Looking Back

by Looking Back (retail) (epub)

  Lulled by the fire and fond thoughts of Alfie, Molly soon found herself drifting off to sleep.

  She woke with a jolt when Milly yelled out, ‘Got you! Now it’s my turn!’ Georgie let out a blood-curdling cry as she grabbed him.

  Quickly coming to her senses, Molly checked the iron. ‘A few more minutes yet,’ she decided. ‘Best give Dad a shout.’

  Switching off the wireless, she went to the bottom of the stairs and called, ‘Dad, you’d best get up. It’s gone eleven!’

  Back came the shout, ‘Piss off, you! Let a man sleep, why don’t yer?’

  When Molly turned round, all four children were looking up at her with scared faces. ‘He’s not coming down, is he?’ That was Bertha again, speaking for everyone.

  Molly smiled. ‘Doesn’t seem like it,’ she said and, whooping and hollering, they ran off again, this time with Eddie hanging on to Milly’s hand.

  Wrapping the tea towel round her fist, Molly took the iron out of the fire and spat on it; the spittle lay there, unmoving. ‘Still not ready,’ she decided, and turned her attention to the ironing basket. Taking the scorched blanket from the top, she folded it before laying it across the table, a little pile of ironing alongside.

  She tried the iron again, and this time the spittle sizzled and danced. It was ready. Laying it in the cradle, she called her dad again. ‘Dad, are you getting up or what!’

  ‘Thought I told yer to piss off!’

  So she did. ‘Stay there till Kingdom Come for all I care,’ she muttered.

  She was halfway through the ironing when Rosie returned, right in the middle of a silent ‘hiding’ session. ‘Where’s all the childer?’ she asked. ‘Sure, you’ve not let the wee mites out in the cold again?’ She almost leaped out of her skin when they all jumped out on her.

  ‘That got you, didn’t it, Rosie?’ Georgie couldn’t stop laughing.

  ‘Ye little varmints, I almost had a heart attack, so I did!’

  While they ran off in fits of laughter, she told Molly, ‘Well, I managed to get Sandra out of bed. Dad’s off down the pub, so the road’s clear if you want to go and talk with her now.’

  Molly began packing away the ironing. ‘No, don’t do that, lass,’ Rosie protested. ‘Sure, I can carry on with it till yer get back.’

  ‘Dad’s still abed. If you managed to get Sandra out, happen you’ll try the same technique on him?’

  ‘I don’t think so.’ Rosie actually blushed. ‘I threw the clothes off her and smacked her arse, so I did. I can’t see me doing that to your father, can you?’

  Molly saw what she meant. ‘Better not,’ she giggled. ‘Just keep yelling at the bottom of the stairs. He’ll get fed up with it in time.’

  ‘Our Sandra’s the same. It’s like drawing teeth to get her outta bed, so it is.’

  ‘I’ve the dinner cooking, Rosie. Can you take a peep at it every now and then? The veg will need to go on soon.’

  ‘I’ll ask the same of you, lass. I’ve a hotpot in the oven, and given half a chance our Sandra would let it burn to a cinder.’ Before she left, Molly changed Eddie’s nappy and put him in his pram. ‘The way he’s been running round, he’ll be asleep in minutes,’ she predicted.

  As she went out the door, she heard Rosie saying, ‘You were tired an’ all, weren’t ye, lad, eh?’ From that, Molly assumed Eddie had already dropped off to sleep. After all, he was only a bairn, bless his heart.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Walking down the street, Molly saw the car out of the corner of her eye; a big, posh car, nosing its way along the street. From inside, a small-faced man with dark, swept-back hair appeared to be peering out the window to examine the house numbers.

  Molly thought both the car and the man looked out of place. ‘You’ll find none of your kind down Victoria Street,’ she mused.

  Knocking on Rosie’s door, she stamped her feet in an effort to keep warm. ‘Come on, Sandra, where the devil are you?’

  A minute or two passed and there was still no answer, so she knocked again, muttering, ‘If she’s gone back to bed, her mam’ll have her guts for garters.’

  Just then, Sandra flung open the door, looking fed up and hung-over. ‘Talking to yerself now, is it?’ she grumbled. ‘They lock you away for less than that.’

  Molly pointed to the car. ‘I reckon that bloke’s lost.’

  Sandra shrugged her shoulders. ‘So what?’

  ‘Happen I should see if I can help?’

  ‘Don’t be bloody daft, it’s freezing. Get yerself in ’ere.’ Stepping aside to let her friend in, Sandra poked her head out to yell at the driver, ‘Piss off, you… afore some common old dog cocks its leg up your car!’

  Horrified, Molly pushed her way through. ‘Honest to God, Sandra, you’d get anybody hanged.’

  ‘Well, what’s he doing down here? Posh sod, let him get back where he belongs.’

  Going straight to the fire, Molly rubbed her hands to get the circulation back.

  ‘What d’yer want anyway?’ Throwing herself into the armchair, Sandra gave a long yawn. ‘Yer as bad as my mam. I told her an’ all… it’s too bloody cold to be running up and down the street.’

  Molly glanced at her miserable, dishevelled friend, and she had to smile. ‘Well, good morning, Moll,’ she teased. ‘How the bloody ’ell are yer?’

  Surprised, Sandra looked up, the whisper of a smile fleeting across her face. ‘The kettle’s boiled if you want a drink.’

  ‘No, thanks all the same.’ Sitting down in the chair opposite Sandra’s, Molly confessed, ‘I’ve come for a little talk.’

  ‘I’m not in the mood for talking.’

  ‘Well, if it’s all right with you, I shall sit here till you are.’

  Sandra gave a cynical little laugh. ‘I don’t need to ask who sent you, do I?’

  ‘She’s worried about you, Sandra,’ Molly told her. ‘And can you blame her, when you’re coming in at all hours. She doesn’t know where you’ve been or who you’ve been with. You turn up with a black eye and tell her you still want the bloke who did it.’

  ‘If you’ve come here just to lecture me, you can bugger off. I get enough o’ that from me mam!’ Tucking her legs under her, the girl sat, arms folded against the world.

  Shaking her head, Molly pointed out, ‘We both love you, Sandra, but how can we help if you won’t let us near?’

  ‘I don’t need any help, thanks very much. I wish everyone would mind their own business.’

  Molly had never seen her friend like this. ‘You know I’m not here to pry,’ she said. ‘With us being long-time friends, and having shared all our secrets… I just thought you might talk to me where you won’t talk to yer mam. But if you want me to go, I’ll go.’

  For a moment Sandra remained sullen. Then, as Molly rose to leave, she tugged at her skirt. ‘Sit down, yer silly cow. Course I don’t want you to go.’

  When Molly hesitated, Sandra sat up in the chair. ‘Please, Moll. I didn’t mean to be so grumpy. It’s just that I’ve got a lot on my mind at the minute.’

  ‘Do you want to talk about it?’

  Breathing a sigh, Sandra nodded.

  Relieved, Molly sat down again. ‘What’s wrong?’

  ‘Everything!’

  ‘Such as?’

  For what seemed an age, Sandra looked at her. Then, in a small, anguished voice, she said, ‘I’m pregnant.’

  Molly’s mouth fell open in astonishment. She recalled the many conversations in which Sandra had sworn to God above that she would never have kids. In fact, she was adamant about it.

  Sandra read her thoughts. ‘I know what you’re thinking,’ she said, ‘and I ain’t changed me mind. I still don’t want kids. It were an accident, but if it keeps him with me, I’ll put up with the brat.’

  Having got over the initial shock, Molly asked, ‘What does he think?’

  ‘He doesn’t know, not yet.’

  ‘And what d’you think he’ll say?’

  Sandra grinned sadly. �
�He’ll say I’m a silly cow for letting it happen. Then again, he might try and get out of it by saying it don’t belong to him.’

  ‘And how will you convince him it does belong to him?’

  ‘Oh, he knows right enough. If he tries to send me on my way, he’ll soon find out I’m not that easy to be rid of.’ She looked up at Molly with cow eyes. ‘I love him, gal. I’ve never loved anybody like I love him.’

  ‘I can see that,’ her friend replied softly. ‘When will you tell him… about the baby?’

  Untucking her legs, Sandra gave a groan. ‘When I can find him! The bugger’s gone off, and nobody seems to know where.’

  Molly laughed. ‘If I know you, you won’t give up till you find him.’

  ‘You can bet on it, gal.’

  The mood grew serious again. ‘You haven’t told your mam, have you?’

  ‘No, and I’m not going to – yet. Once she meets Dave, she’ll love him, the baby, too. You know what she’s like with kids.’

  Molly saw how the other girl’s mood had completely changed. ‘I’m glad you told me,’ she said warmly. ‘It’s a big thing to keep to yourself.’

  Leaping out of the chair, Sandra clasped her arms round Molly’s neck. ‘I’m glad I told you, too,’ she admitted. ‘I feel better already.’

  Just then a knock came on the door. ‘Who the bleedin’ hell’s that?’

  Molly had no idea. ‘You’d best go and see.’

  When the knocking grew more insistent, Sandra ran down the passageway, yelling as she went, ‘All right, all right! Keep yer hair on, yer noisy bugger!’

  From the parlour, Molly caught snippets of the conversation. ‘Who?… Yes, she is. Wait here.’

  A moment later, looking puzzled, Sandra appeared at the parlour door. ‘It’s for you, gal.’ Lowering her voice she offered, ‘I’ll send the bloke away if yer want?’

  But Molly didn’t want. Instead, confused and a little afraid, she told Sandra, ‘I’d best go and see.’

  With Sandra immediately behind her, she walked up the passage and was startled to see that the man waiting on the step was the same one who’d been riding up and down the street in the fancy car. ‘Are you sure it’s me you want?’ she asked nervously.

  ‘Are you Molly Tattersall?’

  ‘That’s right.’

  ‘I called at the house and a lady sent me here.’

  Sandra’s voice crept over Molly’s shoulder. ‘That must ’ave been our mam.’ Prodding Molly in the back, she urged, ‘Go on, gal. Ask him what he’s after.’

  Before Molly could say anything, she was handed a long brown envelope. ‘I’m to give you this.’

  ‘What is it?’

  ‘It’s not my place to know. I’ve been asked to deliver it, and that’s what I’m doing.’

  Hesitantly, Molly took the envelope. When the man turned to leave, she told him, ‘No, wait. It might not be for me after all.’

  ‘As you will, miss.’

  Prodding her again, Sandra hissed, ‘Open the bloody thing, then!’ Like Molly, she was curious.

  Slightly apprehensively, Molly tore open the envelope. Drawing out its contents, she could hardly believe her eyes. ‘What in God’s name…!’

  Peeping over her shoulder, Sandra caught a glimpse of the money she held; a wad of notes so fat, Molly’s small hand could hardly contain it.

  ‘Jesus, Mary and Joseph, you’ve come into a fortune!’ Winking at the man, she asked cheekily, ‘Are you sure it’s not me you’re looking for?’

  ‘“Molly Tattersall”, that’s what Mr Mason said…’ And as soon as he let slip the name he clapped his hand over his mouth. ‘I’d best be off. Good day to you, ladies.’

  Jack Mason’s instructions had been clear enough. ‘Make sure it’s Molly Tattersall herself you hand the money to, and don’t say anything. Just give her the envelope and leave.’ They were his instructions and the messenger had already gone against them by mentioning his boss’s name. Now he couldn’t get away quick enough.

  But it was too late.

  Molly had heard the name before and recognised it as that of her mam’s fancy fella. ‘Jack Mason!’ Waving the wad of notes at him, she demanded, ‘Are you saying he sent this money?’

  ‘Like I said, I’d best be off.’ Before I lose my job, he thought worriedly.

  As he scurried down the steps, Molly quickly scanned the brief note which was secured to the wad of money by an elastic band:

  Dear Molly,

  I send this by hand, because to reveal where me and your mam are living might cause problems. She’s not been happy about her decision to leave all of you, though the roses have come back to her cheeks and her eyes are as bright as they were when she was a young girl.

  Your dad was slowly destroying her. I saw it and took her away. So, if you need to blame anybody, blame me. I asked her to start a new life with me, and I refused to take no for an answer.

  She does miss you all, but gradually she’s finding happiness with me. You don’t know who I am, and it’s better that way for all concerned. All you need to know is that I will take care of her and, from a distance, I’ll take care of her children. From time to time, you’ll receive a similar amount of money.

  From what your mam tells me, I know you will spend it wisely.

  Please don’t ever forget your mam for the mother she was to you all. She never wanted to leave you, but your dad and, I’m ashamed to say, myself, gave her no choice.

  Don’t hate her. If you can, please try and be happy for her now.

  I wish you well,

  Your benefactor.

  Sandra read the note over Molly’s shoulder. ‘Well, I never! Seems to me like you and the kids are set for life, gal!’ Giving Molly a congratulatory slap on the back, she was astonished to see her run down the steps to where the man was trying desperately to start his car.

  Flinging open the door, Molly dropped the envelope and its contents on his lap. ‘Take it back where it came from,’ she told him fiercely. ‘And you can tell Jack Mason this while you’re at it: I don’t want his money! I don’t want to hear from him or my mother ever again, and if I see you down this street, I’ll set the dogs on you. Do you hear what I’m saying? DO YOU?’

  The man looked at Molly’s tear-stained face, and his heart went out to her. He had a daughter much the same age. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said sympathetically, and, calmer now, he was able to start the car and drive away. Yet all the way up the street his eyes looked through the rear-view mirror at Molly standing there, a small forlorn figure in the snow; head bent and shoulders bowed, she seemed like a lost soul. For the first time in his life, he hated himself. ‘Next time Mason wants a dirty job doing, he can do it his bloody self because, work or no work, I’ll hand in my notice before I’ll do this again.’

  Seeing Molly like that was too much for Sandra. Running the few steps in her bare feet, she took her friend by the shoulders. ‘Come away, love,’ she urged. ‘Yer don’t want the nosy neighbours to see you out here like this, do yer, eh?’

  She led Molly back to the warmth of the Craigs’ parlour. ‘Sit yer arse down there while I make you a brew,’ she said, in her own inimitable way. ‘It’ll not take a minute or two.’

  Sure enough she was soon back with two steaming mugs of tea. ‘Get that down yer, gal.’ Handing her one of the mugs, Sandra sat beside Molly. ‘I didn’t mean to be so unfeeling. You know – saying you were set up for life an’ all that,’ she apologised. ‘I just opened me big, stupid gob and out it came.’

  But Molly had said her piece to the man and felt better for it. ‘I didn’t think you knew about Mam having run off,’ she commented. ‘I wasn’t sure if Rosie had told you, and I don’t see enough of you these days to tell you anything myself.’ She took a sip of her tea. ‘How did you find out?’

  ‘Down the pub.’ She didn’t want to hurt Molly any more but, ‘The whole town’s talking about it. You know what they’re like, gal… dogs after a bone.’

  Molly smiled s
adly at that. ‘I can’t blame them. It’s only natural.’

  ‘S’pose so.’

  Molly’s thoughts drifted, her voice incredulous as she spoke, almost to herself. ‘How could she do that? What made them think money could put it all right again?’ Anger reared its ugly head. ‘Doesn’t she know the kids want her back! Instead, their mammy and her fancy man send a wad of blood-money to ease their consciences. They deserve each other, damn them both.’

  ‘Hey!’ Sandra was shocked at the vehemence in her normally gentle friend’s voice. ‘Don’t get yerself all worked up like that. They’re not worth it, gal.’

  Turning to Sandra, her eyes swimming with unshed tears, Molly said quietly, ‘In that note he asked me not to hate her, and with Dad being the way he is, I’ve tried so hard not to. But now, I don’t know how to feel towards her. If she really thinks we can be bought off, she’s not the mother I’ve known all my life. She’s a stranger to me, Sandra… a stranger.’

  Her friend was mortified. ‘Surely you can’t shut her out of your life altogether?’

  ‘I haven’t,’ Molly replied sadly. ‘She’s done that herself.’

  ‘Happen yer mam’s just trying to help the best way she can. After all, she must know you can’t earn a wage, the way things are.’

  ‘I’ll manage all right. What’s more, I’ll do it without her help. In fact, me and your mam are already talking about starting a little business, soon as the children get back to school.’

  ‘You and Mam!’ Sandra couldn’t imagine her mam helping to run a business, but with Molly’s help, it might not be so impossible. ‘What kind o’ business?’

  Molly chuckled. ‘Glorified errand boys, I think you’d call us. We mean to run errands for folks as can’t get out, or don’t want the nuisance of fetching their own groceries and such.’

  ‘Hmh! I’d rather you than me.’ The other girl laughed. ‘But then, I’m a lazy bugger an’ you’re not.’

  Molly felt confident. ‘So you see, Sandra, that’s how I’ll manage, and without any handouts from them two.’

  ‘Yer a proud bugger.’

  Molly shook her head. ‘Not proud, love,’ she replied quietly. ‘And not a sponger neither.’