The Lake

by Grant, AnnaLisa

  My mother walks in and I’m so happy to see her that I stop what I’m doing immediately and run to her. She’s dressed in her usual broomstick skirt, t-shirt, and sandals. My little hippy wraps her arms around me and I’m filled with oozing warmth from head to toe. I haven’t felt that warmth in so long.

  “What are you doing?” she asks in her sweet voice that I have missed so much.

  “I’m unpacking,” I say.

  “Why did you put your things away in the closet?” she asks.

  “Because those things belong to the old Layla. That’s not me anymore.”

  “Why is that not you?” she says, crunching her face in confusion.

  “I had to make life here easier for Gram and Gramps, so I put away everything I used to be,” I say.

  “But Jack and Carol aren’t here. You aren’t living that life anymore, are you?”

  “No, I guess not,” I say, my voice pitching up at the end with a tone of realization.

  “When you were younger, you were the most tenacious little girl anyone had ever seen. If you wanted something, you did what you had to do to make it happen. You sacrificed so much to make things work with your grandparents. We all make sacrifices, Layla. It’s part of growing up. Isn’t it time you did something to make you happy?” She walks out of the room and I try to catch her. I reach out, try to run to her, but my arms won’t stretch and my legs won’t move.

  And then she’s gone.

  I wake up, my face wet with tears, my heart aching from watching my mother vanish in front of my dreaming eyes.

  Light is streaming almost blindingly through the thin line between the drawn curtains and I know it is mid-morning. Will should be here by now, working with Luke in the basement.

  I stand at the top of the stairs in my pajamas, my hair in a ponytail. A shower will have to wait. I walk downstairs after several days of isolation and find Luke, Claire, and Will in the kitchen. They look up, startled by my emergence, but clearly happy to see me. They’re all smiles. Will’s brighter than the others.

  “Layla!” Will says excitedly. He starts toward me but Luke stops him. I like Luke as a protector. It suites him well.

  “It’s ok, Luke.” I look at Will, almost emotionless, not certain of how his feelings may have evolved over the last few days. Has he regretted telling me? Does he now feel I’m not worth his affection because of how I chastised him? But his beaming face shines a light on the probability that my refusal to see him hasn’t changed anything. “We need to talk,” I say as I walk outside and go to the only place I know where things somehow become clearer.

  Without stopping, I walk straight to the end of the dock, not looking behind to see if or how far behind me Will might be. With every step I consider the reality that in moments I could be making the biggest fool of myself. Is Will satisfied having just made his feelings known? He made it clear that is impossible for us to be together. But since he didn’t have to say anything in the first place, I resolve that he must truly care for me, and that tenacious little girl emerges once again, ready to claim what is mine.

  “Layla. I’m so happy to see you.” He tries to touch me but I pull away. I know it sends the wrong message, but I need to keep a clear mind. Feeling Will’s skin against mine in any way is far too distracting. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…”

  “What is it that you really want, Will?” I need to hear him say it, whatever it is. It has to be more than he just needed me to know before I bare my soul to him.

  “I want…you,” he says.

  “What does that mean?”

  “It means…I care about you, Layla. But…” I cut him off before he can tell me again that we can’t be together.

  “When I moved in with my grandparents I was dropped into a life that I didn’t want. I didn’t really know them and all my grandmother did for two years was prove why we never had a relationship with her to begin with. Nonetheless, I made sacrifices in order to make my grandparents happy.

  “When I moved here with Luke and Claire I discovered that life didn’t have to be that way. I didn’t have to make sacrifices for everyone else’s happiness at the expense of my own. I can make choices based on what will make me happy.”

  “What are you saying?” He looks at me, a bit bewildered.

  “I’m saying…don’t I get any say in the situation?” Will looks at my, wide eyed. “I’m saying…what if your father isn’t the only one who doesn’t stop until he gets what he wants? I want to be with you, Will. If you want to be with me…then maybe we can make it work,” I say, fully aware that I’m doing something I haven’t done since before my parent’s died: making my desire known, regardless of the risk of getting hurt.

  “It’s not safe, Layla. I…I don’t know what he’ll do…” he protests.

  “Then he won’t find out. I’m not going anywhere,” I say with conviction.

  “You…want to be with me…even though no one can know? Even though if my father finds out I can guarantee he’ll make our lives a living hell?” Will’s tone reflects both elation and disbelief.

  “Will, I spent the better part of two years being reminded daily that I wasn’t worthy of anything good. Then I spent three years taking care of my grandfather, both loving him and believing that I was being punished. So, with all due respect to your father, I’ve already been through hell. I won’t let someone else determine my worth anymore. I was recently reminded that I used to be full of audacity. I’m reclaiming that.”

  “I…can’t believe I found you,” Will says brushing my cheek with his hand. “Are you sure you can do this? Hell, I don’t even know how to do this. I’ve never defied him, Layla. But for the first time in my life, I have the uncontrollable urge to do so. I have you to thank for that.” He smiles, taking my hands in his. My heart literally flutters as his skin connects with mine and I’m overwhelmed.

  “Yes. I’m sure. But…the only way it’s going to happen is if we have Luke and Claire on our side. I already told Claire about our conversation at the bar-b-q…and about Holly.” I watch him cringe slightly and can only pray I haven’t broken him a little in the process. “But maybe now that some time has passed, it’ll be different with me?”

  “No offense, but he’s not going to be anything more than cordial to you, if that. He’s certainly not going to look at you as a viable option for me.”

  “Why not?” I know I shouldn’t be, but I’m a bit offended.

  “You’re inconsequential to him,” Will says matter-of-factly.

  “Harsh.”

  “It’s not you. My father only gets to know people he can use to his benefit. You have nothing to offer him, so he’s not going to waste his time. Personally, I think it’s a tragedy not to get to know you.” Will says the last part so sweetly I feel my heart swell. “But you need to really grasp the reality of the situation. I know now that what he pulled with Holly’s family is just the tip of the ice berg of what he’s capable of.” I can see that Will means what he says.

  “So now what?” I ask.

  “Now…we talk with Luke and Claire. I agree with you. The only way this has any chance of survival is if we have their backing.” His whole stance has changed. He’s oozing confidence and strength and my attraction for him skyrockets. He’s commanding and I feel how his protectiveness of me, of us, has becoming priority number one.

  “Does anyone know? I mean, did you say anything to Gwen or Caroline, or the guys? I just wondered if anyone was safe.”

  “Yes. They know. Next to you, they’re the people I trust most. They were here during the whole thing with Holly, so they’re pretty protective of me, but they don’t know the whole story. They know my father paid her dad off, but they don’t know about the threat to wipe them out financially. They just think Holly’s dad was a sucker. I’d like to keep it that way. I don’t want them to worry any more than they already do. They think the world of you and were really supportive of whatever I decided.”

  “What do you mean, whatever you decid
ed?”

  “Well…I decided that I didn’t want to be without you. But, I meant what I said, Layla. If I have to not be with you so that you don’t disappear on me, I’ll do that. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you in my life,” he says, pulling me closer. “Are you still sure you really want to do this?”

  “Yes. I thought about it a lot. This is what I want. You are what I want,” I declare with joy. I love staring into Will’s ocean blue eyes, and now I feel like I’ve been given permission to stare as long as I want. This is my time. My penance has been paid and my reward has just enveloped me in his arms. “I hope it’s ok that I already told Claire.”

  “I would have thought it strange if you hadn’t. I’ve had several conversations with Luke over the past few days. He knows how I feel about you. He’s not completely jazzed about the idea of us being together, mainly because he knows more about my father than most. But…fortunately he likes me, and he’s willing to be supportive. More than that, he loves you and wants you to be happy. Of course, he and Claire don’t know what you’ve decided.”

  I find it romantic that Will has talked with Luke about his feelings for me. It makes me feel good to know that they’re supportive. If this is the journey I think it’s going to be, I may need a shoulder to cry on at some point.

  Luke and Claire are still in the kitchen when we walk in. I know Claire has already talked with Luke, but I still need to explain my decision to be with Will. Luke is more concerned than Claire, but that’s ok. He knows things about Gregory Meyer that no one does and I’m sure he’s more scared than he’s letting on.

  “You need to know that this is not my first choice, Layla. I’d prefer that you not get involved with Will romantically at all. No offense, Will.” Luke makes his position clear while Will nods his understanding. “But Claire and I will support you and help in any way we can. We’d rather know what’s going on than have the two of you sneaking around on us. We must have full disclosure from you both.”

  “What do you mean full disclosure?” I ask.

  “Don’t do anything stupid. Keep us in the loop,” Luke says with a deadpan look. “We can’t help you if you keep anything from us,” Luke says seriously. “It will get messy if Gregory finds out. You need to be prepared.” Messy? What does that mean? I feel like I should be asking more questions but I don’t think I can wrap my head around this fully. I’ll just have to cross each bridge as we get to them.

  We’re lucky that Luke and Claire like Will so much. I don’t think they’d have taken the risk for anyone else.

  Will had already been at the house for hours helping Luke with the basement when I emerged this morning. Our conversation interrupted their progress and Luke declares it’s time to get back to work. I can only imagine the conversation between the two of them as they descend into the basement.

  Will gives me a sweet wink as he passes through the doorway, and Claire and I follow Luke’s lead and return to a level of normalcy by doing the dishes.

  “Are you certain this is what you want, Layla? You’ve been through so much. I just don’t want you to take on anything more than you can handle,” Claire says, looking and sounding more like a mother in this moment than she has before.

  “I haven’t had control over any part of my life since my parents died. When I came here I told myself that this was my opportunity to start over, to revive the Layla that died a slow and painful death. Deciding to be with Will is just about the biggest way I can take back control. I’m so glad we have your support because there is nothing that is going to keep me away from Will. I would hate to lose you and Luke now, just when I got you.” I’ve shocked myself in the assertion of my position. Being that bold is not something that I thought came naturally to me anymore. And while I truly hope I haven’t offended Claire, I am pleased with myself that I didn’t falter.

  “There’s the Weston passion I was looking for.” Claire smiles approvingly, joining us in allegiance.

  I smile back at Claire knowing that I have shown both my resiliency and my heart. I held in so much for so long, any expression like this feels like emotional vomiting. Claire didn’t silence me, or even flinch. I have a feeling she has given her support much more freely than Luke has.

  “You’ve got a few calls to return,” Claire tells me moving us forward into normalcy. “Gwen and Caroline called every day. So did Marcus Reynolds.”

  How I had forgotten about Marcus is beyond me. He’s partly the reason all this came to a head in the first place. I need to talk to him. I was pretty rude to him and I need to apologize.

  “Did he say anything?” I wonder.

  “He said he was sorry and asked you to please call him.” She just looks at me, probably wondering what I’m doing to these poor boys.

  “Did he leave a number?” I ask.

  “He said you could call him at the bookstore…or come by anytime,” Claire says, handing me the keys to her car. Clearly she thinks I need to talk to him in person. The guys are going to be in the basement for a while so I take the keys and decide to go see him after a quick change out of my pajamas. I’ll feel better about apologizing in person anyway.

  I walk into the bookstore and look for Marcus. There’s no one up front and I carry a twinge of hope that he’s not there as I walk in, but about halfway through the store I find him.

  “The security here is a little lax, you know,” I say smiling, trying to make peace.

  “Hey,” Marcus replies, quietly surprised to see me. “I’m glad you came. Layla, I’m so sorry. I got carried away with the information the other day. It’s still painful to think about the whole thing. But like I said, Will’s a good guy. Just be careful, ok?”

  “No, I’m sorry. To be honest with you, I came here looking for answers and it all just blew up in my face. Will told me about Holly and I…well, I guess I just wanted to hear both sides. I’d still like you to tutor me…and I’d still like to be your friend, if the offers still stand,” I smile hopefully.

  “Of course.” Marcus sticks out his hand to shake mine. “Friends?”

  “Friends.”

  “You know, you have a knack of showing up here when I’m getting ready to leave. I’m headed out on a break, you wanna join me?”

  “Um…I don’t have a lot of time, but, sure.” I walk with Marcus to the Soda Shop where we sit outside while he eats lunch.

  “You sure you don’t want anything?” he asks.

  “No, thanks.” I pause, thinking if I should tell Marcus about Will and me or not. He has given such a stern warning about staying just friends with Will that I don’t see him responding well. I decide it isn’t a good idea, and to let Will determine who can and can’t know about us. So I continue to smooth things over with Marcus instead. “I’m really glad things are good between us. I didn’t like how we left things last week,” I say.

  “Me, too. I like you, Layla. I’m looking forward to getting to know you better,” he says.

  “Well there will be plenty of time to get to know me while you spend countless hours saving me from death-by-trigonometry,” I laugh. “I like you, too, Marcus. You know, Will had nothing but nice things to say about you and your family.”

  “Really,” Marcus says, not as a surprised question, but with a tone full of nothing but skepticism.

  “Yeah. He still feels terrible about the whole thing,” I say, cursing myself for not thinking before speaking.

  “Good. He should. He knew his father would flip but he didn’t care,” he says sharply, his demeanor quickly morphing into defensiveness.

  “C’mon, Marcus! Who could predict that his father would do what he did?” I feel myself getting upset. I’m not defending just a friend anymore, and I fully recognize that we can absolutely count on Will’s father flipping on us.

  “You’re right. I’m sorry,” he says, calming himself. “How about we agree not to talk about Will Meyer? We’ll just take any conversation about him completely off the table. Ok?”

  “I think that is an
excellent idea,” I answer, relieved. Will is off limits so I won’t have any reason to tell Marcus anything.

  “When does school start? We can get a jump on that trig…if you want,” he offers.

  “Three weeks, I think. I’ll give you a call and get something set up. Or you can call me…whichever.” I stand up and grab my keys. “I’ve gotta go. Thanks for letting me stop by, Marcus. It means a lot to me that you called, too.”

  “Thanks for coming by. I was afraid I wouldn’t see you again. Don’t be a stranger. You know where to find me,” he says.

  “Bye, Marcus,” I say.

  I walk back to the car and get in. I sit there for a few minutes thinking about Marcus. Everything is going to be ok. I can be friends with him and more with Will. I feel like things are beginning to settle down and fall into place. I have to take Will’s father out of the equation totally. If I focus on him I’ll completely fall apart. With that, I realize that for the first time in a really long time, I’m happy.

  I pull out of the parking lot and get completely twisted around and find myself on a side street somewhere behind the library. As I sit getting my bearings I see that I’m sitting directly in front of the Law Offices of Meyer, Fincher and Marks.

  It’s a beautiful old house that has been converted into an office. There is a round, gazebo-like covered porch, complete with a porch swing, and wooden slats that remind me of fish scales.

  Staring at the house-turned-office space I think about the deals made and the lives torn apart within its walls. As I bring myself back into the moment, I catch movement in my periphery. To the side, near the back of the house I can see the back of Gregory Meyer. He’s directing someone, or thing. He moves just enough to his left to conceal half of his body behind the building, and enough to reveal two men holding another man between them, shuffling mostly into view. That knot in my stomach has returned and I’m frighteningly aware that if I look any longer I may be witness to something no one is supposed to see.

  I want to move, but I can’t. My foot won’t leave the brake. Drive, Layla, drive! Just turn the wheel and get the hell out of here. It’s no use because what happens next happens all too fast. The two men reveal themselves as thugs and begin taking turns punching the slumped mess of a man between them in the gut. It seems to be going on and on and on. Oh my god! Finally the man begins to vomit and the hoods release him into a crumpled mess on the ground, landing in his own sickness. Not that I can hear anything, but I turn the radio up in some attempt to tune out what I’m seeing. I can’t even begin to imagine what this man did or didn’t do to deserve this beating, but whatever it was, it surely was a betrayal that Gregory Meyer was not going to let go unpunished. Perhaps this is what happens when you refuse the House Call offer.