Turning around to face him, I tilt my head to the side. “Why wouldn’t you want to be surrounded by her?”
“Mi madre, she hated the club life. Hated how she thought it was making me cold, evil, full of the Devil’s fire. She was religious, something that I’m not particularly, never have been. She was right in some ways, I am cold, evil and full of the Devil’s fire, but it wasn’t the club that put all that inside of me.”
“What was it?” I chance asking.
He smirks, taking a step toward me. My breath hitches when I feel his finger touch the center of my chest. I expect it to drag down the collar of my shirt, through the cleavage that’s pressing together, but instead, he slides his finger up the side of my throat.
His finger glides up my jaw, then drops from my face almost instantly. My entire body is covered in gooseflesh from his touch. I’m full of need. I want nothing more than to tackle him right here and now.
He smirks as if he knows every thought that is running through my head. “My father, nena. My father was filled with the Devil too. Mi madre just never truly saw it, because he hid it from her until the day that he died. He controlled her, to the point where he only allowed her to see what he wanted and nothing more.”
“Why?” I breathe.
Eagle dips his chin, his mouth so close to mine that my lips automatically part in anticipation of his mouth on mine.
“Maybe he loved her? Though I doubt it. I have a feeling that he just never wanted her to know the man that he was.”
“What kind of man was he?”
Eagle takes a step closer to me, one of his hands gently wrapping around my waist. His other hand wraps around the side of my neck. I’m sure that he can feel how wildly my pulse races beneath his touch. I’ve never wanted a man more than I want him right now. This isn’t like my normal need, this actually isn’t need at all, this is pure want, lust, and desire. I’ve never felt anything like it before.
“He was evil, nena. Pure fucking evil. A hitman, a murderer. She never knew and he never divulged.”
“Is that what you are?” I ask.
He smirks. “I’m worse. I’ll give you every detail if you want it. I’ll fuck you with another man’s blood on my hands, no fucks given, Della. I’ll make you as dirty as I am. No. Fucks. Given.”
“But you won’t share me?” I breathe.
He grunts, his mouth brushing over mine in just a whisper of a taste. His fingers around my waist squeeze me. “Never. I’ll give you what you need, whatever that is.”
“What if I need more than what you can give me?”
He smiles against my mouth. “I know you’re addicted to the high of reaching your climax, of being fucked. You aren’t hard to read, Della. I want the woman inside of you, the one who needs to come, I want her to be unleashed, but she needs a safe place to land and honest to fuck, I want to be that for you.”
“How?”
He shakes his head, his lips brushing mine again. “Got eyes, mi corazon. Anyone who is looking can see it, all of it. You want something deeper than an orgasm, you let me know. Until then, my car is yours, this place is yours. I’ll leave you some cash and I’ll be back tomorrow to take you to your appointment.”
“You’re leaving me here?” I cry, reaching out and wrapping my fingers in his shirt.
He laughs softly, releasing me as he reaches up and disengages my hands from his shirt. “You need some time, Della. The phone works. I left my number next to it. Call me if you need me, otherwise, yeah, you’re on your own. Satellite television is paid to date.”
Without another word, he turns from me and walks away. I watch as he steps through the front door, shutting it behind him. Then I listen to his bike engine roar to life and then take off down the street.
Alone.
I’ve wanted nothing more than to be left alone for days. And now that it’s finally happened, I don’t know how it makes me feel. Odd, sad, really fucking lonely.
I walk around the house, making sure all of the front and side doors are locked, then I open the back sliding glass door and step outside.
It’s warm, the sun is beginning to set in the distance. Sinking down on the wrought-iron chair, I stare at the dirt and rock back yard. It needs grass in the near future, if I’m going to stay here. A baby needs a grassy lawn to roll around on.
JAGUAR
I watch her for about an hour.
It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out where she was taken. I knew that Eagle had this place because the clubhouse pays all property taxes of club members’ personal property. It was his mother’s before she passed away about five years ago. Now, it’s his and I write the fucking check to the county twice a year to pay the taxes on the bitch.
Della is beautiful. The sun shines on her blonde hair and I wonder why I can’t give her what she clearly deserves. I’m angry with her, with the fact that she doesn’t love me the way that I want her to. Doesn’t obsess over me the way that I do her. Doesn’t matter that I don’t love her, I want her to need me, goddammit.
My phone buzzes in my pocket and I yank it out. Looking down at the caller ID, I cringe. It’s Charm. I should have never given the bitch my number, but goddamn trying to get a reaction out of Della is like pulling fucking teeth.
I thought that if she was jealous, she would try harder to fight for me. It completely fucking backfired. Maybe Dragon is right. Maybe this isn’t working between us because it’s not meant to be. Fuck, she doesn’t deserve to be miserable. But then again, neither do I. Seeing her with someone else? I’m not sure that I can handle that shit.
“How long are you going to creep on me?” Della calls out, still looking straight ahead.
Letting out a sigh, I make my way toward her. “How’d you know I was there?” I ask as I close the distance between us. She still doesn’t look in my direction, not until I sit down in the dusty chair next to her.
“I know when I’m being watched,” she says.
Sinking my teeth into my bottom lip, I wonder if she does. I’ve watched her with other men more than once, and she never said a word about it.
“I always know when you’re watching me, Jaguar,” she whispers and slowly turns her head so that her eyes find mine. Pressing my lips together, I grunt, the sound causing her lips to twitch into a small smile. “Why are you here?”
I shrug a shoulder. “Wanted to make sure you were okay,” I lie to her.
She shakes her head, knowing my words for what they are. “The truth, Jaguar.”
“Dragon wants me to stay away from you. I want to know what you want.”
“The truth?” she asks.
“Yeah.”
“Freedom.”
“Got it, baby.”
She shakes her head, her eyes filling with unshed tears. I watch as she blinks them away, then slowly stands to her feet. Holding my breath, I watch as she walks between my legs and slowly sinks down on one of my thighs. She cups my cheeks with her palms and looks into my eyes, her gaze never wavering from mine.
“I don’t. Not with you. It can’t work, Jaguar. I thought that I could just accept what you have to give me, but you’re angry, too angry. You want to punish me for not loving you when you don’t love me either. Dragon’s right, I can’t bring a baby into a relationship like that. I can’t allow myself to be in one like that. There is someone out there for you. I know it.”
Reaching for her waist, I hold on to her, my fingers digging into her flesh as I grip her tightly and keep her held to me.
“Not fuckin’ fair,” I rasp. “All I ever wanted was you. Never wanted nothin’ before.”
“You had me and all you did was hurt me and fuck other women. You didn’t really want me, Jaguar. You wanted the idea of me, the idea of my submission and the fact that you’d won over all the other men who’d had me.
“Then you wanted that control over me, to be able to say who could fuck me and when, and how. What about me? I’m not sure I want to be fucked by a clubhouse of men anymore. I think that
maybe, that part of my life is over.”
“It’s not. Even right now, I stick my hand down your pants and you’d be wet for me,” I growl.
Sucking in a breath, she licks her dry lips and nods. “I probably would be. But, Jag?” I wait a beat for her to continue as she sucks in a deep breath. “I would be filled with regret, just like I always am. I’m ready to be made love to, to come without feeling an overwhelming sense of regret afterward.”
“Even with me? You felt that with me?”
The tears she’d been fighting begin to fall as she nods her head. Shame. Shame like I’ve never felt in my goddamn life fills me at her words. Unfortunately, I’m not man enough to admit that shit. Leaning forward, I touch my mouth to her salty lips.
“Fuck me, fuck me and then tell me you regret your man making you come,” I murmur against her mouth.
“Please, Jag, don’t,” she feebly protests.
I don’t listen to her shit. I know she wants me. Her hard nipples tell the truth. Shoving my hand down her loose-fitting cut-offs, I feel her wet pussy and I know without a doubt that her mouth says something completely fucking different from her body.
Chapter Twelve
DELLA
Bringing my knees up, I wrap my arms around my shins as I curl into a small ball. My eyes track Jaguar as he tugs his jeans up his hips, buttoning and zipping them before he turns around and faces me. His eyes search mine, he frowns but doesn’t say anything right away.
Slowly, he sinks down on his haunches in front of me. I’m leaning against the back of the sofa, my bare ass on the carpet, my eyes filling with wetness.
He lifts a hand, reaching for me, cupping my cheek in a seemingly sweet move. I know him better than that, I can tell by the look on his face that what he’s about to say is anything but sweet.
“Della,” he rasps.
My eyes stay connected to his. I watch him, waiting for him to finish whatever it is he wants to say so that he’ll just go. He proved me a liar. I wanted his touch, needed it, craved it and I hate myself for it. I hate that he knows what I need.
“You’ll never not need what I give you. Don’t kid yourself. I’m leaving, but when I come back, be prepared for my brand on your skin. You’re mine, just proved that shit, twice.” He smirks.
He did.
I came hard, twice.
In the moment it felt wonderful, seconds after coming down from that high, I felt sick to my stomach. The way Jaguar wants me, it isn’t healthy for either of us. It’s an all-owning, all-consuming thing and one day he’ll thank me for betraying him, because that’s exactly what I plan on doing.
Call me a bitch.
Call me a whore.
I’ll accept both names with a smile on my lips.
Why?
Because I would rather be called that, would rather Jaguar think that I’m a lying, unloyal cunt, than be the source of his constant anger. Then be the reason that he will never find happiness.
He won’t find happiness either, not with me. He can’t see past our fighting, past me pushing him away again and again, he won’t ever love me and neither of us deserves that life, this baby especially doesn’t either. He can’t understand why I don’t worship him, why I don’t love him. Why I don’t fall at his feet for any ounce of attention he decides to throw at me. I never have and I never will be that woman.
“It’s not going to work, Jaguar. I don’t want you. I don’t need you and I don’t love you,” I say, my voice soft, but my tone filled with strength.
His fingers move, instead of gently cupping my cheek, he grabs ahold of both of my cheeks, his fingers digging into my flesh, no doubt leaving marks on my face.
“Bitch,” he roars in my face. His nostrils flare with anger and I can do nothing but keep my legs protecting my body and hold my breath as I wait for his next move. He leans forward, his eyes now full of unbridled rage.
“You don’t have a goddamn choice,” he seethes. “You leave and I’ll drag you back by your hair. You try to shut me out and I’ll break down the goddamn door, the wall, whatever the fuck you put in my way.”
“Why?” I ask.
Some of his anger flees, but he’s still mad, still holding my cheeks tightly. “Because you’re mine. I decided it the moment your ass walked into that clubhouse. You fought me, you still fight me, but I will win.”
“Never,” I hiss. “I’m not yours. I’ll fight for myself until the day I die.”
Something ugly crosses his features. “You will submit.”
“Not to you,” I snap.
He releases me, straightening immediately and taking a step back. “You’ll eat those words,” he announces and without another word, I watch his back as he walks out of the sliding glass door, slamming it behind him, disappearing in the back yard from the same direction that he appeared.
I don’t move.
I stay where I am, curled in a ball in the living room. That’s where I am when the front door opens and Presley, along with Esther and Bellarosa, walk into the room.
“Oh,” Presley gasps.
“Shit,” Esther curses.
“Well…” Bellarosa’s soft voice carries. Turning my head, I give them a watery smile. “Dragon told me what happened,” Bella murmurs.
“Silver wanted me to make sure you had plenty of food in the fridge. Says Eagle didn’t necessarily set you up. Eagle was worried but didn’t want to be too pushy. I came bearing food,” she says, attempting to have a light and airy tone to her voice all while holding up her hands which have at least four plastic bags each dangling from her fingers.
“I’m here, because well, I think we have a lot in common and by the looks of it, I’m not wrong,” Esther announces. “I brought some of your clothes too. Wolfe told me that you kind of ran off, Pinkie packed a bag.”
“Thank you,” I say, unsure of what else to say.
These women, I don’t really know them that well. Whores aren’t really encouraged to hang out with Old Ladies and that’s exactly what they are. The divide between clubwhores and Old Ladies is physically invisible, but it is very much there.
“C’mon,” Esther encourages as she holds out her hand for me.
I don’t bother covering my nudity. What’s the point? I have no doubt at one party or another all of these women have seen every square inch of me.
“Let’s go get you cleaned up. Presley will make something deliciously warm and comforting, as she does. Bellarosa, why don’t you give us a hand?” Esther suggests.
Presley smiles, then turns her back to us and walks into the kitchen. Bellarosa and Esther flank my sides and together, the three of us walk into the back of the small house toward the master suite. I don’t even look around, unable to truly take in the space, or anything about my surroundings. My focus is a warm shower and nothing else.
EAGLE
I watch as Jaguar leaves my house. I should go inside, see if he and Della fucked. It wouldn’t matter if they had. She’s going to be mine. My mother lived a lie, the lie that my father sold her. Jaguar is trying to sell Della a lie too, and I don’t think anyone should ever choose to live that way. To be someone’s property.
Even to myself, I sound like a fucking knight in shining armor, like I’m here to save her, but I’m not. I’m attracted to Della, I’d be proud to have her on my arm. I won’t deny that I’ve jacked my dick more than once to the thought of being inside of her, of having her to myself.
What I’m offering her, it isn’t because I feel sorry for her. I’m way more fucking selfish than that. It’s because I want her. I want all of her. I have since Wolfe walked her into the clubhouse as a new whore. If I’d had my way, I would have claimed her right there.
Deciding not to stick around, knowing that I’ll walk in and possibly not like what I see, I leave my post of watching my own home, watching over Della. My bike roars to life and I guide it down the street and toward the clubhouse.
Jaguar is only a few minutes in front of me. Our confrontation is still
fresh, in fact, it was never really resolved. I think Dragon is just hoping that bygones will be bygones by the time he gets back from Tijuana. He’s living in a fucking dreamland.
Shit will only get worse when Jaguar comes back here, because Della is going to be wearing my mark and hopefully have my last name. I am not fucking around when it comes to her, I am all fucking in and I want her, every fucking piece.
“You follow me? Watch me fuck Della?” Jaguar asks without turning around.
“Figured that’s what you were up to.” I shrug a shoulder as if it means nothing to me.
In reality, I want to take my gun out of the back of my waistband and fill his body with bullets. I don’t. Brotherhood and all that shit, but he’s so fucking close to meeting his maker by my hand, it isn’t even fucking funny.
The only things that keeps me from ending him are the fact that he is my brother and that Della is almost one hundred percent mine.
He turns around, his eyes full of nothing short of intent to murder. “I’m comin’ back here and taking her, Eagle. You wanna have some fun with my sloppy seconds, be my guest, but she’s mine. Always will be.”
“Is she?” I ask, arching a brow.
I refuse to respond to the sloppy seconds comment. That shit isn’t worth my time. I’m not some punk ass motherfucker who gives a shit what my woman has done before me, not as long as once my cock is inside of her, she doesn’t take another without my knowledge or mutual agreement.
“Don’t fuck with me, spic. I will fuck up your life if you do.”
Ignoring his racial slur, I continue to act unaffected by his words. “Not fighting with you over stupid shit, one of them being the fact that you used the word spic toward me. The second being that you are attempting to degrade Della by using the term sloppy seconds to describe her. The third being that you think you could fuck up my life. You can’t.”
“Watch me,” he growls. “She’s mine. Mine.”
“You sound like a spoiled ass little bitch. She’s a person and she’ll decide who she wants, which even according to her own words, is not you. Stop playing with her, brother. She’s pregnant, she doesn’t need to be stressed the fuck out like this.”
UNLEASH ME: SAVAGE BEAST MC 4 Page 11