Before Angie arrived, Hannah asked Viv to tell her coach that she was taking a short break from their sessions. Viv was given strict instructions not to mention Angie, to only say that Hannah would be training independently for a couple of weeks. Tim would hit the roof if he knew she was training with a rival. She gathered that Tim wasn’t happy about it, but for her, it was worth whatever anger he might take out on her when they got back to work.
She inspected her legs compared to Angie’s. The whiteness of her thighs reflected that she hadn’t been in the sun for a long time, but Angie’s skin was a warm tan. Her navy-blue swimsuit was the perfect cut for her. Hannah begged her parents to get her a new suit in time for the visit, but the black one she’d chosen wasn’t as flattering as Angie’s.
“It’s so cool of your folks to let you have time off from school while I’m here,” Angie said.
“It’s not so long. Our school holiday starts on Friday anyway,” Hannah replied. “My folks were glad for me to get a break. They worry about me balancing everything, especially my mom. She worries a lot. She doesn’t want me to get stressed out.”
“You’re lucky. My parents would never let me do something like that. They’re always at me to keep my grades up, saying they don’t want me just to be a jock and everything,” Angie said, removing her swimming cap and twisting her ponytail to wring it out. “I can’t wait to finish school. I’m going to be done with it as soon as I can.”
“I wish I could drop out of school. I’d miss being around my friends, but everyone’s treating me like I’m a weirdo or something.”
Angie dropped her hand into the water and splashed Hannah, who squeezed her eyes shut. “Screw them. You’re better than all of them.”
“That’s what Viv says.”
“Then listen to her. She knows what she’s talking about. She and Paul are so nice. It’s so great to be at your house; I love it.”
“I know it’s small, but it’s close to everything. I can’t believe your dad was going to book a separate hotel room for you! That’s crazy.”
“Yeah, he likes to have his own space. I hate sharing with him too; he snores like a drain. I bet he’s glad I’m here. Last time I went on a business trip with him I ordered so much room service because I got bored. I ate all the potato chips that were in the mini-bar too. He flipped out when it was time to settle, and he saw what I’d done.”
“Must have been fun, though. Hey, I have an idea. Let’s wag training tomorrow and do something fun. All we’ve done is swim since you got here. What if we just jumped on a train and went somewhere? Would you want to do that?”
“Huh? What does wag mean?”
“Like…skip it. Like you’d wag school.”
“Oh, play hooky? This is like when you called your swimsuit ‘togs,’” Angie said, kicking her leg. “You Aussies are so weird.”
Hannah kicked back, clutching the pool’s edge. “The way we talk is normal. It’s you guys that are weird.”
When Angie put her hand down on the concrete ledge next to Hannah’s their fingers touched. “Okay, whatever you say. It’s a good idea about tomorrow. That sounds super fun.”
For the first time, Hannah was happy that their terrace house was too small to have a spare room. It was as long and thin as a train carriage, the bedrooms branching off from the hall. Mark and Ethan shared the largest room at the front of the house.
Before Angie arrived, Hannah and Viv pulled a single mattress into her bedroom and made it up with white flannel sheets. There was barely room to walk around it, but it made the room cozy.
Each night Hannah and Angie stayed awake until late, their bodies slack from training but their mouths racing to keep pace with the conversation.
In some ways, it was like having Debbie or Marie over. But with them, Hannah never had the tripping heartbeat or the keen awareness of her own body under the sheets. A tone in Angie’s voice struck a chord in Hannah, making her wriggle on her mattress like a worm on a hook.
In the morning she rolled onto her side to see Angie looking back at her, her skin creased with sleep.
“Mmmm. Morning,” she said, rubbing a hand over her face. She quickly wiped around her mouth and checked the corners of her eyes.
“What are we doing today? Going to the movies or something like that?”
“I think we can do better than that. How do you feel about amusement parks? We should go to Luna Park. It’s a little one over in St. Kilda, by the beach. What do you think?”
Angie leaped from her mattress, jumping onto Hannah’s bed and throwing her arms around her neck. “Does this answer your question?”
“Don’t get so excited; it’s not the greatest place on earth or anything!” she said, wishing they could stay like this forever.
On the way to the park on the tram, Hannah watched Angie pressing her face to the window, taking in the Melbourne streets as they slipped by, trying to ignore it when an older man with a mustache recognized them. He leaned forward on his seat until Hannah was sure he was going to say something. She looked down at her hands, wishing people wouldn’t stare so much.
They stepped down from the tram, the bell ringing to clear its path. A chill wind from the nearby beach blew their hair back. Together they walked up to the park, to the large white face with painted red lips that arched around the entrance.
“Whoa! That face is kind of creepy,” Angie said. “Don’t you think?”
“I told you it wasn’t that great.”
“Are you kidding? It’s amazing! I love it. We sure don’t have one of these in Austin. Let’s go! I want to get on that rollercoaster!”
They rode the white rails around the park, screaming as they whipped past the curves. Hannah hadn’t been here for years and hadn’t wanted to come when Mark and Ethan had visited a while back, saying that it was for little kids. Sharing it with Angie made everything new. They argued over whether it was called fairy floss or cotton candy and played a ball game. Hannah tried to win a stuffed animal for Angie.
She threw the last ball, swearing when it bounced off her target. “This game is rigged!”
Angie grabbed her wrist. “Hannah, is that a ghost train over there? We have to!”
“How did you know? Was it the big sign that says ghost train?” Hannah said, but she was already following Angie, fishing out the pink paper tokens she’d stuffed into her jeans’ pocket.
While they waited in line, they watched carriages slap through the exit doors, disembarking passengers wide-eyed and laughing. A tiny girl with blond hair cried while her mother tugged her along by a balled fist.
Angie bumped Hannah with her shoulder. “That’s going to be you in a few minutes. I can tell.”
At last, they reached the front of the line. They were strapped into a carriage by a boy who looked only a few years older than them.
Angie put a hand on Hannah’s forearm, making her flex her fingers on the steel bar that lay across them. “This is so much fun. Thanks for bringing me. Hanging out with you is making me wish I lived here, you know? Or you lived in America so we could see each other more.”
“Me too.”
The carriage creaked forward on its tracks until they were inside, discordant organ music wrapping itself around shrieks and cackles. Glowing green lights were peppered in the dark. They rounded a corner, and Angie screamed, swatting at her hair.
“Somebody just touched me!”
A skeleton lurched toward them. Hannah jumped and moved closer to Angie, who grabbed her hand. They pushed through double doors, and a graveyard came into view, a ring of lights around it. A figure sat up and stared at them; there was nothing but black holes for eyes. They screamed, laughed and screamed again. Angie’s hand was in hers, their fingers interlaced.
After they left Luna Park, they traveled on the tram to Flinders Street station to catch a connecting train. At dusk, Paul picked them up from the station close to home. They sat on the backseat, Angie’s arm flung out so close to her that for a moment, H
annah was sure they were going to hold hands again.
“I guess I’m your cab driver tonight, huh dudes?” Paul said with a tattooed arm draped over the back of the seat and one hand on the wheel. He was five years younger than Viv, and Hannah hated the way he tried to act like her friend. But at least he was kind to her, and he got along well with Mark and Ethan. Viv had a boyfriend before him who hadn’t made any effort with them at all.
She shrugged and looked out the window. It hadn’t occurred to her that she should sit next to Paul.
“Okay, okay, I get it. Well, did you girls have a good time today?”
“We had so much fun!” Angie exclaimed. “We went on the ghost train twice, did the roller coaster and all that. We had hot dogs and fairy floss. Then we went for a walk along the beach, which was awesome even though it was windy. The park was such a cool little place.”
“I’m glad you enjoyed it. So, we all took a vote while you were out and agreed we should introduce you to a good old-fashioned Aussie barbecue tonight. What do you think?”
“Isn’t it a bit cold for a barbeque?” Hannah said. She and Angie had talked about making sandwiches for dinner and taking them into her room.
“Oh no, I’d love a barbecue! Thank you,” Angie said. She reached across to take Hannah’s wrist, turning it over to see the face of her watch. “I love this so much. I love mermaids. It suits you. It’s so funny to think it’s the middle of the night back home.”
When they arrived at the house, they found Viv, Ethan, and Mark in the kitchen. Hannah guessed they had decided to prepare for a barbecue with or without their agreement. Ethan awkwardly chopped onions into rings, his eyes almost closed as he struggled against tears. Viv strained water from potatoes, steam rising from the sink.
“Hi girls! Did you have fun today?”
“We did!” Angie said. “The park was awesome. Especially the ghost train. Can we help with something Viv? I hear we’re having a barbecue. I can’t wait!”
“I caaaaan’t wait!” Mark said in a high-pitched voice.
“You little shit, I told you to stop imitating her accent last night,” Hannah said, glaring at him.
“It’s cool, mate! Let’s not worry about it and enjoy this barbie!” Angie laughed, slinging her arm around Hannah’s shoulders.
“Your Aussie accent is terrible,” she said.
“Mark, stop doing that, and Hannah, just because he’s acting like a little shit doesn’t mean you can call him one. And Angie, thank you. If you could set the outdoor table that would be wonderful. Hannah can show you where everything is.”
They sat on the back patio to eat. Angie wore one of Hannah’s sweaters and a blanket draped around her knees. A row of dishes sat along the table filled with coleslaw, potato salad, fried onion, rissoles, and sausages. Paul put a plate in front of Hannah, with a piece of fish he’d just lifted from the grill. For the first time in months, watching Angie wrap a rissole in soft white bread, Hannah wished she still ate red meat.
“Australian barbecues are awesome,” Angie said when their stomachs were full, carrying a stack of plates inside.
“Glad you enjoyed it, love. What do you think, should we watch a movie or something? We’ve got ice cream?” Viv asked.
“That sounds great, but I’m super tired. Still getting over the jet lag, I guess. I thought I might go to bed soon,” Angie said.
When Angie came back from the shower, Hannah was in her bed, staring at nothing. After they’d gotten off the roller coaster, she’d bought a photograph of them coming around the last curve from the nearby stand. The photo was tucked into the shoebox under her bed now, where she kept all of Angie’s letters and any photographs she hadn’t stuck to the wall.
If she closed her eyes, she could still see the picture, both of them laughing as they screamed with their hands in the air.
“Can I put on some music?” Angie asked. Her pajamas were pastel blue, punctuated by yellow stars and moons.
“Of course, you can, but I thought you were tired?”
Angie flipped through the collection of tapes Hannah kept in a shoebox on her desk. She held up a Joy Division album. “You know I had no idea who these guys were when you mentioned them in Spain? I wrote it down when I got back to my room and asked my dad to buy me this tape. I’m actually not that tired; I just wanted to hang out. But I like hanging out with your family. They’re so nice!”
“Except for my brothers.”
“Oh, they’re not so bad. You’re lucky you have them. Only thing I want more than a sister is a little brother.”
The opening bars of “Disorder” played while Angie walked over to the light switch. The room fell dark to the sound of the drums and clean guitar notes.
“So…Hannah, do you have a boyfriend or anything?” Angie asked from the floor, her voice closer than usual.
“Nah. Do you?” Hannah said, wetting her lips.
It was a strange question for Angie to ask now, when they’d been writing to one another for months. One of the things Hannah enjoyed about talking with Angie was the fact that boys never came up. Even Marie and Debbie spoke about this stuff more than she’d like, but she had learned to bat that kind of attention away. It was easy to say that she was too busy with swimming to care about boys, and her friends seemed to accept it.
“No. Have you ever had one?”
“Not yet, no. Kind of have my mind on other things,” Hannah said.
“Have you had your first kiss yet?”
“What’s with all the questions? Are you auditioning to be a journalist or something? You’d fit right in with them, I think. Are you taping me from down there?”
“We just haven’t talked about any of this stuff before, that’s all.”
Hannah rolled onto her side to look down at Angie. “All right, then no I haven’t. But I bet you have.”
It was only a white lie. There was a party at Marie’s house a few months ago, and she kissed a boy called Oliver Blake from her biology class. They were pushed together during a game that Hannah hated, called two minutes in the closet.
Hannah hadn’t wanted to play but couldn’t think of a way to get out of it without anyone noticing. She was afraid of being called frigid, but then it was awful, the way everyone hooted and clapped when it was her turn to get shut away with Oliver.
Oliver’s tongue in her mouth was like a wet slug. It seemed to go on forever as she waited for the time to tick over so the other kids would knock on the door and interrupt them.
“What makes you say you bet I’ve kissed someone? Do I seem easy or something?” Angie asked.
“Totally. Easy street. I bet you’ve made out with every dude at your school.”
Angie knocked the wind out of her when she jumped on top of her. They shrieked and giggled as Angie held her wrists down on the mattress. “How dare you?”
After a few moments of wrestling, Angie climbed off but stayed close to her side. “I haven’t, you know. It makes me feel weird when all my friends have. I mean, except you.”
“Well, there you go. Neither of us has. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“It would be nice to have it over with, wouldn’t it?”
The strip of light spilling in from under the door showed the way Angie stared back at her. Hannah shrugged again. The meaning seeped into the gaps between Angie’s words, and into the silence that followed.
“I don’t mind,” Hannah said.
“Not even a little bit?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. Sometimes. Doesn’t have to be a big deal if we just tried it, right?”
“No, it doesn’t,” Angie said softly. Her eyes fluttered shut as they shifted closer to one another. They lay stiffly with their closed mouths pressed together, and then Angie’s lips came alive.
When Angie moved on top of her, Hannah threw her arms around Angie’s neck.
This was nothing like the time she and Oliver had kissed. This kiss didn’t feel like pretending or waiting for it to finish. This ma
de lights pop behind her eyes and made her stomach flip over. Angie’s tongue in her mouth was soft and sweet. She didn’t want it ever to end.
Hannah closed her eyes and kissed her back.
Chapter Six
In the morning, when she rolled over toward the mattress on the floor next to her bed, Angie wasn’t there. By the time she returned from the bathroom already showered and dressed, Viv was calling them for breakfast.
Viv spooned fluffy scrambled eggs onto the toast on their plates. Sometimes it felt like eggs were all Hannah ate when she was training, and she got sick of them, but she needed the protein.
Mark and Ethan took turns punching one another in the arm, wincing dramatically when they were hit.
“Would you stop it, you two? We have a guest!” Viv said.
“Angie doesn’t mind. We’re demonstrating boxing kangaroos for her, see?” Mark said, raising a fist toward Ethan again.
Hannah tried to catch Angie’s eye, but Angie kept her eyes trained on her plate. While the twins showed off, she laughed politely but didn’t say a word. After breakfast, Paul drove them to the pool, ranting the whole time about the football game he’d watched the day before.
Hannah and Angie swam for an hour and a half, the work unbroken by their usual games. When they were done, they moved on to the nearby gym to run on the treadmills.
She watched Angie’s white and purple sneakers as her feet hit the ground. Their eyes met in the mirrored wall in front of them. She pushed hair, dampened from sweat, back from her face.
“You should get one of these,” Angie said, pointing to her pink headband.
“No way. Lame!”
“Ha! You wish you could look this cool.”
Running Deep Page 4