The Lake

by Grant, AnnaLisa

  “I’m sorry. I get worked up when it comes to my dad. And…I’m nervous. You make me nervous,” he says shyly.

  “I make you nervous?” I ask in astonishment. This makes me smile and I relish in this moment before Will speaks again.

  “Layla, this is a big deal, how I feel about you. I don’t want to mess it up.”

  “How I feel about you is a big deal, too. But…I have to warn you, I don’t have a clue what I’m doing.” I turn away from him, embarrassed.

  “Don’t worry. We’re in this together. I promise,” he says lifting my chin with his hand.

  “But your dad…”

  “Layla, it’s not about you. Don’t take this the wrong way, but…you could be anyone. He doesn’t understand me, or any of the choices I make. I told you before that I really like the work I’m doing with your uncle. My dad thinks I’m too smart for that kind of work. He doesn’t understand the satisfaction it brings me, and he certainly won’t understand what I see in you.” His eyes are suddenly brighter – confirmation that his passion is deeper than the number of zeros in his bank account. He quickly changes directions, “Ok. This is decidedly the worst first-date conversation ever! I promise not to be so deep and depressing next time.”

  “You think there’s going to be a next time?” I say, teasing him and helping to lighten the mood.

  “What? You’re not impressed with my moonlight picnic?” He spreads his arms out to feature his handy work.

  “I’m very impressed. You’ve ruined it for any other guy,” I say, laughing with him.

  “I don’t plan on giving any other guy a chance to outdo me.” His passionate stare makes me nervously excited. “I’m…drawn to you, Layla. I’ve never felt that way before. I’m with you and it’s like…lightening in a bottle. I’m sorry that it took tragedy to bring you here, but I am so glad you’re here.”

  I’m filled with so much joy that my whole body tingles. “You make me happy, Will. It’s been a long time since I felt truly happy, so…thank you.”

  “No, thank you. I can’t believe you’re braving so much to be with me.”

  “That’s what you do when you care about someone as much as I care about you.” I smile knowing that my mom would be proud.

  Will picks up his bottle of soda and clanks mine in a toast. We spend the next hours laughing and talking about the important unimportant things in life like favorite colors and foods. We compare embarrassing childhood stories and share the woes and thrills of being only children. It’s hard to talk about my childhood without saying too much about my parents. I’m not ready to tell him everything, and not sure I could get through talking about them without breaking down. But with every moment that passes, I’m thrust into a place of connectivity I didn’t know existed. I hang on every word Will says. I feel wanted with every question he asks, but inadequate with every answer I give. He deserves more than my boring life but doesn’t hesitate once during his inquiry of the details of my life. He wants to know me just as much as I want to know him. There isn’t a second of silence in those hours.

  We eventually pack up the picnic, take our shoes off, and sit at the edge of the dock. He sits so close I can hear his breathing and feel the warmth of his body. It’s intoxicating and I never want to move from his side. I am so completely comfortable in his presence. It’s like this moment was ordained since the beginning of time. I can’t imagine there being anyone better than Will, nor can I imagine anything better than sitting next to him in this very spot at this very moment.

  The moon is brilliant and bright and I’m so in awe of it that I don’t think about what I do next. Without a word, I lay back on the dock to get a fuller, more comfortable view of the moon. Will follows my lead and lies next to me. Then, eyes staring at the incomprehensible glow, he reaches over and quietly slips his hand in mind. This moment is different than in the car. We’ve connected in a deeper, more passionate way since then. A shock surges through my body and I take one solitary deep breath to savor the moment.

  It’s only a few minutes before I am completely overwhelmed. The emotions of everything I’ve been through in the past weeks and months are coming to a head and I can’t stop it from pouring out. I try to fight the tears back, but it’s too much.

  “Layla, are you crying?” He sits up and effortlessly pulls me upright with him. I hate that he’s seeing me cry. I need to be stronger than this.

  “No.” I lie, although I don’t know why since the tears streaming down my face are evident.

  “Did I do something to upset you? I’m sorry,” he says. He’s the only good thing in my life and he thinks he upset me. Impossible.

  “You didn’t do anything, Will. I just…it’s been an overwhelming time in my life. You’ve come to me at just the right moment.” In one smooth motion Will puts his arm around me and draws me to him. I lean against his shoulder and bury my face into his chest finding comfort. His arms wrap around me like a warm blanket and I realize it’s the safest I’ve felt in years. It’s at this exact moment that no matter what happens I know my heart will forever belong to Will Meyer.

  I don’t know how long we’ve been sitting here…me nestled in Will’s embrace. It doesn’t matter. I could rest here forever. At some point it occurs to me that Luke said I needed to be home by midnight. I am home, and I can stay out here with Will, in his arms, all night if I want to, but reality strikes when Will releases me and asks if I’m ok.

  I take a deep breath. “I’m ok. My emotions just got the best of me. I’m so sorry. Who cries on their first date? Seriously! So embarrassing!” I wipe my face and hope my eyes aren’t too puffy.

  Will gently brushes the hair out of my face. “Layla, you can cry, laugh, scream at the top of your lungs, or sit silently with me anytime. If you need to cry, I’m going to catch every tear, and I promise to do my best to never be the cause of a single one.”

  I take a cleansing breath and soak up the compassion in his voice. Its calm tenor penetrates my heart and I feel immediately at ease.

  “It’s pretty late. I should get home,” he sighs, checking his watch. “Wow. It’s 12:30. It’s a good thing I told Luke what I had planned for tonight.”

  “You told him?” I say in surprise.

  “Yes. I felt like if Luke was going to trust me with you I had to be honest with him about everything. We can’t do anything to lose their support,” he says, taking me by the shoulders.

  “I agree.” I sigh, partially from crying, but mainly from simply being in Will’s presence.

  We stand up and put our shoes on and start walking back to the house. We’re halfway up the path when Will needs to turn the flashlight on because the moonlight is no longer enough to sustain our vision. As we walk he takes my hand again, instinctively. It’s magical. We walk around the side of the house and back through the gate, our path lit only by the beam of the flashlight. Will releases my hand only as long as it takes to unlatch the gate and let me through. I don’t hear the crash of metal before our hands are entwined again.

  We reach Will’s car and I stand next to him while he puts the backpack in the passenger seat. I’m waiting to begin our good-byes when Will puts his hand on the small of my back and guides me up the porch steps to the front door. Forever a gentleman.

  He faces me and takes both my hands in his. “I had a really great time with you tonight, Layla. Actually, every moment I spend with you is amazing. I meant what I said. I’m not going anywhere.” He’s intense and holds my gaze while the earth stands still. The wind blows through the trees and crickets chirp, all in a serenade. He pauses and takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to scare you. This is happening kind of fast, huh?” It’s adorable to see Will nervous, as if he has any reason to be anxious. He has no idea that I’m already completely and irrevocably his.

  I hesitate only a moment before I respond because I’ve decided that I’m not going to be scared. I’m not going to hold back on my feelings anymore. “Everything was perfect, Will.” I smile know
ing that there isn’t one ounce of nervousness in me. “And, I’m not going anywhere either.”

  Will has done what I didn’t think was possible. He has delivered me to a place of peace. A place where, with him, I don’t have to be afraid to embrace who I am and what I want. I’m delighted to see him show the smile that has become a ray of hope for me. Hope that I can go on after so much pain. Hope that this girl, who knows more about death than life, can find an existence beyond tragedy. Hope that my penance has been paid and I’m free to live again.

  Will lets go of my hands and wraps his arms around my waist. I intuitively lift my hands up his arms to his shoulders, and in one flawless, fluid motion Will presses his lips to mine. It’s not passionate, but sweet, like a first kiss should be. His lips are soft and smooth and his kiss is gentle. It isn’t awkward, but comfortable, like our lips were made to fit so perfectly together. We linger there for a long moment, which allows me to savor in the perfection of my first kiss.

  Always the gentleman, Will pulls away first. He stares into my eyes and digs a hole into my soul with his gaze. I’m sure he can read my every thought and knows my every emotion. I wish he could. That would mean I wouldn’t have to speak the words that might change how he feels about me. The truth of how I’m responsible for my parents’ death. He’ll need to know, but I can’t tell him yet. I don’t want to wake up from this miraculous dream he has fashioned for me. I’m being selfish, I know, but I don’t care. I just want to stay right here and relish in sharing this amazing moment with him.

  Will shines a satisfied grin and clears his throat, forcing himself to change the subject. “I promised Mr. Weston I’d come by tomorrow to work on the basement.”

  “Oh, yeah, my surprise.” I have to think of something to say even though I’m still lost in the moment of our kiss, still feeling his lips on mine.

  “I really can’t wait to show it to you. Speaking of…how about I start showing you around the city tomorrow when I’m done? This town is crazy with street names, and it’s really easy to get lost if you don’t know where you’re going.” Will still has me by the waist, and we’re still close enough to kiss. Oh how I want to kiss him again.

  “I think Claire wants to show me around, but I’m sure there’s plenty of town to see, so, yeah, that sounds great. But, are you sure it’ll be ok? I mean, what if someone sees us?” I ask nervously. I don’t want anything ruined when things have barely started. He’s being awfully free with the suggestions of us spending time away from the seclusion of the house.

  “I think it’ll be ok. We just can’t have any of this out in the open.” he says, giving my waist a little squeeze. “You’re still new enough here to pass our little tour off as an act of good will on my part. We’ll have some time together and then we’ll get Tyler, Chris and the girls. Sound nice?”

  “It sounds better than nice,” I say. A grin emerges and covers what I feel is the entirety of my face.

  Without releasing my eyes, Will reaches one hand over to open the door for me before letting me go. I take one step toward the door when he stops me. “Thank you, Layla. You have no idea how you’ve changed my life.” He kisses me sweetly on the cheek and walks back to his car. I stand in the doorway and watch him drive away. I miss him already.

  I lock the door behind me and close my eyes, doing my best to relive the last few hours, but more importantly, the last ten minutes. I reluctantly come back to reality and decide I should make sure the back door is locked, too. Luke may have thought we’d come back through the kitchen. I push open the swinging door and startle Luke. We both jump at the sight of each other.

  Luke has the freezer drawer open. Seeing it’s me, he holds up two cartons of ice cream and bribes me. “I’ll give you a scoop if you don’t tell Claire!”

  I walk over to a cabinet and reach down two bowls. “Deal.”

  Chapter 14

  In my weeks of knowing Luke and Claire, I’ve watched them closely. They make a great team, like Mom and Dad, and, if I’m honest, Gram and Gramps. Despite Gram’s propensity for highlighting my eternal punishment, she and Gramps were good together. They adored each other. It was me Gram hated. I see the way Luke looks at Claire, like the way Dad looked at Mom, and Gramps looked at Gram. It makes me wonder if the problem was that the Weston men were too much alike. Whatever the reasons, I don’t need to know them. All that is in the past and Luke has earned my trust. I’m moving forward.

  “How’s your bribery ice cream?” Luke asks.

  “It’s great. Although I might need some chocolate syrup if I’m going to keep this totally ‘hush-hush’,” I say with a smirk.

  Luke drizzles my ice cream with syrup and sits back down. “How was your night?”

  “It was…great. Will told me he filled you in on his plan.”

  “Yeah, Will…he’s a nice kid.” He pauses, choosing his words. Am I about to get the ‘birds and the bees’ talk? Oh, no! I try to think of something to say to change the subject but I’m too late and Luke continues. “Did you know his father has been an attorney for 35 years, and in that time, he has never lost a case?”

  “Impressive.” Random, but at least it isn’t the sex talk.

  “Yes, it is. Do you know why he’s never lost a case?” I shake my head. “He’s never lost a case because Gregory Meyer always wins. He’s an aggressively powerful man who does whatever, and I do mean whatever, it takes to get what he wants.” Luke’s face is serious and his eyes work hard to pierce mine.

  My brow furrows. “Why are you telling me what I already know?” I ask.

  “Apples and trees, Layla,” he says.

  “You know Will isn’t like that, Luke,” my jaw is set. I am immediately angry. “Is there something you’re trying to tell me about Will?”

  “No, but I’ve worked for Gregory Meyer for a long time and I want you to be really clear about the kind of family Will comes from. What Gregory did to Holly’s family is just the tip of the iceberg of what that man is capable of doing. Don’t get me wrong, Layla, I like Will. You wouldn’t be seeing him if I didn’t. I just want you to be careful. It might be more than you’re emotionally ready to handle right now. That’s all I’m saying.”

  My mind races back to the images of the man having his lunch involuntarily removed via a swift beating outside the law firm. I remember how Mr. Meyer stood there as, what I can only assume was his directive, was carried out in front of him. From that, I know that Luke and Will aren’t sugarcoating it in what they’re telling me about Mr. Meyer. Yes, they have all done a thorough job at making sure I’m completely terrified of this man. I know that Will isn’t like that. He does everything to keep himself from being like his father in any way, shape, and form. Luke has spent all this time with Will and somehow doesn’t know that? I’m furious and at a loss for words.

  “Yeah, well…you don’t know anything about Will, and you don’t know anything about me,” I toss my bowl of unfinished ice cream in the sink and am afraid for a split second that it may have been hard enough to break the bowl. When I’m confident that it’s still in one piece I go upstairs, straight to my room.

  I throw myself on my bed, fuming. Why? Why is he doing this to me? I chant in my head. They’ve already given us their support. Haven’t I suffered enough? Don’t I deserve one good thing in my life? Will is the happiness I’ve been waiting for; the happiness I paid for. He is the only thing that has brought me pure joy since before Mom and Dad died.

  I begin to wish that my parents were here so I could ask them what to do. Then I experience the most horrid thought I’ve ever had in my life: I don’t really wish they were here. If they weren’t dead, I wouldn’t be here, and I wouldn’t have Will. Then the most disgusting part emerges. I’m glad they’re all gone because I want Will more than anything else in the world.

  I think I’m going to throw up so I run to the bathroom. I try to heave it out, to get the ugliness of my inner most thoughts out of me, but nothing happens. I take off my clothes in a furious rage and
turn on the shower as hot as I can stand it, and then some. I get in and just stand there, letting the steaming hot water rush over my body. Maybe it will cleanse me somehow. I try to tell myself that it isn’t true; that I would take my parents back in a heartbeat, even if it meant losing Will. But it isn’t true. I want Will and I wouldn’t trade anything that brought me to him. I feel repulsive, like a monster. Maybe my penance hasn’t really been paid. Perhaps this is an extension of my hell. I get to be with Will, but have to live with the knowledge that the ones I loved had to die in order for me to have him.

  The heat begins to dissipate from the water. My skin is red and my fingers are wrinkled. I turn the water off before it becomes too cold and wrap a towel around me. I shake my head to its senses. I am not a monster, I tell myself. I don’t know yet how I will reconcile these feelings, but I am sure of that one thing. I have to believe that my parents would want me to move on. It’s still a revolting thought that I wish I could scrub from my brain. Then I remember what Will said to me just a few short hours ago on the dock. I’m sorry it took a tragedy to get you here, but I’m so glad you’re here.

  What do I do about Luke? I was terrible to him. He’s only trying to protect me. I’m just not used to being protected. Being protected means someone giving you the God’s honest truth because they care more about what happens to you in the long run than what happens in that moment; even if in that moment you are among those most hated in the world. Gram gave me the God’s honest truth, but that was because she wanted me to pay. If there’s one thing I’m clear on, it’s that Luke is not trying to make me pay.

  Luke made it clear he was nervous about me seeing Will, so why did his caution set me off the way it did? He didn’t go back on his support; he just tried to give a clearer picture to what they’ve already been telling me. If Will is working hard to not be like his father, having a better understanding of Gregory Meyer will be important. Right?