by Mercy B
Sighing under the cover, Reed kicked her legs back and forth –frustrated. She was so upset with Keem. He had fucked up her vision, plans, and future with his unfaithfulness. Reed had the right mind to go upstairs and have it out with Danity, but it would solve nothing. Besides, Danity’s loyalty wasn’t to her, Keem’s was. She knew nothing about Danity, so it wasn’t her responsibility to shield or protect her feelings. Reed wasn’t one for drama, anyhow.
Smacking her lips, Reed tried to fight the flow of tears that seemed to be waiting for her break. “Reed, are you okay?” KinZu asked.
“No.” she admitted. “It just hurts.” She folded her arms over her chest.
“I know.” KinZu nodded. “Reed?”
“Yeah?”
“I need a graduation dress. I was thinking that we could go and get me one. Maybe getting out will make us both feel a little better. At least, we won’t think about it as much while we are out.” KinZu suggested. She was willing to do anything to ease her pain, even if only for a second.
“You’re right. Let’s get out of here. My head is throbbing. If I lay any longer, it will explode. I need to get some food in my system as well.” Reed blew out a fresh breath.
“Me too. I could use a bite.”
Twenty minutes later, both Reed and KinZu were dressed. They didn’t bother doing too much with their attire, because neither was up to it. They barely wanted to go out in public, but they knew it was best. Sitting around sulking would only make things worst.
“How are you feeling?” Reed asked KinZu. “Are you sure that you need to be up and out?” She hadn’t thought about the procedure until now.
“It’s completely fine.” KinZu assured here. “Are you ready to go?”
“I am. Let me get my cell and we can head out.”
“Has Keem called?” KinZu asked.
“I don’t know. I blocked his number… All of them.”
“Jonathan called me last night. I didn’t answer, so he texted.”
“Did you let him know about the procedure.”
“I did.”
“And what did he say?”
“He never responded.” KinZu saddened. “I can’t help but to wonder what I ever did to him, Reed. I mean… Why would someone treat a person so unkind? I’ve done nothing to him. The only thing that I’m guilty of is loving him a little too much. That’s it.”
“KinZu, the sad reality to both of our situations is that we didn’t do a thing. As perfect as we are or think that we may be, it just wasn’t enough. They wanted more. Not that we aren’t enough, but they always want more. I’m starting to think that it’s just a man thing. Meek did it to Bella. Roc did it to Kelly.” Reed sighed. “I just don’t want to end up accepting something that hurt me so bad. Like, there is no coming back from the things that Keem and Jonathan has put us through. I mean, do you know how I felt seeing those messages. I wanted to die, KinZu. Anyone that has the power to make me feel that way and DOES, then I don’t need them in my life.”
Reed was completely truthful with her words. “You’re right.” KinZu nodded. “Let’s get out of here.”
“If I was you, I’d block Jonathan’s ass, too!”
“You’re right, I should.”
As Reed walked out of the dormitory, she wanted to scream. Her beating heart was just hitting the alarm on his Maserati as she crept down the sidewalk. Looking around, Reed wondered if he’d be able to catch up to her if she ran back inside. Reed had known that she’d be seeing Keem, but she didn’t expect it to be so soon. She just wasn’t ready. Immediately, the emotions she’d tucked away came pouring in.
“No. Don’t think about it. You’ve got this.” KinZu encouraged. “Remember you said not to let them see you sweat.”
“Sweat? Bitch, I’m about to cry. You can’t use that on me, Kin. This is… It’s way different.” Reed began to become overwhelmed with anxiety as Keem stared at her.
With her head hung, she avoided eye contact. Everything about his demeanor was different. He looked pitiful, sad, and heartbroken –similar to Reed. They both looked pathetic. KinZu’s heart yarned for them to reconcile, but she’d never allow Reed to hear her voice it.
She secretly wanted Reed to recognize the pain that Keem had caused himself by hurting her, put his ass in time out, and then accept her man back. Unlike Jonathan, Keem had the decency to respect Reed and love her properly. Minus his small flaw, they’d had a smudge-less relationship. It was perfection, one that KinZu idolized.
“Again, you’re right. But still, keep this shit tight.”
“Okay.” Reed pulled herself together.
“Reed, can I talk to you for a second.” Even his tone was different. Keem had approached Reed, and caused her feelings to stir.
He sounded so dejected that she wanted to reach out and hug him, pick up his face with her hand, and kiss his full lips. However, she just couldn’t. One part of her was grateful for whatever pain he was feeling. He’d caused her the same. It was only right that he suffered, too.
“It depends on what we’re discussing. Kin and I are headed to handle business, so I don’t have much time.” Reed sighed.
“I won’t be long. You have my word.”
“That doesn’t mean much of nothing these days, Keem.” Reed shrugged, punching Keem right in the gut.
“Ouch. I had that coming. KinZu, can I burrow her for one quick second. Please… Kin, I truly apologize about yesterday. Shit was just…”
“I know how it goes, Keem.” KinZu waved and went to sit on the bench that was furthest away from the couple. She opened her Instagram app and dug through her timeline, tuning Reed and Keem out.
Keem was happy on the inside, just a bit. He’d expected Reed to curse him and tell him to go to hell, but she’d agreed to talk. He was jumping for joy, but also praying that he had the correct words to sooth her broken heart. Knowing that he wouldn’t get many chances, he had to come with it the very first time.
“I appreciate you even talking to me. I’ll just start with that.” Keem spoke first. They’d begin to walk along the sidewalk, making their way to Keem’s car. “Do you mind just sitting in the car while I talk to you?”
“Yeah. I do mind. We can talk outside.” Reed sassed.
“Okay. That will due.” He nodded. “How are you?” he asked once they’d made it to his ride.
Stone faced, Reed couldn’t believe that he’d just asked such a rhetorical question. “As good as I was just yesterday.” She revealed.
“Fuck. Okay. That was the wrong question.” Keem squeezed his eyelids together, trying to find the words to say. “I mean…”
The words just wouldn’t come to mind. Before coming to the campus, he’d practiced what it was that he wanted to say, and thought that he had his shit down pact. However, with Reed looking so beautifully scarred, he was at a loss. Nothing that he’d thought to say would register in that moment. His mind had gone completely blank.
“If you’re coming to apologize, there is no need to. I can see it in your eyes, your demeanor, your missing smile, the absent glow, and just everything about you says that you’re sorry. However, you being sorry changes nothing Keem. My heart still aches…” Reed stopped, attempting to hold back her tears. “I still can’t do anything but imagine you with her.” she hated to even say it. “And what you guys have.”
“Had. Reed, we aren’t about to have shit. I’m marching right up them steps and putting a stop to that shit. I should’ve never started. I was just a fucking nut, yo! Ain’t none of that shit meant to me what you do. That’s dead, Reed. Done!” Keem stressed.
“And it still doesn’t change anything Keem. Had I not seen what I did, I’d still be walking around here thinking that you’re this perfect guy. You’re nothing like the rest, but…”
“I’m not! I’m not like them dudes. I’m solid. All day. Everyday. I did that dumb ass shit, but don’t dare compare me to them Reed. You know I ain’t like that.”
“I don’t know you as much
as I thought I did, Keem.” Reed crossed her arms over her breast, lowering her head.
“You do know me, Reed. Don’t say that, you. Don’t fucking do that to me. You know me. Aight?” he asked. Reed didn’t respond. “Listen, I ain’t come to get you worked up, or nothing. I just wanted to send you my deepest and sincerest apology. I ain’t sleep one wink last night. Yeah, I hurt you… and that shit made me hurt my motherfucking self. I’m fucked up out her, yo. I couldn’t even fucking eat.” Keem had never used so much profanity in his life. “I can hardly even think. I feel like I’m missing out here. When you walked out of that door, you took half of me with you. I ain’t that nigga out here without you, Reed. I’m not shit.” He expressed. “I know you need your space and your time, but come home to a nigga when it’s all said and done. Can you just come back to a nigga and grace him with your space? I need that, yo!” Keem waited for an answer, but all he got was tears.
Grabbing Reed into a hug, he placed his hand on top of her bun. Pushing her face into the space between his neck and chin, he spoke his truth, “You’re the only girl in the world for me. We have to make this work. Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do it. Just tell me, yo. Don’t leave me out here to rot.”
It was baffling as to how Keem was the problem, but he was also the solution. Reed didn’t understand how the same person that had caused her pain was the only one who had the power to take it away. As much as she wished that she could forget about his existence, she craved it. More than anything, she wanted him to remove the strain that he’d put on their relationship, erasing the past 24 hours of her life. Reed needed for everything to go back to the way that it was just two days ago. The night that she’d given him herself, wholeheartedly.
“I have to go.” Reed whispered to Keem.
“Please. Just another minute.” He pleaded.
“I have to go.” Reed couldn’t take it anymore.
“Can you take my number off of the blocked list?” he stepped back and allowed her to get herself together.
“You’re asking too much of me. I need my space. You made your decision. It left us here, at nothing. Deal with it Keem.”
“I’m fucking dealing with it. What do you think I’m doing, having a fucking parade because you’re gone? I’m miserable.” He gritted his teeth. “Just… Just think about it Reed. Sorry for getting you worked up. When it’s all said and done, just remember that I won’t stop until you’re back where you belong. I can’t. Your absence won’t allow it.”
With that, Keem got into his car and peeled off. Reed was frozen in time, allowing his words to set with her. She was aware that he would stop at nothing to get her back, but she needed him to chill. He’d chosen his own fate, and now he had to deal with it. All of the sobbing and shouting in the world wasn’t going to mend her broken heart.
“You ready to go?” KinZu asked, Reed hadn’t even heard her come up.
“Yeah.” Reed nodded.
“Bella, here, can you take mine and Kin’s picture?” Reed attempted to hand Bella her cell.
Their graduation had just concluded, and the clan was all in attendance. Everyone was proud of the girls, because they’d done exactly what they set out to do. As promised to herself, Reed was named valedictorian.
“I’m not the designated picture taker.” Bella turned up her nose. “I’m tired.”
“You’ve only taken three pictures. How are you tired?” Reed asked, rolling her eyes at Bella. She was being so bratty.
“I’ll take it.”
Reed’s heart cried at the sound of sadness and dejection that Keem’s voice displayed. He’d been present the entire graduation, but hadn’t said much to Reed. Being that it was her day, he didn’t want to cause any friction. However, he wouldn’t have missed it for the world.
As nasty as their breakup was, Reed was expecting RaKeem’s presence at the graduation. Had he not been there, she would’ve been devastated. Even with him playing the background, his presence was felt. Distress lingered with Reed, but she wouldn’t let it consume her on such a special day. KinZu felt the exact same way. She’d avoided Jonathan during their entire graduation, and he was apart of the graduating class.
“Bella.” Reed pleaded with her eyes.
“Keem said he got it.” Bella smirked. She was all for her brother-in-law and Reed making amends.
“Whatever.” Reed hissed, handing her phone to RaKeem.
“Step over to the right a bit. The sun is beaming right down on KinZu’s face.” He observed.
Doing as they were told, both KinZu and Reed moved to the right. “A little more,” Keem directed.
“Ugh.” Reed complained. Still, they moved a bit more. They were now in a completely different direction.
“Here.” Keem handed Reed her cell after taking a really good picture.
“Thanks,” she said, using her manners. Their hands touched, igniting the burning desire that resided in them both. Catching each other’s glare, their eyes met briefly.
“It’s all good.” Keem smiled.
Pretty predictable, Reed dropped her head, looked through her camera roll, and pulled up the picture that they’d just had taken. Keem watched as she narrowed her eyes, and then they became big as saucers. His heart smiled, seeing as though she had recognized his surprised. It was obvious that she liked it.
Looking up towards Keem, she started to say something, but nothing came out. Turning, she looked over her shoulder at the red Bentley truck that was caught in the picture that RaKeem had taken. He’d wondered how he would present her with her graduation present, and didn’t have a clue. However, when she asked for the picture, the idea came to mind.
Keem’s driver stood outside of the truck with a black sign, with “Congratulations Reed” written in red. Reed had to admit that the gesture was unique, and reeked of RaKeem. Staring at the truck, she admired it from a distance.
“Are you going to go take a look?” Keem asked, anxious for Reed to check out her new toy. He’d imagined her running to the truck in glee, kissing him all over his face as she jumped up and down. At least a week ago, when he’d purchased it, that’s how he imagined her reaction. However, that was before he’d stomped all over her heart. “Don’t you like it?” he asked –wanting Reed to say something, anything.
“I love it.” She told him, turning back. He sighed, happy to have done something right. “But I can’t accept it.” RaKeem’s smile dropped, and his heart fell to his feet. That was not the reaction he was expecting.
Looking around at the smiling faces of the family, he tried to gather his thoughts. Seemingly, everyone was rooting for them, why couldn’t Reed see that? Why couldn’t she run to her new toy with glee? Why couldn’t she kiss him all over his face? Why wasn’t she jumping all over him? Why couldn’t they go back to a week ago, when things were cool?
“Reed.” He stared into her eyes. “Don’t.” he begged. “Just… Please.” Keem couldn’t remember begging so much in his life.
“I can’t Keem.” She choked up. Turning on her heels, she took off. KinZu left her mother’s side, and ran behind Reed.
Defeated, Keem threw his hands in the air. RahMeek stepped from on side of his wife and came to his little brother’s rescue. “I’m not getting rid of the truck,” Keem assured everyone. “Cause, that’s Reed’s truck.” His voice sounded off.
Everyone looked on, sad for him. The twinkle in his eyes had died, in a matter of seconds. “And Reed deserves that truck. That’s why I got it for her, Meek. It’s bad, huh? She deserved it.” He shook his head. “She’ll come back, won’t she?” he looked up to Roc. “Won’t she?” Roc looked off.
“Yes RaKeem,” Bella spoke up, knowing that he was in need of some reassurance.
“Right Bella. She’ll be back, and her truck will be waiting for her. For now, I’ll just put it up. I’ll store it.” Keem nodded his head. He searched on the ground for his beating heart. It had to be there somewhere. “Yeah. That’s what I’ll do.”
Roc lower
ed his head, feeling RaKeem’s pain. Meek, too, could directly relate. He patted his little brother’s back, trying to lighten the mode. “You trying to show me up, huh? Now the wife will be asking for an upgrade. Reed is going to be driving in style.”
RaKeem couldn’t even muster up a smile. He felt that it was time to make his departure. “I’m going to get on out of here.” He called out. “I have a meeting in a few. Can someone give this to Reed, please?” he reached into his pocket and pulled out a velvet box. “I think she’ll like this, too.”
“I’ll give it to her.” Bella stepped forward and held her hand out.
“Thanks Bella.” He handed Bella the small box that held the bracelet that he’d had customized for Reed.
“No problem. You get on out of here, so that you won’t be late for your meeting.” She reached in and hugged Keem. “It’ll be fine. Just give it more time.” she whispered, for his ears only.
“She’s done with me.” he chuckled, “She’s really done with me. Can you believe that?” Keem questioned, pulling away from Bella’s embrace. After shaking up with the fellows, Keem walked off.
14
Two months later…
“Here, please don’t forget these!” KinZu threw Reed two balls. Just like Keem, they’d become her best friend. The past two months had proved to be more stressful than she’d like.
“Lord knows I can’t forget those.” Reed chuckled.
“You ready?”
“Like Freddy!” Reed chuckled.
Lately, she’d gotten her smile back, and it felt good. Graduation and heartbreak were both behind her, and she was looking forward to her life as a college graduate. Taking her friend and family’s advice, Reed had begun her business plan. She’d be starting a consulting firm for women in business. She was excited, and couldn’t wait to get it off of the ground.