Damned

by K R Leikvoll

  “My Queen,” Raven said with more compassion in his voice. He tilted my face away from the dead, trying to regain my attention. “Perhaps now would be a good time to allow Varnoc’s curse to proceed. We could tell our Master he was simply lost in the battle.”

  The thought still stung, but Raven was right. What was the use in bringing him back to Duskwraith and letting him change into a lesser there, where I was more likely to be caught doing foul deeds? I numbly took my companion's arm and closed my eyes.

  I release you, Stonebreaker… I’m… sorry.

  Even with the spell, it was like being hit hard enough to separate my flesh from my bones. I might have screamed, but I cannot recall. When my eyes opened, parts of the web of crimson lines surrounding me were corrupted and black. It felt worse than losing a limb, and that was just physically. Whatever trace we had that connected us mentally was completely gone, and my mind was panicking beyond my ability to control. I fought with Raven, I believe to search for Varnoc, but he held me firmly in his arms. With a powerful thrust, he propelled us into the sky despite my struggling.

  The utter carnage of the Capitol was different from the cloud line. There was no way the city, or even the continent, would survive all three of the horrid plague devices detonated, nor what would happen to their people once they began to change. Sendrys gave them an infection that would raise them from the dead, though any of the light-wielding citizens still living could stop that part if they were committed. I doubted they had the numbers to prevent it. Those in the furthest reaches of Himmel and Basul might survive for a while, but starvation would grace them eventually.

  We landed on the ship, and I curled into a ball and closed my eyes. I did not care that my Master was waiting impatiently in front of me – nor did I care that Devith was nowhere to be seen. It was just us three, as Vince was content to abandon his own forces that hadn’t retreated. Levia was long gone, but the smell of her smog permanently stained the air.

  “What’s wrong with her?” Vince asked in a demanding tone without a hint of empathy.

  “Varnoc perished.”

  I felt myself being lifted up, and by the sensation of the touch, I knew it to be Vince. He was studying my face when I opened my eyes, likely trying to spot any hints of insanity I might be enduring like Devith. I could not muster the energy to glare at him. The reassuring, calming effect of our bond was the only thing preventing me from losing it completely.

  “It seems I’m all you have left, beloved.”

  “Lydris lives,” my voice cracked. “Only until I hunt him down again.”

  “The fire –”

  “Was never enough, beloved,” I retorted in a quiet voice, through my agony. “But I think we both knew that. Worms scurry into the dirt to avoid predators.”

  He seemed paralyzed after hearing that his somewhat pathetic attempt at killing Lydris from afar hadn’t worked. Weakly, I pulled myself away from him, flooded with grief once we were disconnected physically. My emotions were reaching the point of no return. All I could think about was the depth of Devith’s suffering – would that happen to me? Was it happening at that moment? I hunched over with my hands resting on my knees. I had a fleeting hope that blood might help, but nothing could make me retrieve it from either of them.

  “All of this is your fault,” I choked out at Vincent, despite the horrified expression that grew on Raven’s face. I was unable to stop the thoughts flowing through my mind.

  Vincent’s jaw clenched, creating a hard line on his cheeks.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Cut the act!” I demanded, gasping from the sharp aching of my heart. “You know that if you did not force the Dark Sacrament on me and Lydris, Sendrys would still be alive, and Varnoc would still be by my side.”

  “She’s just in pain,” Raven tried to reassure Vince, stepping between us.

  “You heard me the times I said Lydris was a worm, didn’t you?” I yelled, not caring for the repercussions. “You put Sendrys up for slaughter by entrusting her life in his hands.”

  “Are you insinuating I planned to have my sister killed? Are you out of your mind, woman?” he screeched, unable to contain himself. He threw Raven from his path, off the ship forcing him to catch himself with his wings before he dropped into the water.

  I did not bother to fight off Vincent’s hands. I merely wept for Varnoc, wishing it was Lydris that had been the source of my pain instead. Vince wanted me to believe that he loved Sendrys, but I couldn’t. There was no one he loved. Everything was his fault. I could not help the tears that fell from my eyes. I was in so much pain, it hardly mattered what Vince wished to do to me.

  He lifted me up like he was going to break my rib cage into oblivion with his fist, but instead, he pulled me into his arms and clutched me close. His pleasurable touch attempted to overwhelm my desire to fight.

  “She would still be here,” I muttered through an unavoidable moan. “Our coven is falling apart… It hurts –”

  “Oh, sweet Lazarus, did you think that destroying a planet was going to be easy? People die on all sides,” he murmured with his lips on my forehead. “We are nearing the end now, and there is plenty of pain awaiting us yet.”

  It is hard to describe the loss associated with Varnoc. It was a constant internal battle of reason and pitiful emotions. I tried to recall what it was like before when I originally fought being bound to him. I nearly killed him when Vince announced the news. Beyond that, he had betrayed me, hadn’t he? It was the magic of our bond that hurt me, I told myself, not the actual loss. There was no way I could genuinely love someone besides Vincent.

  And loving Vince was poison.

  When I got home, my grievances were only heard by the demons of the Infernal Army. I shied away from Raven’s company because I felt weak. It was something he could never understand – losing a demonic child. Perhaps he would have been sympathetic given the circumstances, but I partially blamed him for my pain as well. He had pushed so furiously for me to practice on Varnoc, I had to wonder if it was out of jealousy. If I knew Raven as well as I thought, he likely did not think highly of those lacking utter devotion to the Void. I do not think that his logic is wrong, but he had never been tested in the same ways as I had.

  Our coven in Duskwraith had dwindled down to four: my Master, James, Raven and myself. It was dreadfully quiet. Even living palace guards were sparse as a lot of the population was culled from the plague. Morgan and Typhlon were always awaiting me when I traveled to the ocean. I spent many days staring out and contemplating my actions in their company.

  That specific day was not like the rest.

  I was dozing off, forgetting I lived in a dying world, when a zap sharply startled me. I felt it down my spine and fingertips. I spied two crimson souls leagues offshore – too far to see physically. It was Lydris; it had to be, for the sensation could only come from him.

  “You poor, wretched worm,” I hissed, standing and desiring to fly to their location. Surely Lydris was not careless enough to come home! Did he not state he never intended to return? I paused. I did not wish for Vince to know I had him within my grasp. He had questions to answer first.

  I called to Raven through the Dark Essentia, somewhat frantically as if it was an emergency. It was the only way to get him out of the library. I could feel a reassuring wave of energy sent back as if to tell me he was coming. I don’t know what I would have done without Raven’s constant support and aid.

  He leapt from his window and flew to meet me. I did not have to tell him what I required. He noticed the crimson outlines immediately, as they had grown close enough to the shoreline to see on the horizon. I touched his arm lightly to get his attention, as he was so fixated, I almost thought he intended to fly to it.

  “It’s Lydris.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “Yes,” I replied, studying the rather small ship he had stolen as it came into full view. “I want to question him. Vince cannot know he’s here.”

/>   We both knew Vince would kill him before he would let us question him. That alone was a clear indication that Vince was up to something – something I so desired to know. Obviously, he was plotting, but without his research, we had no way of knowing what stage he was at with the Nephilim. Though it hadn’t come up since he returned home from his interstellar trip, it was heavy on my mind. He was most definitely still working in the shadows.

  When the ship hit the sand barge, it slowed to a stop. I waited seemingly patiently for the first figure to emerge. It was Guinevere, shockingly. I almost forgot Lydris was on board when I saw her. She was wearing new clothes, ragged and scavenged. She was eager to be off the boat, jumping into the ocean below and trudging through the water. Neither Raven nor I felt inclined to help her, despite not holding ill will toward her.

  “Maundrell lives, I take it?” I asked, though not angrily. After what I had been through, I knew Guinevere could never kill her demonic child.

  “Yes, but Naadea is doomed. The Divinus can’t repair that level of damage with how little she has left,” she replied when she was close enough to be heard in a regular tone.

  “So Praetis is won,” I breathed, feeling the gravity of my words. I would have to wait until the light was wholly purged before it was appropriate to move on, but that was not what worried me. If the world was finally collapsing, that meant I had very little time to deal with Vincent. There was no doubt in my mind that Naazvaba would expect him dead before I moved on. They would not want him meddling around on Earth with Lord Azmordius’ affairs.

  “They will make one final stand,” Guinevere told us. “We should plan for their retaliation. Whoever is remaining will band together to strike us before they lay down and die.”

  I believed her. It sounded like words Maundrell would say, from what little I knew of him. Guinevere was aware of what might happen to her if she returned, but she still did nonetheless. Staying in Naadea must have been worse than whatever awaited her at the hands of our Master. Her returning home to advise me of such detail was likely an attempt to save her soul from Treachery before she was murdered.

  “Where is Lydris?” His name burned my lips. I was eager to begin. It sounded like time was rapidly running out.

  “Tied up for you… on the ship. I can’t sail myself,” she said before turning and leaving us. I had no way of knowing whether she captured Lydris or if she had tricked him; either way, it was a favor not easily forgotten. She was aware of it, too.

  Raven retrieved Lydris from the depths of the ship, throwing him like a sack of rocks onto the shoreline at my feet. He was bound in chains that resembled the ones Guinevere’s trunk had been entangled in, curiously enough. His head was covered with a linen sack, and tied to keep him from removing it. Based on his gurgles, I could tell he was gagged as well. I did not blame Guinevere in the slightest.

  “Let’s take him somewhere private, down the coastline. His screams might attract attention,” Raven advised, heaving Lydris’ writhing form onto his shoulder. That made the worm wriggle wildly, as I am sure he knew what was to come. I nodded once in agreement, anxious to begin.

  We traveled down the beach on Morgan until we reached a pocket of caverns, miles from the palace. Lydris did not stop wailing the entirety of the way, but it fell on deaf ears. Raven picked one that was deep enough to conceal we were inside while I waited, pacing back and forth. I wanted to scream at Lydris and beat him within an inch of his life. I only had to wait a few more moments.

  “After you,” Raven gestured into the craggy opening once he emerged again. I walked down the narrow entry until it pocketed into an oval-shaped space. Lydris was bound against the wall of the cave, by his chains and a supplied force of magic.

  I ripped the cover off of his head and got close enough to smell a whiff of his awful scent. His eyes were panicked, and it brought me great pleasure. I removed the scrunched up ball of linen in his mouth with a stare that suggested it was in his best interest to stay quiet.

  “Listen, Lazarus, I know that everything got confusing at the Capitol but –”

  “Enough.”

  “But everyone wants to kill me! The damn Luxians want to kill me. And you, you want to –”

  Raven thrust a blade into my hands, with which I plunged into Lydris’ leg to shut him up. Naturally, an awful pain blossomed in my own thigh as a response, but I did not care. I did not care if killing him was the final action that drove me to complete madness. The pain was pleasurable, as long as it was coming from Lydris’ agony.

  “Why?” I asked, and my question hung in the air. “Why did you betray Sendrys? Answer me!”

  I removed the blade from his leg and took a deep breath, holding it above my head for another slash. He winced and flinched against his bindings, whining out, “I didn’t mean to!”

  “Explain.”

  Lydris squinted his eyes uncomfortably and turned his face to the side. “Maundrell saw through my charade right away. I had to tell them something or they were going to kill me!”

  I fought my urge to call him a coward, though it was a battle to keep my lips pursed against my teeth. “So you told them the entire plan? That easily?”

  “No!” he exclaimed when the knife neared his flesh again. “No! No, I didn’t. Don’t hurt me, Lazarus.”

  “Tell me what happened,” I growled, beginning to lose my patience. “Tell me what you told them.”

  Lydris’ chest rose and fell rapidly. His eyes studied the cavern, perhaps thinking of a way to escape. Alas, there was none. A pity for him.

  “I told Maundrell and Eve about the plague device in Uwaya. I will admit that, but it was never to kill Sendrys! It was enough to remove them from the Capitol so she could leave the next one without resistance! I thought it was going to work, but they followed her and waited to ambush her in the Ashlands. Maundrell’s little whore seemed to know an awful lot about the talisman she was using.”

  The reason the devices hadn’t detonated when we conjured the spell and sacrificed Fevith was purely that the talisman connecting them were missing. It was part of the Divinus’ way of destroying them, but it did little once Raven arrived.

  “And where were you? Stabbing her with Maundrell?”

  “I was –” he paused. Without hesitation, my blade was brought down straight into his exposed shoulder, tearing away the muscle with ease. I clutched my own shoulder afterward, but once again, the pain was drowned out by fury.

  “Tell me now!”

  “I was in Himmel with the Divinus! I was never near the fight. I swear, I swear. I never killed Sendrys.”

  “With the Divinus,” Raven muttered with a click of his tongue. He joined my side and trailed a finger along Lydris’ bare torso. “And what would a worm be doing with the Divinus?”

  Nothing!” he replied immediately. “I was escorting her away from the fight.”

  “You’re lying,” Raven whispered.

  “I am not!”

  “Yes, you are. There is no way they would know the exact spot Sendrys would be if you did not tell them beforehand. Besides, the Divinus doesn’t need a worm’s protection.”

  “Well?” I glared at Lydris, waiting for the answer. To our collective surprise, he shut his lips firmly, refusing to answer.

  Raven summoned a wave of beetles with the aid of Pestilence. They covered Lydris’ gut like a crunchy blanket, screeching and biting into his flesh, making him wail. We waited, but he still would not budge with our accusation.

  “I grow tired of waiting!” I hissed, summoning War. I brought the blade so near his throat, it would slice him if he moved. “Tell us the truth of your excursion to Naadea, worm. Tell us, and I just might spare you.”

  “It doesn’t matter if you spare me,” he replied in a weak voice. “He’ll kill me for telling if you don’t.”

  “Who?” Raven asked to clarify. The beetles dispersed, hurrying for the cracks in the rocks.

  “Vince.”

  I waved my hand to Raven and sat down. If
Lydris was going to make us work, I had all the time in the world.

  “Are you sure, Lazarus?”

  I nodded, preparing myself.

  “Tell us why you were with the Divinus. I will not ask again,” I declared to Lydris, studying the roof of the cave with my arms folded peacefully across my chest.

  Lydris screamed. I could hear the sounds of Raven digging his teeth into him and ripping at his flesh. Pricks of sharp pain spotted mine in return.

  “I can’t tell you,” he gasped. “Please, Lazarus. Have mercy!”

  “Why can’t you tell us?”

  More screams. The crunching of bone, followed by the pain I took in turn.

  “Because he’ll kill me. I already said that.”

  “And if you don’t tell us, I’ll kill you. Who do you fear more? Do you want to die now or later?”

  His silence answered for him. When I peered over at the pair, Raven had the dagger in one hand and he fought with Lydris’ silk pants with the other. The worm began to heave, shaking his head “no” wildly, but still kept his lips firmly shut. I shrugged and nodded to Raven, who awaited my go-ahead. He grabbed his manhood and placed the blade to his base.

  “Wait! Wait!”

  I sat up, showing no patience in my expression. I am sure if looks could kill a man, he would have been dead ten times over.

  “Vince… ordered me to. He told me to gain their trust. I had no choice! It was an order.”

  Raven and I shared a stare.

  “Why did you need to gain their trust?”

  Lydris resisted for a moment too long. Raven pushed with a bit of force, drawing blood from his member.

  “Because I had to spy on the Divinus. Please don’t hurt me, I’m telling you!” he cried out, trying to wrestle his way from Raven’s blade.

  “Keep talking!” I demanded. “Or off it goes! Followed by your skin, your teeth, and your fingers. I will tear you apart piece by piece right now.”