by Layla Frost
“I want to taste you,” he murmured, his statement ending on a groan as I shifted up his body, my pussy skimming his hardness.
“Later,” I whispered, kissing his jaw.
His hands went behind me, and I heard the crinkle of the condom wrapper. A few moments later, both his palms landed on my ass in a not-so-gentle spank. He gripped and kneaded the cheeks, his hold growing rougher the more I moaned.
“A gift from the fucking gods,” he growled before devouring my mouth in a soul-searing kiss. His cock was stretched up his stomach, and he slid me back-and-forth, grinding my pussy against the length of it.
Breaking away, I panted, “I need you.”
He lifted my pelvis and positioned his cock at my entrance. “I fucking hope so because…” His words trailed off, but before I could ask what he was going to say, he used his hold to slam me down at the same time he lifted his hips.
The force of the two motions together was enough to have my orgasm hovering around the edges, threatening to shatter me.
In only a few times together, Nate had learned what I liked. He didn’t lie back and make me do all the work. He didn’t take it slow and tentative.
His touch was rough and wild and powerful. He fucked me savagely, nearly bucking me off him. His branding hold on my ass and my clutching grip on his shoulders prevented me from losing my position. And since losing my position would also mean losing his cock, I added the extra measure of pressing my legs tighter to his.
Nate groaned at the squeeze of my muscles. Leaning up, he moved his hands from my ass to my hips. He stretched his thumbs down, using them to spread my pussy lips and give him a view of our connection. His eyes locked on to where I rode him, and I thought I’d burst into flames at the way they heated.
“From the fucking gods,” he bit out harshly. Once again, he showed how well he knew me by stroking up and down rather than side to side. His touch was steady as he let it build to overpowering.
My body trembled. Energy raced through me, making me restless and eager. I rode him harder, chasing the release that his cock and thumb promised.
Neck arched, pussy pulsing, and breath catching, I was vaguely aware of making a small noise before the rest of the world disappeared in a burst of blinding pleasure.
It was just Nate and me.
When it passed, my spent body slumped forward as I gasped for breath. I’d barely caught it when Nate’s hand left my hip to curl around my throat as he held my head up, using enough pressure on the sides to be felt without hurting.
My dazed eyes struggled to meet his when all I wanted to do was close them and get lost in how he made me feel.
“I promised I’d never lie to you,” he said, his voice a rough rumble. “Now you need to promise you won’t run when you hear my truths.”
I worked to focus on his words, and not his cock and thumb between my legs. “What?”
His hand squeezed a little tighter, enough to send a rush of awareness and burning heat through me. “Give me the chance to explain.”
I’d have agreed to anything in that moment.
My mouth fell open as I licked my dry lips, my breathing increasing. “Yeah, okay.”
Another squeeze, another rush of wicked desire, and another quickly building orgasm.
“Never,” he gritted out between clenched teeth, “leave.”
Nate continued speaking, possessive claims and lust filled ramblings, but the words were lost in the whooshing that filled my ears.
He fucked me relentlessly, not giving me the chance to get my bearings so I could meet his thrusts. There was no gradual build. No slowly approaching the edge. I was thrown over it, my entire body flung into nothingness as another orgasm tore through me.
My small cry mixed with Nate’s grunts as his movements became erratic and he came, moaning my name.
When my body went slack, he released his hold on me, and I collapsed forward, my forehead landing on his chest. Our bodies still connected, he held me to him, stroking up and down my spine. As if sensing my next move, he dropped his arms so I could roll to the side.
My brain was already racing, trying to decide which conversation to start with. There was a lot we needed to talk about, from where the books came from to why he was so insistent on me not leaving.
What was growing between us was more than just him trying to nut and bolt. More than a jizz and jet. More than ejaculate and evacuate.
Even knowing we were starting something major, the urgency in his tone had been unexpected.
When my head hit the pillow, however, the sleepless nights caught up with me. My mind may have been wide awake, but my body had hit a wall.
“We’re not done here,” I murmured, curling up with a pillow.
“Thank the gods.” His lips brushed against my cheek, his hand trailing up my side. “I hope the day never comes when you don’t crave me like I crave you.”
“I meant we have to talk. But we can do this again, too.” There was an ache between my legs and my ass cheeks were sore from where his fingertips had dug in. “Definitely doing it again. Give me a month or so to recover.”
His hand on my side brushed forward, grazing my tit and nipple. “How about a few hours?”
“Deal.” I yawned, unable to pry my eyes open. “We’re talking first, though. I just need a little rest.” When the bed shifted, I reached for him. “Stay with me.”
“Always,” he whispered. “I just have to throw out the condom.”
I released my hold and drifted in the space between consciousness and sleep until I felt him curl up behind me.
Only once he was settled did I fall into a much-needed, deep sleep.
Chapter Eighteen
A Warehouse of Emotions
Denny
JOLTING AWAKE, I REACHED behind me to confirm what I already knew.
I was alone.
My eyes were still heavy, my body more than willing to sink back into bed and resume my interrupted sleep. Peering at the clock, I saw I’d only been asleep for an hour.
Everyone knows a good nap is two hours.
Minimum.
Since I hadn’t woken naturally, refreshed and ready to start the… afternoon, I tried to figure out what had caused the sudden wake-up call.
There was a low rumble of voices, but I couldn’t tell who they were.
Maybe Lula came by. Or Juno. Or the neighborhood watch men are still recruiting before they retire to someone’s garage to drink beer and bitch.
Sluggishly, I rolled out of bed and kicked around my clothes, trying to catch them instead of having to bend over.
I jumped when a loud curse came from downstairs, but my heart practically stopped when it was followed by a quieter yet infinitely scarier one.
Hurrying, I threw on a mismatched pair of PJ shorts and top.
I was in the hall when I heard Nate harshly order, “You need to leave.”
“And you need to make me.”
I recognize that voice and snotty, immature comeback.
What the hell is he doing here?
I was halfway down the stairs when I saw him standing in the living room.
Seth.
World class bastard and douchebag extraordinaire.
He still looked the same. The top of his blond hair was long, but the sides were buzzed short, courtesy of a standing weekly appointment. His jaw was covered with a strategically chosen length of stubble, giving the impression that he’d just rolled out of bed and happened to look so good.
It was all a lie.
He was the high-maintenance version of macho dishevelment.
“Hey, what’re you doing here?” I worked to keep my tone nonchalant instead of packed full of what-the-fuckery like I wanted. Seth was perceptive. If I let it show I was bothered, he would think he was still under my skin.
A couple months ago, he may have been. Not in an erotic way, just like how a tick or ringworm is under it.
But he didn’t even have the power to bother me like that
anymore.
Seth’s green eyes landed on my braless chest. They narrowed before shooting up to glare at me. “So it’s true.”
“What’s true?”
“You’re seeing someone else. Sleeping with him.”
“Seth—”
“Yes,” Nate said at the same time. “Now leave.”
I walked right to Nate, my hand resting on his abs as I looked up at him. “I need coffee.”
His eyes darted to Seth, a vicious scowl twisting his features before he looked down at me and softened. Brushing a kiss to my waiting lips, he nodded and walked into the kitchen.
“Who is—”
“Why are you here?” I asked again.
“I came to see you.” Perfectly shaped lips curved up, showing perfectly straight and whitened teeth. His nose was also perfectly straight, no appealing crookedness like Nate’s.
“Why?” I pushed.
“Because I miss you, Haden. I’ve been thinking a lot about us, and it’s time we try again.”
I bit back my laughter, once again not wanting to give him anything to latch onto. “That’s not happening.”
Genuine shock raised Seth’s brows, his smile faltering. He’d clearly expected to waltz in and have me throw myself at him. My refusal left him temporarily speechless.
Too temporarily.
“But… Look, I know we ended on uneasy terms,” he said, pausing as Nate returned and handed me my favorite coffee mug. Full of the passive-aggressiveness I knew and loathed, he sighed. “Do you mind?”
“Nope.” Shooting me a wink, Nate flopped onto the couch. He slouched down, his arms spanning the back and his knees spread in a casual position. His silent presence made a statement.
I was in control, but he had my back.
I wanna climb onto his lap and ride his cock like my next breath depends on it.
“Haden,” Seth called, pulling my thoughts from the gutter and dumping ice water on my flaming libido. “We can take it slow, but I think we owe it to ourselves to try again.”
“How did you know I was seeing someone?” I asked.
His eyes got shifty. “What?”
“You said it was true I was seeing someone. How did you know?”
“One of my patients told me.”
“How would they know?”
“He saw you dancing.” Jealousy and awe mixed in his expression as he looked between Nate and me. “At the store. Is it true?”
I’d lived under a microscope most of my life. When Nate had been The Voice, I’d liked him, but I’d still wanted him gone so I wouldn’t have to worry my every move was being monitored again.
I didn’t like Seth, and I sure as hell didn’t want him keeping tabs on me.
Not to mention, that meant two people had been watching me while I shopped. I wondered if it was really a coincidence, but Hale’s man had left by the time Nate and I danced.
Skeeved out didn’t begin to explain how I was feeling.
My brows furrowed. “How would he even know who I was?”
“I have that picture of us at Lula’s birthday on my desk.”
I suppressed a grimace. “Why?”
“Because I knew we’d get back together.”
Ignoring the ludicrousness of that statement, I was about to tell him to leave when I realized he was still in his work attire. His green button-down was tucked into his dark gray slacks, the sleeves rolled meticulously in another show of artful disarray. His tie was strategically loosened, the thick knot one of those fancy ones that took about twenty steps to perfect.
“You came from work. Did you just see this patient?” I asked.
His eyes widened in surprise that little ol’ me was able to put the two together.
As always, the pompous douche underestimated me.
“Yes, but—” he started, already on the defensive.
“So, this is less about you thinking this through and wanting to reconcile, and more about your knee-jerk reaction to finding out I’ve moved on.”
For some insane reason, Seth’s gaze shot to Nate’s, as though he’d help him out.
Nate just chuckled, shaking his head as he looked up at the ceiling.
“No, that’s not it,” Seth said, using his shrink voice. “I knew we’d get back together, hence why I kept our picture on my desk. When the patient told me he’d seen you at the store, dancing and hanging onto some…” he grimaced, “man, I knew you were fixed. That it was time.”
“‘Fixed’?” My voice was deceptively calm.
Seth had the good sense to look contrite. A visible swallow was added when Nate snarled a curse.
I glanced at Nate, expecting to see him standing, about to get in Seth’s face. He had sat up, but his focus was on me. Assessing my emotions.
Waiting to see what I needed.
But he was already doing it.
He’s so getting laid as soon as I get this douche-canoe sailing out of my life.
“Haden,” Seth started, his shrink voice in full effect as he raised his hands, trying to placate me. “You know that’s not what I meant. But there were reasons we didn’t work—”
“Yup, you were a condescending asshole.”
“Name calling accomplishes nothing,” he chided. “I’m talking about your fear of intimacy and rejection.” He glanced at Nate before stepping closer to me. “You’ve obviously made progress. I can help with the rest.”
“Are you out of your mind? I’m with Nate. I’ve made,” I lifted my hands in air quotes as I rolled my eyes, “‘progress’ because of Nate.”
“It’ll never last between you two. It won’t last with anyone who isn’t equipped to handle you.”
Handle me?
Am I a wild animal?
Even his expression was condescending as he launched into a description of myself, as though I didn’t know who I was. “The way you hold back emotionally and physically. How normal affection makes you uncomfortable.” His green eyes darkened, heat and lust filling them. “Other men won’t know how to take it when you push them off of you after sex.”
I do that?
Okay, he’s got me there.
His voice lowered. “Or how you can only get off when you’re on top, and then you immediately pull away.”
“That’s not—”
Tilting his head toward Nate, Seth said, “Even if he’s willing to stick around, you’ll be done with him as soon as he messes up. Your feelings will change, and you’ll distance yourself, growing colder until there’s no coming back. He’ll inevitably let you down because no one’s perfect. And once he does, that’ll be it for you. Because in your mind, unless they’re perfect, they’re going to hurt you. So you leave before they have the chance. It’s what you do, Haden.”
Seth’s words replayed in my head and a realization hit.
I closed my eyes, searching deep. My mind’s eye hunted through a warehouse of emotions for the imaginary box with Seth’s name on it. Finding it, I opened the lid and peeked inside to confirm what I already knew.
It was empty.
I was all out of fucks to give him.
The only reason his words had any impact on me were because they were spoken in front of Nate. I worried how he felt about my baggage.
And I needed Seth gone so I could find out.
I opened my mouth to speak, but Nate beat me to it. “Denny.”
Seth’s head tilted, and we both asked, “What?”
Nate stood and wrapped his arms around my stomach, pulling me closer until he literally had my back covered. “Her name’s Denny. Not Haden.”
I’d told Seth the same thing countless times, but he’d always ignored me. To him, Denny was a child’s name, and I was an adult. He didn’t care how much I hated it.
But Nate did. One time telling him, and he never called me it again.
“I think you should leave,” I told Seth.
He straightened, looking ready to argue, but all he said was, “I think I should leave.” His features twisted
, his movements wooden as he turned and walked out the door.
Dislodging myself from Nate’s hold, I rushed to lock the door before skewering him with a look. “Did you make him do that?”
He shook his head, his brow furrowed. “No, but I was about to ask if I could.”
“I’d have let you.” Wrapping my arms around myself, apprehension filled me as I waited for the other shoe to drop—waited for Nate to tell me I was more than he could handle. Or for him to make an excuse and leave for good.
Logically, I knew neither was likely, but as he studied me, my emotions ran amok.
“Chinese, Thai, or pizza for dinner?” he asked finally.
“What?”
“I’m hungry.”
“Thai,” I mumbled, still confused.
Taking the stairs two at a time, Nate returned a moment later with my cell. “Your usual?” At my nod, he called and placed an order triple the size of my normal one.
And since I was a fan of leftovers, my normal order was already large.
He tossed my phone on the small table before grabbing my hand and tugging. He sat on the couch and positioned me to straddle him, his hands rubbing my thighs. He didn’t say anything, once again letting me decide what I needed.
I loved that about him.
I loved a lot about him.
“That was my ex,” I explained.
Nate’s nostrils flared and his jaw clenched, but his tone was soft. “I figured.”
“Last fall was my final semester of school. I was a little panicked about being on my own and feeling… different. So I decided to see a psychiatrist.”
“The bastard?”
I nodded. “He was doing his residency at a clinic near campus. It was hard to schedule around my classes, so I only had two appointments. I ran into him a couple weeks after I stopped going, and he asked me out.”
The whole thing had been unprofessional—and likely unethical—but I hadn’t cared since he was hot and sweet.
At the time, at least.
“Anyway, we dated for a while, but he wanted more of my attention and time. He was needy and I’m more… detached. It didn’t work. When he ended things, I wasn’t too broken up. Especially since my focus was on my grandmother’s passing.”