Fighting for the Forbidden: Forbidden Series #3

by Lorraine, Tracy

  “You will?”

  “I’ll do my best.”

  Hanging up, I glance back into the bar at Danni and Joe, who are laughing away like they’ve not got a care in the world. It would probably make my life easier if I asked for their help, but I’ve got a pretty good idea what their opinion on all of this would be. They both agree that I need to stay as far away from Ben as I can. Most of the time I agree with them—well, my head does. But this isn’t about me. This is about Jenny. She’s already been through more pain and heartache than most people should have to deal with in their lifetime.

  Squaring my shoulders, I look back one last time before walking away from the bar and going in search of a taxi. Once I’m settled, I send a quick text to Joe and Danni to explain my disappearance before putting my phone back in my bag and staring out the window.

  When the taxi pulls into the car park, I’m convinced that his car is going to be parked in the far corner. It’s his favourite place; the place he comes when he needs some peace and to get away from the world.

  But it’s empty.

  Not knowing what my next move will be, I ask the driver to pull up and wait. I get out and the low evening sun immediately warms my skin. Walking to the edge of the gravel, I look out at the city beyond. So much has happened between us in this deserted car park. It makes me feel closer to him just by being here. I’ve no idea how he ever found this place, but I’ll forever be grateful that he introduced me to it. It took me a few months after he left before I was brave enough to come here, but once I did, I found it to be my safe haven.

  No one was watching my every move while I was here. No one was judging while I was still fighting to get over him. I could allow myself to grieve for what I’d lost without worrying what everyone else thought.

  I had no idea that I was completely in the dark as to what was going on around me back then. I truly believed that Ben had left of his own accord. Naïve? Maybe, but it was what I was led to believe and I didn’t really have any reason to question it. I knew the kind of man my dad was. I knew he liked to have everything and everyone under his control, but the little girl inside me who desperately craved for her daddy to be her hero wouldn’t allow me to see the severity of it. The evidence was all around me, but I chose to ignore the majority of the warning signs. I truly wanted to believe he had my best interests at heart.

  Jenny was devastated that her only son had upped and vanished, and Dad seemed to play the part of the concerned husband and father so well that I never questioned his involvement after I first accused him. I was too broken and lost to question it. Then Joe walked into the office, and he helped put me back together.

  As the sun descends, it reflects off something at the bottom of the hill. Squinting my eyes, my stomach jumps into my throat when I see what I assume is Ben’s car. I almost laughed when I first saw the bright orange Mitsubishi Warrior parked on Jenny’s drive. It’s not something I ever would have imagined him driving, but then I remembered it had been six years since I thought I knew him. A lot can change in that time.

  Everything about this place starts to make sense.

  I never noticed the graveyard below before, but it should have been obvious because I knew where his dad was buried. Ben comes here to be close to him. A giant lump forms in my throat at the thought.

  Movement off to the side of the car drags my focus back, and I watch a man who can only be Ben walking towards his car. He stands with his hand on the handle, looking back over his shoulder at where he came from for a few seconds before climbing in.

  My heart races. What do I do now? We’re too far away to follow him, to do something to try to stop him. Pulling my phone from my pocket, I hesitate for a second but I find his number and put it to my ear, casting aside my concerns and focusing on what Jenny needs.

  It doesn’t even ring; the automated voice on the other end just tells me that the phone’s turned off. Not knowing what else to do, I stand and watch as his car pulls out of the car park. If Jenny’s right and he’s leaving, then he’ll head right out towards the motorway.

  I wait for the indicator to flash, and when it does, I’m surprised to see the left one. After a second or two, he pulls away again and heads back into the city.

  Blowing out a breath, knowing there’s not a lot else to do, I walk back to the taxi. Without thinking, my mum’s address falls from my lips when the driver asks me where I’d like to go.

  Not feeling up to talking to Jenny, especially if she’s still crying, I opt to send her a text explaining that I think he’s still about. Hopefully, he’ll just head home and they can sort everything out before focusing on the business.

  It’s dark by the time we get back into the city and pull up outside Mum’s building. She still lives in the flat we used to share before I was moved into the show home.

  Not knowing I would end up here means that I don’t have any keys. I wince as I hit the buzzer, not knowing whether I’ll wake her or not. I probably should just go home, but I don’t want to be alone and I know that Joe will be out until the early hours.

  “Hello?” Mum asks groggily.

  “Mum, it’s me. Can I come up?” My voice cracks at the end, and I have to fight the entire way up to Mum’s flat not to break down.

  The second my foot hits the top step and I see her waiting at her front door, I run towards her. She immediately engulfs me in her arms and pulls me inside. The stress, exhaustion and confusion all pour out of me as she walks us towards her living room.

  I haven’t seen Mum since the funeral.

  I guess I’ve been putting off having this conversation and admitting the truth about what I’ve done. She knows Ben’s back, and she’s tried dragging information out of me on the phone, but I’ve kept my lips sealed. She knows something’s going on though. She can read me better than I can myself. She always knows.

  “Should I go and get us a glass of wine?”

  “Yeah,” I agree.

  While she’s busy doing that, I make use of her bathroom, and after splashing my face with water, I feel a little more with it once again.

  When I get back, Mum’s waiting for me with two giant glasses of wine on the coffee table. “I got the feeling we’d need big ones,” she explains with a sympathetic smile, and I can’t help but laugh.

  Slipping my shoes off, I settle myself into the corner of the sofa and sip at my wine, trying to figure out where the hell to start.

  “I’ll sit here all night if you need me to, Lauren, but I should warn you that I have work in the morning.”

  “Sorry,” I whisper, a smile twitching at my lips. God, I love my mum. She always manages to say something to lighten the mood.

  “It’s Dad.”

  “Oh,” Mum says, her eyebrows rising in surprise. I know she was probably expecting me to say Ben’s name, and maybe I should start there, but dealing with Dad first seems like the easier option.

  “Apparently, he paid Ben off. Dad made him leave.” The pain those words cause must be obvious in my voice, but Mum just nods, as if sensing there’s more to come. “He’d been blackmailing Erica into cooking the books, and the business is on the verge of bankruptcy. Jenny could lose the house.”

  “Jesus, Lauren. I really want to tell you that I’m surprised by that but…I was married to your dad for almost ten years.”

  “I don’t even know what to think, Mum. Everything I thought I knew has just been shattered. I thought he left because I was just some kind of twisted fuck-you to Dad. I never expected…” My bottom lip trembles as the reality of how much my dad messed with my life hits me once again. “We could have been happy. We could have…” I don’t really want to think of all the things we could have been by now. It’s too hard to even consider. “And then there’s Erica. He was sleeping with her, Mum. She was at rock bottom after her ex left her, and he took total advantage. She’s young enough to be his daughter.” My lip curls in disgust. “How could he?”

  “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I always hoped you’d
never have to experience that side of your dad.”

  “Why were you with him?”

  “I fell in love, baby. I was young, and he offered me everything I thought I wanted in life. Like I’ve said many times before, we can’t help who we fall in love with. What about Ben? If he didn’t leave willingly, where does that leave the two of you? Is he single?”

  I open my mouth to respond, but I don’t know the answer to that last question. I want to say yes, but knowing that I haven’t been entirely honest with him since his reappearance makes me question his own status. “I…uh…I don’t know.”

  “To which question?”

  “Either.”

  “But you’re still in love with him. What’s the issue?”

  “He left me, Mum.”

  “Yeah, but not by choice, it seems.”

  “Does it matter? He still went. He could have fought for me. He didn’t have to take Dad’s money and run. He could have stayed. He could have stayed with me. Hell, he could have taken me with him. Anything but leave.”

  “Has anything happened?” My face flushes bright red, answering her question, and I cast my eyes away, embarrassed.

  “What?”

  Blowing out a breath, I prepare to tell her what I’ve done. “He thinks I’m with Joe.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I made it out that way.”

  “Lauren,” she says on a sigh. “What are you doing?”

  “I’ve no fucking clue. I thought I had everything how I wanted it. I was finally in a place where I was enjoying life, and then he turns up and throws everything into chaos. Dad dies, I fall straight back into bed with my stepbrother, and I end up quitting my job.” I can’t help but laugh at how ridiculous it all sounds.

  “You quit? Why?”

  I’m silent for a few seconds as I consider how to answer that question. I want to say it’s because I don’t want to work with Ben, but she’d know that’s a lie.

  “Look, it’s totally your decision, but don’t you think you owe it to everyone to stick it out, whether the business makes it or not? If not for Ben or your dad, for Jenny?”

  “Us working together isn’t a good idea.”

  “Because you still love him?”

  “Yes, okay? Yes, I still love him,” I admit, a little louder and more forcefully than I was expecting. “But he left me. He walked out of my life and didn’t reappear until my dad died. And what? I’m meant to just carry on like it’s six years ago because it’s what my heart wants? What about what I deserve?”

  “What about what Ben deserves?”

  “I’m sorry, what?”

  “He hasn’t had it easy in all of this either, Lauren.”

  “Hang on, whose side are you on here?”

  “Yours, baby. Always yours. I’m just trying to look at things from both sides. He was forced from the only life he’d known because he fell in love. How easy do you think the last six years have been for him? While you’ve been here, trying to carry on, he had to totally rebuild his life. You told me before that he left with nothing.”

  “Nothing but the dirty money Dad gave him.”

  “That means nothing, and you know it. What’s he even been doing for the past six years?”

  “I’ve no idea,” I admit quietly. Mum looks at me with disapproval in her eyes. “It hasn’t really come up in conversation,” I say, trying to defend myself.

  “Have you even had a conversation?”

  My silence says it all. It’s true, I guess. When we’ve been together, we’ve either been arguing or fucking. I have no clue what his life’s been like other than he has what seem to be good friends.

  “Do you think maybe you need to sit down with him, get everything out in the open?” I don’t respond, because my phone buzzes in my bag. Pulling it out, I smile when I see a picture message from Joe. I quickly swipe to see what he’s sent me. It’s usually something to show me how much fun he’s having, trying to convince me to come and join him. However when the photo loads, my smile drops and my hand trembles.

  “Lauren? What’s wrong?” Mum’s voice sounds a million miles away as I stare down at an image of Ben with a practically naked stripper wrapped around him.

  “Motherfucker,” I growl, throwing my phone down on the sofa and marching to the other side of the room.

  The only thing I can hear is my blood rushing through my ears—that is, until Mum’s voice breaks through.

  “What’s the problem? You’re with Joe as far as he’s concerned.”

  Chapter Three

  Ben

  “Ben.” The volume of her calls only intensifies the pounding in my head. “Ben.” This time, she accompanies it with knocking.

  “Yeah, I’m here,” I grate out. My throat’s as dry as the fucking Sahara.

  “We’re meeting Erica at nine. We’re going to be late if you don’t hurry up.”

  Rolling over, I drag my eyes open, the morning light burning my sockets, and I have to fight not to pull the duvet over my head and go back to sleep.

  Heading to that strip club last night probably wasn’t the best idea, but drowning things out with alcohol and women is the only way I know how.

  I’ve no idea what time I eventually made it home last night, and I only have very vague memories of the journey. Thankfully, I was sensible enough to get in a taxi.

  “Ben?” Mum shouts again, correctly assuming that I’m trying to ignore her. “I know you’re angry, and I’m sorry, but please, we need to get to the office. There’s a lot that needs to be discussed before it’s too late.”

  “Give me ten,” I call out.

  “Don’t forget all your ID for Chris later either,” she says, reminding me about our meeting to start the process of getting everything changed over to my name. The prospect of having the weight of not only the business and all its issues but this place on my head is more daunting than I’ve let anyone see. If I screw this up, it’s going to impact a lot of lives.

  Sucking in a few deep breaths once I’ve managed to sit myself on the edge of the bed, I will my stomach to settle. I haven’t drunk that much in a long time, but unlike all the previous times I’ve drunk my problems away, Lauren’s face never left me. The image of her in Joe’s arms is still right there in front of my eyes, taunting me.

  After a few seconds, I pull myself to my feet and stumble towards the en suite. I’m in desperate need of a shower before I grace other humans with my presence.

  Mum’s at the bottom of the stairs waiting for me. The second my foot hits the ground floor, she walks up to me and throws her arms around my shoulders. I tense. I’m still angry with her for interfering, but I don’t have it in me to turn her away right now.

  “I’m so glad you didn’t leave.”

  “Trust me, it was close.”

  “Where did you go?”

  “It doesn’t matter.” Placing my hands on her shoulders, I prise her away from me. There’s no way I’m telling her about going to see Dad; it’ll only make her ask questions that I’m not prepared to answer. “Come on, Erica will be waiting.”

  “Where’s your car?” Mum asks when she notices it’s missing.

  “Outside the strip club,” I mutter to her surprise, if her gasp is anything to go by.

  “You went to a strip club?” The line between her brows deepens, disapproval written all over her face.

  “Yes, Mum. I went to a strip club. I found the woman I’m in love with in another man’s arms, and I needed a distraction. Do you have a problem with that?” I regret snapping the moment tears pool in her eyes, but I’m really not in the mood to have my bad decisions questioned right now.

  Everyone’s busy when we get to the office, but it doesn’t stop Betty from dropping whatever she’s doing and running towards the kitchen to make us coffee the second we enter.

  “Give us ten minutes, yeah?” Mum says to Erica as we pass, then she shuts the door behind both of us once we’re in the office.

  I don’t bother waiting to s
ee where she’s going to sit. I go straight for the chair behind the desk…my chair. What I don’t expect is for Mum to turn her determined stare on me.

  “What?”

  “I need to know that you’re in this for the long haul, Ben. This business needs someone who’s going to be serious, not someone who’s going to want to run at the first sign of trouble. Hell knows, we’ve already had enough of that. What we need to do here isn’t going to be easy. It’s going to take hard work and dedication, and if you’re not the man for the job, then I have no problem with finding someone who is.”

  My eyebrows rise in surprise. It’s been years since I’ve heard Mum talk with such conviction. She and Dad ran this place like a tight ship when I was a kid, but after he died and Nick took over, it was like all her fight just disappeared. If she’d kept just a little of her tenacity, maybe we wouldn’t be in this position right now.

  “I can do it,” I say, spinning on the chair to power up the computer.

  “What was that?” Her eyebrow quirks and her hand lands on her hip.

  “I can do it.”

  “I know you can, but do you want to?”

  It might have been inevitable that I end up here, but all my life it truly was the only thing I wanted. I never considered any other career options. I’d watched my granddad and dad build this business, and from as early as I could remember, I was hungry to join them. I always expected that I’d get to work beside Dad, for a few years at least. I never would have imagined that I’d be taking over at such a crucial time for the business, but that’s even more reason for me to give this my all. This is where I need to be, because there’s not a chance in hell that I’m going to allow what the men before me built to disappear as if it never existed.

  I glance over Mum’s shoulder at where all the office staff are behind the wall. It’s the reminder I need that this isn’t just about me. This is about them, their families, their futures.

  “I want to. I always have,” I admit.