by Layla Frost
Pain sliced across his face, but he asked, “And you haven’t seen him since?”
I shook my head. Lowering my gaze, I began fidgeting with the zipper of his hoodie before blurting out, “Do I push away after sex?”
His answer was immediate. “Yes.”
“Why didn’t you tell me so I could work on it? So I could fix it?”
His hands gripped mine, placing them on his chest. “Because there isn’t anything to fix. You like your space. Nothing wrong with that. You always roll back over and wrap your body around mine. What do I have to complain about?”
“I didn’t grow up with a lot of physical affection,” I shared. “It makes me uncomfortable.” At his quirked brow, I thought about how often I initiated contact. Touching him. Moving close so he’d touch me. “Except with you.”
“Except with me.” Nate’s eyes heated, his cock growing hard beneath me. Gripping my hips, he rocked me against him. “And we already know I have no issue getting you off in other positions.”
“No,” I gasped. “Definitely no problems there.”
“The man is an idiot and a fool, for which I’m grateful. Because now you’re mine. Which means I can spend the rest of my days showing you there’s nothing to fix.”
“The rest of your d-days?” I stammered as his large hand palmed my tit, tweaking my nipple through the thin fabric.
“And after. Long after.”
His words should have scared me, sending me into a tailspin of inappropriate jokes and demanded distance.
But he was right.
With him, I didn’t feel the need for more space. Not emotionally and definitely not physically.
My hips began to rock as I moved to grip the button of his jeans. Before I could undo them, his hands stilled mine.
“We need to talk,” he murmured, his gaze on my mouth.
“Later.” I gripped his hard-on through his pants, rubbing its long length.
“You said that earlier,” he grunted, his hips rising.
“Then later-er.”
With a groan of frustration, he moved my hands away before gripping my hips to halt my undulating. “Now, my little hellion.”
“What could be so important—”
“I have my memories back.”
I stopped fighting against his hold, stunned. Excitement with a side order of trepidation raced through me. “You do? That’s amazing. Isn’t it? You know who you are?” At his nod, I grinned. “Who?”
“Thanatos.”
I pointed at his chest and then the side of my head. “And I called you Nate! I’m a naming genius.”
“Have you ever heard of Thanatos?”
“No,” I drawled, growing nervous at his guarded expression. “Should I have?”
“It’s likely you know me by my other name.”
My heart raced, pounding so loud in my chest, I was sure the neighbors could hear. Unable to even form any wild scenarios to leap to, I simply braced. “You’re freaking me out. Just tell me.”
“Death.”
I waited for him to smile and tell me he was kidding, but he didn’t.
“Run that by me again,” I said, breathy and high-pitched.
“I’m Death,” he said at the same time as someone pounded at the door.
Shocked and startled, I jumped up and lost my balance, falling with a thud.
Hell.
And Death, apparently.
Chapter Nineteen
Knock, Knock. Who’s There?
Nate
SITTING AT THE KITCHEN TABLE, I watched Denny pace.
Every once in a while, she’d pause to look at me before mumbling something unintelligible and resuming her strides.
I spooned more food onto my plate, digging in with the ravenous hunger of someone who hadn’t eaten much in hundreds of years.
Which, for me, was true.
I was pleased with how food had improved. Seasonings and spices went a long way toward making a meal enjoyable.
“How can you eat at a time like this?” Denny asked, throwing her hands up. It made her tits bounce, which was enough to distract me from my meal. “You’re Death. I mean, I’d think you were insane and in need of a visit with Dr. Malik, but after everything I’ve seen lately, I’m guessing it’s safe for me to just roll with this. You’re. Death.”
“I am.”
Her voice raised a few more octaves. “Then how can you eat right now?”
I swallowed my mouthful of curry beef. “I’ve been Death for a millennium or so. I may have just remembered who I am, but it’s not a shock.”
“A millennium? Wow. I mean, I know I have a thing for older men, but sheesh. This is a little extreme, even for me.”
“My little hellion, you’re getting hysterical.”
“Oh, it’s hysterical all right. Yup, a laugh-fucking-riot. I know I always claimed to be cursed, but I thought I was being dramatic. Now the guy I’m in… whatever with, is Death. Cloaks and scythes, the whole nine.”
“I’m not much for cloaks.”
“You’re pretty fond of hoodies,” she shot back.
She had a point.
“Well, I don’t have a scythe.”
With me.
“Just imagine how much easier yard work would be,” she said with a snort.
There was much more we needed to discuss. Things about who I was.
Things about who she was.
Once I told her everything, there’d be no going back. Her life would never be the same, and I didn’t know how she’d respond.
Especially when it came to him.
If she gets too upset, I’ll stop for now.
It won’t do either of us any good if she runs off into the night.
“We need to talk,” I said guardedly, watching her face.
Denny halted, her face paling. “There’s more, isn’t there? There’s always more. Is it about how you got the books?”
“We can start there.” Pushing my food away, I turned to the side and gestured for her to come closer. Once she was within reach, I grabbed her hips but kept my hold loose in case she needed space. “I owe you an apology.”
“You’ve said that, but I don’t get why.”
“I’ve been trapped in this house for three hundred and twenty-five years. And nine months,” I added with a smirk, “but who’s counting?”
Her hand cupped my cheek, and I took a moment to lean into her touch. I feared it might be a while before I felt it again.
“That’s so long,” she whispered.
“It was. At first, I was confused but determined to figure out who I was and why I was here. I’m not sure how much time passed, but it was years and years before I accepted it was my fate. Instead of spending each day racking my brain and raging against whatever force kept me in place, I grew complacent. I settled in and tried to make the best of things.”
Denny’s blue eyes, so pale and mesmerizing, showed her every emotion. Pity, which I could do without. Understanding and tenderness, which I clung to.
“But after a few hundred years,” I continued, “even that wasn’t enough. I gave up. I wished for death.” My lips curved up as I tried to lighten what I’d just said. “Ironic, right?”
My attempt at humor didn’t work, pain and sadness filling Denny. It shined from her eyes and radiated from her soul.
“Hey,” I whispered, moving my thumbs under her shirt to stroke her soft skin. “It all worked out, right?”
Her breath caught as she blinked back tears. “Right.”
“It’s not an excuse. I was selfish, wallowing in my own pain and frustration. I took advantage of your grandma’s thoughtfulness. My life became minimally bearable because I was able to pass my days reading and watching what she left for me. But when I had the chance to help, I did nothing.”
Denny gasped. “When she died?”
“No.” I shook my head. “No, no, no. That was… peaceful. She passed in her sleep.”
Her eyes narrowed, her hands going to
her hips above mine. “That’s what people always say to make the family feel better.”
“I promised I’d never lie to you, my little hellion. I wasn’t in the room, but I knew when it happened. There was nothing but peace.”
“Good,” she choked out. After a moment of rapid blinking, she asked, “Then how didn’t you help?”
My fingertips dug in as I admitted, “I stood by as your father destroyed or sold all her belongings.” When Denny didn’t start screaming and cursing me, I continued. “I think she knew her time was nearly up. She’d scheduled meetings with her lawyer and the insurance company to update the record of her belongings, but she passed before they happened. She kept putting boxes in the library, saying out loud that they were for you.” Guilt ate at me, and I looked down at the floor before meeting her eyes. “She was talking to me, but my head was lodged firmly up my ass. I didn’t pay attention. After she passed, before the lawyers came to gather the estate, your father… he…”
Denny nodded, tears slowly trailing down her cheeks. Her eyes were haunted. “I know what he did. He took great pleasure in telling me.”
“I could’ve stopped him. I was supposed to stop him. Eve had been asking me to. When I saw him loading up his car, I went outside, but only because I’d thought maybe with Eve gone—”
“You’d be able to leave, too.” Her voice wasn’t cold, but it was far from its usual warmth.
It was numb.
I nodded. “I’d allowed myself to hope, but I could get no farther than the edge of the porch. I couldn’t even take one damn step down. When the smell of burning books wafted from the fireplace, I didn’t give your father a second glance. I returned to my spot in the basement and screamed, begging for death.”
Long moments passed in silence. The pain and sadness in Denny’s expression slowly morphed to anger then rage. My hold tightened, and I tugged her closer, fearing she’d run.
But she moved closer still, her hatred aimed at someone else.
“That son of a bitch.” She laughed, but the sound was humorless and cold. “Wait, no, that’s an insult to my grandma. So is bastard. That fucker. Stupid, evil fucker.”
“I promise, I’ll replace the rest—”
“You don’t have to. I’ll fill the rest of the space with my own books.” Her hand cupped my face, stroking across my beard. “I don’t blame you. You’re not the one who lit the match.”
“But I could’ve stopped it.”
Tenderness and understanding warmed her gaze. “You were dealing with unfathomable pain and an agonizing future. With all that on your plate, I’m surprised you even noticed the books. I wouldn’t have, and I’m the one with the emotional attachment to them. That you feel such strong guilt and went through the hassle of hunting down copies shows that you’re anything but selfish.”
Closing my eyes, I rested my head on her stomach and took a moment to enjoy the peace she brought me.
“I knew he did all that—or guessed some of it, at least. None of his actions are your fault. Trust me, he’s always been an asshole.” Denny sniffled a few times before releasing a small giggle. “You had me all freaked out for nothing.”
Inhaling deeply, I leaned back and met her gaze.
Her smile fell. “Hell, there’s more.”
“It can wait,” I offered, hoping she’d be willing to put it off for a day or fifty… years.
“Might as well get it all out there.” Her shoulders pushed back as she braced. “Hit me with it.”
Fuck, she’s strong.
I wanted to take her to bed and bury myself so deep, I wouldn’t know where I ended and she began. We’d forget all this.
Forget the world.
Forget about the darkness that was coming.
But she deserved to know. Needed to. Keeping secrets may have been easier for her at that point, but it did her no favors in the long run. She needed to deal with it and prepare.
I opened my mouth, unsure where to start. Before I could decide, there was a knock on the front door. The knock was clearly for show, because the door opened right after.
“If you’re naked, put some clothes on. Or maybe not. It’ll make this less monotonous.”
Denny’s head dropped back and she muttered, “Lula. I forgot.”
Carrying stacked boxes, Lula came into the kitchen, speaking words I wasn’t paying attention to because my focus was on Denny moving from me to help.
I missed her between my legs.
I wanted to be between hers.
“Um, is this still a good time?” Lula asked.
“Yeah, of course,” Denny said, closing the takeout containers.
I swiped one, hoarding it to my chest.
“Sorry, were you still working on eating your weight in Thai food?” she teased.
“Only half my weight. And the rest can wait.” My voice lowered. “I think I’ll be hungry later.”
Biting her lip, her eyes lit. “I bet we both will.”
“Seriously, I can come back in an hour,” Lula volunteered. “Or five minutes. I don’t judge.”
Denny laughed. “Yes, you do.”
“Okay, I do.”
Together, they cleared the table of everything but the container of chicken coconut fried rice I’d pilfered.
As Lula began unpacking the boxes she’d carried in, Denny’s face squished up. “I’m sorry, I didn’t get those big popsicle sticks. I stopped my errands early and was going to go back out, but—”
“Whoa.” Lula paused to look at Denny. “You broke from schedule?”
“Yes, but that’s not the important part.”
“That’s pretty damn important.”
“My phone was dead, and I was exhausted. We both needed a recharge.”
Lula tried to hide her smile, her eye darting to me then back to Denny. “Oh, I’m sure you did.”
Denny didn’t even try to hold back her own satisfied smile. “I did nap after, though.”
Compared to three hundred years ago, there were a lot of changes I enjoyed. Cars—which I greatly anticipated driving. TV and movies were amazing. I looked forward to seeing one in the theater with butter covered popcorn—a date I’d planned to take Denny on that night.
Food was incomparable. Sometimes, like with the frosted pastries that tasted like sugared cardboard, that was a bad thing. But when it came to the variety of different cuisines available within a short drive, it was a very good thing.
Clothes were on their own level. Because I’d seen them on TV for so many years, I hadn’t been surprised by the styles or convenience. The feeling of the fabric, however, had shocked me. Nothing was rough or scratchy. Soft blends of mixed fabrics made the clothing comfortable. And Denny was correct…
I enjoyed the hoodies.
The world itself was unrecognizable. When my memories were gone, I’d had nothing to compare it to.
The difference was staggering.
Buildings upon buildings filled all the available space, knocking out what had once been lush trees and fields. The colors were muted, smog and pollution clinging in the air like a physical barrier.
Even with all the things that were worse, I had a much, much longer list of ways the world had improved. At the top of that list was Denny.
Everything about her was the antithesis to women of the past. She made no excuses for who she was and what she liked. She dressed, talked, and worked how she wanted. Her enjoyment of sex wasn’t hidden or cause for shame.
She was who she was, and that, all of that, I found perfect.
But if I was stupid enough to think otherwise, she’d have no problem giving me the finger and telling me to move on.
I didn’t have to worry about that, though.
I loved her exactly as she was.
“He kinda left me no choice but to jump his bones, seeing as he replaced almost half of Grandma’s books.” Her smile was bright and proud. “Put them in the correct order and everything.”
“You’re kidding. Not the origin
als, right?”
I watched for Denny’s smile to falter, but it didn’t. If anything, it grew. “Nope, but that’s okay. Maybe even better.”
Whistling low, Lula looked at me. “Man, you nailed it. Good job.”
“But then Seth showed up and ruined the afterglow,” Denny said, disgruntled and exasperated. “Well, ruined my nap afterglow.”
“Tell me you’re joking.” Lula’s face twisted in rage for her best friend. “Why was that dumb motherfucker here?”
Denny shrugged. “He thought I was ‘fixed’ and ready to get back together.”
“He’s an idiot. What is there to fix? He’s seriously the fucking worst.”
“I know. Just waltzed in, said we should get back together, and when I said no, he left.”
“I don’t trust him,” Lula said, echoing my own thoughts.
“He’s just pissy because someone new is playing with a toy he discarded. He’ll get over it and move on.”
Although she stayed silent, Lula’s expression said plenty.
She thinks he’ll be back.
I gave her a small nod. Even if he showed, he wouldn’t get far.
Lula pulled a plastic wrapped bundle from a box. “Anyway, I was able to find some sticks. And,” she lifted a bottle of rum, “this magically jumped into my cart.”
“How convenient.” Denny grabbed some glasses from the cupboard.
When she held one out to me, I shook my head.
“Oh, yeah, you can’t get drunk.” She put the glass back. “Kind of a waste then, huh?”
“You can’t?” Lula poured a hefty amount of rum before adding ice and pineapple soda. “That’s a bummer.”
“Well, there’s good reason.”
I tensed. “Denny…”
At my warning, she moved between my spread legs again. Leaning down to my ear, her voice lowered to a whisper. “If you don’t want me to tell her who you are, I won’t. I’d never betray your trust. I’ve just always told her everything. She doesn’t have to know about you, but you can keep talking about the stuff to do with me.”
When she straightened, I reached up and tucked her hair behind her ear. I didn’t miss the way her eyes drifted close or the tremor that ran through her body. “You can tell her anything and everything, my love.” Her eyes shot open, but I kept going. “It’s not me I’m worried about. My concern is for you. There’s no way to know how she’ll respond or how it’ll affect your friendship.” Memories hit me suddenly, like a jagged knife twisting in my back. Betrayal sat bitter on my tongue. “Sometimes those you think you can trust are the ones who hurt you most.”