The Lake

by Grant, AnnaLisa

  “No, Layla. That’s not it at all,” Luke protests. He takes a step forward and it’s the most emotion I’ve seen from him since they arrived.

  “What is it? I’m too old? You’re too busy? You don’t want a kid around?” How could my gut be so wrong?

  “It’s not like that. We…” Luke stammers.

  “I’m not going to be any trouble. I promise. I just…I need to get out of here. I need…I need a real home.” I pause as I watch Luke and Claire look at each other, not knowing what to do now that I’ve interrupted their plan. “But…if that’s not what you want, I understand. I don’t want to be anywhere I’m not welcome anymore.”

  “It’s complicated, Layla. Claire and I…” Luke begins but Claire cuts him off.

  “We didn’t think you’d want to live with us,” Claire explains awkwardly.

  “Well…don’t I get a say?” I plead.

  “Of course you do,” Claire says softly. There’s a surprised smile on her face.

  “I’d…like to come with you…if that’s ok.” I squeak out the first declaration of my own desire in five years and beam with pride on the inside.

  Claire steps forward and takes me by the shoulders. “You are more than welcome to live with us. We want you, Layla.” Claire’s tone is soothing and evokes a feeling of belonging in me that I haven’t felt in a long time. Her words echo in my ears and I think I’m going to cry.

  “Ok. Thank you,” I say after a moment. I watch Luke and Claire smile at me and then at each other.

  “Good. No more talk about boarding school or living anywhere but with us. Ok?” Claire says brightly. I nod in reply and smile as best I can.

  We spend the next two days cleaning and packing up the house. Luke handles the items in the attic. I’ve never been up there, and won’t have a clue what I’m looking at, so I let him decide what should be kept. I figure it’s probably stuff he’ll recognize from his childhood and will know better. Luke and Claire take just a few things from the house and let me decide what to do with the rest. I determine that donating it to the church is the best thing. I’m keeping only a few things. Old photos, the blanket Gramps used to snuggle up in with me when I was little and both Gram and Gramps’ wedding rings. It doesn’t seem right for them to go to just anyone.

  And just like me, the rest of it is being set free from this place.

  Chapter 2

  When everything is finally either packed or donated and the house is completely empty I stand in the living room where Gramps’ favorite chair used to be. I breathe a few deep breaths and inhale the last lingering scent of Gramps’ aftershave and the muskiness of the furniture that Gram picked out when they got married. I close my eyes and listen to the walls creak, as if they’re releasing me, saying goodbye. I nod in silent thanks in return for the shelter they provided, and I thank my lucky stars that I won’t have to live in this house for another second. I adjusted to life here and paid my penance for what I did. The time has come for me to live my life again. I take one last look around and then leave through the front door, never looking back.

  I walk slowly to the rental car. This is my moment to be free, to find myself again. As I watch Luke and Claire my heart begins to beat faster, pounding so hard inside my chest that I’m sure they can hear it. They have no idea how they are changing my life. More than anything right now I want to make this work. I’m ready. I had been old with Gram and Gramps for five years. No more. Gramps’ death has pardoned me, and Luke and Claire are carrying me into a new life where everything I have dreamed of is finally coming true. Step one of this process is getting as far away from this place as possible.

  I get in the car and find myself lost in thought. I think about Luke and Claire and wonder what life will be like with them, remind myself of what my mom always told me. “Your gut will never lie to you, Layla,” she’d say.

  “Layla, you need to buckle up, dear,” Claire says.

  “I’m sorry. What?” We’re on the plane when I wake from my haze and come back to reality.

  “We’re about to take off. You’ve got your head in the clouds a little early,” Claire says sweetly. I echo her smile and buckle my seatbelt before the flight attendant comes by to reprimand me.

  We arrive in Charlotte and Claire and I wait outside baggage claim while Luke gets the car. The weather is warm, but not like Florida. Still, we ride with the windows up and the air on full blast. Both Luke and Claire ask me if I enjoyed the flight. It was my first time flying and they seem genuinely interested.

  “It was good,” is all I say.

  The drive from the airport is pleasant and beautiful. The highway is lined with trees and peppered with shopping plazas, gas stations, and restaurants. I’ve never seen so much green. Then, like a gift in my tragic hour, there is water on either side of the highway in the form of a behemoth size lake. The sign reads “Lake Norman” and I wonder how close to the water my new custodians live, reminding myself just how much I miss the ocean.

  My days spent at the beach as a child were the most wonderful of my life. Most of the best days we had as a family were spent playing in the sand and the ocean from morning until sunset. My parents taught me to appreciate the kind of peace, comfort, and joy that only the ocean can bring.

  The drive off the highway to Luke and Claire’s house is beautifully different from anything I’d ever seen in Florida. The town I grew up in is pretty much one big city. There are neighborhoods, but no real suburbs separate from a big center-city. As we get farther from the interstate Claire tells me they live in an area of town that is very nostalgic. “It’s a cute little town with mom-and-pop shops and restaurants. Oh, and there’s a library,” she says excitedly.

  I hope the library is a good one. If there’s one trait of my mother’s that I never let go of it was my love of books. When I was little we used to take the stories we had read over and over and play the “What if…?” game. What if…Old Mother Hubbard found a million dollars in the cupboard? I feel a smile creep onto my face at the thought of her.

  Their neighborhood streets are lined with tall, leafy trees, and I think I just saw someone actually pick up after their dog. As we drive up to their house I suddenly feel like Annie arriving at Daddy Warbucks’ mansion. Gramps seriously downplayed Luke and Claire’s success. It’s the biggest house I’ve ever seen. Why do they have such a big house if it’s just the two of them?

  It’s much nicer than the houses I lived in. The house is white, two stories, with a front porch that extends the length of the house, and dark shutters. Blue, possibly black. It looks like it belongs on the cover of a Martha Stewart magazine, except I think Martha reserves the cover for herself. The steps to the porch are wide enough that we can all walk up together…with our luggage. The big, red door has a window on the top half covered by a small curtain on the inside with little blue flowers. They’re slightly open and I unsuccessfully try to get a peek inside before Luke unlocks the door and lets us all in.

  The house is beautiful and decorated exquisitely. The fragrance filling the room is just the right scent of flowers. Clean, not overwhelming. The like-something-out-of-a-magazine theme continues with elegant furniture and accent pieces strategically placed throughout the room. I want to ask Claire if she decorated the house herself or if she had a professional do it, but I think that might sound rude, so I don’t.

  “Well, here we are. Would you like to see your room? Then I can give you a tour of the house, if you’d like,” Claire asks as I nervously stumble to set my luggage down. She turns just as she’s asking and I think she’s trying to catch me before I drop my bags and possibly disturb the room. Too late. The wheels of my suitcase catch and flip the corner of the rug, and my backpack knocks a few pillows off the couch. Luke catches a falling vase and I freeze. No, no, no Layla! This is not part of the plan. In fact, it’s the opposite of the plan! You’re trying to make this work, not make them regret taking you in from the first second you walk through the door!

  Luke smiles
as he places the vase back on the table. “I should’ve let it break. I never liked this piece,” he whispers to me with a crooked smile. I smile back at him as relief floods my body.

  “My room, yeah, that’d be great. Thanks,” I say politely as I clumsily pick up the pillows and straighten the rug. I watch for Claire’s reaction to my disturbance of the perfection of the room. She doesn’t seem upset at all. In fact, she joins me in picking up the last pillow and gives Luke a teasing nudge at his not-so-subtle comment.

  Claire leads me upstairs to a huge open loft with floor to ceiling windows on the backside of the house. There are no curtains or blinds on the windows, but it’s getting dark and I can’t really see what’s out there. There is beautiful designer furniture filling the room, and an impressive media wall.

  The most impressive feature in the room, a wall made entirely of built in bookshelves, catches my eye and makes my heart leap. There are books and perfectly placed vases and picture frames with people I don’t know stylishly placed on each shelf. I’m in heaven at the idea of spending hours reading selections from this library.

  I follow Claire down a short hall to the only room on the second floor. It is, like the rest of the house, absolutely beautiful. My room at Gram and Gramps’ was small – big enough only for a single bed, a tall 5-drawer dresser, and a small desk. The chair to the desk barely fit between the bed and the desk itself, and the closet door never closed completely. This room is huge. There’s a white, four-poster queen-size bed with beautiful white bedding with blue flowers and green accents. The windows that face the front of the house are fitted with curtains that coordinate with the bedding perfectly. There is a white desk with a pale blue chair on one wall, and a wide dresser with six drawers and a mirror hanging above it, all also white, on the opposite wall. The room is painted the perfect shade of pale blue, although it probably has a trendier name. I imagine it’s called something like Pacific Ice. I love everything about this room.

  “I made some calls and had a friend come in and decorate. I hope you like it. It’s all yours. The closet is there, and the bathroom is the door next to it,” Claire says as she points to a door with a little porcelain sign on it that reads “The Toilet” in pretty script.

  “It’s perfect. Thank you…so much.” I add the so much to let her know that I really do appreciate all she’s done to prepare a place for me on such short notice. My appreciation runs deeper than she may ever know. To say the introduction to my room at Gram’s was anticlimactic would be an understatement.

  “Are you hungry? I can make something, or we can order Chinese. Do you like Chinese food?” Claire asks.

  “Whatever you want to do is great, but Chinese is good.” I love it, actually. I’d had a standing date with my dad since I was nine. We got Chinese at this little hole in the wall near our house every Friday night for almost three years. They died on a Thursday. I haven’t had Chinese food since.

  “Ok, then. I’ll order Chinese. Any requests?”

  “Um…General Tso’s Chicken…if they’ve got it. If not, sweet and sour chicken? Thank you.” I can’t remember the last time someone asked me what I wanted for dinner. I feel like I’m in some parallel universe.

  Claire nods and excuses herself. I survey the bathroom and closet. Both are a good size. I’m sure I don’t have enough toiletries or clothes to fill either room. I unpack, putting delicates in the smaller drawers at the top of the dresser and quasi folding my other clothes into the rest of the drawers. I don’t really have a lot to hang in the closet. It looks pretty sparse even after I’m done hanging items I don’t usually hang. I put my suitcases in the closet and decide to take a shower before dinner. It’ll save me time later, and I could use the time in a hot shower to relax.

  I throw on my pajamas – an old t-shirt of my dad’s and a pair of lounge pants – and go down stairs to find the kitchen. As I approach the swinging door I can hear Luke and Claire talking.

  “Are you sure about this?” Luke asks.

  “Only time will tell,” Claire says softly. “I didn’t think I wanted this, but…when she was standing there I looked in her eyes and…”

  “I know…I saw it, too,” Luke agrees.

  Saw what, my desperation?

  I stand there on rickety legs, having to steel myself so I don’t fall. They’re hesitant. I don’t hear anger and resentment in their voices like I did Grams. It’s more like…fear. There’s something different about their qualms. Maybe it’s just the idea of having their lives interrupted, but I will do everything I can to reassure them of their decision to take me in.

  When I push the door open the food has arrived and Luke and Claire are serving the plates. My plate has a generous helping of General Tso’s Chicken, which makes the corners of my mouth lift a little.

  “So you found the towels in your bathroom! Great! Was the shower ok?” Claire asks as if she’s looking for my approval. She’s got the situation flipped, but I tell her, “Yes, they were easy to find. Thank you. And the shower was great.” She’s straightened herself out and there are no signs of the distress I overheard a moment ago.

  “We know this is…difficult,” Luke starts. “It’s hard for all of us, but I’m sure the hardest for you. I know you were close with Gramps, and we want you to know that you can talk to us if you need to.” I don’t know if that is supposed to be my cue to talk, but I’m silent as I’m still considering the exchange I overheard. “Or…we can…find a counselor for you. Whatever you want.”

  “Really, it’s ok. I’m fine. I appreciate you taking me in. I know you weren’t prepared to, and you’re not used to having kids around, so I’ll do my best to stay out of your way.” I’m overwhelmed by their generosity, especially after hearing their hesitancy.

  “You’re family, Layla. We honestly didn’t want it any other way. We’re overjoyed that you would want to live with us.” Claire has a way of speaking that is so fluid, like an angel. It matches her stature.

  Luke agrees with Claire and adds, “We hope that you’ll be happy here…with us. I’m sure it seems strange, being here and not knowing us, but we’re really looking forward to getting to know you. Like Claire said: family.”

  We make it through dinner with small talk about my few friends from back home, and Luke fills me in on the school I’ll be attending. Luke also tells me that they’ve already added me to their car insurance so I can use one of their cars to drive to school. Luke and Claire work at the same law firm and can ride together. Sometimes they work from home, so it will work out just fine. I don’t really know anything about cars, but what I do know is that it won’t be Gramps’ 1984 Buick. That hunk of metal was a real adventure to drive. Start? Not Start? Each day was a crapshoot.

  “How about that tour?” Claire asks cheerily.

  “That sounds good.” I say as I take my dishes to the sink. I begin to do the dishes out of habit but Claire stops me. I’m puzzled for a moment, but Claire insists and I do as I’m told.

  Claire leads me through the house and I’m in awe with every step. The colors, patterns, and placement are meticulous. There are warm browns and cool blues throughout the open living and dining rooms. “Your home is beautiful,” I say sincerely.

  “She’s a natural. This place would be filled with milk crates, cinder blocks and plywood if I had anything to do with it,” Luke says with a smile as he joins us. He and Claire look at each other and smile as Luke wraps his arms around Claire’s waist from behind. It’s easy to see that they’re in love. I like that Luke dotes on Claire. Dad was like that with Mom. I didn’t realize how much I missed that until now.

  I yawn and Claire notices. “It’s been a long few days and we could all use the sleep.”

  “Are you sure you don’t want me to help clean up in the kitchen? I really don’t mind.”

  “Don’t worry. The chores are coming,” Luke smirks and Claire gives him a playful jab in the ribs.

  “I’m going to go to bed then. Thank you for dinner…and everything,” I
say.

  “Of course. That’s what family is for,” Luke says just as much with his piercing eyes as with his words. It’s in this moment, with this one honest look from Luke, that I know now that my gut has been right all along. I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.

  Chapter 3

  I’m exhausted but don’t sleep very well. My eyes open in the early hours of morning. I want to go back to sleep and wish myself into a pleasant dream, but every time I close my eyes all that appears is terror. I’m not surprised. I certainly didn’t think that one night in this wonderland was going to make the nightmares end. At least my nightmares aren’t so unexpected like they are for other people. I can pretty much count on them.

  I watch the darkness of early morning transform from dark blues to oranges and finally to streams of bright light spraying through the crack in the curtains. When I see the clock reads 8:30 a.m. I give up and pull myself out of bed. I took a shower last night, so I could get dressed, but I want to leave dad’s t-shirt on a bit longer.

  I pull my hair back into a ponytail, make my bed, and head downstairs. Before I reach the stairs I finally see what is beyond the wall of windows in the loft and I can’t believe my eyes. It’s like a dream. Not like the kind I have, but the kind that make you look forward to sleep. The house sits at a perfect distance from a lake, separated only by a few dozen or so deliberately placed trees, with an equally perfect flagstone path cutting between them from the house to a private dock. I approach the window in an attempt to get an even better view. As I step forward I see that it is just as breathtaking as my first look, and for some reason hope it’s the lake I saw yesterday. I’m overwhelmed by this amazing twist of fate. That the one place I felt true peace would be represented here is more than I could have ever asked for. I know it’s not the same as the beach, but it’s the closest I’m going to get and I’m happy to receive it.