The Lilith Trilogy Box Set

by Kim ten Tusscher

  Ghalatea shook her head. “It doesn’t matter what you did, he should never have punished you like that. You were a child! He had no right.”

  “But he felt really bad about losing his patience with me. He always made it up to me.”

  Ghalatea snorted. “I wonder how he did that.”

  “The next morning, one of the servants came for me. He brought me to my master’s chamber. Of course I was afraid of more punishment, but my master immediately got up and told me he was sorry. He explained to me that I had made him really angry, and I understood why. I promised I would behave the way he wanted me to. It wouldn’t happen again.”

  “No, you clearly had learned your lesson.”

  “My master gave me something to drink and sat beside me on the couch. When my glass was empty, he gave me a piece of cake. He observed me approvingly as I ate every last crumb of the delicious treat.”

  Ghalatea shook her head and gave Lilith a look of compassion. “Was that all he did to make things right?”

  “It was enough,” Lilith lied. She couldn’t tell her what else had happened.

  Her master had told her that he had thought things through. He had reached the conclusion that it would be best if Lilith could control her transformations herself too. His powers extended far, but she would have to go outside increasingly often and she could end up in situations where she needed to be able to change of her own accord.

  As the master caressed her hands, he once again warned her of the humans. He told her they wanted to kill her, just because she was different. Humans were afraid of her and despised her, because they realized that they were lesser creatures than she was. She would never be safe in their world.

  Lilith thought of Maraghon and believed him.

  Then her master spoke the incantations. He patiently taught Lilith the words until she mastered the pronunciation completely. Then he took her to the hall. That had been the first time she had changed all by herself. He was proud of her for learning so quickly. He put an arm around her and gave her a brief hug. Together we can take on the world, Lilith. No one can stop us.

  Everything that had happened was forgiven and forgotten. She was important to her master and that was exactly what Lilith needed to hear. She would do anything for him, as long as he was proud of her.

  “Fortunately, it’s all bygones now,” Ghalatea interrupted her thoughts. “I can well imagine why you fled from him. It’s a miracle you stayed with him for such a long time.”

  Lilith shook her head. Ghalatea knew so little of her life. The Ancilla Princeps had already been shocked by her story so far, but much worse things had happened. This hadn’t been the reason why she had escaped.

  “Are you going to tell the king about this?”

  Ghalatea thought for a moment. “I don’t see how this information is useful to him. But if he asks me about it, I do have to tell him.”

  “I understand. It’s all right.”

  “Maybe it would be best if lord Yvar knew you’re a victim. Ferhdessar seems to work under the assumption that you’re a perpetrator. I’m not sure what he suspects you of, but it can’t be much good.”

  It was best to not respond.

  “Now I understand why you wished you didn’t have such a good memory. It’s almost like you’re reliving it all.”

  “Exactly. That’s what’s making it so hard.” It was nice that someone understood her so well. “What about you?”

  “I’ve repressed everything. Now and again I remember bits and pieces, just like after your flogging. It brought back many memories but they are all just fragments.”

  “Nevertheless, they hurt too much.”

  “Yes. More details would only make them unbearable.”

  Lilith put an arm around Ghalatea. “I understand.”

  “Merzia gave me a new life. It will give you the opportunity to start a new life as well.”

  “Who knows.” Lilith picked up the broom. She thought about what kind of life it would be. “When I’m released, I’ll go live in a little house. Will you come and visit me?”

  “Of course. And I’ll bring freshly baked cake.”

  Lilith nodded and started sweeping again. Ghalatea followed her.

  “I would grow lavender underneath my windows,” Lilith fantasized out loud.

  “You should plant sage. It signifies that a woman is in charge in that house.”

  Lilith chuckled. “Very well, I’ll plant sage.”

  “An added advantage is that sage keeps evil at bay. You know what, I’ll bring you some to keep in your room.”

  Lilith stopped sweeping and put a hand on Ghalatea’s shoulder. “I’d like that very much, thank you.”

  The Ancilla Princeps nodded and disappeared in the opposite direction. In good spirits, Lilith raked the dust together. She glanced back at the Ancilla Princeps one more time and started humming. She envisioned a bright future for herself. But first she had to pay off her debt to the king. Maybe he would be willing to set her free sooner if she worked harder.

  Farther down the corridor she turned right. A man approached her from the opposite direction. He was alone but he clearly wasn’t a soldier. When he glared at her, Lilith noticed his absent expression. The man scratched his head, causing his sleeve to slide down. His wristband revealed him to be a prisoner as well. He nodded at her before he disappeared through a door.

  Lilith started sweeping faster. She was curious to know where the man had gone. She cautiously stuck her head around the doorpost. With a start she recognized Ferhdessar. He stood with his back to her. The man stood in front of him. He had uncovered his arm, which he held extended to Ferhdessar. The sorcerer uttered a few words and removed the band.

  The man instantly transformed from an obedient person into someone with unprecedented rage inside him. Screaming, he ran at Ferhdessar.

  “Who do you think you are! What gives you the right to oppress me!”

  He raised his arm and flexed his muscles. Ferhdessar was the taller of the two, but the prisoner looked much stronger. His absent expression had given way to a blind rage. His arm came down.

  Lilith was surprised that the sorcerer didn’t even move. It seemed as if he was waiting for the moment the man would hit him.

  Suddenly the man went down on his knees. His movements were slow and he had difficulty forming his words. “You were only just in time, lord sorcerer.”

  Lilith was surprised at the sudden changes. What had Ferhdessar used to cast a spell on him? The man extended his arm so Ferhdessar could put his wristband back on. The man’s submissive behaviour disgusted Lilith. In her mind she encouraged him to jump up and strike the sorcerer down. He wasn’t expecting it right now.

  “Tell me, Lilith, did you enjoy that?”

  Blood rushed to her cheeks. Ferhdessar hadn’t even turned around. How did he know she was there?

  “Impressive, isn’t it, how I can control someone so well with such a small object?”

  He finally turned around. He held out his hand to her. Between his fingers he was holding a little piece of wood.

  “What did you do to him?” Lilith hissed.

  “I was told that this is a splinter of the yoke used by the Gods to submit the devil to Their will. Judging from what I just saw, I believe it wasn’t a waste of money.”

  She clenched her fists. Ferhdessar’s gaze slid down to her wristband. “It hurts, doesn’t it?”

  Lilith shrugged and she averted her eyes.

  “It’s good to know you can take the pain so well, maybe I should readjust the band. Bareld, could you explain to her what just happened? I think she values your words more than mine. Lilith could perhaps benefit from the same treatments.”

  “Treatments?” sneered Lilith, “That’s nice window dressing for something Ghalatea calls creepy experiments. Are you insulted when I say her description is more fitting?”

  The man cut in. His voice was void of emotions, just like his face. “Ferhdessar is helping me to control my anger. I
detest not being able to do it myself and I’m grateful that he can help me. I wear the same wristband as you, but it still hurts a lot. So we’re looking for another solution.”

  Lilith snorted in disbelief. “You’re nothing more than an object for him to test his tricks on. He doesn’t care whether it helps you or not. He only wants to increase his power.”

  “How can you say that? You don’t even know me,” Ferhdessar said.

  Lilith ignored him. “How can you allow him to do this to you?”

  The sorcerer answered the question, “Some prisoners are offered a reduction of their sentence if they help me with my research. It’s their own choice to participate or not. I’m sorry you were never offered this choice, Lilith, but I’ll ask the king if I can make you such an offer. Then you can buy off part of your sentence.”

  “I’ll never allow you to perform such experiments on me,” she said, stepping backwards.

  Bareld cut in again, “It’s not as bad as you think. Ferhdessar treats us well.”

  Lilith shook her head disdainfully and her voice trembled. “He has total control over you. You aren’t yourself in any sense.”

  “If anything, I’m much more myself. Now that my anger no longer dominates everything, there’s more room for the rest of me.”

  “I don’t believe you. My eyes tell me a completely different story. I know what sorcerers are capable of. You have no free will any more, he has complete control over you. It only makes it worse that you think this was your own choice. The only thing that sorcerers want is to control others.”

  “You aren’t talking about me, are you?” Ferhdessar concluded, scrutinizing her attentively. “Which other sorcerer do you know, Lilith? What has he done to you?”

  “I am talking about you,” Lilith screamed in panic. She turned around and left the room. She didn’t start sweeping again until she had put several corridors between herself and Ferhdessar.

  5

  The door to her room opened when she came out of the lavatory. Ghalatea and Ferhdessar entered together.

  “I’m sorry, Lilith. I can’t hold him back any longer. You’ll have to go with him today. Unless you’re willing to answer his questions,” the Ancilla Princeps said. The red blotches on her neck were evidence that she hadn’t given in without a fight.

  The sorcerer smiled smugly.

  “I was expecting this, Ghalatea,” Lilith sighed. She slipped her feet into her shoes and took another bite of an apple. “What are you going to do if I don’t want to tell you anything?”

  “You’ll see. In any case, you’re going to work for me. Why not combine your punishment with my assignment?”

  Lilith followed him reluctantly. “What do I have to do?”

  “You’ll find out soon enough.”

  A few minutes later, Ferhdessar opened a door for her. When she hesitated, he pushed her into the room.

  As Ferhdessar sat down behind his desk, Lilith looked around the room. There were books on the shelves, and models of strange machines stood next to them. There were also jars, containing things that looked like animals. Lilith shuddered. More flying machines were suspended from the ceiling. There was one wall without any shelves. It was covered from floor to ceiling with drawings of wings and skeletons. Other sheets of paper had texts and schematic drawings, explaining thermals, scrawled all over them. Pretty much everything was untidy, except for the desk the sorcerer was sitting at right now. It was empty, except for a few pencils, a sheet of paper and a pile of books.

  “Can you read?” he cut into the silence. Lilith nodded, so Ferhdessar tapped on the pile and said, “Put these back on the shelves, in alphabetical order.”

  Was this why he had brought her here? She shuffled forwards an picked up a book.

  “If you put away only one book at a time, it’ll take much too long. I have other things for you to do.”

  Lilith sighed and piled more books on her arm. This man intended to play a game with her to break her, but she wouldn’t let that happen.

  There was a long silence. Even when Lilith had put away all the books, Ferhdessar didn’t look up straight away. He calmly continued on with his work. His ruler moved across the paper and his pencil drew lines with quick strokes. As Lilith was watching him, she suddenly saw her master before her. The sorcerer she had served her entire life had always been busy writing. Ever since her childhood, she had been told to clean his room without disturbing him in any way.

  “Great, you’re finished. There’s a bucket in the corner. I’d like you to empty the shelves and clean them.”

  Lilith did as he asked. She was holding the books that she had just put back on the shelves for a second time. She was convinced he had done this on purpose, but she didn’t complain. After the books, she started with another shelf. She carefully picked up the jars. Horrified, she took a better look at the animals in formalin preservation. She couldn’t understand why anyone would want them in their room. And there were so many of them. After she had wiped the shelf clean, she put everything back exactly as it had been. That was also something she had learned as a little girl. Finally, she picked up one of the scale models.

  When she turned around, Ferhdessar suddenly stood in front of her. Lilith tensed up and backed away. To her dismay, the sorcerer came closer again. He put his hand against her cheek. His skin was warm, but there was a sense of coercion in his touch. Then his hand slid down to her neck.

  “That’s an extraordinary necklace you’re wearing…” he mumbled. “You could use it to pay off your debts to the king outright.”

  Panicking, Lilith slapped his hand away. At the same time she dropped the model. It smashed to pieces on the wooden floor.

  Ferhdessar looked at her in amazement. “So, the king was right when he said you’re stronger than you look. Tell me, Lilith, where do you come from?”

  His voice now almost sounded commanding.

  “I’ll never tell you.”

  She pulled her collar tightly around her neck, so Ferhdessar could no longer see her necklace. At the same time, she walked to the other side of the room. She tried to keep him at bay by casting furious glances at him, but he didn’t seem impressed.

  “What are you hiding from me?” he asked.

  Lilith snorted. The pain in her arm increased, but she welcomed it. It helped her keep a clear head.

  “It’s going to take more to get me to talk,” she said provokingly.

  “So that’s how you want to play this game? Have it your way.” Ferhdessar removed an object from his belt and showed it to her.

  “The king has given me permission to test this on you.”

  Lilith started to shiver. “What is it?” she squeaked.

  “This is the key of truth. You might as well start talking, Lilith.”

  She yanked the door open. The door handle, however, slipped from her fingers and the door slammed shut. Her breathing became faster. She tried to open the door again but it wouldn’t budge. She turned around slowly. Ferhdessar stood five steps away from her and his hand was extended towards her. Puzzled, she looked away.

  Suddenly she ran straight at him. After three strides she felt a blow as if she had run into something. Utterly surprised, she stood still. She didn’t see anything other than Ferhdessar, who now had both hands raised. She reached out with her hands and felt along the invisible wall that Ferhdessar had put up.

  “Where do you come from, Lilith?”

  As he asked this, he moved the key in her direction. Lilith braced herself to resist the urge to answer, but to her astonishment she didn’t feel an irresistible desire to tell him anything.

  “It looks as if it’s not working, Ferhdessar,” she scoffed.

  “Of course it’s not working. I haven’t even used it yet. I was only showing it to you, so you can think about my proposal to have your debt remitted in exchange for helping me.”

  Lilith was confused. When he pointed at the model on the floor, she really didn’t follow any more.

 
“Aren’t you going to clear that up?”

  “You made me drop it.”

  Ferhdessar’s hands hardly moved, but Lilith felt something brush along her face before it pressed down on her shoulders. The pressure increased for a moment, but then it disappeared again.

  “Aren’t you going to clear that up?” he repeated.

  Lilith nodded, feeling nauseated. Fighting off the pain, she sunk to her knees.

  The sorcerer looked down at her with contempt. “Oh, Lilith. I don’t understand you. You force me to hurt you even though I ask so little of you. Just answer my questions and I’ll leave you in peace.”

  “You’ve given me no reason to trust you.”

  “What is it that I’ve done?”

  “You’re a sorcerer…”

  “That can’t be the only reason.” He knelt down beside her, whereupon Lilith moved away. “Tell me the name of the sorcerer that you’re so afraid of.”

  “Fine, I’ll answer your question.”

  Ferhdessar’s eyes briefly glowed with expectation.

  “His name is Ferhdessar.”

  “Vixen!”

  His face darkened and he shoved her aside. Lilith rolled over the floor. She squealed but wasn’t sorry that she had brought this on herself. She felt empowered for being able to stir up such a response in him. She would never have dared to do something like that to her master, but she wouldn’t let this sorcerer control her.

  Ferhdessar stood up straight again. “Get up.”

  Lilith turned to her stomach, but before she could raise herself up entirely, Ferhdessar dragged her up by her arm and pulled her against him.

  “This has gone on long enough. What can you tell me about pontifex Peschi?”

  “What…? How…?” Lilith felt the blood drain from her face.

  Ferhdessar was clearly surprised by her reaction. He briefly loosened his grip on her arm and scrutinized her.

  “So you do know something about him,” he muttered, “and even more than I expected.”

  “I have no idea who you’re talking about.” Lilith tried to sound indifferent.