by Cs Jacobs
Our group is already seated at the large table in the middle of the restaurant. We exchange pleasantries with everyone then place our order. As we are chatting it up, we sit through three karaoke renditions and have booed them all. Yes, this is what you do at this restaurant in particular, but it’s all in good fun. A few men from our group go up to sing Y.M.C.A., and they get cheered on as they go because their performance out does their vocals. I love hanging out with these men; it is always a good time.
After the group of men come back to the table, they start chanting for me and Joey to go on and duet. Shit. This isn’t the first time this has happened. Joey and I actually have really good voices. We constantly sing while we’re getting ready to go out, or are just hanging out at home. We have sang karaoke before, but I’m usually piss-ass drunk. I’ve only had two mimosas; I’m nowhere near that point, yet. But of course, Joey being the cocky fuck he is, stands and bows at the table. The cheers get louder, damn it. He grabs my hand and drags me up to the small stage before pulling up two stools and the guitar they have sitting aside the stage. He makes me sit in one stool while he situates the guitar to his liking.
“Hello everyone, my name is Joey,” he says into the mic as most of the women and some men cheer loudly. He pauses and smiles, knowing how to work the crowd. “This here is my best friend Angie.” More cheers, but I look down at my feet. I am so incredibly embarrassed right now and he knows it too. But I am up here because I can never back down. I’m not sure if it’s a good trait or a bad trait, but I feel like I was challenged, so here I am on a tiny stage, turning beet red and getting ready to sing whatever Joey decides on.
“Today we’re going to sing for you an acoustic version of, “Chandelier” by Sia. We hope you like it.” He strums the guitar and smiles at me. The restaurant goes quiet, and he taps his toe four times then starts to play the guitar. My heart is racing and I can barely hear him over the sound, but I can’t freeze up here. That would be even more embarrassing, so I listen for my cue then go...
We fall into sync with one another and sing the song as we have many times before in private. I never look up. Instead, I stare at Joey. He knows how I feel, so he stares back. To an outsider looking in, it might seem intimate, but in reality, he is supporting me, giving me strength to go on.
We sing the whole song effortlessly, and before I know it, we’re done. The sound of the cheers is deafening. Joey grabs my hand and we bow to our audience. I smile at the crowd once then hurry back to my seat.
“Angie doll, you have the voice of an angel,” Sammy croons to me. I laugh at his enthusiasm.
“Thank you, Sammy,” I reply right before I chug the rest of my mimosa. The rest of our brunch goes without incident as we listen to the good and the bad of the karaoke singers and enjoy our meal. We all head out about an hour later. Joey, Sammy, and I head off to do some shopping while the others head home. I spend the rest of the day shopping in all the boutiques in SoHo. We don’t stop until our arms are full of bags, and in my eyes, that is a great success. We say our goodbyes and each head into our own taxis. I get home and start putting away all of my purchases when I hear a ding indicating I have an email. I search my bed, which is covered in new clothes, for my phone. I eventually find it and plop down to read it. The title of the email alerts me right away who it is from, and the smile on my face is telling.
Frozen Yogurt Tastes Off
Ms. Cane,
My niece asked me to take her for froyo, as you call it, and I was happy to oblige. Only it tastes off without your company. I hope you are willing to accompany me from here on out; otherwise, I will have to stop indulging in my once favorite treats, for without you, it has lost its deliciousness.
-Blake
I think I read the short email five times before I decided to respond. The whole time I feel like a giddy schoolgirl. What is going on with me?
I Can Make It Taste Right
Mr. Harper,
How sweet an uncle you are to treat your niece to a nice sugary treat. I’m sorry to hear the taste is not the same in the absence of my presence. I will have to see what I can do to rectify said situation...
-Angelica
I hit send before I can change my mind. I know Joey told me to be careful, but I’m having fun with Blake and it comes so easy with him. Maybe I do want a relationship now. Perhaps settling down wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Before I have time to think that thought through any deeper, my phone dings. I smile as I read his response.
You Can Also Make It Hard
Ms. Cane,
Please choose your words carefully. I wouldn’t want you to start something you are not willing to finish...
-Blake
I Like It Hard
Mr. Harper,
I always finish what I start...
-Angie
I hit send quickly. I can’t wait for his reply. I’m horny just thinking about him being hard and how that hard cock feels deep inside of me, pleasing me. Very deep inside me. I can honestly say Blake has the biggest dick I’ve ever had the pleasure of fucking. The ding breaks me of my little fantasy.
I Like You
Angelica,
Care to start something with me?
-Blake
Start something? What does he mean? He is leaving this up for interpretation and my mind is going wild with it. He could mean he wants to start something like a fuck right now, or he could mean something like a relationship. Being the blunt person I’m known to be, I email him and ask him exactly what he means.
Please Explain
Blake,
Your last email can be interpreted many different ways. Care to be a little more specific?
-Angie
Which Way Suits You?
Angelica,
How would you like to interpret it?
-Blake
Shit, of course he would turn this around on me. What was I thinking emailing him that? He makes a valid point though; how would I like to interpret it? Do I want more than just sex with Blake? Could I, the queen of no relationships, allow myself to like him? I just don’t know. I have to get advice. I go to my speed dial and call Joey.
“Miss me so soon, baby girl?”
“Always, I need your advice,” I reply quickly.
“What is it, everything okay?” He sounds worried.
“Everything is fine. I’m sorry to worry you. It’s about Blake. Do you think I could have an actual relationship with him?” I ask. There is no response.
“Hello, JOJO?” I yell into the phone.
“Sorry, baby girl, I’m just in shock. This guy is really under your skin. You’ve known him a whole three days and you are already contemplating more. You’ve never contemplated more with anyone. The fact that you are even asking me is telling.”
“I don’t know what it is about him—actually, no, I do. He’s intelligent. It’s easy to be around him. He’s a great fuck, but more than that, he’s fun. We get along, we joke. I don’t know… I just feel like he is different from anyone else I’ve fucked.”
“Wow, just wow. If you really like him this much already, I say go for it, baby girl, but be careful. You and I both know how you get. Just let everything flow, okay? See what happens and try not to ruin it before it even starts.” The concern laced in his voice warms my heart.
“Thank you, Joey. I’ll call you later, love ya. Bye.”
“Love you more, baby girl.” With that, we hang up.
How do I want to approach this? How can I respond without sounding desperate? Well, honesty has gotten me this far in life; I’m not going to stop now.
All of the Above?
Blake,
I’d like to interpret every scenario that popped in my head...
-Angie xoxo
My God, I hope the xoxo wasn’t too middle school for him. Ugh, what was I thinking with that last part? Shit. While I’m mentally chastising myself, my phone rings in my hand. I immediately gasp, thinking it’s Blake. Maybe the emails were just gettin
g redundant? I look down and to my surprise, I see my mother’s name. Hmm, she very rarely calls me. This can’t be good.
“Hello Mother,” I answer.
“Angelica, darling, how are you? I hope well. What do you say we go have a late lunch or perhaps just do some shopping?” she replies. Her tone is off and the way she is rushing her words has me sitting up straight.
“Mother, what’s going on?”
“Am I truly that obvious?”
“Yes, you are. Please just tell me.”
“Well, I would have liked to have told you this in person, but it seems I have no choice. It seems that Edward is moving back to the city and I thought I should be the first to tell you.” Her tone is sad and worried. I don’t respond immediately. I am stunned. I could have never imagined this day would come. I thought Grandpa TJ had done all that he could to make sure he never moved back here. Clearly, I was wrong. As if sensing my thoughts, my mother adds more. “He made it a point to reach out and tell me this himself. I told your grandfather the news when I found out. He is not pleased. He insisted on coming into town to be with you. There was no talking him out of it. He’s on his way.”
“Mother, how could you let him fly out here? I’m not a child any more. I can fight my battles on my own. Just because he is going to be living in the city again does not mean I will see him. Ugh!” I sigh in frustration. My grandfather is in his eighties and does not need to be flying out here. I’m annoyed, but I know that even I cannot talk my grandfather out of anything. I have tried before and failed. When it comes to me, he is over-the-top over protective. While I’m pondering these emotions, I hear my email alert ding. Only now, Blake is so far off my mind I don’t care to read it. “What time will he be in?” I ask my mother.
“In an hour.”
“An hour, Mother? When did you tell him and why did it take you so long to tell me?” I’m now yelling at her, but I cannot help it.
“Do not raise your voice at me, Angelica. I found out this morning and told your grandfather right away. He wanted to be here when I told you, but I felt it only fair that you know what’s going on.” She makes it sound like a business deal. My mother and I never really did have a heart-to-heart talk after I told her what Edward, her ex-husband, did to me when I was younger. I’m not sure that if we would have anything would be different. My mother is too selfish to care about anyone but herself. Myself included. I’ve always come last on her list. If I ever have children, I will do my damnedest to be everything my mother wasn’t. Unable to contain the tears any longer, I just hang up the phone. I know I’ll get shit about that decision later, but I just cannot talk to her about this. I need Joey. He is my true family; she never will be.
“Jeez, baby girl, I feel awfully special with all these phone calls I’m getting today.” He laughs, but stops when he hears my muffled cries. “What the fuck did that asshole do to you already?”
“Nothing, Joey. It’s Edward. He’s moving back to the city.” I hope he understands what I just said because I barely can. I’m now sobbing uncontrollably.
“FUCK! I’m on my way,” he replies and the line goes dead. I throw my phone on the floor and curl up on my bed. Roger jumps up and lays next to me. God, I love this dog. I grab him and sob into his fur. I don’t know how long I’ve been crying. It feels like hours, but it must have been a mere fifteen minutes because Joey is running into my room. Thank God, he has a key. I don’t even have to look up, I know it’s him. I hear him kick off his shoes and feel him crawl into bed behind me. I cry harder. He turns me around so I’m crying into his chest. He kisses my hair and just lets me cry. This is why I love him. He knows I don’t want to talk about anything; I just want to cry. I don’t know when, but at some point I must have fallen asleep because I hear Roger barking downstairs in the living room and I am now alone in my bed. I know it’s my grandfather before I even hear his voice.
“Where is she?” he shouts at Joey.
“Hello, Mr. Cane, she is asleep in her room.” I hear Joey reply calmly. Joey respects my grandfather tremendously. My Grandfather, TJ, was and continues to be the father I never had. When I was about to get my driver’s license, I asked to take his last name instead of the one I had. I had no relationship with my piece-of-shit father and he didn’t want anything to do with me, so why carry his last name? When I told my grandfather, he cried. The man is tough as nails, so that was a rare sight. After that, I’m sure he paid my father off to get him to sign the form. I hate when my grandfather uses his money on me, but in this instance, I was happy.
My father may be a piece of shit, but like many other people, money is the key to everything. He started a new family and has other children. It saddens me to know he can be a good father, just not to me. Fuck him. At least I have my grandfather. I’ve shared this story and many others with Joey. I’ve also taken Joey to Texas to visit the family farm. Even in overalls, Joey is a sight for sore eyes. I shake my head at my inability to keep my mind on topic and head downstairs to the living room.
I hear the two men talking in the kitchen, so I head in that direction. I stop in the hallway and just stare. Joey is dressed in sweats and a loose white T. Clearly, he didn’t care what he looked like before he came over. That’s a big deal for JoJo, but even so, he is a handsome man. Next to him is my grandfather, looking like he walked right off the ranch. His cowboy hat sits on the kitchen counter right next to his hand, in which he always wears his thick gold wedding band and a leather watch. He wears his signature long sleeve red and black plaid shirt, his Levi’s faded, which never go without a belt, and his big ol’ cowboy boots. Just looking at him takes me back to vacations on the farm. God, I’ve missed him. I walk further into the room and Joey turns his face when he sees me. I smile at him and walk toward my grandfather. He turns and engulfs me in a great big bear hug, my favorite. He towers over me at over six-feet tall. I’ve always felt safe in these strong arms.
“Hi, Granddad.” I start to cry as soon as I say the words. I’m just overly emotional and I’ve missed this man.
“Hey, sugar, I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner,” he says softly.
“You know you didn’t have to come all the way up here for me. I’m a big girl, and I’ll get over these emotions; then I’ll be good as new.” I smile as we break our hug.
“Angelica Marie, don’t you dare lie to me. Look at you. I don’t care about flying up here. I should be doing it more often. I’m here to be with you. I’m sorry, baby, I am. I thought I handled Edward. I thought he would never be anywhere near you again.” I can hear the hurt when my grandfather talks.
“No one would have thought he’d come back, Mr. Cane” Joey says to him. We all stand there for a minute not talking. Although I’ve had an easy day, I feel like I ran the NYC marathon. I’m exhausted. I walk over to the living room and plop down on the couch, and Roger sits at my feet. Joey covers me with my throw, and then sits next to me. My granddad sits in the recliner next to us.
“Well the fact of the matter is he is back. We’re going to make sure he does not make contact with you, Angelica. I won’t have it,” he says sternly.
“Mr. Cane, you can guarantee I will be by her side from here on out,” Joey says.
“ENOUGH!” I yell. “I am not a baby. I appreciate your concern, both of you, but you have to stop. He hurt me a long time ago. I’m stronger than I was when I was eleven. It’s not like he is going to rape me again,” I say sadly. “Granddad, JoJo, I’m sorry. I was caught off guard. We both know my mother isn’t exactly the warmest person with her words. Look, it shocked me. I cried. I’m done.” I look at both of them and plead with my eyes that they believe me. “Let’s just hope he doesn’t go out of his way to run into me like he used to. I have over a month of vacation saved up. I’ll take a week and just pamper myself. Then I’ll be back at work and everything will be fine. I just need some time to gather my thoughts. Please, let me handle this on my own.”
I’m pleading with these two men. I know they love me dearl
y and are only looking out for my best interests, but I need to handle this on my own. I don’t know how much more of these overbearing men I can take right now. And with that thought, the doorbell rings. Gasping, I jump up, startling Roger into hysterically barking at the door. Without even realizing it, I have tears streaming down my face again. My granddad sits next to me and holds me while Joey goes to get the door. He stomps the whole way there, radiating tension. He yanks the door open without even bothering to look through the peephole. From my spot on the couch, I see who it is instantly. Fuck me running. Can today get any worse? I wipe my eyes, but it is no use. I’m sure my eyes are puffy and my once nice makeup is running down my face.
“What do you want, Blake? Now’s not a good time,” Joey asks him. Glancing over Joey’s shoulder, Blake spots me on the couch and pushes his way inside.
“Angelica, what happened to you? Are you okay?” He kneels in front of me, and the look of concern etched on his face makes the tears come once again. Why does everyone worry about me? Why can’t I just be alone for a while?
“Whom would you be, young man?” my granddad asks, using his authoritative voice.
“Please pardon me, my name is Blake Harper. I’m a friend of Angelica’s. I grew worried when she stopped responding to a series of emails. I tried to reach her several times, but when I called her phone, it was shut off.” Blake genuinely sounds concerned. He holds his hand out for my granddad. Granddad just stares at him for a minute before taking it. Blake must have been so worried. Why was my cell phone off? As if reading my thoughts, Joey shrugs.