Redeemed Love

by M. S. Brannon

I sit up on my knees and yank the back of my shirt, ripping it off over my head and sliding it over my wound. The blood is seeping, dripping down my arm to the tip of my hand, like a slow dripping faucet, but I don’t care and neither does Cami.

  I grab Cami’s white tank top, and with all the force I can muster, I tear it from her body. The sound of ripping cotton resonates beyond our panting, however the fabric is firm or I am too weakened, so I use more pressure and free her breasts from their cotton prison. Her caramel skin glistens with anticipation as her naked tits are poised for my mouth.

  With both my hands, I grab her breasts and squeeze them. My mouth falls down to her taught nipple and I begin to tease, bite, and caresses her bud. The blood running down my arm, drips onto her body and paints her skin. She is too overwhelmed with pleasure to notice, and I’m too sick in the head to stop. I am claiming her. With my mind and body, the blood of my wound is marking her as mine.

  I sit up on my knees again and yank the shorts from her body. She is completely bare between her legs and her magnificent body is displayed before me. I don’t hesitate for a single second when I drop my head between her thighs. My body yearns to taste her, and I’m doing what I’ve set out to do.

  I run my tongue between the folds of her wet pussy and get my first taste of Cami’s sweetness. I flick and devour her as I tease and work her clit under my tongue. I’ve never once put my mouth on another woman’s body, vowing only to do it when I found the one. When I felt Cami’s lips on mine, I knew she would only ever be the one I want. She understands both sides of me—the good and the bad—and it doesn’t scare her. Thinking about our future is idiotic, though; I will not allow it to distract me. I am the raw beast this town has created, and as the beast I am, Cami will only belong to me.

  I keep up the onslaught of pleasure on Cami’s pussy until she begins to quiver and her orgasm takes over her body. She arches her back off the floor and hits the skyrocketing heights of her orgasm. I continue teasing her clit until she comes down from her high, and then I unfasten my jeans and yank them down just enough.

  Cami sits up then grabs my freed dick in her palm. She strokes it slowly, running her hand from the base to the tip and back down. As the intensity of her hand on me makes a small bud of come leak from the end, Cami runs her fingers over it and gently massages it around the head of my cock. I pull a breath between my teeth, reveling in her touch and dying to ram my dick inside of her, craving to slam into her body rough and hard.

  She then climbs onto my lap and straddles me, immediately lowering herself onto my cock. I’m being sucked into her body. Her opening is tight, warm and welcoming.

  I grab her hips in my hands and crash her down the rest of the way onto me and she sucks in a breath from my sudden, forced movement. I lift her up and slam her again, only this time, she erupts and begins to wail out in pleasure.

  I take control of Cami’s body when I roll us to the ground and lie down on her naked body. My arms are resting on either side of her head, and I can feel the pain in my arm and the pleasure building in my groin. The two sensations are intoxicating, possessing me with every thrust I give. The harder I drive into Cami’s tender flesh, the more pain I feel in my arm. But I love it. It’s erotic and completely fucked up. Just like me—utterly fucked up. I am a man of two lives. I am the caring man who’s dedicated to my family, yet a beast incarnate. In this moment, as I make Cami mine, it’s the beast that thrives. He is who I’ve become since I immersed myself in the underworld, and right now, he is all I want to be.

  I ram my dick into her hard, so hard I feel like she might break in two, but Cami manages it. In fact, she manages me. I feel her hands grab onto my ass, forcing me to move faster—to move deeper. I pump my hips until the building in my balls and fire in my groin overwhelms me. Then I come.

  It’s spurting out of my cock at a rapid pace, filling Cami’s delicate body. She is becoming mine. Every inch of her body is now mine. Inside and out, I have made Cami solely mine. With my blood on her skin and my come in her body, Cami belongs to only me. She will be with no other.

  When I fall onto her body, completely worn out from everything that has happened, Cami lifts her arms and holds me to her. She strokes my back as she traces small circles into my skin. I am coming down from my high and only the pain is left; my arm throbbing and still bleeding.

  I lift my head and look into her eyes. She is the perfect woman. We’ve known each other for three years now and slowly, so very slowly, my mind and body have been telling me she is the one I need to be with. However, it will never work. Not right now, anyway.

  I’ve got too much on my plate with the Rykers, my family, Presley, and Carter. I need to handle my business before I can fully be with her.

  I’m not sure what word to use to describe what just happened. I had the most mind blowing sex ever created. It was carnal and raw, overpowering and sensual. It was vicious yet sweet. The thought makes me smile because it was all Jeremy. This is who he is. He is all of these things, and when we fucked, that’s exactly what I felt from him. Every emotion that makes up his complex disposition, I felt inside and out. The time was incredible and scarring. However, when he finally looks into my eyes, he is battling yet again inside his head. He looks as though someone has torn him apart and haphazardly put him back together.

  I raise my palm to his cheek and see the rare, tender side of Jeremy Evans. Most people find him mysterious and dark. Violent and unforgiving. But in the quiet of my room, I see more of him.

  I see the devotion he has to keep those he loves safe. I see the fear he feels, knowing that what he’s doing could get him killed at any given moment. I see that he loves someone other than his family and I think that person is me. I can feel it coming off him. Yet, like he does with so many people in his life, Jeremy will keep me bottled up until he can’t possibly hold it in anymore. I only hope that moment doesn’t come too late.

  I look down to his arm and hold it in my palm—the wound is still bleeding. I then look down to my skin and see my natural caramel color is painted crimson from his blood. It looks like I’ve been in a knife fight myself while the carpet is strikingly similar to a murder crime scene. There are blood stains all over it and splattered on the walls from violently jerking the knife out of his arm.

  Jeremy sits up and slides himself back into his jeans. His back is leaning against the bed and his legs are crossed at his ankles once more. I move to the other side of him and sit next to his wounded arm. This is exactly how we started before we got lost in the moment.

  I lay the towel under him and unscrew the cap off the vodka. I find a dirty t-shirt on the floor and slip it over my head. Then, I meet his eyes. “Are you ready for this?” I ask as I hold the bottle of booze to his wound.

  When Jeremy nods his head and looks straight ahead, I hold my breath and pour the liquor over his bleeding knife wound. He sucks in a breath through his teeth but doesn’t make a sound. I retrieve a needle and black, durable thread from my mother’s sewing basket. I pour the vodka into the empty water glass and drop the needle in for sterilization. I then measure and cut a long amount of thread and pull the needle out of the glass. As carefully as possible, I thread the string through the eye of the needle and secure the ends with a knot.

  I lift my hand to his wound and study it. It doesn’t appear to be too long, however it’s probably deep. The blood and vodka are mixing together and dripping down his arm as I determine the best course of action to take. After a couple of seconds, I just decide that no place is going to be the best, so I begin.

  Without getting his approval, I pinch his skin between my index finger and thumb and push the needle through his flesh then pull the thread through and start back near where the first needle puncture entered, pulling the skin together. With each pull of the needle, Jeremy sucks in a breath but doesn’t make a sound. He is looking beyond me somewhere, lost inside his own mind. I choose not to distract him or even talk.

  I quickly stitch up his wound until
the skin is sealed and the blood has retreated. I knot up the string as best as I can, knowing I’m probably doing this completely wrong, but as long as he doesn’t get an infection, we’re good.

  After I get up from the floor and retrieve the paper towels, I hold up the bottle of vodka, showing him what I’m about to do, and pour the rest of the liquor over his sewn cut. The paper towels are then used to wipe up the clear fluid and clean the blood from his skin as much as possible.

  Jeremy looks down to his arm and back up to me. He seems impressed and I smile. This was kind of fun. Well, minus the fact of how he got the wound to begin with.

  “You’ll probably have a wicked scar,” I say to break up the silence.

  “Well, those scars I can handle.” He looks lost in thought for a moment then returns his gaze back to mine. I missed this look on his face. It’s been a month since I’ve seen it and I want more of it. I don’t want it to ever leave again.

  Jeremy stands to his feet and walks to my dresser. In the bottom drawer he finds some of his clothes and pulls them out. “I’m going to shower.” When he looks me up and down, taking in my bare legs and blood stained skin, I’m begin to feel like this is happening all over again. He will shower, and when I wake, he will be gone. I can’t have him vanish from my life again. But what he says next is the last thing I’ve expected to hear. “It looks like you could use one, too.”

  Jeremy then turns away from me, disappearing behind the door as he walks to the bathroom. I smile, knowing what he wants, and the thought of him wanting it from me makes me gleam with happiness.

  I fucked Cami again in the shower. It was impossible to ignore her beautiful body. Besides, after she finished jabbing that damn needle in my arm, I needed to feel some pleasure. I washed my blood from her body, making her clean, then I claimed her from the inside. It felt amazing pressing her into the shower wall and feeling her warmth. Unlike before, I was slightly calmer and took my time to worship her body.

  Often times, I dream about what kind of life I will have once I’m able to get my family out of Sulfur Heights. I like to think I’ll be living on a cul-de-sac with my brothers and their families surrounding me. Our children would be as close as we all are. They’ll spend the warm summer days riding bikes, drawing pictures with sidewalk chalk and playing tag with their cousins.

  In my driveway, we will all gather in a circle, participating in the Evans Family Park and Rise while watching our children play. Alongside of me would be Cami. She would be the other person in my life, the better half of me; bare foot and pregnant with my child. I’d sit beside her and rub her swollen belly, eagerly anticipating the birth of our son. When I sit alone with my thoughts, this is always where my mind takes me.

  Since I was a child, I’ve been tormented within myself because I wanted the normalcy every American family can be blessed with. I didn’t want to be just another child born to a drug addicted mother and a loser for a father. I only wanted that piece of family everyone else outside of Sulfur Heights seemed to get. My thoughts easily took me to the future I so desperately want for my family. A future I desperately want for myself.

  However, the only way I could see a way out of this town is to become the person I loathe the most. I had to morph myself into an evil person, a beast if you will, and now I am him. After three years engrossed in the drug underworld, I am living as my alter ego more than I’m living as myself. Because of this, I am losing the real me in the process. I hold onto the hate more than I find the happiness. I look forward to going on special jobs sent down from the Rykers. I’ve withdrawn myself from my family to hide the man I’ve become. The one person who became a big part of my double life is Cami. If I lose my alter ego, will I lose Cami in the process?

  When we got back to her room, I wanted to demand she will only be mine, to tell Cami she will only belong to me. When I was possessing her on the bedroom floor, I was sure in that moment Cami would be all for me. Though, when the cloud of my orgasm filtered away, I realized I could never demand anything from her. In my head, I thought the plan would work, however the ringing of my phone said otherwise.

  Her uncle’s on the other end, reminding me if I ever want to go back to the old Jeremy Evans, she cannot come with me. By blood, she is and always will be attached to the underworld. She is a part of the life I will leave behind once my money is secured and my family is out.

  We both share glances as I reach for my phone and answer it.

  “Yeah?” My tone is unwavering, although my adrenaline is growing by the second. Whenever I receive a call from Matt, I shift my personality into the man he expects me to be. The assassin of a drug lord.

  “Get to my place. You have fifteen minutes.” Matt’s tone is lethal. The line goes blank and my stomach sinks to the ground. There is no explanation or details, which means one of two things; either the police are on to our operation or he knows what I did to Carter.

  Cami is wrapped in a towel, water dripping from her long, black hair as she just stares at me, not knowing what’s going to happen to me when I get to the Rykers.

  “I... I have to go,” I say in a clipped tone and then quickly start dressing. This has been the longest night of my life with Presley’s overdose and my over the top sex fest with Cami. However, it’s about to get even longer when I go over to the Ryker house.

  “Was that my uncle?” Every sound in her tone is worried as her eyes slightly water over. She knows what I do for her uncle as well as what I’m capable of, and this scares her.

  “Yes. I need to go.” I pull my shirt over my head and sit down on her bed to put on my boots.

  “No, please don’t leave, Jeremy. I have a bad feeling. I know what my uncle demands; he did it all the time with my father. Please… just stay. Don’t leave.” She is begging me to stay and so much of me wants to, but this is what I do for her uncle and Cami knows this. I cannot refuse his demands, it will only lead me to get hurt or worse.

  I stand to my feet and walk to the window while Cami is yanking me back, desperately trying to keep ahold of her towel and my arm. “Let go of me, Cami.”

  “No! Let me go with you. I can talk to my uncle. I can tell him about us. He will understand, please.” She is squeezing my arm unbelievably tight while the worry in her chocolate eyes burns deep into my core. Cami is refusing to go down without a fight. I ignore her pleas and move away. “I’m going with you, Jeremy.” As she begins to quickly get dressed, I turn my body to her and yank the jeans out of her hand. “Stop! I’m coming with you!”

  Anger consumes me and I grab onto her arms before pulling her body close to mine and giving her a lethal glare—the look I reserve for the men I destroy. “You can’t go with me, Cami.” My tone is menacing and evil. The beast has completely taken over my body, and I don’t hesitate to let her see. She doesn’t care, though; she’s not afraid of it or of me. Her father was like me once; she has seen all the evilness of the underworld.

  “I’m. Coming.” She holds firm to her pleas and I lose my composure.

  As I push Cami back and violently slam her into the wall, she looks scared. Her eyes are terrified and I caused that. I caused her to be frightened, and the mere sight of her scared state makes me realize she needs to be far away from me. Right now, I am the epitome of horrible. She is good and I’m not. Cami, for the sake of her safety and my sanity, needs to be away from me.

  I move my hands from her shoulders and palm her cheeks in my hands. The tears are welling in her eyes as I realize this is the only time I’ve ever seen her cry. She was whimpering when Zane attacked her, but she wasn’t crying. She was in shock and high, her emotions all over the place. However, now I stare at this beautiful woman and it’s me who’s put the sadness and fear in her eyes. I weaken. I weaken only for her.

  I bend forward and gently kiss her lips. When I look into her eyes again, they have drained of the tears she has been holding in as they stream down her face. “You can’t come with me, Cami. I don’t know what’s going to happen when I arrive
at your uncle’s house. I messed up. Carter is untouchable; we all are. He would never want us turning on each other. I disobeyed those orders, not only with Carter, but by being here with you. There will be consequences for my actions. I’ve seen him use Carter to torture families as retribution for a soldier’s insubordinate actions. You and my family are my weakness, and if he knows this, he won’t hesitate to use it against me. Besides, if you come with me, I will be dead anyway. Like I’ve told you before, our relationship is forbidden. Your uncle will kill me. Do you understand? It’s best for you to stay far away from me. From now on, just stay away.”

  My family is already involved since Carter crossed the line with Presley, however I will not let Cami get involved in any way. She has survived too much in her life. I will not put another person I care about deeper in this seedy world. Cami has so much life ahead of her, and I will not be the person who destroys it. She is my best friend, and it’s because I care about her that I have to let her go.

  Cami presses her lips to mine again and kisses me deeply. The wetness of her tears moistens my cheeks as we kiss like it’s our final goodbye. I swallow the lump rising from the pit of my stomach, knowing I will need to sever our relationship to save my friend. The cool breeze is coming through the window as her sheer curtains blow in the wind. Cami is incredibly beautiful as the tears leak from her milk chocolate eyes. I wrap my hand around her waist and study the face that’s been my peace for the last few years. I burn it into my memory, knowing I will never forget her.

  Sliding my palm up her naked arm, I run my fingers over her shoulder, grazing the delicate skin on her neck and cupping her cheek in my hand. I brush the pad of my thumb across her bottom lip and the tip of her tongue dips out to taste my thumb before it disappears back into her mouth.

  Moving slowly, I press my lips to hers again, and for a moment, transform myself into the future I dream about. While I envision kissing Cami in front of our family as we pledge our undying love before them, I kiss her like we have a real future.