The Lilith Trilogy Box Set

by Kim ten Tusscher

  “Filthy priest, still performing your cruel rituals?” Seraph turned around to let the light of the fire illuminate his scars. He pushed the arrow further into the priest’s body. “Will it never end!”

  Winsu tried to fight him off, but Seraph forced the priest to the ground and placed his boot on his throat. The priest was reaching for to the sword he had used to sacrifice the wildebeest. The weapon, however, lay beyond his reach.

  Seraph raised his sword. He enjoyed the look of terror in the priest’s eyes. He flexed his muscles and Winsu’s eyes grew even wider. Seraph laughed as he brought down his sword.

  “No!” Winsu squealed. He was pushing against Seraph’s leg and lay writhing and wincing under his boot.

  The moment the tip of the sword touched the priest’s chest, Seraph stopped.

  “So you want to live?”

  Winsu nodded. “Yes!” His scream sounded like a whisper.

  “Are you absolutely sure?” Seraph asked, leaning on his sword. Winsu nodded again, his hands gripping the blade. “All right, I’ll take you with me. You can spend the rest of your life locked up in a cage, and learn how to truly yearn for the day you die. I’ll feed you tiny bits of food, so it’ll feel like you’re on the verge of death, with only just enough life in you to not actually die. Your every breath will be a painful reminder that the suffering still isn’t over.”

  Seraph enjoyed the prospect and gazed around. The square was filled with dead bodies. Flames were licking the houses.

  “Leave them to the scavengers! Our job is done!”

  Seraph hauled Winsu up and dragged him along. He threw the priest over the back of a horse that he found wandering in the village. Then he mounted his own horse and rode off, leaving the other Purified men behind, and leading the mount with the priest after him. Only when Nander rode up next to him, did he pull in his reigns.

  “Finally!”

  His shout carried far into the dark night. Seraph slapped Nander on the shoulder, laughing loudly. The adrenaline was still surging through his body.

  “It’s been a long time since I saw you this ecstatic, Seraph.”

  “This is our new life, Nander! Forget about Jakob! Forget about Kasimirh! We have waited long enough. From now on, it’s all about us!” He spurred on his horse. Behind him, the priest was groaning continuously.

  3

  Lilith woke up because the servus was pushing against her shoulder. Frightened, she crawled away from him. She had noticed before that the creature’s skin colour was turning more and more ashen, but now pieces of loose skin were hanging from his body.

  “What’s the matter? Are you dying?”

  As she stammered the question, her loathing turned into glee. But that feeling disappeared as quickly as it had come. If the servus died, she would be on this island all by herself.

  The servus peeled a piece of skin off his arm and held it in front of her. Then he brought her finger to another piece of loose-hanging skin. Lilith understood that he wanted her to do as he had done. She pulled carefully. The skin felt like paper and came loose easily. The creature gave her a satisfied nod and lay down. Lilith continued reluctantly. She tried to do the job as quickly as possible and only touched him with her thumb and index finger. She let the pieces of skin fly away on the wind.

  She wished she could do the same with her thoughts, but knew she wouldn’t be able to. Since their arrival on the island four days ago, her head was spinning with everything that had happened in Merzia. Sometimes she felt as if she had just woken up from a dream, because dreams often didn’t make much sense either.

  Lilith stared at the sea. Nightmare was a better word to describe what had happened. With every movement she was reminded of the flogging she had been sentenced to by the king of Merzia. Spending several days in salt water hadn’t done her body much good, and because she was sleeping on the bare floor, the scars on her shoulders and back were constantly causing her pain. She sighed and rubbed her shoulder. She felt the welts beneath her fingertips. When she closed her eyes she could still see the executioners maliciously brandishing their scourges.

  Lilith’s thoughts were rudely interrupted by the servus pulling her hair. “Go on!”

  She cleared her mind and resumed her task.

  It wasn’t long before her mind wandered back to Merzia. The memories of her flogging were by far less painful than her other memories of the country. She hadn’t been treated all that badly. She’d been given a luxurious room, and the food had been wonderful. Ghalatea had taken good care of her, and for the first time she had felt what is was like to have a mother. Lilith smiled for a second, but almost instantly became sad again. She had left that life behind at the beach of Havv’n when she had made the decision to return to Kasimirh. The good side of Merzia would never be her world again, and that realization hurt more than Lilith was willing to admit.

  Choosing Merzia would have meant choosing Ferhdessar.

  Lilith became angry with herself. She was a fool to have trusted the sorcerer. She had given him control over her body, and he had abused her trust. He had made her fight in Havv’n, which had led to victory for Merzia, but Lilith had paid an extremely high price: she had killed her own boyfriend during the battle.

  She forcefully pulled on a piece of skin. With a groan the servus bolted upright and hit her. Lilith automatically hit back. She immediately regretted her action. The servus jumped to his feet and knocked her to the ground. Her forehead smashed against some rocks, blood trickled into her eye. The servus pulled her back up and shoved a stone into her hands. He showed her how to scrub his skin with it. Lilith reluctantly followed his example, meanwhile trying to push aside all her emotions. She was stuck on an island with a servus that was using her as his slave, there was nothing she could do about that, so it was best to accept the situation.

  She wasn’t given much chance to let her mind wander. Every time the servus wanted Lilith to scrub harder, he hit her. There was no use complaining, because that only led to even more beatings. The only thing she could do was proceed with caution and hope that she didn’t hurt him. Nevertheless, she couldn’t prevent getting hit a couple of times more. Every blow reconfirmed her position. She was the slave, and he was the master. Her duty was to please him.

  Slowly but surely the new skin became visible. When Lilith had finished, the servus rewarded her with a sip of water.

  “Is there anything else that you desire, meistri?”

  The servus shook his head.

  Lilith walked into the sea to wash off the little flakes of skin. She stared at the scabs on her leg. Her grief over Chrys flared up again, and the memories she’d been able to suppress for a short while returned.

  “This is your new life, get used to it,” she told herself out loud.

  Or you find a way to escape, whispered a voice in her head.

  She turned around and gazed at the small island further on. That was where the servus went to get fresh water. Lilith could see the trees and she watched little boats sail by. The other island wasn’t all that far away, but it nevertheless lay beyond her reach.

  Lilith walked a bit further out into the water, to where it was deeper. She pulled up her legs and tried to swim. Even though she was thrashing her arms and legs about, she couldn’t stay afloat. She quickly put her feet down again. Lilith tried anew but had to give up again. Swimming was her only way out, but she didn’t know how, she had never been taught.

  When she walked back, she suddenly saw her master. She immediately noticed how bad he looked. He was sitting hunched over on a rock, and his usually immaculate white clothes were in rags. She stopped at a distance. Because of the spy that Ferhdessar had sent, she had assumed that Kasimirh wasn’t alive any more. It was a surprise that he had come – that anyone had come.

  Kasimirh looked up and smiled. He beckoned her to come closer. Lilith obeyed reluctantly.

  “Don’t be shy. Come, sit with me.”

  She knelt down beside him. Shivering, he stroked her
head. There were small wounds on Kasimirh’s face and his eyes looked tired.

  “God’s fire has returned,” he said to no one in particular. His eyes twinkled with happiness.

  “What happened to you, master?” Lilith whispered, afraid to ask the question out loud.

  “I fought Ferhdessar.”

  “Did you win?” Lilith asked hopefully.

  Kasimirh shook his head. “I’ll tell you what happened later. First, I wish to sleep.”

  The servus pulled Lilith to her feet and ordered her to clean the place where she had slept the past few days. Time and again, he pushed her back to her knees because he wasn’t satisfied with her work. Lilith had thought that her master would put an end to the whole slave-meistri charade, but looking at him, she saw that he paid her no heed.

  Only when she had thrown aside even the tiniest pebbles, did the creature nod his approval. He picked up the cape that the master had laid aside and spread it out on the ground. Kasimirh dragged himself to his feet and walked towards Lilith. She helped him to lie down. He ordered her to stay, so she sat down next to him on the ground.

  The servus was sitting a bit further down. He was sharpening his barely half-inch-long nails with a piece of rock, because the master had promised him that instead of a slave, he would now become a warrior.

  Lilith was scrutinizing the sorcerer. He looked exhausted and was breathing heavily. She felt an urge to lay her hands on his wounds, but she was too scared. The master wouldn’t understand that she meant well and get mad at her for disturbing his sleep.

  The sun was setting when the master finally woke up. He looked at Lilith. “Help me get up. I’m stiff from lying on the hard ground.”

  “I’m sorry, master.”

  “It isn’t your fault, Lilith.”

  She kept supporting him until he was seated on the rock again.

  “Get me three fish,” Kasimirh said. The servus dived into the water and Kasimirh turned to Lilith: “Gather the wood that has washed ashore.”

  Half an hour later, they were sitting around a campfire. Kasimirh put down the fish in front of him and cast some spells. Out of nowhere, three damping trays of food appeared. The master handed them out, and again Lilith noticed that his hands were shaking. His voice faltered for lack of breath as he said prayer and thanked Jakob.

  “Are you ill?” Lilith asked warily.

  “No, just tired. I’ve been using too much magic lately.”

  “But I could have just eaten fish!”

  Kasimirh shook his head. “We had to celebrate your return, my child.”

  His words made Lilith feel special. A feeling that she always longed for and which made her want to do anything for her master. That was how it had always been.

  When they had finished their dinner, Kasimirh summarized his fight with Ferhdessar for them: “This time he won, but that won’t happen again, because next time, you’ll be by my side.”

  Lilith smiled at the thought. She found Ferhdessar a loathsome man and said so out loud.

  Kasimirh nodded. “Soon, things will be different. We have a glorious future ahead of us, Lilith. First, we’ll bring Merzia over to our side. That will be a huge step towards achieving Jakob’s goals.” Lilith nodded as Kasimirh explained his plans to her: “But for now, we go back home. I have to regain my strength, and you deserve some rest as well.”

  “I’m not tired.”

  He suddenly looked at her. His grey eyes locked onto her own, making it impossible for her to look away, no matter how much she wanted to escape his scrutinizing gaze. He continued warily, “After that, we return to Merzia. With your help, Nadesh will soon be defeated. After you’ve killed King Yvar, I’ll take his place. It might take a few weeks before the people are prepared to follow me, and that’s where you come in. Just like you have always done, you’ll convince the people that it’s best to convert to Jakob, because then they’ll be safe and the world won’t be destroyed.” He took her chin in his hand. “I know you don’t want to kill any more, so I won’t ask you to unless it’s absolutely necessary. Only those who support the king unconditionally will need to be eliminated. They stand in the way of my dreams. You understand that, don’t you?”

  Lilith nodded again. She absorbed the words without thinking about their exact implications. She had resigned herself to her fate the moment she had seen her master at the beach. There was no other choice.

  “I’m so glad that you’ve returned,” Kasimirh said. “I promised you before that I was going to change, and I will keep that promise. If you want me to, I’ll make it easier on you, and I’ll be honest with you.”

  “Thank you, master.”

  He caressed her on his way back to his sleeping place.

  Lilith stared at the moon hanging low over the water. An unpleasant feeling in the back of her mind cried for attention, but she pushed it away.

  The next morning, Lilith was still sitting in the same spot. She hadn’t been able to sleep. From the sounds of it, her master had just woken up, but Lilith kept her distance. Back when she was living with him, he had always been the one to initiate any contact.

  A bird’s cry was immediately followed by Kasimirh’s voice. “Lilith, come here!”

  She got to her feet and walked back to the others. The servus was holding a bird by its wings. It was flapping wildly and was unsuccessfully pecking at the servus’s hand with its hooked beak.

  “What is it, master?”

  “I want you to see this.”

  He pointed at the eagle and cast a few spells. Lilith realized that he was forcing the animal to change, and she prayed to Jakob to not let it turn into Anukasan. Lilith heaved a sigh of relief: it was an unfamiliar woman. The embroidered emblem on her uniform glittered; the golden dragon looked defiantly at her.

  “Another spy,” she concluded unenthusiastically.

  Kasimirh nodded and turned towards the woman. She was still trying to escape, but the servus held her tight. “Who sent you?”

  “I serve lord Yvar.”

  “Yes, yes, but who gave you your orders?”

  “General Kiril.”

  “What was your assignment?”

  The woman glanced at Lilith. “I was to find her. Wherever she was, you would be as well.”

  “That plan can’t have been Kiril’s. Did Ferhdessar come up with it?”

  The woman gave him a derisive shrug.

  “All right, I’ll give you one chance. Convert to Jakob and I’ll spare your life.”

  “My life is devoted to the God Wigg. I pray to Him and eleven other Gods. Jakob is one of Them.”

  “Wigg and the other ones don’t exist. I’m giving you the opportunity to experience a true religion. Renounce the other Gods and surrender yourself to Jakob!”

  “Never!”

  Kasimirh produced a dagger from beneath his clothes and turned the hilt towards Lilith. “Would you like to kill this spy?” Stupefied, Lilith stared at her master. Before she could answer him, Kasimirh said, “Well, you do agree with me that she has to die, don’t you? She would have turned you over to the Merzians if we hadn’t caught her. And what’s worse: she doesn’t want to follow Jakob.”

  Lilith nodded slowly and looked at the woman. Two orange-brown eyes looked back at her.

  “Would you like to kill her?” Kasimirh asked again.

  Lilith was mad with the woman, but she wasn’t angry enough to want to do what Kasimirh told her, so she shook her head. The master motioned the servus to let the woman go. Before Lilith could avert her eyes, the creature’s sharp nails pierced the spy’s throat. Her body shook briefly before she fell face first into the sand. Lilith retched. The servus roared with proud laughter.

  Kasimirh gave her a penetrating gaze. He looked concerned. “It’s time for you to move on. The servus will bring you home.”

  “I don’t want to go with him. I want to stay with you.”

  “Don’t you understand?” he roared. Shocked, Lilith took a step back. “That was Ferhdessar
’s second spy. Now that she won’t return either, they’ll know exactly where you are. You can’t stay here any longer.”

  “But you can protect me, right?” Lilith asked timidly. The thought of being alone with the servus again scared her.

  “Foolish girl. Can you only think about yourself? You do realize that I’m not strong enough to protect you right now, don’t you? If I’d had the strength, I would have made you a new amulet by now. The servus will take you home. Nothing is going to happen to you.”

  The sorcerer rummaged around in his pouch and produced a little flask. With his hand underneath Lilith’s chin, he forced her to tilt her head back. As the first drops trickled down her throat, she felt her body grow warmer.

  “Good,” she heard the master say as he took away the flask. His voice sounded distant.

  Lilith dizzily collapsed to the ground. She tried to sit but failed. The world around her became blurred. She didn’t even notice that the servus dragged her back into the water.

  4

  Having closed the door behind him, Ferhdessar stood still. It was nice to be back in Nadesh. He put his bags down and walked to the window overlooking the small villages to the east. This was his favourite spot to sit and think. The city’s altitude created a distance to the world that helped him clarify his thoughts.

  He stretched his back, because it was hurting from the long ride. He still hadn’t completely recovered from the fight with Kasimirh. Afifa had insisted on another treatment, but Ferhdessar had refused. More than that, he was pretty aggravated that the sorceress had dared to use her diabolical tricks on him. His body had been itching for days after that first treatment: a clear sign that she had done something bad. Afifa, of course, hadn’t agreed with that interpretation. She said the itching was a sign that his body was healing.

  The door opened, and Ferhdessar turned around. Ghalatea entered the room. She apologized.

  “I hadn’t expected you back so soon, so I haven’t completely finished here.” She pulled the blankets off the bed and used clean bedding to make it up. “I haven’t had time for Lilith’s room, either.”