by Rina Kent
“Are all the tickets really gone?” He narrows his eyes.
Okay, so I might have lied about Elites’ game tickets. It’s the only way to keep him from bugging me, sort of.
He’s a Xander fan through and through.
“Yeah, promise.”
“I’ll ask him for tickets next time.”
Of course he will. This is just a temporary solution. Kir is smarter than I give him credit for.
“Don’t bother him.”
“He said I don’t.”
I pause. “He did?”
He nods frantically. “He always asks his cook to make me brownies and lets Ahmed play with me. Xan says I can call him when you can’t pick me up.”
“Don’t tell me you did.”
He looks away.
“Kir!”
“Don’t worry, Kimmy.” Kir grins. “Xan will lie and say you dance better than me.”
I make my hands into claws. “Well, is he going to lie and say you’re not ticklish?”
“No, stop it.”
“Here comes the gorilla for the monkey.”
“Nooo!” he shrieks as I attack him, tickling his side until he gasps with giggles and laughter.
It’s only after he raises the white flag that I finally leave him alone and kiss him three times – two on his adorable cheeks and one on his forehead. “Sweet dreams, little monkey.”
“Night, Kimmy.”
I push his hair back and kiss him one more time before leaving his room.
After changing into a denim skirt and a camisole, I go outside just in time to find Ronan pulling in.
We agreed to meet once the game was over, but I never thought he’d be here straight after.
He swings the door of his Mazda open and barges outside. He still has bruises around his mouth from the fight with Xander.
It must hurt.
Just like all the bruises Xander came to school with must hurt.
No, I don’t care about him.
Ronan gathers me in a hug, scooping me off the ground. “We won!”
I squeal as he spins me around before finally putting me to my feet.
“So happy for you.”
“Liar.” He glares at me. “You could’ve been happy by actually being there.”
“I had to spend time with Kir.”
“Or you could’ve brought him with you.” He leans in to whisper, “Which means, you’ve been running away.”
“Fine. Can we go?” I really don’t want to run into Xan if he comes home now.
Although the football team usually celebrates the win at the Meet Up after every game, I’m not taking any chances.
“Sure.” He ushers me into the car, even opening the door for me.
He’s such a gentleman – protective, caring. Why can’t I fall asleep thinking about him? Why can’t I obsess over him? Have my chest squeeze for him?
If I’d had a choice in my heart’s admission process, it would’ve been Ronan.
Or that’s what I tell myself.
The car revs into life, leaving the neighbourhood, and I blow out a long breath.
“He didn’t play,” Ronan says with a smile that’s different from his easy-going ones.
Xander didn’t play? But why? He’s always a startup, except that time the coach punished him and Aiden because of a fight.
But I won’t allow myself to get sucked into that orbit. I stare out of the window at the upper-middle-class villas passing us by. “I don’t care.”
“Coach knows about the fighting and drinking and benched him,” Ronan continues, deaf to what I said.
I face him, unable to help myself. “Fighting and drinking?”
“He has an issue.” Ronan taps his fingers on the steering wheel as if he’s enjoying music that doesn’t exist.
He doesn’t go on, and if I didn’t know better, I’d say he’s playing with me.
“So? What type of issue?”
His grin nearly splits his face open. “Told you, fighting and drinking. He used to control it before, but lately, he’s been appearing hungover and barely holding on. His face has some cuts, and there are bruises on his body. He doesn’t pay attention to practice or studies or even himself. Today, he came drunk and the captain had had enough.”
“If his dad knows, he’ll be in trouble,” I murmur to myself, then realise I said it aloud.
“Pretty sure Coach called him by now,” Ronan hums. “I think there’s talk about sending him to a closed rehab and he’ll only come back for his diploma. It’s no secret Lewis will lose his shit on him. After all, this is an election year.”
Something in my chest squeezes, tightening harder the more I ignore it.
“He brought it on himself,” I say, then change the subject to the game.
Ronan launches in on his heroic accomplishments and the decisive pass he gave to Aiden so that he scored their only goal.
As we go into the restaurant, I laugh and smile at his goofy behaviour. We even commemorate the dinner with a selfie in Ronan’s over the top style. He wraps an arm around me and tucks me to his side, kissing my cheek.
Although I’m laughing on the outside, there’s something cutting me open and slicing me to tiny pieces on the inside.
I order a salad, even though Ronan says they have diet-friendly food, but I don’t eat any of it.
My body is right here in this high-end restaurant that I shouldn’t have worn a denim skirt for. The setting has an elegant brown and white combination that gives a certain type of serenity.
Not to me.
Although I’m present, smiling at what Ronan is saying, my mind is elsewhere. I’m thinking about the theories of what Lewis could do to Xander. Ronan said it. This is an election year for him and Silver’s father. They completely disallow any type of mishaps in normal days, let alone when the campaign is so close to starting. I wonder if Silver’s disappearance for the past two days has something to do with that.
Point is, Lewis has always been as strict with Xander as Mum has been with me. That day Aunt Samantha left, and Xander went home crying for her, Lewis fixed him with a glare and told him to not cry for her.
Since then, I’ve never seen tears in Xander’s eyes.
“Earth to Kimmy.” Ronan leans over so he’s close.
“Sorry, you were saying?”
“That you should take a chance.”
“Take a chance?”
“Yup.”
I swallow my non-existent saliva. “On you?”
Despite my talk, I don’t think I can do that. As Elsa said, it really sucks to force oneself. While Ronan adds flavour to my life, he’s not my favourite flavour.
He’s not pistachio.
“No, on you.” He pinches my nose.
I pull away, confused. “On me?”
“Yes, Kimmy. You’ve been thinking about Knight all night – that wasn’t supposed to rhyme – so how about you act on it?”
“I haven’t been thinking about him all night.” Right?
“Uh-huh, come on, ma chère, c’est moi.” He wipes his mouth, then scrolls through his phone. “I think I gave him enough evidence.”
I lean sideways in an attempt to see what he’s scrolling through. “Enough evidence?”
“He was home when I hugged you earlier and…” He turns the phone to show the selfie he posted on Instagram. The caption says, New Leaf. Go Elites.
My lips part to object, but I end up saying, “I don’t think it matters.”
“It does. He wants to move on, but there’s something holding him back.”
“Something like what?”
“I thought you would know.”
“I’m not sure.” If he can’t forgive me because of what happened seven years ago, then he shouldn’t act this way.
He shouldn’t kiss me, corner me, tell me I can’t hide from him.
It’s too cruel.
Ronan raises a finger. “Let me try one last push.”
He types for a few seconds, then
shows me his texts to Xander.
Ronan: Feeling cute, I want to fuck a cute girl tonight. Like Kimmy.
Ronan: Jackpot! She just said yes.
Ronan: Wish me luck. Wait, I won’t need it. Tell the school we won’t be coming for a few days.
His words don’t surprise me since I know he’s joking. What makes my chest tighten is the fact that Xander saw all his texts, but there’s no reply.
Not even currently typing.
“He’ll snap.” Ronan smiles
I wouldn’t be so sure.
“Or we can do as planned.” His grin widens. “My place? I have the best stash of weed.”
My phone vibrates, and I startle.
The moment my eyes fall on the name across the screen, my heart nearly bursts out of its confinement.
Xander: Remember when you promised you’d never leave me?
My fingers tremble as I read and re-read the message. Before I can fathom a reply, another text comes.
Xander: I free you of that promise.
15
Xander
Get your shit together. You’re not a kid anymore.
If Lewis had punched me, it probably wouldn’t have hurt like the stab of his words.
Being a politician, he has a way with them, words. He knows which to use to make you feel as if you’re the filthiest scum walking the earth. There’s no differentiation between family or strangers.
Lewis has allies and enemies. Spoiler alert, I fall on the last line.
Deep down, he’s always blamed me for Mum leaving, because I was an annoying little shit. I blamed him for never caring for her, for telling her to, ‘Get your shit together, Samantha.’
One day, she got her shit and left.
For Lewis, people are machines. One button and they run. Another button and they stop.
Too bad he has a machine of a son who runs on a different type of liquid. I pour the last drops in the vodka bottle down my throat and groan when there’s nothing.
I tap my pocket for a joint of weed I stole from Ronan’s bag. Nope, nothing.
Did I smoke it earlier?
You mean when he was hugging her and you watched like a pussy?
Yes, whoever is talking to me right now. When he was squeezing her body to his and I watched through the window. Only, I did something. I crushed the glass in my hand and came out with a cut over my palm.
I bandaged it, but the cloth is red and full of dry blood.
Just beautiful.
Or fucked up – depends on how you look at it.
Kirian trotted over the moment Kim left, saying he couldn’t sleep. I gave him just a small piece of brownie since it’s night, and we played a video game until he dozed off, and I placed him in the room down the hall from mine.
I was about to resume my drinking session when Ronan sent me that text and I might have thrown good alcohol across the room. Then Ahmed came over. He doesn’t approve of my newest habits, and it’s not because of his religion.
He gave me a look. That one that says he might or might not be disappointed in how I’m wasting his efforts in bringing me up. He helped re-bandage my hand and left.
His silence sliced me more than Lewis’s words and I’ve been kind of drowning in an ocean of my own choice. Good old vodka.
The door to my room opens and I barely stare back. I’m sitting on the chair in the dark, an empty bottle hanging from one hand and the bandaged one lying limp on the other side.
The light goes on, blinding me. I squint, but I don’t move my gaze from the window.
“Turn it off,” I slur. “I can’t see if it’s too bright.”
Close to midnight, no sign of her.
Just brilliant.
Way to go, Ronan. You got me.
And we need to revisit our friendship now. Either I kill him or I kill him, there’s no between.
“The fuck?” Aiden stares down at me with both his hands in his pockets. “No one mentioned a self-pity party.”
“Fuck off.” I motion at the door with my bottle.
“Are you okay?” Cole approaches me while Aiden flops on my bed and rummages through my CDs, making himself at home.
“Give me that.” I motion at the joint in Cole’s mouth. He passes it over and I take a long drag, then blow the smoke back up. “Shit, it’s just a cigarette.”
“You’re welcome.” Cole retrieves his cigarette and inhales the smoke before exhaling it through his nostrils.
If he’s smoking, shit must be hitting the fan for him, too.
Cole is a mood smoker.
“What did your father say?” Cole asks.
“You mean after you snitched to Coach that I’m drunk and he called the principal and my dear old dad?”
“Everyone smelled vodka on you, Knight.”
“More like breathed it.” Aiden leans on an elbow and grabs a ball to twirl it on his index finger.
I lay my head back. “The usual. I’m not allowed to ruin his image and blah fucking blah.”
“And the rehab,” Aiden adds. “He asked Jonathan for recommendations. If my father knows, then it’s happening.”
“At least you’ll stop getting drunk like a fool.” Cole raises an eyebrow.
“And you’ll stop the self-pity parties.”
“And the pussy moments.”
“Speaking of which, why don’t you get some?”
“Great idea.” Cole retrieves his phone. “I can call Summer or Veronica, or maybe both.”
“Add Silver to the menu and I might be interested.” I grin.
His expression doesn’t change as he tucks his phone away. “None, then.”
“Why not?” Aiden smirks. “I like Knight’s idea.”
Cole cocks his head in Aiden’s direction. “You of all people get to shut the fuck up, King.”
“Petty little bitch.” Aiden’s attention returns to me. “So, little bitch two, I don’t have all night to nurse your drunk arse. Are you going to get your shit together or should we all vote for rehab?”
“He’s going to take her virginity,” I say the only thing I’ve been thinking about. There’s so much pain in my voice, so much…fucking resignation.
“Who and who?” Cole asks.
“Yeah, details. Nash has a virgin kink.” Aiden raises an eyebrow. Cole narrows his eyes on him, then focuses back on me.
“Ronan, that fucker, is going to take her virginity,” I slur.
“That is, if she’s still a virgin.” Aiden throws the ball in the air. “This is the twenty-first century. Not everyone is waiting for a knight in shining armour. Sorry, I meant a drunk fool.”
“Kimberly might look innocent, but those are the most hardcore,” Cole adds.
“Take his word. He knows his shit.” Aiden points at Cole.
“Not better than you. Elsa seems like the hardcore type.”
Aiden’s grey eyes nearly turn black as his left one twitches. “Think about Elsa in a hardcore way again, and you’ll be buried in Jonathan’s new construction site.”
Cole smirks. “Is that a promise?”
“No, the promise is unbinding her,” Aiden says.
“She is none of your fucking business.”
Aiden raises a brow. “Are you sure, though?”
Cole flips him off then studies me again as if I’m one of his philosophical theories that he needs to set straight. “How are you sure Kim is a virgin?”
“She just is, okay? I know.” And I heard her mention it to Elsa a week or so ago when they had their girls’ sex talk, and I might have learnt shit about Aiden I can’t bleach from my mind.
And yes, in case you haven’t figured out yet, I’m a fucking creep.
“Not that you can do anything about it.” Aiden slams me with the harsh reality. “So we might as well go back to my pussy suggestion.”
“Or you can do something about it.” Cole places a hand in his pocket, taking a long drag of his cigarette. “Fuck her. Get it out of your system.”
I jerk
up so fast, he doesn’t even see it when I punch him in the face. People’s punches turn wobbly and weak when drunk. Mine turns stronger.
Cole staggers back, placing a hand on his mouth.
“Say the word fuck and her name in the same sentence again and I’ll bloody kill you,” I snarl in his face.
“He technically didn’t say her name.” Aiden speaks from behind us and I can feel his smirk without having to look at him.
“I’m just playing the devil’s advocate and saying what you’re thinking about.” A small, almost innocent smile curves Cole’s lips. “It’s not my fault your mind is already there. I only translate your thoughts, Knight. I don’t form them for you.”
“You can always self-destruct and let Astor do it.” Aiden whistles. “I’m sure he’ll take good care of her. He knows how to make love and all that shit.”
I groan deep in my throat and shove Cole away, plucking a bottle of vodka from the drawer and unclasping it with jerky hands. Neither Cole nor Aiden stop me. One, they don’t really care. Two, they like chaos, so they take every chance they get to watch it unfold. If my current case isn’t the definition of chaos, I don’t know what is.
I barely feel the burn of the first swallow before I follow with the second one.
“Does that mean Astor can do it?” Cole asks.
“It has to be done, after all,” Aiden adds.
“What the fuck are you suggesting, then?” I wipe the drops of alcohol on the side of my mouth. “That I do it?”
“It’s an option.” Cole blows smoke in my face.
I glare at Aiden. “If it was Elsa, would you have done it?”
“It isn’t Elsa and I don’t consider hypothetical situations.”
“I would have,” Cole says. “No thoughts.”
“You’re the fucking devil. You don’t count.”
Cole lifts a shoulder. “Then I’ll just go to hell, if there is one.”
Aiden stands and stops in front of me. “Considering your human rights situation, I’ll answer your question. Yes, I would have done it. There’s the world and there’s Elsa, and she always comes first. Now, you just have to decide if you’re ready to burn.”
I fall on the bed, cradling the bottle to my chest.
“Is that a no?” Aiden asks.
“At least we tried.” Cole flops on the chair beside me. “This will be a long fucking night.”