by Rina Kent
A hunger so furious, it chips at our souls.
A hunger so strong, nothing but the other one can satiate.
“Does that mean you’re not my sister?” I ask the question she’s wanted to hear since she ran all the way here.
“Not at all. Not even close.”
“Thank fuck.” I tilt her head up and capture her lips with mine.
29
Kimberly
Xander devours me.
I don’t even have to open my mouth or participate or do anything.
Both his hands are on my face as he sucks my soul into his, or that’s what I think happens with the way he nibbles on my lip, how he dances with my tongue, how he robs me of air.
He pushes me against the wall and I moan in pure bliss as my back hits the solid surface. My legs wrap around him as he lifts me up and my arms wind around his neck.
God. He’s so strong and agile, his waist taut and narrow and perfect for my legs.
Or is it?
Should we be doing this now?
He lifts my skirt up and I tighten my legs around him, wrenching my lips away. “Wait.”
A groan spills from him. “I’ve waited long enough, Green.”
My breath hitches at the sound of my nickname out of his mouth. That’s the only name I want him to call me until the end of times.
“Maybe we should talk first?” I don’t know why it comes out as a question or why I’m so breathy as I say it.
“I can talk during.” He yanks my skirt up my thighs and it bunches around my waist. “What do you want to talk about? You? Me? How about me fucking you?”
I bite my lower lip as if that will make the reddening cheeks go away. “How about the fact we were siblings not five minutes ago?”
As soon as the words are out, I regret them. It’s like I’m putting a damper on the entire mood. While I never considered him my brother, he did – for seven years.
All these years, he thought we were blood-related, and it must’ve destroyed him from the inside. It bruised his heart and ate away at his knight armour like acid.
“That didn’t stop me from wanting you, it just stopped me from acting on it.” He leans over and traps my lower lip into his mouth. “Partially, at least.”
He fiddles with something between us and my core tightens every time there’s the hint of friction.
While his words should have some sort of a negative effect on me, they don’t. If anything, I’m wetter, hotter.
Xander is the fire and I’m the gasoline waiting to burn.
He’s the ocean in his eyes and all I want to do is drown. Maybe never return.
It’ll be worth it.
“Do you hate me for wanting you?” He wraps a strong arm around my back and aligns his hard cock with my entrance.
This is happening.
Oh, God. This is actually happening.
Don’t faint. Don’t you dare faint and ruin the whole thing.
I force my gaze on him, using him as an anchor, and say the truest words I’ve ever said. “No.”
“How about if I don’t use protection because I want to feel you strangling my dick?”
Why does he have to word it like that and why are my thighs coated with arousal.
“No. I-I’m on the shot.” I’ve been on it for years, secretly hoping he’d one day take me, own me, make me his.
Little did I know, he’d never do that. Until now.
“Fuck, Green.” He breathes harshly against my face. “I waited so long for this, I don’t even know how to start and finish with you.”
“Then don’t finish,” I murmur.
“You bet I won’t. I’ll fuck all this wasted time out of you.”
I lean over to his ear and whisper, “I’ve waited so long for you, too.”
That’s all I get to say as he slides inside me in one go. It begins slow, but as soon as he’s sheathed all in, we both let out a long exhale.
I wait for that sting people say happens the first time, but it’s barely there. Or maybe I’m too lost in the moment and drunk on Xander to feel it.
There have been times where I’ve lain in bed and imagined how it would be, my first time, I mean. Whether it was fast, slow, passionate, or emotional, it didn’t make a difference. Because in all those times, Xander’s face was the only one that appeared.
No fantasy could’ve prepared me to the way he’s taking it easy and being gentle. To the way his entire body is getting accustomed to mine. To the way he’s holding my back with strength but also care.
But I don’t need care right now.
I need him to take me, to make me feel how much he wants me and to prove that he has indeed thought about me before.
“Harder, Xan,” I breathe out.
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I want you to hurt me.”
He chuckles, the sound like music to my ears. “My bossy Green is back, isn’t she?”
“Yes. Now do it.”
“I’m big and you’re too fucking tight,” he rasps. “It might hurt for days.”
“I want it to hurt for days.”
“Fuck me.” His blue eyes twinkle with mischievousness. “Why do you want it to hurt for days? So you can remember us?”
I nod.
His smirk coupled with those dimples might’ve secretly slaughtered me. “You won’t have to, because I won’t stop for days.”
A flash of emotions covers his face as he kisses me while picking up his pace. He’s right, I’m too tight, and because of that, each thrust hurts. But it’s the pleasurable type of pain, the type that pulls me in deeper with every second.
My breathing picks up and my nails dig into his golden hair as his hips jerk with the force of his thrusts. My back pounds against the wall and a wave forms at the bottom of my stomach, strong and unyielding.
“Xan… Oh, God…”
“Oh, fuck, fuck!” he grunts against my lips. “Are you close?”
“I think so.”
He reaches a hand between us and flicks my clit, adding a maddening pressure to my pussy. “I can’t hold it in anymore.”
“Neither can I.”
The heels of my shoes dig into his arse as he rams into me with harshness so violent, it makes me delirious for a second, unable to remember where the hell I am or what I’m doing.
His hips jerk over and over, like he can’t control the force thrumming in him.
“I’ve wanted you for so long, Green. For so fucking long.”
“So have I,” I admit through a moan.
“I wanted you even when I shouldn’t have.”
“I don’t care.”
“I wanted you to be mine so much it hurt.”
“You did?”
“I wanted to kidnap you to somewhere no one knows us and fuck you until we could no longer move,” he confesses against my mouth. “I wanted to take you from the world and keep you for myself.”
So why didn’t you?
I don’t say those words aloud since a harsh wave snaps inside me. It’s sudden and wild and before I know it, I’m drowning in it.
His scent is the only thing I breathe, a little bit like an ocean, a lot like mint, and so much like belonging.
Xander has always been the one I can belong with, the only one I’ve never felt as if I should pretend in front of.
He’s been my knight, my anchor. My one and only.
I’m slowly coming down from my wave when I feel something warm dripping down my thighs.
He stares at me with an apologetic expression, even though lust still lingers in there. “I’m surprised I lasted this long with how much I’ve been fantasising about you.”
I bite my lower lip, then release it at the corner. “You’ve been fantasising about me?”
“All the damn time. It drove me fucking insane.”
My fingers get lost in his hair as I peek at him through my lashes. “Even when you were with others?”
“What others?” He brushes his lips against mine. “You
’re my first, Green.”
30
Kimberly
“You’re a virgin?” My eyes widen as I ask for the hundredth time. “Really?”
“Lay off, would you?”
“No, I need details – all of them.”
“Details? Really, Green? Besides, you’re kind of distracting.”
I glimpse down at myself and realise that after he carried me to bed, he stripped me as I continued to ask him about the bomb he dropped earlier.
I’m currently kneeling between his legs as he throws his shirt behind his back and kicks his trousers and boxer briefs away. We’re both stark naked like when we used to take baths together as toddlers.
It’s different now, though, and it has something to do with his semi-hard cock that I can’t stop staring at.
The only reason I break eye contact is because of the dark look in his eyes. So many promises lurk in there, taunting, luring. My skull tingles in anticipation and my thighs unwillingly clench.
It’s strange how I’ve stopped thinking about my body in front of him, or rather, how he sees me. It’s because of the way he looks at me, I swear; it’s so full of heat and want, there’s no room for those nasty doubts.
A part of me wants to dive into his arms and never resurface, but my curiosity needs answers first.
Wrapping the sheet around me, I lean over so my entire front is glued to his. The thin cloth is the only barrier between us. “Better?”
The groan that leaves his throat is so manly and raw. “You’re killing me, Green.”
“I’ll stop if you tell me.”
“Maybe after round two.”
“No.” My fingers splay on his chest and I run the tips of them over his nipple. It’s hard like the rest of him.
“For starters, stop doing that or I’m coming all over your sorry excuse of a sheet.”
I still my hand but don’t remove it. “So it is like the articles say, male nipples are also sensitive.”
“What type of articles have you been reading?” His tone is amused.
“You know, stuff.”
“What type of stuff?”
I blush. “Sex stuff.”
“Sex stuff, huh?”
“That’s how I keep myself knowledgeable. Happy now?”
He chuckles, and I can’t stay mad or pouting when he does that. It’s like a happy song. My own happy song that only I know its lyrics.
“I’m actually not surprised.”
“You’re not?” I ask suspiciously.
“You were always a curious little kitten.” He taps my nose. “Why would you be different about sex?”
“You remember that?”
“I told you. I remember everything about you.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Try me.”
I narrow my eyes. “When did I have my first tooth removed?”
“First grade.”
“When did I decide pistachio is my favourite flavour?”
“During pre-school’s summer.”
“What’s my favourite animal?”
“Tigers, but you settle for cats because you can pet them and raise them.”
“Then why don’t I have one?”
“Because you were traumatised after Luna’s death. You still miss her and don’t want to have your heart broken again.”
My chin trembles, but I continue asking. “What’s my second favourite colour?”
“You don’t have one, because all other colours aside from green suck.”
God. He does remember. “When did I have my first kiss?”
“Sloppy smooches or real ones?”
“All.”
“It was with me when we were ten and I kissed you on the mouth, not the cheek.” He pauses, jaw tightening. “As for the real ones, I don’t know.”
“Ronan’s party, with a certain drunk arsehole who kissed the daylights out of me, then told me I was disgusting.”
“You know I didn’t mean it. It was my defence mechanism, remember?”
“It still hurt.”
“Green...”
I lift a shoulder. “I won’t lie to you, Xan. I won’t say it’s all fine now. Bottling emotions is what led me to where I am today, so I’m trying not to let the pain settle on the inside.”
“I’m cool with that.” He clutches my hand that’s resting on his chest. “I’ll cooperate. Hit me with your pain.”
“I just did. I’m not as cruel as you.”
“Ouch. I deserve that.”
“Let’s agree you deserve more, but I’ll never hurt you, Xan.”
“You did.” He sighs, the sound loud and deep. “You just didn’t know it. The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life was to pretend I hated you when I never did.”
“Never?”
“Not at all. Not even close,” he repeats my words from earlier, but his tone is dead serious. “I’ll do my best to make it up to you in any way I can.”
“How about you tell me why you were a virgin.”
He releases another breath, this one resigned. “You never give up, do you?”
“Nope.” When he doesn’t budge, I poke him. “The other time, Ronan was bragging about how he was the first to lose his virginity and Aiden was last. I thought you were somewhere in between.” And I might’ve felt sick to my stomach at the time.
“You think I would tell Ronan I was a virgin? He’d shun me then drug me and bring me a hooker.”
Yup. That’s so Ronan. “If you had those risks, why didn’t you just go with the flow?”
“I told you, I’ve always wanted you.”
“But you could’ve still had sex.” Even as I say the words, I can’t help the bitter taste exploding at the back of my throat.
All the times I’ve seen him with other girls trickle in. Those pulses of pain and the tightening of my chest nearly return as well.
I hated it when he was with others.
And I hated myself for it, too.
He lifts a shoulder. “I never wanted anyone but you.”
My lips part. “Then why did you parade Veronica and Summer and everyone else around? You went to rooms with them.”
“But I did nothing with them except having them watch porn with me. If they were two girls, I watched them go down on each other. They didn’t say a word about it, because they cared more about the fantasy and being with me. They cared about the image, not me.”
“So you did it for the image, too?”
“No. I did it to push you so you’d never want me like I fucking wanted you.” A faint smile breaks on his lips. “I was that sick.”
“No, not sick, flawed.”
“Flawed, huh?”
“Yeah, so flawed it’s a bit sick.”
“Just a bit?”
“Yeah, just a bit. Because the truth is, I’m the sick one.”
He raises an eyebrow. “Go on. You can’t leave me in suspense here.”
I hide my face in his rock-hard chest and speak against it, “I always dreamt about you coming from my window to take my virginity.”
No answer.
Did I ruin it? Damn it, I need to learn how to stop oversharing. We’re just getting back together. He doesn’t need a one-way ticket into my brain.
I peek up at him and pause at the expression on his face. He’s watching me with eyes so intense, it’s like he’s about to devour me whole and leave nothing in his wake.
“I’ll do that next time,” he says in a hoarse voice.
“No, that’s not –”
“I love your mind, Green. It’s so similar to mine.”
I bite the corner of my lip. “Really?”
“Oh, absolutely.” He runs his fingers through my hair. “Does that mean you fantasised about being mine?”
“Maybe.”
“Maybe isn’t good enough. Try harder.”
I reach up and run my fingertips over his lips. “Maybe I wanted to come here, too. Maybe I watched you relaxing half-naked by the pool.”
>
“Someone is a stalker.”
“Shut up. You’re also a stalker. Both Ronan and Cole told me you watch me.”
“Snitching bastards.”
“Just admit it.”
“I have a better idea.”
My brow furrows. “What?”
“Did you know that the whole time you’ve been lying like this, you’ve been torturing me, Green?”
My cheeks redden, but I don’t attempt to move, not that I can.
“Or are you doing it on purpose?”
“I’m not.”
“Remove that sheet.”
“W-why?”
“Remember what I told you the other time? When I order, you…” he trails off, waiting for me.
My breathing catches and I take a few seconds to regulate it before I slowly peel the sheet off me. It glides against my hard nipples, creating tormenting friction.
“Now, place both your hands on my shoulders and lift yourself.”
The way he orders me gets me into a high alert mode. It’s a want so deep, I can barely contain it inside my body.
I want to scream it from the top of the roofs and shout it at the stars.
Even though my body trembles, I do as told, clutching his shoulder and staying suspended atop of him.
He strokes his cock and when I’m momentarily transfixed by the movement, I ignore my shaking limbs.
“Now, come down.”
“Xan…”
“Do. It.” His non-negotiable tone springs me to action and I slowly, too slowly lower myself onto his hard dick.
We groan together as his cock stretches me. My thighs shake the more I take him in.
“You feel so fucking good.”
I stop, breathing harshly and trying to fit him in.
“Go all the way, Green.”
“But you’re so big.”
“You said you liked being hurt.”
I nibble on my lower lip. “I do.”
“But you like it better when I do it?”
My eyes widen. How can he read me so fast?
I don’t have to say anything, though. He grabs me by the hips and brings me down in one merciless go. His balls slap against my arse with the force of it. I cry out, then squeal when he flips me so I’m lying underneath him.
Unlike earlier, I don’t have to tell him to go harder. He thrusts into me with the urgency of a desperate man.