Damned

by K R Leikvoll

  The heart was beating faster the closer she grew, like an animal awaiting slaughter. Sendrys reached out her free hand in its direction. The pounding was getting louder with each passing second, nearly drowning everything else out completely.

  “Run!” Cyndre commanded to her allies. I hardly heard it, but it drew my attention. She was at the edge of the clearing on the opposite side watching the events unfold, horrified. The Kaz’moran did as they were ordered. All of them – even the Rel’dali – scrambled in an official retreat further south.

  “Casehe apa baleta,” Sendrys continued to drone. She planted her hand firmly on the rapidly thumping device. Violet, electrical winds kicked up when they made contact. All of the black spores surrounding us were blown into the air where it would be sent far and wide. Sendrys raised Famine above her.

  “Zozor! Hoathane oz viapera, Azotl!”

  A massive bolt of lightning crashed down from the heavens. It decimated the canopy and trees hiding the stars. It was utterly white hot, throwing me back further than I care to remember. My bones broke and were forced to heal – my mind felt fried. I almost did not notice the blaze that had begun to swallow the jungle from above.

  The electrical current did not fade from the singular strike. Rather, when it came into contact with the plague device, they connected, creating a beam of light that cascaded into the heavens. It was accompanied by the sound of screaming. Whether it was from the Void itself, my demons eating and destroying the Kaz’morans, or simply my hearing being momentarily damaged, I did not know.

  The energy was so great, I felt helpless figuring out what I needed to do. Obviously, I needed to move out of harm’s way and rejoin my forces. It was the moving part that was difficult. My body shuddered horribly, and my voice quivered, though I am not sure what words I wished to speak. Gradelkine’s pathetic electrical tricks were nothing in comparison. Shadow magic had a far greater threshold for power.

  Suddenly, the beam was shut off. The pounding ceased. The screams echoed and quieted. I hesitantly, painfully climbed to my feet. Sendrys craned her face toward the sky and closed her eyes.

  “Vavi zo oro,” she uttered, conclusively.

  The plague device detonated in a burst of spores and toxins – it exploded in the shape of a massive mushroom cloud. It was the worst smell I have ever encountered in my lifetime. Nothing can truly be worse. It was enough to make me instantly vomit, and I considered myself to have an iron stomach.

  I wiped off my mouth with a grimace and shielded my eyes. Even with my demonic sight, I could hardly make out Sendrys’ form returning to my side through the spores. She was still channeling the full potential of her weapon, nearly as inhuman as the rest of my demons from Heresy. Famine was certainly mastered by her, rather than the other way around – how it seemed with War. Once I came out of my daze, I could hear disarray in the distance. The Infernal Army had made contact with the Kaz’moran. It was an absolute grace that my demonic children, Typhlon and Yuelle were intelligent enough to fall back north. Varnoc and Lydris might have survived it, but the latter wouldn’t have stood a chance.

  “The Kaedan plague has been released, my Queen. It will destroy our enemies – all of them,” Sendrys stated, kneeling at my feet. She was far more composed than I was; it was almost embarrassing. “And Praetis shall learn the glory of Naazvaba.”

  Everything was an unorganized disorder for days following the plague device’s activation – or should I say, destruction. I chased down and killed as many Kaz’moran warriors and Rel’dali I could before the gritty mist became too much. It was non-toxic to me, of course, but it still irritated my eyes, nasal passage and throat to the highest degree. I was unsure how Sendrys managed to remain in the conflict longer than me, not returning to our makeshift camp in northern Kaza’mae until I had been there for nearly four days. She had been drunk off of sacrifice; it was necessary for her to repay her debts fully. Famine may have gifted the wielder with tenfold strength, but she owed tenfold in return.

  Typhlon and Yuelle were both confined to separate tents for their own protection. Varnoc, and the worm oddly enough, had cast spells to keep them from being infected by the spores. It was smart thinking, otherwise I would have returned to them both long dead.

  I was washing the filth of Kaz’moran blood and soft, corrupted fungi from my skin in the Laoi River. It led directly to the bit of ocean separating Kaza’mae from Evya, and was the location Sendrys’ ship awaited her. She emerged from the brush, worn and exhausted, but her eyes were still as dark as night.

  “They fled for the southern ocean. It is no matter – none will make it through the storm,” she told me, sitting near the edge of the water to soak her feet. “Did you wish for intimacy with your kin before we depart?”

  I shuddered and almost gagged from the thought, shooting her a glare and shaking my head no. It would distress Lydris to leave without a romp for the ride, and the thought gave me more pleasure than he could ever hope to.

  “If you should die at the hands of those disgusting Naadeans… may you die in glory.”

  She laughed as if the very idea was preposterous while I climbed out of the water and into my only robe. Her attitude grew serious once I sat beside her, however.

  “What is it?”

  “Have you wondered how Cyndre Vakaya knew we were coming?” she asked with a raised brow. “She is Evyan and there is an ocean between these countries.”

  “Of course I’ve wondered, but I am ignorant to her array of abilities. She could have flown over on a katoma for all I know –”

  Sendrys interrupted me by pulling a folded square of parchment. I was puzzled, taking it from her and examining the seal. It was an “A” formed of twisting tree roots – the mark of the Ash family. My mind immediately wandered to wretched Alexandra.

  I tore it open and unfolded it impatiently. The sloppy, handwritten note read:

  “Yuelle,

  I hope you made up your mind. You might be the only one that can give us insight into Vincent’s plots – you could even save the world. If the light still calls to you, meet my contact after you cross the border. She will tell you what to do next, -Alexandra.”

  My hands shook with fury. My vision went temporarily black and I couldn’t think. I did not know who I loathed worse: Alexandra, my evasive rival, Cyndre, my forgotten sister, or Yuelle, the woman who shattered my heart. I felt so betrayed – so disgusted with myself for being so foolish. Even thinking of it now stirs violent emotions in me.

  I screamed, standing and punching at the air in my fit. A shockwave sailed through the water and part of the terrain, demolishing the trees and brush in its path. My hands pulled at my hair and I collapsed back to my knees, fighting my mind. It felt worse than when I was forced to kill Illyswen. Not truly, but I find that was the point in my life where I could no longer handle loss or betrayal with some semblance of rationality. Yuelle was supposed to be a way to cope with my lack of control I had over my life.

  “Wait to punish her,” Sendrys advised. “Just until we leave. Fevith, Devith and the worm would try to take part. I can sense you would rather deal with this alone, or am I wrong?”

  I was still incapable of forming words or thoughts beyond wrathful gibberish. I just waved my hand at her and buried my face into my knees.

  Why? Why is Praetis so perfidious? I cannot stand this disgusting place another moment!

  “Then recreate the world in the Void’s image, prophet.”

  Lord Nakarius always knew what to say.

  “I want you to have these. I have no use for them anymore. Weapons are meaningless to me,” Sendrys interjected, interrupting my fit. She thrust two daggers in my hand that seemed to glow with magical intent. “They will damn any souls they slay to the Void. May they serve you well in my absence, my Queen.”

  I was gathering quite the arsenal of deadly weapons. Despite my anguish, I accepted them graciously and added them to my belt. They would indeed serve me well without the dark necromancer’s
presence.

  After I composed myself and made my way back to the camp. Sendrys and her demonic children were prepared to depart, but, of course, Lydris was digging in his heels. He needed to see me first, apparently. I was so out of sorts, I hardly cared he was leaving, bond or not. His hands gripped mine – much stronger than they used to be – when he saw Sendrys beckoning him to follow.

  “I get nothing before my long trip?” Lydris asked, emotional like a child.

  “You deserve nothing,” I replied sharply. He let out a whimper and tried to kiss me. I avoided him enough to force his lips to my cheek.

  “Then you’ll be in for it when I get home.” It may have been his attempt to be sexually alluring, but it was the wrong choice of words given my current disposition. I grabbed him by the back of his neck and threw him in the direction of my kin. His agility and reflexes had improved since his Dark Sacrament, so it was not as injurious as I would have hoped.

  “It would be more pleasurable if you never came back!” I hissed, turning away so I did not have to look upon him any longer. Varnoc noticed my mood and decided to retreat into Typhlon’s tent like a hound with its tail between its legs. I did not blame him.

  I was not sure how I was supposed to deal with Yuelle. Did I wish to transform her into a monster and sacrifice her soul to the Void? No… that was too ordinary. She was not like the rest of my prey. It did not matter how hard I wracked my brain, however. I could not come up with a special method to end her. Perhaps it was because I was so infuriated.

  I entered her tent to find her napping. She must have been exhausted enough from all of her deceitful night errands to not have been stirred by the outside commotion. I poured myself wine from the single bottle she had near the foot of her bed. I poured her one, too, with an added dose of my paralytic poison.

  I sat beside her, silently. I wanted to memorize every part of her before she was erased from existence. Her curly copper hair covered her like a blanket – it was a lovely shade. Her petite and scarred, yet beautiful face barely poked out. She frowned from her dreams, muttering and rolling over.

  I almost cracked in that moment. I could not silent the small peep of anger that escaped my lips when I pulled the crumpled letter out of my pocket. Any thought of Alexandra, or Cyndre, invoked the worst emotions in me. I wanted Yuelle to die before she could be wholly corrupted by them.

  She shuddered and woke up with a fright, as if my negative energy was enough to influence her dreams. Once she realized it was me, she relaxed and rubbed her eyes. Her liquid gold eyes. I was going to miss them, no matter how brief the time was that we spent together. I have come to find that I loved her more than some I had known for decades, including my own demonic children. She was just like me: an Evyan torn away from her home and betrayed. Time had nothing to do with love, but why does any of it matter?

  Love is nothing but pain and attachment.

  “Thank you,” she whispered, taking her special goblet of wine. She drank it immediately like she was parched. I was still sipping on mine in silence when she set her goblet down and began to pull her traveling clothes on.

  My poison would kill my mark slowly. It started with the loss of control, moving into numbness. It slowed the heart and weakened the muscles. It would make it difficult to breathe – a mortal would perish from suffocation. I know because I had to endure it myself to create the antidote.

  “Is something wrong? Is it the plague?” Yuelle asked, noticing my somber demeanor. I did not respond to her question and merely gestured for her to return back to the bed.

  She did as I commanded, climbing into my arms. I held her against my chest in an embrace, savoring our last moments of intimacy. Her heartbeat was a heavenly song. The scent of her skin… the way she tasted. Nobody was able to compare – especially not the horrible men! I was doomed to be with them forever.

  If only Yuelle had given Naazvaba a chance.

  “You seem distraught, Queen Lazarus,” Yuelle remarked, drawing herself away from me so she could see my face. I cared not for the black tears that rolled steadily down my cheeks. Rather than listen to her ramblings about my emotions, I kissed her again. I refused to let her part when she tried, climbing on top of her.

  When my lips left hers, she gasped for breath. Far harder, and longer than she would have normally. I noticed the slight twitching of her left eyebrow as the poison began its work. I covered her mouth with one hand and waved the scrap of crinkled parchment in her face. Her eyes grew wide and filled with fear. She shook her head back and forth and made noises of discontent against my palm.

  “Did you think I wouldn’t find out?!” I yelled furiously, finally giving into my emotions completely. “I actually trusted you. What a fool I was!”

  I released my hold on her mouth and sat back against her knees. The poison would fatigue her too much to run. I was not worried.

  “You could rule Evya! Why must everything end in death?” she asked, revealing her true allegiance. I slapped her across her face in response and held her down by her hair.

  “I trusted you!” I repeated over and over in her ear. It was the only thought occupying my mind. Sometimes it was a whisper. Sometimes it was a sob. Sometimes it was a shriek.

  I had been so stupid. Blinded by desires and unable to see reason. Being away from Vince had clouded my judgement. I hadn’t wanted to believe I had developed some sort of attachment to her. The wrath I constantly felt was only relieved by distractions. Without her or a quickly gained equivalent, I knew I would befall to some form of insanity.

  Yuelle tried to sit up and fight my pull, but she found she did not have the strength or willpower. Once she realized that she could hardly move, she started to fuss. Her weak arm reached forward and scratched at my face, covered with unstoppable tears. She was starting to shudder.

  “You’re evil,” she whispered in a defeated voice. “Too evil to succeed.”

  I wrapped my hands around her throat and started to apply pressure.

  I wanted it to end.

  “Lux Eterna.”

  A loud snap came from underneath my grasp. I could not look away from her eyes. There was a sheen of light within them for a moment before they faded conclusively. I pulled her corpse into my arms and cried more than I ever had before as a demon. Though she injured me in a way I did not believe I would recover from, I spared her soul. It was the only grace I could give her.

  Yuelle’s death was a brutal lesson that came at an impeccable time – I understood that. Life was utterly meaningless and getting attached to mortals was weak of me. The lack of their abhorrent population could only bring about eternal peace and I needed the silence. I needed something, anything to make the screaming in my mind quiet, even if that meant in turn that I would have to extinguish all I cared about.

  The only way to silent the world was to do it with my own hand. Nobody else had the capacity as I did. After killing the last mortal I cared for, I was finally ready.

  “I want you to go home.”

  Despite the amount of silence he had been receiving as of late, Varnoc appeared startled to hear my request.

  “Here? Now?”

  We were at the border of northwestern Evya. The Infernal Army was not going to cross the ocean, which meant we had to travel through Faera. Or at least what was left of it. I did not regret the Zaarians deaths when I saw the destruction of my past kin. Ironic. It is far easier to see how irrational I was than it used to be.

  “Yes. I don’t wish to be undermined. I want to do this alone.”

  “Alone?” His tone was edging on furious. “Typhlon and Morgan are coming back with me then?”

  “No. Just leave. You’ll ruin everything.”

  “Lazarus… I know I messed up before –”

  “I killed Yuelle for less –”

  “Typhlon is the Commander of the Duskwraith regime and there isn’t another damned mortal in leagues! I should be here, not him. Haven’t you at least considered forgiving me?”

  “Y
ou were chosen by Vincent for the purpose of taking Zaar, nothing more,” I uttered coldly, almost implying he was as much of a traitor as Vince was. He retracted his grasp holding my shoulder as if I physically lashed him with my words.

  “I see you still need time,” he replied, taking a step back. “Maybe when you realize that without me, all you have is your precious worm and a master that loathes you, my mistakes won’t seem so inexcusable.”

  His statement was as cruel as mine. He was hurting, but he was so caught in it he failed to see I was hurting, too, more than he could ever comprehend. I could not find it in me to forgive him. His mistake was one a mortal would make! How could he sell his soul and then betray his masters? He was as bad as Lydris and Vincent. I remember watching him leave without saying goodbye. Weakness was not a trait I wished to bear. I forced myself to bury my emotions.

  The longer I held War and Lord Nakarius within me, the more I realized that I was separate from everything else. Mortals – we had nothing in common. My kin? It was as if they were living in a different reality. They were content to indulge, expecting Praetis to cave on its own. It was a planetary mindset.

  The southwestern kingdom of Endhaven was nearly barren by the time I arrived, months later. The plague managed to traverse the ocean; it hung like a sooty fog in the sky. Evyans were far smarter than any other race of Praetis – I say that without favoritism. They knew better than to stay put when they saw signs of death. They had learned from the fall of A’roha.

  In spite of how empty it appeared when I reached the gates, I could sense thousands of souls nearby. They were in the process of hiding – likely they had received word from Cyndre and run into the demon masses over the course of the last fortnight. I thought Ambryss would have sent everything they had available to aid the southern kingdom, given that they would be the only remaining living on Kaeda without them.