periods of time.”

  God. I can’t do this. It’s too much.

  “The staff even helped me get a fake birth certificate. The United States was James’s home. I never wanted you to cross paths with him. So we chose Switzerland. A place I thought you might grow to love. Since you made your home there, I think I may have chosen correctly.”

  It was information overload and none of it was good. He wished this was a nightmare, but this wasn’t something he could wake up from. This hell is my life.

  “How old are you?” Shaun asked.

  “Forty-five. I’m going to turn forty-six next month. Why?”

  “Brice just turned forty-five.” Shaun cleared his throat. “This is going to be a shock for him and the others as well.”

  No one more than me. “Don’t worry. I’m not about to take his place as the oldest sibling.” Caydan got up from the couch and walked to the door. “I’m leaving tomorrow, and as far as I’m concerned, I’ll never acknowledge that bastard as my father. I want nothing to do with the Henderson name or family.” He called to his mother, “Please Mother, let’s go. I’m finished here.” Delveen got up and walked out the door he held open for her. Before leaving he turned to Allyson, who stood there quietly.

  Her lips quivered and her eyes glistened with tears. Yesterday he might have rushed to her side to console her or to seek comfort in her arms. Today, she meant nothing to him. Nothing did anymore. Bitterly he said, “I trusted you.” But never again. He walked out of Roger’s room and slammed the door.

  It wasn’t just wood closing against a door frame. He was closing the door on all that he had believed to have been true and leaving where it belonged. In the past.

  It was time for him to go back to the only home he knew. Switzerland. There he hoped he’d be able to forget the nightmare that had just unfolded. It can’t be true. But as he and his mother walked back to her room in silence, he knew it was.

  Chapter 12

  There was no way Allyson could’ve stayed at New Hope. Things had changed and not only because Caydan had left. She had no idea if Delveen’s announcement about James being Caydan’s father was true, but it sure as heck affected the rest of the Hendersons. Somehow it brought them all to Tabiq. For the resort, that was a positive thing. The guests really en
joyed having them there. The employees, well . . . there was a connection she couldn’t understand. It was the same as she’d witnessed when Caydan spoke with them. Was it because they were all strong arrogant personalities no one wanted to mess with, or was it because they all shared something she didn’t? Tabiqian heritage? After a week of observing it all, it was clear she no longer was needed.

  It’d been a difficult conversation for her, approaching them and asking to be let out of her contract, but they graciously agreed. They had tried offering her positions in other companies they owned. She really appreciated their offers, but Allyson needed some time to think and sort things out. They told her, again and again, what an asset she was. But her passion for HR seemed to have walked out the door.

  At the same time Caydan had.

  It made no sense, but she was angry at herself for not being able to prevent how things had gone down. Did he need to know who his father was? Most likely, but no one should have to learn of it that way. If she’d never called Delveen that day, hadn’t mentioned that Caydan was the manager, none of this would’ve happened. She and Caydan would still be at New Hope. And I’d still know what my one, three, and five year career plan was. Now, I don’t even know what I’m doing tomorrow. Whatever it was, she wanted a change.

  Allyson had never quit a job. But part of her was glad she had. New Hope was a resort to relax in, but each time she’d seen any of the Hendersons she’d fought back the urge to ask about Caydan. She’d been worried about him and needed to know he was okay. But like he’d promised, Caydan had left the next day. From that point on, no one had mentioned his name again, at least not in front of her. Was it because they didn’t trust her or because they wanted nothing to do with him? The woman in her had wanted to fix it all, but it wasn’t her place to do so. It was a family issue, not an employee one.

  She understood why. Caydan had gone to Tabiq under false pretences. Even learning he was family, it was hard, if not impossible, to get past Caydan being there to ruin them. Allyson didn’t believe he would’ve gone through with it. Or at least she hoped he wouldn’t have. Although she’d known a lot about Tabiq’s past, there was so much she hadn’t known. If she had, it was possible she never would’ve taken the job at New Hope in the first place. Like Caydan, she may have judged the Hendersons for what their father had done.

  And like him, that would’ve been wrong. They’re not like their father. And neither is Caydan. She hoped in time they could forgive and accept each other. Not so much for the Hendersons because they had each other. But all Caydan had was his mother. If he could get past the shock, the pain, maybe something good could come of all of it. But she knew that would take time. Especially when you learn everything you believed is wrong.

  Her heart ached for Caydan, but also for his mother. She couldn’t imagine what hell Delveen had face as a young woman practically held as prisoner. James sounded like a monster, and the world was a better place without him. But the scars he’d left behind were massive and the victims endless. As are the ripple effects for future relationships.

  There was no doubt Caydan was protective and loved his mother. She was positive he’d forgive her for not telling him before. Delveen had a weight lifted off her shoulders, but the saying that time heals all wounds might have been an exaggeration. It’d been almost two months since that horrible day, and she still hadn’t forgotten the look of disbelief, horror, and pain in Caydan’s eyes.

  Allyson had walked into something she didn’t belong in. She’d known she should’ve left, but couldn’t. She cared about him and had hated seeing what had been transpiring right in front of them without being able to help. Allyson had wanted to say something, go to him, but there was nothing she could have done that wouldn’t have added to his distress. I’ve already done enough damage.

  Part of her felt as though it was her fault. There was no way Allyson could have had any idea what Delveen was going to say and surely had never expected it could be something so life changing. They had been having a nice chat in Delveen’s room, talking about Caydan’s youth. She’d learned all about his years in boarding school and university. She’d had no doubt that Caydan was intelligent, but had learned he was always top of his class. She’d been impressed. She had hoped to learn a few more personal things about him but understood why Delveen hadn’t shared them. Because she hadn’t been there to know.

  But when Allyson had accidently let it slip about the tension building between Caydan and Shaun, Delveen’s demeanor had changed. It was as though she’d connected the dots. Delveen, like any mother, had quickly figured out the real reason Caydan was in Tabiq. Delveen had looked panicked and had begun rambling in Tabiqian. Allyson had tried telling her she’d been overreacting, but Delveen had become a mother on a mission and nothing Allyson could’ve said would’ve stopped her.

  When they’d arrived at Roger’s room and she had seen the tension between Caydan and Shaun, Allyson realized things were worse than what Delveen had feared. At first Allyson had thought Delveen was going to defuse the situation. By the end of it all, Allyson had come to know more about Caydan than she could’ve imagined. Including knowing he hates me.

  She sipped her hot tea and pulled the lap throw up higher. It wasn’t cold, but it was far from the heat in Tabiq. Allyson thought returning home to Connecticut would make it easier to forget. The location changed, but the void within her remained. Allyson was haunted by regrets. The greatest was how it ended. She wished she could talk to Caydan one more time.

  Allyson usually found peace sitting on her porch. She loved the solitude. But now, all she felt was . . . alone. She pulled her phone out of her pocket. She had his number. All she had to do was let her fingers scroll to it and press call. Would he answer? And if he did, what would she say? Sorry. I should’ve shut my mouth. I shouldn’t have chatted with your mother. I should’ve let you know how much I cared when I had the chance. Although all those things were true, it was summed up with just two words. I’m sorry.

  As she stared at the phone, she wished he’d reach out to her. Even if it was only to yell at her, at least she’d hear his voice one more time.

  Her phone rang, startling her. She spilled her tea onto the floor and almost dropped the phone. Could it be? Was willing and wanting it all it took? Her heart raced, but when she saw the caller ID, her hope diminished.

  “Hi, Mom.”

  “Allyson, I hope you’re coming for dinner tonight.”

  “I really don’t feel like going out. I have a headache.” It was more like a heartache, but she wasn’t starting that conversation all over again. They’d been through it several times since she first got home. Her mother thought she was making a huge mistake by not seeking Caydan out. And Allyson knew she couldn’t because of the mistakes she’d already made.

  “If you don’t, your father and I are coming to you.”

  That wasn’t a threat. She knew her parents would show up. Why couldn’t they understand she needed a bit more time to lick her wounds? It wasn’t as though she’d been there for months. A few weeks wasn’t asking too much, was it? I guess so.

  “Fine, I’ll be here.”

  “Good, but we’re not eating at the house.”

  “What do you mean?” They always did. Her father hated eating out.

  “We won a gift certificate, and we’re all going out for dinner. So put on something pretty and do your hair. It’s a time to celebrate.”

  “What exactly are we celebrating?” Allyson asked.

  “Oh dear. You really don’t know do you?”

  Allyson had tried not to think at all, but unfortunately, her mind kept going back to Tabiq, to Caydan. If she could, she’d go back to bed, pull the blankets up, and shut out the world.

  “No, Mom, I don’t. And I really don’t feel like celebrating anything. Why don’t you and Dad go alone?”

  “Without the birthday girl? That wouldn’t be much of a celebration now would it?”

  It’s my birthday. If there was any q
uestion whether or not she was in a funk, that confirmed it. And also made her want to skip dinner even more.

  “Please Mom, promise me one thing.”

  “What is that, dear?”

  “No having the waiters come over clapping and singing happy birthday to me. I’m really not in the mood for it.”

  “You’re thirty-five. It’s not like you’re a child anymore.”

  That didn’t seem to stop you last year. “Great. I’ll put on a dress and meet you at the restaurant.”

  “You don’t want to ride with us?”

  “It’s easier coming from here.”

  “Okay. Allyson, we love you and happy birthday.”

  “Thanks, Mom. I love you too.”

  She hated to admit it, but her mom calling was actually perfect timing. Allyson needed something to get her mind off Caydan. And going to a restaurant meant enough distractions that her mother might not ask.

  My birthday wish is one night of not missing him.

  * * *

  Caydan had been furious when his mother told him what she’d done. She had no right to reach out to Allyson’s mother and discuss such personal things. He’d spoken so harshly to Allyson the last time he saw her. He told himself excuse after excuse why he couldn’t call her, some of them valid, most were not.

  The truth was she had witnessed him at his worse, and even with all the shit that had been going down, he had pointed the finger at her. There were a lot of people to blame, most of it was his to carry, but none of it was hers.

  When Shaun told him she resigned, he was floored. He never thought she’d break her contract. That only proved how hurt she was by it all. She hadn’t broken the trust, he had. And the last thing she probably wanted was to see him again.

  But the mothers didn’t seem to agree. They were doing exactly what they shouldn’t. Butting in. When he told his mother he wasn’t going to the restaurant, she shrugged it off and announced she was going to go without him then. That would’ve been a slap in the face. Allyson didn’t deserve that.