She thinks that she’s won something. She hasn’t. I have never realized more than in this moment, how much I don’t love Jaguar. In fact, I don’t even really like him. I’m settling on him, for security. But what kind of life is that going to give me? Give my baby?
I feel so dependent on him, on this club, because the fact of the matter is that I am. Even with my freedom, I have nothing.
I’m an ex-socialite with no education, one who only has the talents to sleep my way into a sense of security. I could leave, go back to Dallas, find someone in my parents’ social circle and be his whore, lulled into a sense of security, until the next younger, prettier version of myself comes along.
“Della,” Dragon’s deep voice calls out.
Shifting my eyes from Jaguar’s back, I look over to Dragon who is standing at the mouth of the hallway. He jerks his chin toward the front door of the club.
“Go on outside, cops are here to talk to you,” he informs me. “About your parents,” he gently explains.
My spine straightens at his words. Without thinking, my body rises from the sofa and my feet begin to move. I know that Dragon doesn’t want them coming inside and I don’t blame him. I’m sure that they could find a dozen reasons to start arresting guys just in this common bar area alone.
The room is silent as the men watch me walk toward the door. Making my way outside, I inhale a deep breath. The sheriff’s car is the first thing that I see, then two officers wearing tan uniforms with matching tan cowboy hats.
“Della Louise Smith?” one of them asks. He’s taller, clean shaven with deep rich brown eyes. I gravitate toward him and his seeming compassion.
“That’s me,” I murmur.
He clears his throat then informs me with deep regret, that my parents have been found and have passed away. I don’t have to read between the lines, plus I already know that they were going to be murdered. Dragon was supposed to tell me, but I guess it slipped his mind. The wheels inside of my head spin as the guilt that I hadn’t felt at the idea of them being gone, suddenly appears.
My stomach clenches and I double over, almost falling to my knees when he reaches forward and wraps his arms around me. I cling to him, embarrassingly so, as I begin to sob. The guilt consumes me, it’s overwhelming as it fills me up from the inside, pouring out of me by the way of tears.
There’s a low murmur behind me and the sheriff shifts me into warm waiting arms. They wrap around me, fingers shifting through my hair as I cry into a tight dark t-shirt, feeling the warm leather of the side of his cut against my cheek. Inhaling a deep breath, I attempt to let it out on a slow, cleansing exhale.
“We’ll need to keep in contact with her, is there a number we can call?”
More murmurs, a number that I don’t recognize is exchanged and then moments later I hear the crunching of gravel behind me as the car backs away and drives off, away from me, out of the compound area.
“You’ll be okay, mi corazon,” Eagle’s voice soothes.
Hiccoughing, I lift my head to look up into his eyes. I don’t know where Jaguar is, but I find that I don’t care. Eagle is here, his warm body, his strong arms, they cage me in—they make me feel safe. His hand rubs soothing circles against my back.
“I knew they were going to die,” I whisper through my trembling lips.
He nods once. “Hearing it confirmed, it’s different, it’s final,” he states.
Pressing my lips together, I inhale through my nose in an attempt to calm myself. “It’s final,” I say, agreeing with him.
“What the fuck?” Jaguar’s shout sounds behind Eagle.
I expect Eagle to take a step back from me, maybe even push me away a little, but he doesn’t. Instead, he turns us around, tucking me against his side. I freeze, Jaguar’s gaze angry, no, livid, as he watches us.
“What in the fuck?” he hisses.
“You were inside getting a cocktail while your woman,” Eagle spits. “Is out here dealing with the sheriff’s news her parents are gone.”
Jaguar snorts, his eyes looking cold, dead and still beyond angry. “She already knew they were dead. Fuck, she was practically excited when she found out that it was going to happen. Why the fuck would I need to be out here?” He shrugs.
“Pendejo,” Eagle hisses. “You don’t deserve her, fuck, you don’t deserve any woman.”
Jaguar smirks. “Yet, I have two,” he announces.
I feel the punch to my gut before my body jerks from his words. Eagle notices it. He adjusts me behind him, as if to keep me safe from the pain of the words he continues to hurl at me. The crowd of onlookers, while this fight continues, begins to grow.
Jaguar just claimed that whore, that bitch, with his men standing around him. The crowd of his brothers watch, but thankfully none say anything. I don’t think I could handle it if they did. Already, I can feel the pity in their gazes as they look at us, at me.
Sinking down to my ass, my knees completely give out. I can’t hear Eagle and Jaguar as they argue. Mountain marches up to me and scoops me up into his lumberjack arms. He doesn’t take me away though, instead he stays put, right behind Eagle.
“You go too far, hermano,” Eagle states. “Della doesn’t deserve this.”
“Della is a whore, same as Charm. I wanted her. I’m claiming her. It doesn’t matter what anyone else has to say about it, that’s the way it is. Nobody has a right to tell me a goddamn thing about it either.”
“Enough,” Dragon shouts.
Mountain even jumps at his shout, and I wrap my arms around his neck to keep from flying out of his grasp. “Della, my office. Eagle and Jag, you’re next,” he snaps.
Mountain doesn’t hesitate, his feet begin to move and without another word spoken, he breezes past both angry men who are currently in a staredown. Pinching my eyes closed, I refuse to look at anyone else, not wanting to see their judgment hazed eyes focused on me and this situation.
Jaguar is right, I’m just some whore, a pregnant whore. I don’t deserve this kind of attention, and I should be grateful that he wants to brand me. Mountain sets me down on the chair across from Dragon’s desk and without a word, walks out of the office closing the door behind him.
“When did you lose all your self-esteem?” Dragon asks as soon as the door closes.
Lifting my gaze to his, I flinch. “I—”
He holds up his hand, shutting me up before I even start, I’m glad, because I had no clue what I was going to say.
“Don’t give me any bullshit. I’ve watched this train wreck between you and Jaguar long enough. You’re better than this, Della. Pregnant or not. Whore or not. You deserve more than the shit he’s shoveling you. I don’t pretend to know what happens behind closed doors, but it’s obvious he’s not in this with you for anything other than a way to get you to come to heel. He couldn’t when you weren’t knocked up and now he thinks he can. Get a fucking backbone,” he practically shouts.
“Weak. My father was always weak, so am I. It’s easier, Dragon.”
He snorts. “Bitch, I know about easy. Had that easy baby mama in my bed for years, for too fucking long, and I regret every wasted moment of it. Only good thing to come from her is Kora. Don’t ruin your life for easy, Della.” He lets out a sigh, running his fingers through his hair. “Fuck me, this is why I don’t have women livin’ here unless they spread, when their mouths only open for dick, and not to talk.”
“Bella’s made you soft.” I smirk.
His eyes meet mine and he narrows them before his lips twitch. “That’s the last thing Bellarosa makes me.”
Unable to stop myself, I let out a small giggle. He’s right. Bella is hot, I get it. And he’s never looked happier than he has since she made her way here in the back of a van as a runaway. Lifting my own hand, I run my fingers through my knotted hair, letting out a sigh.
“My self-esteem has taken a hit. I feel vulnerable, dependent and going to my parents was a huge fucking mistake, I’d forgotten what it was like there,”
I whisper.
Dragon clears his throat, he stands and I watch as he makes his way around his desk, stopping just in front of me. He leans back, his fingers gripping the edge of the scarred wood.
“Without the baby, put that out of your head for just a minute. What do you want, Della? Just you, what do you want?”
Slowly, I lift my gaze to him, my eyes watering. “I don’t want Jaguar. I never did. He doesn’t want me either. What he wanted was to finally have control over me. It may have started out as an attraction, but that’s not what it is anymore. He doesn’t know anything about me and he doesn’t care to either.”
“What do you want me to do about that, Della? I can get you a place in town, a small one for just you and the baby.”
“She can have my place. I don’t stay there, it’s empty.”
Dragon and I both turn our heads to see Eagle standing in the doorway. Dragon growls, probably angry that Eagle didn’t follow his rules, but I’m not. His eyes find mine and they stay focused. My breath hitches at the sight of his gaze focused on me.
“It doesn’t come with any strings, nena. It comes with a roof over your head, a bed, and food in your belly. It comes with my car that just fuckin’ rots in the garage. But, no strings.”
“Why?” I breathe.
He shrugs a shoulder, his eyes flicking over to Dragon before coming back to me. “Nobody should feel like they have to be with someone to have security. No strings, nena, not unless you want them.”
Eagle doesn’t wait for my response. I watch as he turns and closes the door behind him. Shifting my gaze back to Dragon, I blink. His lips twitch and he shakes his head a couple of times.
“What?” I ask.
He chuckles. “You’ll see. But for now, you’re taking him up on it? Jaguar will fight, but I’ll reel his ass back in, plus he’ll be gone for a couple of weeks, it’ll help him cool off from the blow to his ego.”
“It’ll be easier…” I start.
“Fuck easy, Della. I didn’t take you for some weak assed cunt when you showed up here and I don’t believe that’s what you are now. You’re scared, this is new, but babe, you fuckin’ got this. You don’t need shit. You got what it takes to make it in this world.”
Inhaling a deep breath, I look him directly in the eye and lift my chin. I do have what it takes, except a job, that is where I’m lacking and that’s pretty important. I don’t say anything about that though. Dragon knows my doubts before I even have a chance to voice them.
“You want a job?” he asks.
Biting the corner of my lip, I shrug a shoulder. “You know I don’t have anything,” I whisper.
He grunts, nodding his head. “We’ll find you somethin’. If that’s the only thing holding you back, babe, let me take care of that. A fair day’s work for a fair day’s wage, no spreading your legs either.”
“No?” I ask, arching a brow.
He chuckles. “I think you deserve a break, at least while you’re pregnant. Besides, your debt has been paid as far as I’m concerned. It’s time for you to take care of you and that baby.” He dips his chin, motioning to my belly and my hand instinctively touches my stomach.
“But what if I can’t… I’ve never gone very long…”
He smirks. “Della, what you do on your own time is your business. I’m giving you privacy and freedom. Eagle is giving you an option for that as well. Find yourself, what you want, and how you want it. Come back here in a couple days when you’re settled and we’ll talk job options.”
“Thank you, Dragon,” I offer as I stand to my feet.
He grunts. “Jag is going to lose his shit, you know that?”
Closing my eyes, I try to keep from feeling pain deep in my chest at the thought of hurting Jaguar. Regardless of my situation with him, the way he’s treated me or anything else, I don’t hate him. I feel like he wants me to be something that I’m not and I want him to be something that he isn’t.
We don’t mesh.
It doesn’t lessen my feelings of friendship for him or at least the friendship we once had. But that is all that I feel when it comes to him.
If I stayed, if I gave up and gave in, to make everything seem easier, then we would only end up hating one another. Honestly, I don’t think that it would take long for that to happen either, the anger swirling inside of him when he looks at me grows daily already.
Chapter Eleven
DRAGON
Fuck.
This is why I don’t have women fucking living here.
Drama.
But when it comes to Della, I want this done and dealt with. She doesn’t deserve the mistreatment that Jaguar has been hurling at her. I see it, everyone fucking sees it. Hell, I know that if he weren’t mixed up in the middle of it all, he wouldn’t like the way that Della was being treated either.
“Where the fuck is Eagle?” Jaguar demands as he sinks down in the chair that Della has just vacated.
“Taking Della somewhere,” I state.
Jaguar growls, slamming his palms on the arms of the chair and pushes up. I stand up faster than him, my eyes narrowed as I hold his gaze.
“Sit,” I bark.
He does, reluctantly. I know that he wants to tell me to fuck myself and run after the girl. He wants to save his pride. He’s been fighting her for months, wanting to keep her. He finally has his chance, but he doesn’t really want her for her. He wants her because he couldn’t have her and now it’s all principle because he can force her hand, and he’s determined to keep her.
“You don’t love her,” I state.
“Don’t love anyone, what’s your fuckin’ point?”
Lifting my hand, I scrub my palm down my face and tug on the ends of my beard. “My point is, controlling her to show your power, that shit isn’t gonna fly in my clubhouse unless that’s what she wants and, brother, she don’t want it.”
“Yeah? She tell you that?”
“She doesn’t have to, man. Got eyes, everyone here does, and nobody likes what they see when it comes to you and Della. So, as your president, I’m pulling fucking rank when it comes to this situation. Della is being taken out of the clubhouse. She’s off limits to you. Go down to Tijuana, get your dick wet, forget about her. Come home with a cool head and if you want to have a conversation about the future, then we’ll go from there.”
“Fuck you, Pres.”
I watch as he stands and storms out of my office. I don’t really give a fuck. I made my decision and I stand by it. Della and Jaguar both deserve more from life. He’ll realize that when he finally falls for the woman he’s meant to have. Della just isn’t the one, any fool with fucking eyes can see that shit from a mile away.
“You pissed him off real fuckin’ good. Thanks, by the way, this run is going to be a goddamn treat,” Mountain barks, marching into my office.
“You rather they go on the way they were?”
Mountain shakes his head. “I’ll claim her, if you need me to, if it makes this shit easier. Like Della a fuck’ve a lot. Can’t deny I kinda like the idea of someone like her poppin’ out my kid,” he murmurs.
I laugh, shaking my head. “Nobody is doing a damn thing because it’s easy, not anymore. We do what we need to do. Easy, hard, whateverthefuck. Della is staying at Eagle’s place. He wants her there, he’s going to make sure she is taken care of while you guys are away.
“I’m going to try and come up with some kind of work for her. This club has been too fucking focused on the inner workings and not so much on the outside, which is when bad shit goes down. We have to be on our game at all times.”
“Agreed,” Mountain grunts.
“Tell Trista hello, and make sure she knows we want her back home.”
“Will do.”
Without another word, he leaves my office and I let out a sigh at the same time my cell phone rings.
“Yeah?” I ask without even looking at the name on the screen.
“Drago,” the sweetest voice in the world calls out.
>
“Fragolina.”
I pause for a moment, waiting for her to speak. “Are you finished there? Can you come home?”
“Is everything okay?” I ask, my heart beginning to race inside of my chest.
Fear fills my entire body immediately, sweat starts to drip down my spine at the thought of something happening to her, to our unborn child. She hums, and instantly my entire body relaxes. I know that hum.
“I’ll be right there,” I purr.
She ends the call without another word. My woman needs me. Hormones have her completely out of whack, but I’ll fucking take that shit since this phone call meant that she wants my dick. She’ll always have it, any time that she needs it. It’s hers as much as I am, as much as she’s mine.
Unlike Jaguar, I believe in love. It just took finding Bellarosa for me to fully understand it. Call me a pussy, call me a fucking woman. I don’t care.
I love the bitch.
My bitch.
DELLA
“Do whatever you want, I haven’t really stayed here much the past few years.”
Looking around, I don’t tell him that I can tell nobody has been here. The furniture is dusty, as are the carpeted floors, even the air surrounding me smells like dirt and dust. But it’s a quiet home, it’s somewhere that I can be alone with my thoughts. Though, I’m not sure if I need to be alone, at least these days.
“It’s nice.” I nod, looking around.
The two-bedroom, one-bathroom home isn’t anything like I’m used to, but then again, neither was the clubhouse and I acclimated quickly to that environment. The house is really dated. The carpets are green shag, the countertops mustard yellow laminate. The fridge is avocado and the oven is almond. This place hasn’t been updated in the past three decades, but there is an underlying comfort that surrounds me just standing in the small living space.
“It was my mother’s home,” Eagle murmurs. “Sometimes I still feel her here, which is why I don’t stay here often.”
UNLEASH ME: SAVAGE BEAST MC 4 Page 10