Damned

by K R Leikvoll

  In any case, I lasted almost the entirety of Vince’s coma before I grew too exhausted to stay awake. I curled up beside him and entrapped him in my arms, so I could feel if he was coming out of it. Sleep was waiting to kidnap me the moment I closed my eyes. I felt physical inertia as if I was being swallowed by a black hole into the abyss of nothingness.

  Though, it was not truly nothingness.

  I drifted further into the darkness, toward a pocket-sized light. It was calling to me to take it and I reached out my hand. As I might make contact, the light expanded into a hole, ripping me through its threshold without warning. I was not fearful, only puzzled. I felt I was in a dream, yet the sensation reminded me of the pathway I usually took to the Void. I thought I must have been missing my home unbearably to dream of something so vivid.

  A vortex of red met my eyes – the one I was familiar with. Intensely curious, I lifted my hand and examined it. Though it moved slightly detached, I appeared to be consciously awake. It was not until the foggy land of Limbo greeted me that I was fully convinced I had made it back somehow. There was no dream as real as that.

  As I might take a step forward to wander forever, a triangular crimson portal opened in front of me. I glanced around at the emptiness before I stepped through. There were no beings as far as I could see, nor guiding shadows. I was expected to know my home perfectly, and I did despite how long it had been.

  I materialized at the recognizable, titanic gate to Treachery at the end of Fraud. Only… everything did not look as I thought I recalled. The strange cosmic sky was aflame, cracking with energy overhead and striking pieces of the land at random. The skeletons adorning the gateway had violet light in their sockets and they screeched nearly louder than the distant screams of Dys. Even those screams were different. Quieter than I remembered.

  The ground rocked violently and shook several times afterward. I kneeled through the chaos erupting around me. The state of everything was the most troubling thing I had ever seen. I could feel the Void crying out for me as if it had been pleading for help eternally unheard.

  Two shadows flooded the area from opposite directions. One formed the towering God of Heresy and Lust, Lord Azmordius. The other materialized as the Epicure, the God of Gluttony and Greed, Lord Valorius. Their presences were not enough to distract me from the sensation of Lord Nakarius pulling himself from my soul to join the others. It did not hurt, but I was left feeling like a hollow shell.

  “It’s happened,” Lord Nakarius’ low voice growled to the others.

  Lord Valorius’ tentacles gestured to the disorder around us. “We have long noticed. I suppose this means I am to finally descend into Dys when this is over. You have lost our bet.”

  “Enough!” Lord Azmordius scolded. “No more! Now, we set our plans in motion.”

  “Who? And where?” Lord Nakarius asked with a scowl.

  “A demon named Lucius, of Earth,” Lord Azmordius replied.

  “Luxzea, and I intend to eat the planet. You work much too slow,” Lord Valorius said afterward.

  I was utterly lost in their words. I had no clue what was going on around us, nor did I have any idea what their plans entailed. Lord Nakarius was so silent after the battle of the Capitol, I swore that I was no longer held in good favor. Finally, I could not keep the words in any longer.

  “If you are not here, what is to happen to the Void? I –” I did not want to admit my weakness, but I had no choice, “I cannot kill Vince. Lord Baelarius was wrong; the shadows fight me.”

  Lord Valorius’ tentacles writhed in a manner I thought looked angry. “We have been indisposed, prophet. Look around.”

  I did as he commanded and witnessed the energy crackling through the air. Was the Void closed to me because of the state it was in? I was unsure. Raven had little trouble summoning demonic power, just the same as James and Vince. Why was I the only one affected?

  “Your worries have been misplaced,” Lord Azmordius said as if she could read my mind. “Guarding Lord Baelarius and the Vast Dark was far more important than attending to meager matters on Praetis. You consume more energy than we do here.”

  “Meager matters?” I could not bite my tongue. “Vincent is on the brink of creating the Nephilim! Is that not what we are defending against?”

  Lord Valorius floated in my direction, lifting me up with his slippery tentacles. I was brought to his maw, filled with thousands of teeth descending into oblivion. “What you see before you is a reaction. Something happened outside of time, in a similar dimensional plane. The Nephilim already exists, and it’s waiting outside.” I was not accepting Lord Valorius’ statement without a fight. I shook my head, disgusted.

  “I can stop it from existing! Vincent has not created it yet!”

  Lord Azmordius turned her oxen-skull head toward us; smog billowed out of her mouth and she stamped one of her massive hoofed feet. “If it was only Vincent, perhaps, but this is interwoven with the light. If there was a reality where you prevented the Nephilim, it would not exist at our doorway.”

  I was incapable of understanding. My mind screamed that their words were false. The Nephilim did not exist; Vince was lying unconscious in my physical body’s arms. How could it be just beyond our plane, waiting to break in? I exhaled and closed my eyes for a moment. I had accepted that it was Vincent’s fate to create the Nephilim, simply because I lacked the ability to kill him. However, with Raven’s ideas – such as destroying his method of creating it – I had been positive that it would be enough to prevent it.

  “I don’t understand,” I finally admitted out loud. “I can kill her. If Eve does not exist, then there would be no way to –”

  “Enough,” Lord Nakarius said, peering at me and giving me attention for the first time in what felt like eons. “What they say is the truth, prophet. We cannot prevent it, but we can harness it. A neutral force can always be corrupted.”

  Lord Valorius set me down. His maw let out the sound of clicking laughter, cruel and mocking. “You both share dull-minded opinions. The Nephilim should be annihilated on first contact.”

  “And ruin our only chance of taking the realm? I thought you liked bets,” Lord Nakarius retorted, not backing down.

  “Bets that I can win –”

  “Nakarius is correct, but we cannot afford to make mistakes. We move ahead with the destruction as agreed upon,” Lord Azmordius interjected. “Crippling the Imperium will drain it of its light and ruin its hold on the cosmos.” She turned like she intended to leave.

  “And what of Vince? And the Void?” I demanded to know. My home could not be left unprotected.

  “Vincent… you will deal with,” Lord Valorius answered, almost sending me into a fit of rage. It was the first emotions I had since Lord Nakarius separated from me.

  “I already told you, it’s impossible.”

  “You will, for it is your fate,” Lord Azmordius said, causing a shiver to shoot down my spine at the thought. “As it is his fate to die by your hand.”

  “The Void will need its guardian. Once Vincent has entered the Void, you will finish your task of destroying Praetis and return here,” Lord Valorius dictated.

  “Return here? What about my body?” I felt all of their gazes on me, like a heavy weight on my shoulders. Lord Nakarius reached out a hand, and I willingly climbed into his grasp despite my numbness.

  “You won’t need it anymore,” he said, holding me level with his third eye.

  “You mean death?”

  Lord Nakarius smiled cruelly in response. “Do not attempt to deceive us with emotions now. You have thought about death since you sold your soul.”

  It was the truth, but I thought more of the peace, not of unending guard duty. I was being torn apart by my selfish desires and the dogmatic connection I had to my Gods. My bond with my Master was making me more like him – more unwilling to follow the wishes of Naazvaba.

  “If I kill Vince, I get my end of the bargain,” I stated firmly. “That was the deal.”

/>   “Nobody ever declared it off, prophet!” Lord Valorius replied, enthused by my words. “You will get what you so long for, and we will have an eternal eye on Lord Baelarius while we attend to other matters.” I was set back down. I felt like I could not hold the weight of my body, but somehow I managed not to collapse.

  I was merely a pawn.

  Although I was the most privileged of any demon, or any other being to grace the Void, I was still a slave to them. I could fulfill my side of their demands, and they would give me the illusion of what I wanted, no different than Vince himself. That was always the case, and I had been too foolish to realize it. I wished fiercely I could ignore the side of me that felt horrified. I was going to kill my Master, and he would create the Nephilim no matter what, as I predicted. I would end the planet, return home, and await these supposed forces that might never come as a result. It was yet another lesson on fate. My Master and I were intertwined in a way that could not be undone with a simple cut.

  The Void Lords moved toward the massive stone staircase leading to the gateway of Treachery. All three pointed at the top; the ground trembled from something other than the thick energy disrupting the plane. Molten flame escaped from Lord Nakarius. Violet shadows encircled the same spot from Lord Valorius. Both were soon joined by bright green electricity from Lord Azmordius. The various magic mixed together, forming into a crimson sphere, as big as the gate itself. It was liquid, and yet it was not. At a certain angle, it almost appeared as solid as ruby. Despite that, it was transparent, revealing the vortex of flame on the other side.

  “This will be your home for eternity, prophet,” Lord Azmordius stated, gesturing for me to join them. “As it was always meant to be.”

  I walked up the stone stairs with a pit of dread in my gut. There was no paradise I could picture wholly, anymore. What was I bound to see? What if it was the nightmares that plagued me, seeking to entrap me forevermore?

  Lord Nakarius dispersed into shadows, channeling into my being with a wave of tremendous power. I felt restored, though it did little for my paranoid thoughts.

  “We will take the Nephilim, you and I,” Lord Nakarius’ voice whispered in my mind. “And we will show Azotl who is the most worthy of its power.”

  I wished for the manipulation to cease. For my life to feel that it was under my control. I wanted the voices to stop – to forget that everything I would receive was an illusion. But… it is impossible to turn these things off once they start. It only gets worse.

  And fate? I was never a match for it.

  I woke up sputtering as if I had my head held underwater. Due to the lack of time in the Void, I was immediately worried I spent too long away, fearing that Vincent might have left my arms. When I opened my eyes, James was still sitting in his chair, watching the fire. My Master was the same as I left him – unconscious with soft mumbles. My chest rose and fell rapidly while I rubbed my face.

  “How long was I asleep?” I could not catch my breath. The Void was not a dream, though I wished it was fiercely. When the Void Lords told me to accept their strange magic by moving through it, I felt nothing. There was no paradise waiting on the other side of the veil. I asked for oblivion, and they gave me oblivion… and it was not as satisfactory as I would have hoped. It was like being shocked by a bolt of lightning realizing that I was not ready for that bliss.

  I blamed Vince. He was the reason my faith had begun to falter; the reason for my selfish desires. It was all likely more manipulation, with the goal of ruining my eternity as well as my life. I was so empty, yet so enraged. I could not help how I felt about him, whether it was real or not. I could not stop fate, even though it sat right in front of me, taunting me.

  “A few hours,” James replied in a tired tone. “Raven asked that you meet with him. He’s in his chambers.”

  I glared at my snowy-haired brother. It was probably true, but I did not like the idea of him alone with Vince. He could steal him and take him beyond my reach. My mind sobered from the thought when I was reminded that it did not matter whether James took him or not – I was to kill him regardless. I fell apart inside again.

  “He stays here,” I hissed. “Find me immediately if he wakes.”

  James held my gaze, unfearful of the death in my eyes.

  “Whatever you wish, prophet.” There was no sarcasm or emotion in his voice.

  I stormed out of the room to Raven’s. Whatever he had to say was not as important as keeping watch over our Master. I threw open his door angrily, and he stood still as if he was anticipating I might harm him.

  “What is that?” he asked curiously, gesturing to the area surrounding me. I looked around, expecting to see something, but there was nothing there.

  “What are you talking about?”

  He covered his mouth with his hand in thought and moved closer. His eyes scanned over me and I still knew not what he spoke of. “I can feel the Void… your aura… it’s black now.” He sounded worried – only our Master boasted an aura of shadows.

  “We cannot stop Vince from creating the Nephilim,” I stated coolly instead of responding. “The Void is under siege. Naazvaba demands protection.”

  “We can stop him – we just need to kill Eve –”

  “No, Raven. This force is outside of our jurisdiction… but –” I paused and stared at the sky outside his window. “We can take the weapon for ourselves. For Naazvaba.”

  “How are we supposed to take it from him? If you cannot kill him, nor I, how could we possibly get it from his grasp?”

  I thought over his words before replying, “After the Nephilim is brought to our realm, I will kill him. I am not sure how, but it is foretold.”

  “That weapon will make him unstoppable, not weak!”

  “Silence!” I had enough of my own doubts, I did not need to listen to his as well. “Lord Baelarius’ will is absolute.” He grew stiff and frozen, knocked into some form of disassociation from my words. “Raven,” I broke, grabbing his hands. “I don’t know. That is the answer. I do not know how I will take the Nephilim, nor how I will kill him… but Lord Baelarius has foreseen it. Who am I to question the chosen of Azotl?”

  “You’re right,” he sighed. “We should at least figure out how to deal with James in the meantime.”

  “I thought you said he was as loyal as they come? Was that a lie?”

  “No.” Raven scowled. “But he has not made his position clear. He needs to swear fealty or perish. The world is growing too small for any more traitor demons. And speaking of which, how do you intend to deal with Lydris?”

  “I will move him to the dungeons. Even if Vince kills him, we have gathered all we needed to know.” He nodded stiffly in response, and I left him alone. Speaking with him was almost a waste of my time.

  Where were you? I thought mentally to Lord Nakarius as I began my descent to the beach. War denies me in your absence! The shadows mock me!

  “My existence reaches far beyond your pathetic, mortal body, prophet.”

  I asked a few more questions in my frustration, but he refused to answer, growing mute once more. Perhaps the Void had not witnessed my most recent failures – maybe it was only War. Laughter startled me in response.

  “You are unworthy,” War cackled, causing a sharp pain to shoot through my chest.

  And you are merely a tool – a tool with little purpose if it is broken.

  Maintaining an Essentia shard was all about dominance. I was well aware that I would have to demonstrate my power to return its favor, but that did not mean I had to grovel before it. It was a utensil – not a conscious-entity as it might believe.

  I was near to the cave Lydris was being held in when screeching overhead drew my attention. It was my precious flock of fiends, more excited than rambunctious kits to see me outside of the palace. Or so I thought…

  They surrounded me on the beach, growling and crying out. I nearly ignored them, taking a step to go around, but one blocked my path. The third eye on its forehead opened – rev
ealing a pool of blood, staring at me.

  “Touch it,” Lord Nakarius commanded, forcing my hand forward to brush its fur.

  The moment we made contact, I was propelled into a vision. I was one with the fiend, flying high above the ocean down the coastline. I saw the Gorge leading into the desolate land of A’roha. Beyond that, there were forces gathering.

  Half of it was the golden plated army of Evya. I felt a flush of emotions; I had been careless with their extermination if that many still roamed around healthy and unaffected by the plague. The other half was the Luxian forces – whatever remained. I could even see the Divinus, perched on a wolf Dryad, not unlike mine. Though it had orchid colored fur and green eyes, it was certainly the same species. Kirin Maundrell was with her – as was Alexandra. My sight went black, pulling me away from Evya.

  They were preparing for war – for their final stand. It would be over soon. I knew what I needed to do.

  When I pulled the worm from the cave, he tried to fight. He put his fists, backing toward the wall once his arms were unbound. I merely looked at him with a sideways glance, daring him to make a move. Of course he did, trying to take a quick step to the left to avoid me when I reached for him. He got in one hit to my chest, but he knew it was a mistake the moment he struck me.

  “I’m sorry! Sorry, sorry!” he squeaked, wincing away.

  I punched him in the face as hard as I could; red enveloped my fist and flame seared his skin where my knuckles made contact. He was knocked unconscious – almost knocked dead. Usually, that sort of damage would have caused me to stagger to my knees, but my emotions were so strong, so physically present, I felt little more than a slight headache in response. I threw the worm over my shoulder and made haste for the dungeons. I did not have time to waste with that filth.

  After he was secure in the dungeons alone, as we had sacrificed our prisoners long ago, I retreated back outside. I needed to tell Raven, and regrettably James, but it could wait until we were properly defended. Morgan met me when I called on him telepathically and we rode for the Azmordian Grove. I would need an immense source of power and without andvara, the trees of Azmordia were the next best thing.