Redeemed Love

by M. S. Brannon

  Things have changed slightly with law enforcement, which is why I’m called to do more jobs than Carter. Matt can’t risk us getting caught, and what Carter likes to do is to take his time, which is something we don’t have with police patrolling more frequently. That is not the only risk that’s becoming too great, though.

  Jake is starting to take notice of me being gone all the time. I try to avoid him as much as possible, but Jake being Jake, always finds his ways. I was hoping Delilah would provide enough of a distraction, and she has, but I don’t give my twin enough credit. I will need to start making arrangements to get myself out, but at what cost? I’m not sure.

  When I started in this life, getting out unharmed was never a consideration. All I could see was money, and I was determined this was the only way I could save my family. However, after what I’ve witnessed on a regular basis, getting out will be the biggest obstacle of all.

  The three of us climb into Ronnie’s vehicle and head over to the dealer’s house. It’s approximately eight in the evening, not a prime hour to kill someone, but it needs to be done as soon as possible. An informant working closely with the dealer told us he’s going to skip town, so we need to intercede to avoid the need to pursue this douche bag.

  As we turn down the street and park, Carter exits the back seat, leaving Ronnie and me in the car.

  “We’ve got a race at nine, remember?” I remind Ronnie, knowing if we miss this race, Jake will know something is up for sure. He’s been asking weird questions lately, and soon, it will be impossible to dodge them.

  “Yeah, this shouldn’t take too much time. We’ll make the race.” Ronnie exits the driver’s door, and I do the same.

  The summer air feels good after the long winter, and because of the changing seasons, we’ve been busy. Crime happens all year round but gets crazier when the weather gets better. I’m not sure if the fresh air makes losers more insane or not, but after my first year in this life, that’s exactly what I noticed—people are willing to take more risks when the weather is nicer.

  Carter is standing at the back of the car. As he always does, he drops a small amount of cut cocaine into his hand and promptly sniffs. He tips his head back then pinches the bridge of his nose for a moment before letting out a deep breath. When he brings his head back down, the feral look takes over and my gut drops. He’s not going to make this easy tonight. I can sense it.

  Before he does a job, Carter can’t help using the cocaine rush to intensify the experience. I can’t stand him at times, and it seems like lately he’s always dipping into his stash when we are working. One of these days, he is going to be a loose cannon and get us in trouble.

  I shake my head in annoyance and follow Ronnie down the street, the three of us lurking in the shadows and sticking close to the houses, trying anything to keep undercover. The sun hasn’t fully gone down, and if it blows our cover, we’re screwed. We need to be careful to get this job done and fast.

  We arrive at the back of the house and quickly do a sweep around the perimeter to ensure the dealer won’t have us ambushed. Ronnie takes the front entrance, pistol drawn from his jeans, while Carter and I move to the back.

  Carter lets out a wicked laugh as he pulls his gun, the sound chilling my bones. Tonight, he is unusually crazy.

  The blood in my veins is starting to morph into a raging ocean as a familiar rush consumes my body. I release a deep breath, and with all of my strength, I kick in the back door. My foot instantly splinters the wood as it flies open. Before I can get completely through the threshold, gun shots ring through the air. The loud pop deafens me momentarily as the dealer defends himself with his piece.

  I fall to the floor, taking cover from the flying bullets when Carter begins to return fire. He is shooting at a rapid pace, hitting the dealer in the shoulder. I pop up off the floor and push Carter to the side, knowing I can easily snap his neck and then we can leave.

  Lately, the cops have been poking around. With guns fired, we have minutes to get the job done and the hell away from here before they come charging in.

  Ronnie comes through the front door just as I make it past the threshold of the back. We meet at the dealer lying incapacitated on the floor.

  “Where’s the money, Derek?” Ronnie demands in his calming voice.

  “Fuck you both!” he spits out as he holds his bleeding shoulder.

  Time is ticking. We need to find the stash or the money and then get rid of him before the cops show up.

  When I walk up to him and punch his jaw, Derek wails out in pain. So I do it again, making my point known.

  “We need the money, Derek. Now make this easy on yourself,” Ronnie says again.

  I start to look around. Opening cupboard doors and drawers, I begin to comb his place, looking for his stash. Carter joins in and we start tearing the house apart when I spot the black backpack he was given tucked in the back of a cabinet. I pull the bag out and find it full of money. As quickly as possible, I count the money and note it’s approximately the same amount we came to collect.

  I nod over to Ronnie and he gathers the backpack while I walk to Derek, still bleeding and whimpering on the floor.

  He starts to beg, “P-p-please, Jeremy. Don’t—don’t do it.”

  I look into Derek’s watery eyes and tap into the anger that has helped me get through moments like this. In my mind, I think about Darcie, Presley, and Cami; all were broken and beaten at the hands of creeps like Derek. My body goes tight and my stomach clenches as I bend down and clasp Derek’s neck between my palms then guide him off the ground. He makes it to his feet and sways slightly, trying to regain his balance. I stare him down, saying nothing, seeing men like Grady, Robert, and Zane looking back at me.

  As I begin to lunge forward, Carter comes from nowhere with his knife drawn, slicing Derek’s neck across his carotid artery. Blood spits from the wound, spraying my shirt and arms as I jump back to get out of its path. Derek falls to the floor, choking on blood and desperately clasping his wound.

  I snap my head to Carter and turn my feral eyes to his. “What the fuck!” I scream.

  “What? It’s done. Now let’s go,” Carter says matter-of-factly, and I lunge at him, tackling him to the ground. We crash to the ground, the sound of dishes and other objects clanking to the floor as I roll onto Carter and start wailing away at him.

  “Guys! I can hear the sirens!” Ronnie screams as he yanks me off Carter.

  I can feel Ronnie pulling on my waist, but I refuse to budge as I land blows to Carter’s sides. When Ronnie pulls harder, I finally roll off him.

  Carter tries to retaliate, but the deafening sounds of sirens pierce our ears. I look down to the ground and see Derek still clinging to life as he cradles his neck in his palm. Acting on instinct, I lean over his weakening body and wrap my hands round his neck. With a quick, jerking motion, I twist his neck to the side and snap it instantly. The sound of his last breath grazes my blood soaked skin.

  Ronnie slings the backpack around him then the three of us race out the back door. As we all go separate directions into the night, I head for the one place I know I will be safe.

  I quietly close the door to my mother’s room and lean against the cold wood. I’m exhausted, and as soon as I know she will be out for the night, I will creep down to my room and mask my thoughts in earthy cloudiness.

  Tonight has been a rough night for both of us. She needed me more than ever, and it is getting worse. I’m not sure what else I can do to help her. We have little to no money and the little money I do make from my waitressing job is just enough to pay the bills—nothing more. I don’t get health insurance, and if it weren’t for my best friend, I probably wouldn’t even have a roof over my head.

  I move down the hall and begin cleaning up the kitchen. As I’m scrubbing the dishes and laying them in the dish drainer, I begin to think about that night four years ago. The night I’ve been battling inside and out. The night my life changed and I became the responsible one, the car
egiver to an ailing, addicted parent.

  It was bitterly cold outside, the wind blowing fiercely as another bout of snow came in with a vengeance. I had just arrived home from the library, working on my college applications, excited to be starting my next journey in life. I wanted to be a teacher. I wanted to get my degree and educate children. This had been my goal for the last several years, and everyone in my family supported me going away to live my dream. I was happy.

  My mother had pulled into the drive at the same moment, coming from Wednesday night mass. We walked through the back door, talking about our day. My mother rounded the corner to go see my younger brother while I stayed in the kitchen, looking for something to eat. That was when my life was forever altered.

  The most horrendous sound stabbed my eardrums. It was my mother screaming, making a noise I had never heard before. When I found her, she was crumpled in a pool of blood, my deceased brother in her arms. She was screaming Ricardo’s name and screaming at God, demanding to know why. The sight was gut-wrenching. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t do anything.

  A rap on the back door snaps me out of my past. Startled, I drop the glass in the soapy water, splashing it all over the counter. I grab a towel and dry my hands off then walk to the door, pulling it open. Standing at the threshold is my best friend, covered in blood.

  “Oh, my God! What happened?” I shout, pulling him into the kitchen and slamming the door behind me. “Are you hurt?” Dried blood is all over his face, shirt, and arms.

  “Fucking Carter, he went crazy again.” Jeremy moves deeper into the kitchen as I grab a can of soda from the fridge, handing it to him. “We were sent to do a job the boss asked me to take care, but Carter got overzealous.” He motions to the blood all over his body and then cracks the can of Mountain Dew open. “I’m gonna need to use your shower. Is that okay?”

  I nod my head, knowing my mother should be out for the night. I gave her a pretty heavy dose of her medication, so she will be out for at least twelve hours. “Yeah, come on.”

  We walk down the hall and into my bedroom and he shuts the door behind him. I open the bottom drawer of my dresser, pulling Jeremy’s extra clothes out. This is not the first time he’s had to come over and shower.

  A few months after he found me bleeding in the alley, Jeremy and I established a secret friendship. I was at my uncle’s house almost every weekend, getting high and drinking. I knew he became part of their crew from the black baseball cap and backpack. We had made eye contact several times after the night he took me to the hospital, but it wasn’t until Zane came around again that Jeremy really started taking notice.

  Zane took a major risk when he attacked me, and his risk almost paid off. I hate the violence my uncle inflicts on anyone. Of course, I understand it’s a part of the cartel life, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. I’ve seen some despicable stuff happen, and it turns my stomach. Consequently, I knew if I told him about Zane, he would have killed him. In all honesty, I didn’t think I’d see him around again, so when Zane walked into my uncle’s house a few months later, I was shocked, to say the least.

  I was extremely high that night and stumbling with every step. I didn’t know Zane was following me home, but as he approached to hurt me again, Jeremy came out from the shadows. He snatched Zane up in his hands and spun him around. He couldn’t even get a word out before Jeremy punched him so hard in the face blood sprayed from his nose and splattered across Jeremy’s shirt. Zane fell hard to the ground like a cement block. Then he stood over him and stared for a moment. The next thing I hear is the cracking sound of bones as I see Jeremy’s hands whip Zane’s neck quickly around. He wouldn’t be coming after me ever again; Jeremy had just seen to that.

  I had immediately sobered up and taken Jeremy to my house, knowing if someone saw us, we could go to jail. Or, if someone from my uncle’s crew saw us, he’d be dead. He wasn’t only taking a life, he was risking his own, all for me. Jeremy stayed there while his clothes were washing and drying. We didn’t say much to each other at first, but then, we didn’t have to. I was grateful he was there to help me, again, and he was glad I wasn’t going to say anything. After I reassured him many times I would keep his secret, our relationship grew, and as time went on, we became best friends.

  Lately, he’s been over at my house more than he’s been at his own. I’ve never asked why. I know about his family. I’ve seen them at the races and know their reputation. Jeremy admitted to me they’d be furious with him if they found out he was dealing. Therefore, not only does our relationship have to remain a secret from my uncle, but with his family as well.

  Every time Jeremy comes over to my house, he is taking a great risk, and it’s all for our friendship. We depend on each other for companionship, and we are comfortable being in each other’s company.

  The danger Jeremy is willing to put himself in simply to be my friend makes me speechless at times. My uncle is a ruthless man, and I know he loves me, but it wouldn’t stop him from shooting Jeremy if he found out. He is the type of person who only sees and hears what he wants. Regardless if Jeremy has saved my life, too much time has passed, and as a result, our friendship has to remain a secret.

  Jeremy walks into my room and strips his clothes from his body. It’s nothing for him to get naked in front of me, and it’s nothing for me to gape at him. My eyes have studied every contour of his six-foot-two frame. The muscles in his back are defined and lean. He has shoulders that look hard enough to carry the weight of the world on them, and perhaps they do. When his boxers fall to the floor, I can feel my attraction for him deepen as the ache to feel him inside me grows. I trail my eyes down his back, study his perfectly shaped, hard ass and then continue my gawking down his strong legs.

  My inner sex-starved girl is begging him to turn around. I need a glimpse of his chest and well defined abdomen. As if answering my silent plea, Jeremy turns around and connects his eyes to mine.

  My face heats and my breath gets strangled inside my throat. Before I can make a move, Jeremy stalks in my direction. His face, arms and neck are stained with blood, yet his eyes are glazed with sex. I’ve been lusting after him for months now, but in this moment, I’d throw our entire relationship out the window for one evening of toe curling passion with him.

  With Jeremy now standing in front of me, our breaths are tangling together. I want to kiss him. My body and soul crave to touch my lips to his. He is standing there, naked, and I want nothing more than to jump up on his body and wrap my legs around his waist. I want to feel his dick pressing against me as we fall onto my bed and fuck.

  I want. I want. Ugh! I want.

  When we walked into Cami’s room, I stripped my blood stained clothes from my body. My skin is sticky and feels gross. The heat in my body starts to rise when I turn around and see Cami staring at my nakedness.

  She’s seen me before, but I’ve never known her to outright watch me. I will be honest, the look she is giving me right now is unnerving. I’m not really sure how I feel about it or her. I mean, I like her a lot as a friend, but more? I don’t think I will ever be ready for that. However, I can’t ignore this feeling growing in my gut. It’s pulling me toward her yet pushing me away at the same time. She has been the only sane part of the last three years of my life. With all the craziness flying around, sending me through a whirlwind, Cami has been that one stable person keeping me grounded. She’s my only true ally.

  Her tongue peeks out of her mouth slightly then she gently bites down on her lip. The air around me is shrouded in a sexual energy, causing my dick to get rock hard. I’d be a total fucking idiot if I didn’t recognize her actions, and it’s not like Cami isn’t hot because she is—she is one of the sexiest women I’ve seen—but what would the consequence be? Fatal, that’s what it would be. Her uncle wouldn’t hesitate to put a bullet between my eyes if I even look at her wrong. Besides, it’s not like I can introduce her to my family.

  I openly take her in. My eyes start at the floor and trace up her
long, slender legs and then up to her full, curvy hips. Cami is average height, maybe about five-foot-six, however her body is built like a model. Her waist is tight, and her breasts are perfect—not too big or too small. But it’s her face I can’t look away from.

  Cami has the richest brown eyes. Eyes that have seen many of life’s pains and pleasures. Eyes I want to see glazed over from an unimaginable orgasm. Her mother’s Hispanic genes are present in Cami as I yearn to feel her rich, caramel skin. It’s completely flawless and looks to be as smooth as silk. I want to feel her. I want to run my hands up her long legs and caress every inch of her body.

  As my desires begin to take over, I cross her room in three long strides and stand very close to her. The heat from her body begins to join with mine as we both radiate lust for each other. I raise my hand to her face, but like a bucket of ice water being poured on my skin, my desire disintegrates when I catch a glimpse of my blood-stained skin.

  She holds her breath and I ache to touch her, yet I can’t. She can’t be tangled up any deeper in my life than she already is. My life depends on it. I know I shouldn’t be with her now, but I am. I can’t seem to stay away from her.

  The desire washes away even further when I think about the man I am. I can’t be with someone like Cami. Even though her uncle is the major threat, Cami is too good and nice for someone as evil as myself. She may be used to the drug underworld, but she’s not associated with her uncle’s business. If she were to get with me, it would only involve her more.

  Cami cares for her mother, supports her family, and does what she can to take care of those she loves. What’s more, she doesn’t do it illegally. I won’t get her involved in my life beyond our mere friendship. I can’t.

  I drop my hand and lean forward. I want to kiss her, but I can’t and I won’t. “I need to shower.”

  While I grab the clothes from her hand and walk to the bathroom, I think of nothing else except washing the blood off my skin and replaying the events of the night in my mind. I’m not a good person; I’m a monster. And girls like Cami have been surviving monsters their whole lives. After her father’s murder and brother’s death, villains have been coinciding with Cami’s existence. I will not be that to her. I will not cause her more pain. I won’t be another person or situation she’ll have to endure.