November Blues

by Sharon M. Draper

“Yes, ma’am. I have nothing else to do all summer. I withdrew from the summer college program I had planned to attend, and I decided…I decided not to work or volunteer. So I’m just home feeling sorry for myself and watching myself swell up into a balloon.”

  “Well, there’s a reason for that,” the doctor explained. “Your baby weighs about a pound, and he’s more than a foot long.”

  “Footlong. That’s funny,” November mumbled, almost to herself. Then she looked up at Dr. Holland. “You said he? Are you sure it’s a boy?”

  “I certainly can’t tell by examining your belly. I’m good, but I don’t have X-ray vision,” she replied with a laugh. “We’ll find out the sex of the baby in a few minutes when we do the ultrasound. Have you felt movement yet?”

  “Yeah, I did—just last week,” November reported, her voice full of amazement. “Now almost every day I get a little kick or wiggle.” Unconsciously she rubbed her belly.

  “You’ll feel that all the time now. You’ll find the baby has a rhythm—it will have active periods and rest periods—just like it will after it is born.”

  “Really?”

  “Yep. It can even get the hiccups.”

  “That’s funny.”

  “How’s your mom adjusting?” the doctor asked as she made notes on the chart.

  “She goes back and forth between being excited and supportive, to trying to use that tough-love stuff and make me realize how hard this is going to be. She’s got more mood swings than I do!”

  “So you’ll be keeping the baby?”

  November looked up in surprise. “How did you find out about the Prescotts?”

  Dr. Holland looked confused. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m not trying to pry—I just need the information for our records.”

  “So you didn’t get a call from a slimy lawyer guy named Grant who wanted information about my baby?”

  “If I did get such a call, he would get absolutely no information from me or anyone on my staff. That is privileged and, trust me, very safe.” Dr. Holland put a hand on November’s shoulder. “What’s going on?”

  November relaxed a bit as she tried to explain. “The parents of my baby’s father want to adopt the child when it’s born. They’ve got a lawyer, and they’re not playing.”

  “Why would they want your baby?”

  “I guess the baby would replace their son.” November shrugged.

  “And you’re considering this?”

  “I guess.” November looked down at the floor and wished the doctor would leave the room so she could get dressed.

  “Let me offer you some advice. Don’t sign anything until you’re sure. It’s your baby and no judge will take that child from you unless you spend every weekend doing the hoochie-coochie dance down on Vine Street!”

  “Not likely,” November replied with a small smile.

  The doctor chuckled. “I’ve seen cases worse than that where the judge decided in the mother’s favor. So relax.”

  “But what if the baby really would be better off with Josh’s parents?” November continued.

  Dr. Holland seemed to be uncomfortable with the direction the discussion was taking. “Can’t help you there, my dear. I’m the doctor, not your moral counselor. You have a lot to consider. But, for the moment, there’s something else to think about. Are you ready for this ultrasound? Get dressed and meet me in the room next door.”

  “Is it okay for a boy to be in the room?” November asked.

  “Sure. If he can handle it, I have no problem with him being there with you. You need all the friends and support you can gather. And this part is fun!” Dr. Holland breezed out of the room.

  Dana and Jericho were called in to the ultrasound room. Jericho seemed to fill the room, and his pine-scented aftershave made November feel slightly ill. But she said nothing.

  He looked excited, but really out of place. When the doctor lifted November’s T-shirt to reveal her tummy, Jericho backed toward the door.

  “Get it together, son,” Dr. Holland said, glancing at him. “You’ve seen more stomach in a Victoria’s Secret commercial.”

  “Yeah, but not on November,” he said nervously. But he stayed.

  The doctor adjusted dials as she slowly slid a monitor back and forth over November’s abdomen. The room was silent except for the beeping of the machine and Jericho’s anxious breathing. Gradually a vague figure emerged on the screen. November could see an incredibly small shadow of a person. Jericho and Dana leaned in closer to get a better view.

  “Oh my God,” November whispered. “It’s got a tiny little head, and ears and legs. And are those eyebrows? Wow.”

  “She looks like she’s sleeping,” said Dana. Both girls spoke softly, as if anything louder would disturb the child. Jericho’s eyes were wide.

  “Did you know the baby can recognize your voice, November?” Doctor Holland said.

  “For real? I better be careful what I say!”

  “He’s got a big nose,” Jericho said softly. “At least I think that’s what I’m looking at.”

  “Yes, that’s a nose, and those are arms,” the doctor said, pointing at the monitor.

  “Josh had a big nose,” Jericho commented to no one in particular.

  November had forgotten all her pains and discomforts. “Can you tell if it’s a boy or a girl, Dr. Holland?”

  “Let me see,” the doctor replied as she moved the monitoring device, trying to get a clearer picture. “Hmm, I see one leg. Two legs. Aha!”

  “What? I can’t tell from the picture,” November said, trying to turn her body so she could see the screen better. “Is something wrong?”

  “I didn’t mean to alarm you. Nothing’s wrong. I just got a clear picture. Here—take a look.”

  November stared at the grainy image on the screen. “It’s a girl, Dana,” she said with wonder. “Look at that—it’s a little girl.”

  “Josh woulda been freaking out right about now, man,” Jericho said, shaking his head. “He’d be jumpin’ around like a little boy, boastin’ about what a man he is. Jeez, I wish he could see this.” His voice broke. “November, I gotta go!” November and Dana looked at each other in alarm as Jericho fled the room.

  CHAPTER 28

  FRIDAY, JULY 2

  WHEN NOVEMBER GOT HOME, SHE SAT down and forced herself to eat a tuna salad sandwich, even though she usually avoided fish, and she drank two bottles of water. As she chewed, she thought about all the good stuff her baby was getting. But who was getting her baby? Was she eating well so the Prescotts could buy a healthy kid?

  Feeling restless, she flipped through the television channels, stopping at something on the Discovery Network called Critical Delivery. It was all about mothers who had had complications having their babies. I don’t need to be watching this, she thought. Especially today. But once it was on she couldn’t turn it off—it was horrifying and mesmerizing. One mother’s baby died. Another mother was trying, painfully, to deliver two breech babies. She ended up having surgery, but her twins were beautiful when they were shown close-up at the end of the show.

  I wonder what this baby will look like, November wondered as the show paused for commercials. Sandy hair and freckles? Skinny legs? Curly dark hair like mine? Strangely, she always visualized Josh rather than herself when she thought about the baby’s looks. Somehow she never pictured a tiny little November in her arms. Only a small Josh.

  Finally she forced herself to switch the television off. “I’ve got to get out of here,” she said out loud. She dug in her purse, checked her wallet to make sure she had bus fare and enough to buy a magazine or two, and headed down the street to the bus stop. She figured a trip to the library might help clear her head. She couldn’t remember if Olivia was working today, but she hoped she could hook up with her for a few minutes.

  November breathed deeply in the warm summer air—Mrs. Miller’s roses were in full bloom, and the smell was finer than any perfume. The sun on her skin was just warm enough.
She almost felt as though she were being bathed in gold. It made her think about one of the best vacations she’d ever had, when her mom had taken her to Myrtle Beach a couple of years ago. She had spent hours lolling on the sand, listening to the rhythm of the surf, and basking in the sun. I love sunshine, November thought happily.

  The bus rumbled to her stop and November sat down in the first empty seat. She closed her eyes and thought back to that grainy image on the sonogram. A girl! A baby girl! I wonder how Mom felt when she found out she was pregnant? Did she love me right away? Would she have given me away?

  “When are you due?” a young-sounding voice said, interrupting November’s thoughts.

  Startled, November looked over. A very pregnant girl was sitting next to her. “Uh, I’ve got about four more months. How about you?”

  “The doctor at the clinic says any day now.” The girl wore a very tight hot pink T-shirt stretched over her huge belly and matching pink flip-flops covered with tiny pink daisies. Shiny silver-sparkled eye shadow decorated her eyelids, and she wore her blond hair brushed back into two long braids. This kid looks like a baby herself!

  “How old are you?” November asked.

  “I’m twelve.”

  “Twelve? You’re in middle school?” November’s jaw dropped. She was the same age as Jericho’s brother Todd. “What school do you go to?”

  “Hazelwood Middle School. I’ll be in seventh grade next year.”

  “Do you know a kid named Todd—cute, curly black hair, runs track?”

  The girl grinned, showing off a mouth full of braces. “Yeah, I know Todd. He sat next to me in math last year.”

  November gulped. “How did you, you know…” November pointed at the girl’s bulging tummy. “How did you…I mean, uh, you’re twelve.”

  “How did I get pregnant? Same way you did,” the girl said casually.

  “But you’re just a kid—shouldn’t you be playing with Barbies or something?”

  “I know I’m young, but I’m very mature for my age,” the girl replied. Her fingernails were painted bright green. She dug in her purse, which was decorated with Disney princesses, pulled out a pack of Jolly Rancher candy, and popped two in her mouth. “Want one?” she asked November.

  “No, thanks. My doctor doesn’t want me eating a lot of sugar. Didn’t your doctor say anything about that?” November suddenly felt like an adult, which made her feel really uncomfortable. She shifted in her seat.

  The girl rolled her eyes, the same eye roll November had used on her own mother for years. “Give me a break. You sound like my mother.”

  “I guess,” November replied. They rode in silence for a few minutes, then November asked, “Do you know if you’re having a boy or a girl?”

  “It’s a boy. I’m going to name him Hector, after his daddy. What about you?”

  “I just found out today,” November said, wonder still in her voice. “It’s a girl.”

  “You got a name picked out yet?”

  “Yeah,” November said, “I do. Her name is Sunshine.” The name just appeared on her lips, like a lovely song. But when she said it, she knew it was the only name that would work.

  “That’s a really pretty name. I wish I was having a girl. You get to buy all that cute pink stuff. Girls’ clothes are way cuter than boys’! Pink is my favorite color,” the girl added wistfully.

  November wondered how this kid was going to take care of a baby, and she tried to figure out a way of asking that wouldn’t offend the girl. “So, are you going back to school in September?”

  “Yeah, my mom says I have to.”

  “So who’ll watch the baby?”

  “My mom will. She’s already watching my older sister’s kids, so she won’t mind.”

  “How old’s your sister?”

  “Sixteen. She’s got two kids—Lacey is three and Mickey is almost two.”

  “So, you have a boyfriend?” asked November, feeling slightly incredulous.

  “Sure! Don’t you?”

  “Not really,” November replied as she shifted her gaze past the girl and out the window.

  “Did he dump you when he found out about the kid? That happened to my sister the first time.”

  “No, he died.”

  “Ooh, bummer. Well, here’s my stop. It was nice talking to you.”

  “Good luck,” November told her.

  The girl waved a brief thanks, then waddled off the bus and disappeared into the crowd.

  When people look at me, do they think I look as foolish and pitiful as that kid? November wondered. Probably so. She’d always imagined that when she got married and had kids she’d have it all together with a fine husband, a great career, and a nice house in the burbs—the storybook stuff. By then she’d be able to welcome a new baby with the best of everything—designer blankets and sophisticated educational toys. She’d even pictured the expensive stroller she’d push through the mall. But here she sat, with barely enough money to ride the bus and the very real possibility of having to apply for welfare so she could feed and care for her child. Unless, of course, she gave in to the Prescotts’ demands. Not fair! she thought sullenly. This is so not fair.

  CHAPTER 29

  SATURDAY, JULY 17

  WHEN THE DOORBELL RANG AT ELEVEN in the morning, November, still in her pajamas, peered out to see Dana and Olivia on her doorstep. Olivia held a box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts.

  “You gonna open the door, or do we have to stand out here all day?” Dana called out when she saw November peeking through the curtains.

  November swung open the door and the two girls marched in as if they were on a mission. “Mmm, those doughnuts smell yummy,” November murmured.

  “They’re still warm,” said Olivia enticingly, as she set them down on the kitchen table and opened the box. The sweet smell of sugar glaze and soft dough filled the room. “We got your favorite—chocolate cream.”

  November took one and bit into it with a deep sigh of satisfaction. “Wow. There’s nothing better on a Saturday morning.”

  “My favorite fruit,” Olivia said jokingly, her mouth full. She wore yellow cutoffs and a matching top.

  “That’s a cute outfit, Olivia,” Dana told her.

  Olivia blushed. “Thanks,” she said. “I feel like a big banana.”

  Dana went over to the refrigerator and poured them each a glass of milk. “Drink up, little mama,” she told November. “You need the calcium.”

  “I probably don’t need these calories, and I definitely don’t need this sugar,” November said as she grabbed a second doughnut. “Look how big I’m getting. Doctor said the swelling is not good.”

  “You’ll be fine,” Dana said dismissively. “You just need some exercise. We came to take you to the mall.”

  “I don’t feel like it,” said November, rubbing her hands over her belly. “You two go on without me.”

  “We are not going without you. You been in this house all summer, cooped up like some old lady!” Dana told her. “Get some clothes on and let’s go shopping.”

  “It’s too much trouble, and walking makes me tired,” November whined.

  Olivia stood up and took over the situation like a charging elephant. “I’m not hearing it. First, go take a shower. You’re pretty ripe, girlfriend. Then put on a T-shirt and let’s get some fresh air.” Dana giggled and nodded in agreement.

  November rolled her eyes, but she got up and headed for the bathroom. When she came back down, freshly showered, she felt more cheerful. Dana and Olivia clapped, and the three girls headed for the door.

  “You’re wearing flip-flops?” asked Dana as they headed to her car. She wore neat white K-Swiss tennis shoes, white shorts, and a white tank top.

  “They’re all I got that still fits. Besides, it’s hot. I don’t want to be foolin’ with shoes today.”

  “Your feet are kinda swollen, November,” Olivia observed. “Shouldn’t you wear something with a little more support?”

  “Quit actin’ l
ike my mother,” November pleaded. “Or let me stay home in my flip-flops and watch TV. I’ve gotten hooked on a couple of bowling shows that come on every Saturday.”

  “This is more than a rescue mission,” Dana said to Olivia in mock seriousness as she started the car. “We’ve got to get this girl a mind makeover. Bowling for dollars? Give me a break!”

  “You’re right. Let’s get out of here,” November agreed with an embarrassed grin.

  They pulled into a mall parking space a few minutes later—one reserved for “Ladies in Waiting.”

  “What’s that supposed to be—a cute term for pregnant women?” November asked with a frown as they got out of the car.

  “I don’t know, but it works for me,” Dana said. “Easy parking.”

  “Where do we start?” asked Olivia as they reached the large front doors of the mall.

  “The bathroom,” November replied. “I gotta pee.”

  “You just went before we left,” Dana said.

  “Can’t help it. The kid is sitting on my bladder.”

  “Yuck. We’ll wait for you here,” Olivia declared as November made her way to the ladies’ room.

  When November returned, Dana said, “Let’s try Shoe Carnival first. They’ve got a ‘buy one, get one free’ sale.” They headed to the left and passed a candle shop.

  “Ooh, let’s go in,” suggested Olivia. “I want a new candle for my room.”

  “Something smells just like apple pie,” Dana remarked as they walked in.

  “And peppermint!” Olivia said, sniffing the air. “It’s amazing how they get these realistic flavors into candle wax. Which one do you like, November?”

  But November had hurried out of the store. She stood in the hall, breathing heavily and trying not to gag. “I’m sorry,” she said as they followed her, concern on their faces. “All those smells just got to me. I felt like I was gonna lose my breakfast!”

  “Well, that wouldn’t have been pretty,” Olivia said. “Let’s just go to the shoe store.”

  They passed by a men’s shirt shop and a card shop, then came to the shoe store. “This store smells like leather,” said Dana. “Can you handle it?” she asked November, teasing.