Fighting Me (Shaft on Tour #5)

by Cat Mason

  I’m turning into a pussy.

  Pulling back, Rae meets my eyes and I see something there that fucking levels me. Love. Oh fuck me, the woman has fallen in love with me. Fear courses through my veins, because she can’t possibly feel that way about me. For fuck’s sake… if she knew what I was capable of, she would run like hell.

  What’s even worse is that I’m terrified that she will. My heart races, partially in fear, but partially because what I see when she looks at me in this moment has nothing to do with anyone else. I put that look there. I’m the reason for that smile. Dread and confliction settle in my chest at the thought that I may have just found what I’ve never had in forty years of my life, and yet, I know that one day it will be gone.

  “You gotta go,” she whispers, brushing her lips over mine again, softly.

  Turning my head, I see Aiden tapping his watch, shouting for everyone to get on the bus. Swallowing hard, I kiss Rae one more time before releasing her. She walks over and takes Brannon from Daisy, as Daisy wipes a tear from her face. “Tell Big Man bye, handsome,” Rae says, waving her hand.

  “Keep the plants watered, kid,” I wave as both girls roll their eyes.

  “Bye!” he shouts, making me laugh. I can’t get over how much he has come out of his shell. Talking and even potty training. Although, now it’s him pissing in the potted plants and baskets instead of Bits fucking with them. Nothing even remotely shaped like a toilet is safe and the girls hate how funny we think it is.

  Climbing the steps, I settle into the driver’s seat and shift into gear. Honking the horn, I hit the gas and steer the Big Bitch down the driveway, counting the days until everyone is back under one roof again and I can get my hands on my girl.

  “That was touching,” Hunter shouts from his old, ugly ass recliner. “You leave your balls with her?”

  “You wanna make it to Indy alive, motherfucker?” I deadpan, turning onto the highway. Looking up in the mirror, I stare at him as he laughs.

  “I’m a little jealous that you never held me like that Big Man,” Hunter teases. “Feel like you’ve been holdin’ out on me. There were nights when I needed a little cuddlin’ and affection from you. This hurts me.”

  “Not kiddin’,” I reply, pointing out the window toward the exit ramp. “You and that ugly chair, right there, over the embankment.”

  “That needs to be videotaped,” Ireland whoops.

  “Don’t you worry, girl,” I inform her, keeping my eyes on the road as I merge onto the interstate. “Aiden is always on top of that shit.”

  “Well,” Hunter says, “Since it’s a long drive, how about we play a game?”

  I don’t even have to look in the mirror to know he is holding up the Scrabble box. “Are you kiddin’ me?” Ireland asks. “I’m nowhere near old enough for that boring ass game.”

  “The way we play,” Chase says, with a laugh. “You probably are too young.”

  “Whatever,” Ireland fires back. “Prove it.”

  “How about a bet?” Hunter asks.

  I roll my eyes and laugh. “And so it begins.” Looks like someone will be making use of his thong in Indy.

  ***

  By the time we pull into the hotel parking lot in Indianapolis, everyone is itchin’ to get settled in their rooms and all I want is a shower and to hear Rae’s voice as she talks about her day. Nothing important, nothing that matters, just whatever comes out of her mouth.

  After settling Cam and Aiden in a suite with Mike, I put Jared on Ireland and decide I’ll crash with Hunter, Chase, and Grayson in the bigger suite. Scrolling through my phone, I find Rae’s name along with the picture I snapped of her on the beach and press the button for Facetime.

  “Hey,” she sighs, when her face pops up on my screen. Her hair is fanned across my pillow and I instantly wish I was there with her to wrap it around my wrist while I fuck her from behind and run my lips down her spine. Yes, I’ve got romance in spades. “How was the drive?”

  “Long,” I yawn, relaxing into the mattress. “Were you asleep, baby?” I ask, looking at the clock and noticing that it’s after midnight.

  “No, just lying here. Naked and all alone in this huge bed,” she says, angling the camera down just enough for me to see the top of her breasts.

  “You’d test the strength of any saint, baby.” Chuckling, I lie back onto the pillow and stretch my legs out on the bed.

  “Don’t want to test a saint, I’m trying to poke the bear.”

  “Fuck,” I groan, throwing a hand over my face. “It’s gonna be a long two weeks,” I say, knowing that if tonight is any indication, she plans to do this to me the entire time I’m gone. “I hope you’re prepared for what it will be like when I get back if you keep that shit up the entire trip.”

  She laughs, and my dick is hard instantly. “That sounds like a challenge. We both know how much I like those.”

  “The things I would do to that body of yours if I was there, Rae.”

  Leaning up on her elbow, she holds the phone back, giving me a better view of her body as the sheet falls away. “What would you do to me right now, Henry?” she purrs, her brown eyes darkening.

  Sitting up, I lean back against the headboard. “Lie your phone on the pillow, Rae, and do everything that I say.”

  A slow smile spreads across her face and she does just that. Sitting up on her knees, she props the phone up on a pillow, letting me see all of her. “Now what?” she asks, her hands trembling a bit.

  “Touch yourself.”

  Rae’s fingertips skim along her hip, and I shake my head. “No, don’t touch your pussy. Not yet. Make it last, baby, I could watch you like this all night.”

  Cupping her breasts, she teases her nipples, tugging on the barbells. Her teeth bite down on that bottom lip. I’m fucking jealous as hell that I can only watch and not bite it myself. Tilting her head back, she closes her eyes and moans. I swear the vibrations travel all the way from Nashville and straight to my cock.

  “I want your hands on me, your mouth,” she moans, running one hand down her abdomen as she rolls her hips.

  I hear shuffling outside my door and muffled voices before a fist pounds on my door. “Big Man, we’ve got a situation!” I hear Jared shout through the closed door.

  Are you fucking kidding me right now?

  Rae stops immediately, her eyes widening. “What’s going on?” she asks, picking up the phone.

  “I don’t know, baby,” I tell her, honestly. “I’ll call you back later, okay?”

  Ending the call, I adjust my dick and climb from the bed. “I’m exhausted, someone better be dead.” I say, flinging open the door to meet a soaking wet Jared. The man looks like a drowned rat, and more pissed off than a caged bull. “What the hell happened to you?”

  Blowing out a breath, he crosses his arms over his chest. “Ireland.”

  “What the fuck do you mean, ‘Ireland’?” I ask, shoving past him and heading up the hallway. “Where in the hell is she?” The last thing I need is for her to be running around here unprotected and alone. For all I know the damn press is downstairs along with fucking Katheryn and her Shaft Spotters just waiting for something to post about the band.

  “She’s back at the suite,” Jared says, smugly. “Not alone, either. A few men and at least one young lady joined her after she stripped naked and dove into the damn pool. I can’t deal with that shit. I wanted to kick her ass. Still do.”

  “Well, if the press wasn’t here, they will be soon enough,” I say, pinching the bridge of my nose. My feet burn up the suite as I reach the door. Yanking it open, I stomp down the hall before pounding on the door. “Ireland, open the fuckin’ door or I’m coming in.”

  When she doesn’t answer, I pull out the card key, and shove it in the lock. Shoving through the door, I enter a clusterfuck of epic proportions. There are bodies everywhere, men, women, and everyone is getting naked quick. The floors are covered with water and empty bottles of booze. “What the fuck is going on here?”
I roar, picking up an empty bottle of vodka and smashing it against the wall.

  Everyone flies apart, scrambling across the room for clothes and things to cover themselves. “Hey, Big Man. Welcome to the party!” Ireland climbs from beneath some guy, naked as the day she was born.

  “Party’s over,” I say, grabbing a towel from the floor and tossing it to her. “Cover yourself up.”

  Turning my back to the mess, I see Jared standing in the doorway, his mouth hanging open. “If you need any help tonight, get Mike. I’m going to call my girl and then I’m going to fucking bed.”

  Running a hand over my hair, I head back to the safety of my nice, calm suite. As soon as everyone calms down and starts acting like they have sense, they add Ireland to the band. “I don’t get paid enough for this shit,” I groan, passing everyone and heading straight into my room, locking the door behind me.

  23

  Minor Obligations

  Rae

  Two weeks have flown by. Every night I spend on the phone with Henry. The promotional tour has gone great, except Ireland is behaving like a reckless child. Henry, Jared, and Mike are spending nearly all their time handling her because she is constantly showing her ass.

  Literally!

  “She’s one big mess,” Henry says, scowling into the phone screen. “As if I needed anything else to handle. For fuck’s sake if I wanted to handle a kid, I’d have stayed home with Brannon and Jasmine. I swear there are reasons why I’m forty and not a father, Rae,” he snaps. “If she were my daughter, I’d lock her up.” He blows out a breath, and then another. “Okay, so we’re pulling out and will be home tonight. How are you? Everything okay there?”

  “No, actually. Daisy has the baby and Jazz. I’ve been in my bed all morning, my stomach is rolling.”

  “How’s your blood sugar been?” he asks, concern etching his face as he studies me. “You look awfully pale.”

  “Fine for the most part. I think I’ve caught the stomach bug Jasmine last week,” I tell him. The joy of public school is your kid brings home all kinds of goodies; art projects, invitations to birthday parties, oh, and every sickness known to man. Fun, fun.

  “I hate this,” he sighs. “I know my place is here with the guys, but I need to be there with you. It’s so hard being away from you when all I want to do is hold you in my arms.”

  “Then come home, I’ll be waiting.” My stomach rolls again, a cold sweat breaking out across my skin. “I… I gotta go.”

  Hanging up the phone, I leap from the bed, making it to the toilet just as I throw up my breakfast. Pushing myself up on shaky legs, I turn on the sink and splash water over my face before brushing my teeth.

  After checking my blood sugar, it’s time to take my insulin. Whatever this bug is has my levels soaring today. Digging through my clothes, I change into a white maxi dress and my stomach begins to settle. Padding up the hallway, I decide to check on the kids and Daisy and eat something. “Hey, how you feelin’?” Mack asks, when I walk into the kitchen and find him helping Daisy and the kids with baking a cake. Adjusting Brannon on his hip, he hands Daisy a pack of bacon while Jazzie eats leftover frosting from the bowl.

  “Better,” I say, happy that I seem to be getting my bearings back. “Just need to eat and keep something down now and I’ll be fine. I’m just lucky it didn’t last as long as Jasmine’s did,” I reply. That bug cost the kids two days of school and something that bad could wreak havoc on my ketone levels. Poor Mack and I were ran ragged trying to keep the little diva hydrated and comfortable while Daisy kept Brannon separate so he didn’t get sick. I’ve spent days with Lysol and bleach attached to my side like loaded six gun shooters at a high noon showdown.

  Taking a diet soda from the fridge, I grab a tub of cheddar cheese cubes and the container of grapes. Sliding them on the bar, I hop up on the stool beside Jazzie and start munching. Turning to the counter, Daisy grabs a knife from the cutting block and slices into the bacon before lining strips up in the skillet. “What are you frying bacon for?” I ask before shoveling in a handful of grapes.

  Her hands stop in midair, a slice of bacon dangling just above the pan in front of me. “Making Hunter maple bacon cupcakes.”

  “Oh my God,” I say clamping a hand over my mouth, my stomach lurches, revolting violently at the smells around me. The frosting, cheese, bacon frying, it’s all too much. Leaping from the stool, I empty my stomach into the trash can, gasping for breath as I do.

  “Damn,” Mack says, wrapping his arms around me when I wobble into the wall. “Last time I saw someone heave like that was when Daisy was knocked up with the little guy.”

  His words slam into me like a freight train. My vision swims. One minute, I’m trying to remember my birth control shot dates and trying to remember the last time I had a period, then everything goes dark.

  ***

  Ever feel like your world has been knocked off its axis? Like in the matter of a few minutes, nothing will ever be the same? Yep, that’s how I feel as I pace the bathroom at my doctor’s office right now.

  After I came to and admitted that it could very well be a possibility, I called my doctor and he told me to go ahead and come in as soon as possible and they would fit me in. Once I was able to eat and hold it down, I managed to talk Mack into letting me take a cab while he stayed back with the kids and Daisy. Reluctantly, he let me go alone. Now I stare at the cup of pee on the sink as I pace in front of it.

  I have always wanted kids, but after losing Joshua, the idea was off the table. I never thought I’d find someone I cared enough about to even entertain the idea. In these last few months though, I can’t deny how much I’ve grown to care about Henry. I love him. I know that, without a doubt. He loves Brannon and Jasmine and would be an amazing father, I know that too.

  I also can’t stop repeating the words he said this morning in my head, over and over.

  “There are reasons why I’m forty and not a father, Rae.”

  “As if I needed anything else to handle. For fuck’s sake, if I wanted to handle a kid, I’d have stayed home with Brannon and Jasmine.”

  Taking a deep breath, I shove the cup into the little door in the wall before washing my hands and heading back down to my exam room to wait. It’s like torture. They shove you into a temperature controlled stale white room, with no noise, and nothing to occupy you but your thoughts for nearly an hour and then they walk in like you should be happy to see them when they plan on sticking you with needles and poking you in private places with things that look like the twisted shit in the alien movies.

  “Hello, Rae,” Dr. Masters says, stepping into the room. The man looks like a mini version of Mr. Clean with a pot belly. It’s hilarious. “Looks like we have some interesting news.” Looking through my chart, he sits on the rolling stool and meets my eyes. “It’s a baby.”

  Sitting on the exam table, I grip the side with my fingers, squeezing until my knuckles turn white. “You’re sure?” I ask, feeling pretty damn stupid as soon as the words come out of my mouth.

  He chuckles. “Pretty sure,” closing my chart, he sets it on the table beside him and stands to his feet. “Your diabetes classifies you as high-risk. You’ll need extra and more frequent tests and visits with me as well as seeing a high risk OBGYN. On top of a support system because you’re going to need a lot of help, especially the further along you get. We need to get all of that squared away as soon as possible since it looks like you’re about eight weeks or so. Congratulations.”

  Congratulations.

  The word echoes in my head the entire time I am checked and have lab work done. According to everything I am in fact nine weeks, putting me due next summer. I get a bag full of pregnancy swag. It’s like the award shows where the celebrities get all kinds of free shit, except I get hemorrhoid cream samples, breastfeeding pads, and prenatal vitamins.

  It’s a great time.

  After setting up appointments with the nursing staff, I climb into a cab just as my phone screen lights up
with Henry’s name. “Hey,” I say into the phone, “You almost home? We need to talk about something.”

  “We’re runnin’ late,” he says flatly. “Fuckin’ Ireland decided to flash some truckers when we stopped to eat and just happened to do it in front of some Tennessee State Troopers.”

  “She really is acting out, huh?” I ask.

  “Where to?” the cab driver asks.

  “What was that?” Henry asks, changing the subject. “Where are you?”

  “I had a doctor’s appointment. I told Mack I’d take a cab so that he could stay with Daisy and the kids.”

  “Not your call, Firecracker. Especially, not with you feeling bad,” Henry scolds. “No one leaves without someone on their back. Thought you learned that lesson.”

  Rattling off the address to the house, I blow out a breath. “Henry, you’re not here. This was a call that I made. It was what was best, I’m fine.”

  “I can’t be handlin’ Ireland and all this shit on top of worryin’ myself into a stroke about you too,” he says, his tone pissing me off way too much. “We’ll talk about this when I get there.”

  “No, we won’t.”

  Snapping the phone shut, I power it off and shove it in to my bag. I tap on the glass window separating me from the driver. “There’s been a change of plans. I need you to take me to Lazy Creek Cemetery.” The driver nods, and changes lanes to head out of town. Settling back in the seat, I close my eyes and place a hand over my still flat mid-section. A million thoughts go through my head on the drive. I begin the task of making a list of decisions that have to be made, one being to tell Henry that he is going to be a father.

  I can’t even begin to imagine how the conversation will go. Not only is my pregnancy simply high-risk because of my diabetes, but there are a ton of complications to worry about even in a totally normal pregnancy on top of those. In just a few months, I will be responsible for a little human being, it feels so surreal. The thought of holding a piece of Henry and myself in my arms has me on the verge of tears.