The Lilith Trilogy Box Set

by Kim ten Tusscher

  Lilith was walking in front of them. She threw suspicious glances over her shoulder at the sorcerers, but she didn’t ask anything. She turned back to Kiril and asked him to tell her more about the attack.

  “She’s vulnerable and I’m not sure how she’ll respond right now when she hears what happened. I hope you won’t tell her anything.” Ferhdessar answered quietly.

  “It’s none of my business,” Afifa answered.

  Fortunately, she wasn’t being as difficult about is as Anukasan was. The eagle man didn’t understand what was at stake, this was a matter that concerned all of Merzia, and perhaps even the entire world. How could he worry about the well-being of one single person at a time like this? Annoyed, Ferhdessar shook his head and looked around.

  As they walked along the edge of the cliff, they had a clear view of the beach. Kiril was telling Lilith what had happened.

  “I’ve never experienced anything like it,” he said, shaking his head.

  Lilith looked down. People were searching the ghostly emptiness of the coastline for anything that was still recognizable. There was nothing left. Everyone was keeping a fearful eye on the sea, but they were perhaps also hoping against better judgement that the missing people would suddenly come walking out of the water.

  “The sea drew back many yards, and fish were lying all over the place. We thought it was an omen of the Gods. We thought that the Goddess Phoibos was going to reveal herself to us.” The man shook his head again. “Then we saw the mountainous wave. At first, everyone was rooted to the spot, but then panic broke out and everybody started running. The wave overtook them with a thundering roar…”

  Kiril was quiet for a while, and Lilith let her gaze travel along the cliff face.

  There was no way to escape. These people had been trapped between the cliffs and the water.

  “After that, it all happened again. The sea drew back a second time, and a wall of water came at us. The houses vanished into the sea, pontoons and all, without leaving a trace. Thousands of people disappeared. All this happened before the fish creatures showed up.”

  Lilith shivered, because she understood that he was talking about the servi.

  Suddenly someone clung on to her. “Have you seen Séyda?”

  Lilith shook her head. “I’m sorry.”

  The woman started to cry. Lilith wrapped her arms around her and held her tight. It seemed to calm the woman down a little bit.

  “I’ll look out for her,” Lilith whispered, even though she didn’t know who to look out for.

  The woman freed herself from Lilith’s grip and almost immediately turned around and started yelling again. The incident kept haunting Lilith as they walked on.

  “There’s hardly any chance of Jadea finding her daughter alive. Most people are hoping to at least find the bodies of their loved ones, so they can say goodbye. But there’s not much chance of that either,” Kiril said.

  “Why did the enemy suddenly retreat?” Lilith asked curiously.

  Ferhdessar immediately pushed himself between them.

  “Hey, you could just ask, you know,” Lilith called out indignantly as she was shoved aside by the sorcerer.

  Ferhdessar, however, was already deep in conversation with Kiril and didn’t respond. So Lilith decided to go walk beside Afifa.

  “I know what you are, Lilith.”

  Lilith looked away.

  “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.”

  “How do you know?” Lilith asked, studying Afifa’s face. The woman shrugged. They walked on in silence.

  They passed the dead bodies that had been laid out in long rows. Family members who recognized their loved ones were hysterical. At the end of one of the rows, a young man was kneeling beside a body. He kept reaching out but every time he pulled his hands back before they touched the body.

  Lilith was trying not to look at it. But scenes like that were playing out everywhere. Soldiers were laying the bodies on wagons to transport them. The dead servi were taken away as well, but they were simply thrown on the wagons.

  “Where will you burn the bodies?” Ferhdessar asked the Governor of Havv’n, who had joined their company.

  The man looked shocked. “Burn? I gave orders to bury them, just like we always do with our dead. The burial ground is behind that line of trees.”

  He was pointing at a row of birch trees. There was an opening in the middle. Ferhdessar sped towards it. Lilith rushed after him. She caught up with him near the trees. In front of her and to the right were the older graves. Slanting headstones indicated the oldest ones. Off to the left, men were busy digging new graves and placing the bodies in them.

  “This is unbelievable,” Ferhdessar sighed. Then he turned around to face the Governor. “I had hoped that you were at least digging one hole for all the bodies. It’s madness to bury everyone separately.”

  “It’s important that the dead keep their bodies. They can’t exist in the hereafter without them. You know that. This is the only thing that we can do for the next of kin.”

  “By doing this, you’re making sure that those next of kin will join the dead a lot sooner than they would like. The bodies need to be burned.”

  The man protested, “The people are irritable, and the situation is highly explosive. The tiniest issue can set the whole thing off. And burning the bodies isn’t a tiny issue.”

  “When you bury the corpses the bodies will decay as well. They will get eaten by worms. People are stupid not to acknowledge that!”

  This was the second time since they had arrived here that Lilith noticed that Ferhdessar had lost his self-control. When she asked him about it, he said, “I haven’t been given a rewarding task. Nevertheless, I’ll do what’s good for this town and its inhabitants. Unfortunately, my decisions won’t make me popular. If I let them bury the bodies, people will eventually die because of epidemics, but it will make me popular. Choosing to protect them, however, makes me the bad guy.”

  Lilith felt for him. She didn’t understand why the Merzians had problems with burning those bodies anyway. In Naftalia that was common practice. She didn’t really care either way. Maybe it was for the best if she didn’t have a body any more once she was dead. At least there would be nothing left for God to punish.

  “I do want to be cremated when I’m dead,” she therefore told Ferhdessar.

  He frowned at her and turned his attention back to the Governor. “Have the bodies piled up, so that they can be burned.”

  “There will be a massive uproar.”

  The sorcerer put his hand on the man’s shoulder. “There’s no alternative.”

  “People are going to try to steal the bodies of their loved ones to bury them somewhere else.”

  “Collect the bodies first. The soldiers will guard them. The cremation can take place on the beach, it’s too dangerous to transport the decomposing bodies through town.”

  The man wanted to raise another objection, but then he saw the king’s signet ring on Ferhdessar’s finger. He quickly bowed.

  “After that, you inform the people,” Ferhdessar continued.

  “Find men who agree with the cremation. They can build a platform. I want all bodies burned by nightfall.”

  The Governor sighed. His reluctance was showing on his face.

  Ferhdessar, however, wasn’t impressed. He turned towards Kiril and ordered him to gather enough soldiers to keep the angry citizens at bay. The general saluted and took off.

  The news that Ferhdessar had ordered the bodies to be burned travelled fast. Lilith could tell from the crowds of people being held at bay by the soldiers during the erection of the platform that there was much resistance. The men she was helping build the platform were the ones who hadn’t turned against the authorities for having failed to protect the town. These were the kind of men who clung to their leaders in times of need, in the conviction that they knew what was good for them. It was hard work and the muscles in Lilith’s arms started to hurt more and more, but she ignore
d the pain.

  At the beginning of the evening, the platform was finished and they could start piling up the bodies. Ferhdessar had been able to keep the people reasonably calm during the day, but now onlookers started to scream and elbow their way to the front of the crowd. A group of civilians managed to break through a line of soldiers. They grabbed the bodies they could get a hold of and dragged them away. The soldiers had to resort to violence to get the situation under control, which of course induced even more resistance.

  Lilith tried to block out the shouting of the bereaved as much as possible. She was standing on top of the platform, hauling up the bodies that others handed to her. Some of the people that Lilith got hold of had been dead for almost three days. She had tied a cloth over her nose and mouth to block the stench of the decomposing bodies. Flies were buzzing around her head, but she hardly noticed that either. She sympathized with the bereaved, who were visibly shaken by the fact that these victims were going to be cremated.

  Suddenly something did manage to break through the barrier that she had put up.

  “Séyda! Séyda!”

  Was that woman still looking for her child? As Lilith hauled up the next body, she let her gaze travel along the crowd of people. There was Jadea. She was clasping her hands to her mouth and she was screaming. Then she pointed. Lilith looked at the body in her arms, it was a little girl. She looked back at the woman.

  Now that Jadea had finally found her daughter, she threw herself between the soldiers. Ferhdessar grabbed hold of her. The mother scratched at the sorcerer, screaming for her child. She struggled in vain.

  Lilith turned around and laid the girl down with the other bodies. When she looked at Jadea again, she saw that the woman had fallen on her knees. She was still screaming her daughter’s name. Her screams were heart rendering. Ferhdessar only seemed annoyed and motioned for some soldiers to remove the woman.

  “Just give her a chance to say goodbye to her daughter,” Lilith yelled at him. Her compassion for Jadea was growing.

  “If we let her do that, everybody else will want to do the same,” Ferhdessar answered unflinchingly. He didn’t even take the effort to turn around and face her.

  “Some compassion might not go awry. It’s hard enough on these people as it is.”

  Two soldiers had pulled Jadea to her feet, but Lilith extended her hand to her. She expected Ferhdessar to interfere, but he was distracted by other disturbances. The soldiers were confused. Jadea seized the opportunity. She pulled free and grabbed Lilith’s hand. Lilith hauled her onto the platform. Then she put an arm around the woman’s shoulders and accompanied her to her child.

  “Jadea?”

  The woman stared at her with glassy eyes. They were swollen from her tears.

  “I don’t know anything about your customs, Jadea, so you have to tell me what to do.”

  Lilith supported her as she went down on her knees.

  “Will you pray with me?” the woman asked.

  Lilith nodded and folded her hands like Jadea did.

  “Gaia, have mercy upon my daughter. I beg You, if You can, please let her live on in the hereafter.” She bowed her head and started crying again.

  Lilith put an arm around her shoulders and whispered her own prayer. “Rest in peace, Séyda. You’ll be missed in this world from which you were taken so abruptly. I hope you’ll find peace.”

  Lilith looked at the child’s mother again. Her shoulders were shaking. She looked Lilith straight in the eye and gave her a grateful nod. Nevertheless, Lilith was taken aback by the enormous sorrow in her eyes. Defeat seemed etched on her face forever.

  “I hope you can reconcile yourself with the fact that your daughter is going to be cremated,” Lilith whispered.

  Jadea’s gaze travelled along the partly decayed bodies. “I do understand, but I’m glad I got to say goodbye. And I have you to thank for that.”

  “In my country, the dead are burned as well. The bereaved make figurines out of clay as a body for the soul.” It all sounded so silly that Lilith started to blush. “Maybe it’s an idea,” she whispered, ashamed.

  Jadea, however, smiled through her tears. “Thank you. I can always try.”

  They hugged each other.

  “Could you tell the others that I’ll pray for every body that passes through my hands? I understand how difficult Ferhdessar’s decision is for everyone, but maybe it will soften the pain a little bit.”

  Jadea nodded, and Lilith helped her down the platform. As the mother was reunited with her husband, Lilith hauled the body of a soldier onto the platform. This man’s body was burned for the greater part. He must have fought near the gate, because that was the only place where Lilith had seen traces of fire. She fought the urge to throw up when she dragged him away. His flesh was charred in several places and yellowish slabs of skin hung down his body. She tried not to think about how this could have been one of her victims. She hadn’t come to Havv’n to hurt people. This man had been murdered by the servi.

  A few hours later they were finished. Accompanied by the singing of Gaia’s priest, Lilith walked onto the beach. The funeral pile was lit when she reached the surf. Lilith avoided looking at it as she undressed. The memories hurt too much.

  She closed her eyes and lowered herself down into the water. When the water washed over her, Lilith felt a stinging pain. She jumped back up. The water rippled at her feet as Lilith looked at her body in bewilderment. There were little wounds everywhere on her arms and legs. There were wounds on her stomach as well. This couldn’t have been caused by the branches she had hit during her fall.

  A woman walked up to Lilith.

  “I’ll take you to your room.”

  She unfolded a blanket. Lilith quickly wrapped it around herself. She left her dirty clothes behind in the surf. They were going to be burned later on.

  Lilith followed the woman along the narrow path to the top of the cliff. An encampment had been erected next to the fortress that day. The woman guided her past the tents until they reached a one-storey building.

  When Lilith was alone again, she lit a lantern. She dropped the blanket to the floor and studied her stomach. The wounds were uncannily regular. They went up from her belly button in two rows and followed a staggered pattern. When Lilith looked even closer, she discovered that the wounds didn’t consist of one big hole, but of five smaller ones. It was really difficult to see, because they were so close to each other.

  The door opened. Ferhdessar came in. He immediately turned his back to her and apologized. Lilith quickly threw on some clean underwear.

  “You can turn around now. I have to show you something. The soul box has left some more traces.” Lilith showed him her arms. “It’s everywhere. Also on my legs and my stomach.”

  Without saying a word, Ferhdessar let his gaze travel along the red dots on her stomach. Lilith had wanted him to come up with a reassuring explanation, but the sorcerer didn’t say anything. When she was fully dressed she asked, “Shouldn’t you write this down?”

  Ferhdessar looked puzzled at first, but then he took out his notebook. “Of course, of course. Why don’t you go ahead and have diner?”

  He pointed at the serving tray that he had put down on the table. Lilith looked at it, feeling uncertain. There were two bowls of soup, but one was bigger than the other. The same was true for the plates. She decided to take the small bowl.

  “That one’s mine. I presumed that you would be hungry after all your hard work, so I brought larger servings for you.”

  With the large bowl of soup in her hand, Lilith lowered herself down into a chair. With the first mouthful she realized how hungry she really was.

  “Thank you for being so considerate,” she said in between mouthfuls when Ferhdessar came to sit next to her. He regarded her closely. Lilith started to blush. “What’s wrong?’

  “I was wondering if you’re sorry that we arrived too late, and if you would have wanted to fight against the servi.”

  Lilith tho
ught for a moment. Then she nodded. “Yes, I would have wanted to do that.”

  Ferhdessar smiled.

  “I don’t know if I would have been able to,” Lilith continued, “but I like the idea of it.”

  “I’m impressed by you. Ever since we left Nadesh, I’ve begun to understand you better. You’re on the right track, Lilith.”

  “Do you really think so? It’s nice to hear you say that.” Lilith yawned.

  “You must be tired. Do you have a preference for either bed?” He gestured at the two camp beds.

  “Will you sleep here as well?” The thought made Lilith uncomfortable.

  “There might still be servi around. Therefore, I thought it best to share a room.”

  Lilith nodded. Without caring either way, she pointed at the left bed. The sorcerer took the lantern with him to the other bed and waited until she was lying down before he turned off the light. The bed creaked when he lay down.

  “See you tomorrow, Lilith.”

  “Good night, Ferhdessar.”

  16

  The next morning, Lilith and Ferhdessar paid a visit to the encampment. This was where the people who had lost their houses were being brought together. There was a disarray of improvised tents, constructed out of poles and tarpaulins. It was mainly women and children who were sitting in front of the tents. The men had either died defending the town or were busy helping with the reconstruction. It was a miracle that so many people living close to the sea had survived the waves.

  Everywhere they went, people stared at them. Some people were just curious, but others seemed full of hate. Lilith understood why the people felt that way about Ferhdessar, but sometimes the suspicious looks were specifically directed at her. It made her feel uncomfortable.

  “Why are they staring at us like that?” she asked the sorcerer.

  He briefly glanced around him. “They don’t trust strangers any more now that they’ve been attacked out of nowhere. But you don’t have to be afraid. Seeing you with me is enough reason for them to leave you alone. You’re under the protection of the king.”