The Mood Elevator
Page 14
In doing this work with organizations, I have seen the Mood Elevator embraced by employees—from the CEO to frontline associates—in more than 100 of the Fortune 500 organizations in the United States and dozens of Global 1000 firms around the world. We have also had great acceptance of the concept by major institutions like universities, hospitals, and city and state governments. People from almost every nation, language, and level easily relate to the Mood Elevator and are able to use it as a guide to enhance their own lives.
We have devised simple, commonsense ways to connect people with the principles and give them practical pointers to riding the Mood Elevator with greater ease. We have also developed a large body of knowledge about the things that can (and do) affect our moods. People who use these pointers report that they are living life at their best more often and with more success and less stress. This book is designed to bring a deeper understanding to those who have some familiarity with the concept through our seminars and to introduce the Mood Elevator to a far broader audience, as well.
Notes
1. I use the word thoughts to refer to all the mental reactions we experience in response to the events of our lives—not just the rational, logical analysis we sometimes describe as “thinking.” The thoughts that drive our moods include memories, plans, fantasies, worries, regrets, anticipations, fears, desires, and much more. All are “happenings in your head”—thoughts of various kinds that have a profound impact on your mood.
2. Les Wexner, June 13, 2013, personal communication with the author.
3. Yum Brands: David Novak, CEO & Chairman, “Aligning 1.4 million employees,” CEO Show interview, February 5, 2012.
4. Joe Robles, April 2012, personal communication with the author.
5. “Three Principles: Well-Being Solutions for Life,” http://www.threeprinciplestraining.com/page/history-three-principles.
6. David Lieberman, “CEO Forum: Microsoft’s Ballmer Having a ‘Great Time,’” USA Today, April 30, 2007.
7. Kevin Freiberg, Nuts! Southwest Airline’s Crazy Recipe for Business and Personal Success (New York: Doubleday, 1998).
8. Ann Pietrangelo, “The Effects of Sleep Deprivation on the Body,” Healthline, August 19, 2014, http://www.healthline.com/health/sleep-deprivation/effects-on-body.
9. Paul Kendall, “How Lack of Sleep Affects the Brain,” Daily Mail (n.d.), http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-47792/How-lack-sleep-affects-brain.html.
10. Nancy A. Melville, “Sleep Deprivation Mimics Psychosis,” Medscape, July 21, 2014, http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/828576.
11. Rebecca M. C. Spencer, “Neurophysiological Basis of Sleep’s Function on Memory and Cognition,” ISRN Physiology 2013, (2013): 1–17. doi:10.1155/2013/619319.
12. “Sleep, Learning, and Memory,” Division of Sleep Medicine, Harvard Medical School, December 18, 2007, http://healthysleep.med.harvard.edu/healthy/matters/benefits-of-sleep/learning-memory.
13. Sharon Begley, “Can You Build a Better Brain?” Newsweek, January 3, 2011, http://www.newsweek.com/can-you-build-better-brain-66769.
14. James A. Blumenthal, Michael A. Babyak, Kathleen A. Moore, et al. “Effects of Exercise Training on Older Patients with Major Depression,” Archives of Internal Medicine 159, no. 19 (1999): 2349–56. doi:10.1001/archinte.159.19.2349; and James E. Graves and Barry A. Franklin, Resistance Training for Health and Rehabilitation (Champaign, IL: Human Kinetics, 2001).
15. Martin G. Cole and Nandini Dendukuri, “Risk Factors for Depression among Elderly Community Subjects: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis,” American Journal of Psychiatry 160, no. 6 (2003): 1147–56. doi: 10.1176/appi.ajp.160.6.1147.
16. “Eating Processed Meats, but Not Unprocessed Red Meats, May Raise Risk of Heart Disease and Diabetes” (news release), Harvard T. H. Chan School of Public Health, May 17, 2010, https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/news/press-releases/processed-meats-unprocessed-heart-disease-diabetes.
17. National Institutes of Health, AARP, AARP Research, “NIHAARP Diet and Health Study: Impact of Diet and Lifestyle Factors on Cancer Incidence: Meat and Meat Mutagens,” December 2007, http://www.aarp.org/health/medical-research/info-2007/nci_aarp_diabetes.html.
18. Matthew A. Killingsworth and Daniel T. Gilbert, “A Wandering Mind Is an Unhappy Mind,” Science 330, no. 6006 (2010): 932. doi: 10.1126/science.1192439.
19. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hzgzim5m7oU.
20. Stephen Post and Jill Neimark, Why Good Things Happen to Good People: How to Live a Longer, Healthier, Happier Life by the Simple Act of Giving (New York: Broadway Books, 2007).
21. Elizabeth Heubeck, “Boost Your Health with a Dose of Gratitude: If You Want to Get Healthier, Give Thanks,” WebMD, 2004, http://www.webmd.com/women/features/gratitute-health-boost#1.
22. Robert Emmons, “Why Gratitude Is Good,” Greater Good in Action, November 16, 2010, http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_gratitude_is_good.
23. Robert A. Emmons and Michael E. McCullough, Highlights from the Research Project on Gratitude and Thankfulness: Dimensions and Perspectives of Gratitude, University of Miami, fall 2003, http://www.psy.miami.edu/faculty/mmccullough/Gratitude-Related%20Stuff/highlights_fall_2003.pdf.
24. Susan Jimison Vitek, “Gratitude Boosts Mental and Physical Health,” Massachusetts General Hospital Mind, Mood, & Memory, August 2016.
25. Steven Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1989, 2004), 247.
26. Marilyn Hamilton (speech, California Governor and First Lady’s Conference on Women, Long Beach, California, September 26, 2006).
27. James Allen, As a Man Thinketh, Project Gutenberg eBook, https://www.gutenberg.org/files/4507/4507-h/4507-h.htm.
Bibliography
Allen, James. As a Man Thinketh. Melrose, FL: AsAManThinketh.net, 1902, 2001–2012.
Banks, Syd. The Enlightened Gardener. Vancouver, BC: Lone Pine, 2005.
Benson, Herbert. The Relaxation Response. New York: William Morrow, 1975.
Carlson, Richard. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…and It’s All Small Stuff. New York: Hachette Books, 1996.
Carlson, Richard. You Can Be Happy No Matter What. Novato, CA: New World Library, 2006.
Carnegie, Dale. How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. New York: Pocket Books, 1944, 1984.
Cooper, Kenneth H. Aerobics. Lanham, MD: M Evans, 1968.
Covey, Stephen R. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change. New York: Simon & Schuster, 1989, 2004.
Crowley, Chris, and Henry S. Lodge. Younger Next Year: The Exercise Program. New York: Workman, 2015.
Csikszentmihalyi, Mihaly. Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. New York: Harper Perennial, 1990, 2009.
Goleman, Daniel. Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. New York: Bantam Books, 1995, 2005.
Leonard, Jon N., Jack L. Hofer, and Nathan Pritikin. Live Longer Now: The First One Hundred Years of Your Life. New York: Ace Books, 1974.
Loehr, Jim, and Tony Schwartz. The Power of Full Engagement: Managing Energy, Not Time, Is the Key to High Performance and Personal Renewal. New York: Free Press Paperbacks, 2003.
Lyubomirsky, Sonja. The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want. New York: Penguin, 2007.
Norville, Deborah. Thank You Power: Making the Science of Gratitude Work for You. Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2007.
Novak, David. Taking People with You: The Only Way to Make Big Things Happen. New York: Portfolio/Penguin, 2012.
Pransky, George S. The Renaissance of Psychology. Woodmere, NY: Sulzberger & Graham, 1998.
Schwartz, Tony. Be Excellent at Anything: The Four Keys to Transforming the Way We Work and Live. New York: Free Press, 2011.
Selby, John. Quiet Your Mind: An Easy-to-Use Guide to Ending Chronic Worry and Negative Thoughts and Living a Calmer Life. Makawao, HI: Inner Ocean, 2004.
Seligman, Martin E. P. Flourish: A Visionary New Understandin
g of Happiness and Well-Being. New York: Free Press, 2011.
Wiseman, Richard. The Luck Factor: The Four Essential Principles. New York: Hyperion, 2003.
Acknowledgments
More people than I can mention here have helped keep me up the Mood Elevator, helped me understand the principles underlying it, and provided life lessons in its use.
If I am to start where my understanding first began, I must first thank my mother, whom we all call Nana. She told me over and over again at a very young age that the feelings that are up the Mood Elevator—like love, self-confidence, and wisdom—were God-given gifts that I was born with and that only error in my thinking could keep me from them.
Some of my greatest life lessons over the past 50 years have come by way of raising my five wonderful children: Kevin, Darin, Jason, Kendra, and Logan. They continue to teach me about unconditional love, caring, a purpose beyond myself, being present, and the joy of life through the eyes of a child.
My companion, soul mate, and guide in mastering the concepts underlying the Mood Elevator is my wife, Bernadette. She helps me live them every day and understands them better than I do.
Bernadette and Paul Nakai introduced me to Sydney Banks, the originator of the three principles that formed the foundation of the Mood Elevator, and to George and Linda Pransky of Pransky and Associates, who first taught those principles to Senn Delaney and me.
I owe thanks to Karl Weber, a superb writer and editor, who helped me sharpen and improve the book; and to Neal Mallet at Berrett-Koehler, who convinced me they were the best partner with whom to publish the book.
Index
AARP study, 112
accountability, 35, 54
adaptiveness, 87
adjusting to environment, 46, 87
adversity, 130–133, 155–159
aerobic exercise, 105–108
air travel examples, 94–96, 97–98
Allen, James, 162–163
American Banker, 38
anaerobic exercise, 107–108
anger, feeding/starving, 80–82
anxiety. See worry/anxiety
Apple, 64, 65
appreciation. See gratitude/appreciation
Archives of Internal Medicine, 107
As a Man Thinketh (Allen), 162–163
assumptions
about motives of others, 151–153
about others’ behaviors, 149–150
making positive, 149–150
of positive intention, 144–148
wrong, 64–65
AT&T, 52–53
attention. See awareness/paying attention
attitudes
dysfunctional, 54–55
lighthearted, 95
mild preference, 91–93
organizational, 39
role of thoughts in shaping, 151–152
transforming, 72–73
in upper levels of Mood Elevator, 35
authenticity, 35
“A Wandering Mind Is an Unhappy Mind” (Killingsworth and Gilbert), 118
awareness/paying attention to feelings in relationships, 49–50
to unhealthy state, 48
to warning signs of unhealthy normal, 54–56
to your mood/emotions, 44
Ballmer, Steve, 64
Banks, Sydney, 50
behaviors
beliefs about others’, 90
challenges to our, 158–159
dealing inappropriate, 28–29
effects on others’ thoughts of our, 18–19
healthy/unhealthy, 33
organizational, 33
patterns of, 49–50
role of thoughts in shaping, 151–152
in upper levels of Mood Elevator, 35
being here now, 116–118, 119
being in the zone (flow times), 26
being states, 116
beliefs
challenges to, 158–159
deep-seated, 90
wrong, 64–65
Bell Atlantic, 52–53
Benson, Herbert, 119–120
best self, reconnecting with your, 27–28
Bezos, Jeff, 31
blame-game mentality, 53–54, 85, 141
avoiding the, 144–148
boiling-frog metaphor, 45–46, 47
bother. See irritation/being bothered
braking systems
curiosity as, 81
of elevators, 57–58
breathing
as pattern interrupt, 70
for quiet mind, 119–120, 177
Carlson, Richard, 90
CEO Show, 38
challenges, 130–133
Cherokee legend, 77
Chief Executive, 38
children, thought habits of, 27–28
choices, 78–79
circadian cycle, 102
clearing your mind, 25–26
collaboration, 52, 172
collective intelligence, 31
communication
cautious, 169
during low-mood states, 167
of your ideas, 142–143
composure, keeping your, 28–29
confidence, 161–162
conflicts. See disagreements/conflicts
connections, personal to organizational, 35
consciousness principles of, 90
consciousness principle, 50
contagious quality of moods, 70–71
Cooper, Kenneth, 105, 110
Cooper Clinic, 106
core beliefs, Senn Delaney’s, 33
Cossman, E. Joseph, 102
Covey, Stephen, 144
creativity, 85–86
Csikszentmihalyi, Mihaly, 26
cultural issues
culture of rivalry, 52–53
keeping the culture, 20
merging of cultures, 63–64
neglecting, 39
organizational culture, 34, 39, 51–54
culture shaping
core beliefs and, 33–34
effects of, 66
with executive teams, 104
fostering high-performing, 51–53
L Brands’, 37
using the Mood Elevator, 38
curiosity
as brake, 81
choosing, 65–66
for disagreements, 142
living life with more, 58
responding with, 61
customer surveys, 38–39
daily life, 14–15, 24
dashboard. See human dashboard
Dayton Hudson, 53
decision making, 104
deep breathing, 70
defensiveness, 85
Department of Veterans Affairs, MyVA Advisory Committee, 39
depression
as mood driver, 6, 15
nature of, 82–84
sleep deprivation and, 103
sources of, 3, 15
See also mood(s)
despair, 83–84
diet/nutrition, 109–114
“Dimensions and Perspectives of Gratitude,” 126
disagreements/conflicts examples, 49, 58, 93, 141, 144
going to curiosity for, 142
ground rules for managing, 167–168
making fresh starts, 148–150
managing, 143–144
disaster scenarios, 44, 157
disastrous events, 157–159
diseases/illnesses. See physical fitness
doing down well analogy, 166, 169
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff and It’s All Small Stuff (Carlson), 90
dysfunctional habits. See habits
elevator braking systems, 57–58
Emmons, Robert A., 126
emotional intelligence, 147
emotions/feelings
finding support for, 41
as gift, 41–42
as guides, 42, 143–144, 176
habitual emotional states, 47–48
impatience-related, 43
intense, 164
Mood Elevator concept and, 5–6
negative, 24, 73–75, 78–82
noticing and responding with, 97
positive, 8–9
reacting with, 152–153
research on effects of, 125–126, 127
resisting emotional impulses, 59–61, 66
thoughts as triggers of, 176
ups and downs of, 4–5, 41
See also worry/anxiety
employees
importance of culture to, 20
L Brands’ surveyed, 37–38
Southwest Airlines, 94–95
See also teams/teamwork
endorphins, 70, 108
energy pumps and drains, 71
Enron, 51–52, 152
environment, unconscious adjustment to, 46
Essential Organizational Values, 35, 36–39
ethics, 52, 92
events, how you think about, 16
exercise, 70, 105–109, 126–127
eyewitness testimony, 137–138
faith
forms of, 160
power of, 159–163
through adversity, 177
true meaning of, 163–164
familiarity blindness, 51
family relationships, 129, 172
faulty memories, 138
faulty thinking, 96–98
fish bobber example, 28
fitness. See physical fitness
flexibility, 87
Flourish (Seligman), 128
flow times (being in the zone), 26
food choices, 109–114
forgiving/forgiveness, 81, 150–153
Fortune magazine, 32, 37, 51
fraud, corporate, 52
fresh starts, 148–150
Fricchione, Gregory L., 127
frog metaphor, 45–46, 47
Gallup polls, 32
Gilbert, Daniel, 118
gratitude/appreciation, 8–9, 86
accessing, 128–129