by Amy Richie
“You have to be brave.”
“I don't know how to be brave.”
“You're the bravest person I've ever known,” he whispered.
I momentarily forgot how to breathe.
“I've been thinking,” I began in a rush of words as the oxygen refilled my lungs.
“About what?” He inched closer to hear my half whispered words.
“About you and Tristan and about Violet.”
He stayed silent, but didn't move away so I knew he was listening.
“Tristan said that if I die, you can be free to be with Violet again,” I forged ahead, despite the hammering of my heart.
“Why are you bringing this up again? If you kill yourself you'll become one of the cursed. It won't save anyone.”
“I know that,” I huffed. “I don't plan on killing myself.”
“Then why did you bring it up?”
“I just meant,” I pushed my breath out through my nose, “that when I do die...”
He made a noise low in his throat.
“When I do,” I continued forcefully, determined to finish saying what I had already started, “I want my death to be for you. I want to break your curse to Tristan. Then you'll really be free.”
“Why do you always have to say stupid things,” he asked after too long of a silence. I was shocked to hear the catch in his voice.
Why was it so stupid though? Him and Nona had already said the same thing. Why was it so wrong for me to agree with them?
“I'm just saying...”
“I heard you,” he cut me off.
“It's not that big of a deal.” I watched as a shadow slowly passed across the ceiling- a black shadow.
“It is a big deal,” Toby argued before I had time to worry about the shadow. “Your life is a big deal.”
“I just...”
“Don't do that,” he leaned even closer so I could see his pronounced glare. “Your life is so precious, don't just throw it away- for anyone.”
“I'm not,” I glared back without actually looking at him.
“Well, don't get it into your head that you can save me either,” he hissed. “You may be brave beyond your years, but you're no superhero.”
“Superhero?” My lip curled up on it's own accord.
“You wouldn't look that great in spandex.”
Here I was offering to die for him and all he could do was tease me. My eyes narrowed even further and my lips were ready to fire out a retort; and then I made the mistake of looking up at him.
His face was only a few inches from mine; he wasn't laughing though or even smiling at his own joke. He stared down at me, his dark eyes intense and more serious than I expected.
Very suddenly, the air around us grew warm- warmer than I'd ever felt with Toby before.
His hand raised up to brush the hair away from my forehead. Very softly, he traced the line of my face until his fingers rested briefly next to my now slack mouth.
“I don't want you to die.” I watched as he struggled to swallow. “So please don't do anything reckless.”
“Okay,” I breathed out.
Ever so slowly, he leaned down until his lips were pressed against my forehead.
“Sleep,” he gently ordered, “I'll be right here the whole night- watching over you.”
Even if I knew what to say, my tongue was glued to the top of my mouth so I wouldn't have been able to talk anyways. Instead of trying for any response, I rolled over until my face was pressed into the back of the couch.
What had just happened? Why was Toby lying to me now when I had heard him telling Nona he wanted me dead? And why was my heart racing so fast because of Toby?
With no easy answers, I squeezed my eyes shut tight- waiting impatiently for sleep.
Chapter Eight
My eyes popped back open, creating a small groan that my throat couldn't contain. Although my body was trying, my mind refused to obey Toby and try to sleep.
I kicked my foot out, momentarily forgetting that my ankle was sore. I silently winced at my stupidity, knowing that Toby was still there with me.
“Just sleep,” I told myself fiercely. I was tired enough to sleep for days, so why wouldn't my eyes stay closed?
Frustrated, I turned over so that I was once again staring up at the ceiling. The dark shadow, if there had ever really been one, was gone. It had probably just been my imagination before.
Rather than search the corners too intently, I rolled again until I was facing Toby. He hadn't moved much. Surprised, I yanked my head back into the back of the couch.
“Do you want a warm rag?” he asked without a smile.
When I was very little and the ghost-people left me too scared to fall asleep, Toby would drape a warm wash cloth across my shoulder blades. Some nights he had to rewarm the rag several times before I could fall asleep.
That had been a long time ago and I had long since grown out of the habit.
Without answering, I turned back to my original position of facing in towards the couch.
*****
I knew I was dreaming as soon as I saw the familiar road that led to nowhere. This was the same place I had first seen Nona. Why did she bring me here now though when she could talk to me when I was awake?
“Nona?” I called out. My voice echoed back to me in the way that only dreams allowed. Nona still didn't appear though.
“Hello?” I called even louder. “Is anyone here?” Why bring me to the dream only to be a no show?
Just as I was beginning to get impatient for something to happen, a bright white light exploded onto the road. Squinting, I shielded my eyes with both hands.
I expected Nona to emerge after the light faded some, instead it was a woman wearing a long white dress. A woman I had seen before on this very road.
“I know you,” I called out to the woman. “I've seen you before.”
The woman came into clearer focus, showing off her long pale hair and tiny features. Lines of blood that were no longer flowing came from both her wrists, bright red against her white skin.
“You were in the bathroom that day in the gas station too,” I realized. “And out in the woods.” My eyes narrowed but the woman didn't say anything. “Who are you?”
It was weird that she didn't say anything. Was this why Toby had always called me Crazy, because I went for so long without talking?
Without a single word, the woman turned and began to walk down the road. Indecision fluttered around inside my stomach. I wanted to know who she was and she was the only one who showed up- but would it be safe to follow her?
“Where are you going?” I yelled. She didn't turn around or slow down at all.
With a small sigh, I hurried to catch up. I could at least try to figure out what she wanted - if she was the one who called me to the road. There was no harm in that.
“So can you at least tell me who you are,” I continued as I followed close at her side. “Just your name. If you can't talk- you can just write it down.”
Considering we didn't have any paper, I realized this would be hard. “Just write it out in those stones,” I suggested, pointing to where the road turned into a narrow strip of rock before changing to a never ending field of grass.
The woman just kept walking without hesitation.
Out of nowhere, the road under my feet was wet as if it had just rained. The air was still as dry as ever though.
“What?” I looked up to ask the woman another question she wouldn't answer and she was gone. I spun around quickly; there was no sign of her anywhere.
I didn't have time to wonder where she went, water began to pour from all around me so quickly that I was soon submerged completely. What had moments before been a road changed into a river in just seconds.
I kicked hard at the ground that was still under my feet, shooting my body upwards. No relief came though, the water just went on and on with no end in sight.
Maybe since I was only dreaming, I wouldn't be able to drown. I pushed myself in a slow circle, searching for any way out. From the darkness of the murky water, a face appeared.
The world stopped for a minute; the whole world stopped spinning as my brain processed that face. He wasn't here though- it wasn't possible that he was here.
Austin.
He had been my only friend; an entire friendless life with just a single burst of life. Austin. A light that was drowned in a lake similar to this one.
I opened my mouth to scream, letting in a rush of water that streamed down my throat and cut off my air supply. I was drowning- just like Austin.
But this was a dream! I couldn't drown in a dream. Then again, Zac had almost managed to kill me in a dream- maybe I could drown.
Then the scene changed again. Austin's face disappeared, to be replaced by the woman's face- eyes opened wide and flowing bright in the darkness. Or maybe I was just dying.
As quickly as the water had rushed in, it started to drain away. Soon, I was left on completely dry land again, gasping for a breath of air. Holding one hand tight against my sore throat, I looked around to where the water had taken me.
It was the road- the same road.
The woman in white was there too, staring down at me with her wide eyes. As wary as Nona made me, I preferred her dreams to this one.
“What do you want?” I rasped out, my throat itchy and my eyes starting to water. “What do you want from me?”
I didn't expect her to answer me, so I wasn't surprised when she continued to stare down at me. In place of words that might actually mean something, the woman raised one long arm and pointed out into the field.
I raised up slightly, looking for something out there besides the grass. There was nothing there, though, that wasn't there before. “What's out there? I don't see anything.”
The wind picked up suddenly, whipping across my()face and stinging my eyes. Still, the field remained empty as far as I could tell. I had expected the wind to blow something new into the dream.
“What's going on? I screamed over the roar that the wind had become.
The woman continued to point at the grass.
“I need to wake up,” I called out to her. “I want to wake up now!”
“Wake up?” a voice echoed all around us.
The woman's arm dropped to her side and she soon became just a swirling mass of white light. Now that the comfort of her weird presence was gone, I knew I better wake up fast.
Who's voice was that? Was it Zac?
With a great effort, I managed to crawl up to my knees. The wind was too strong for me to be able to stand up all the way. Where would I run anyways?
“You can't be thinking to leave already?” The voice asked, much closer now.
I spun around and landed back on the ground. A man stood in the middle of the road, a man with honey colored curls. “Tristan?” My heart leapt into my throat at the sight of him. “Tristan!”
He smiled at me, his eyes a strange dark color.
With the appearance of Tristan on the road, the wind died down enough that I could stand up again.
“I've been waiting for you,” Tristan boomed out. It wasn't his voice though, not the one I remembered.
“You have?”
“All this time.” His outline blurred when he took a step forward. This wasn't the Tristan I remembered.
“I want to wake up,” I half whimpered, taking a step back to match his forward.
“You can't go anywhere, Ren,” he laughed loudly. “There's nowhere to run.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a flash of light out in the field where the woman had been pointing. Was there really something out there? Something inside me told me to make a run for it.
It didn't take long to reach the grass, the road wasn't that wide. As soon as my feet left the pavement, everything went completely black.
Chapter Nine
I bolted up, my mouth already opened wide in a silent scream. My lungs refused to take in any oxygen, leaving me panicked and gasping. It took me a minute to realize that I was back in the cabin.
Still in the cabin, I amended myself. I had never really left the couch. It was all just a dream. I thumped hard at my chest, attempting to get my organs to work properly.
It was all a dream. I was safe; I had been safe the whole time. Tristan wasn't here- even if he was, he would never hurt me.
“Hey,” Toby patted my back lightly, perching himself beside me on the couch. “Are you alright?”
“Bad. Dream,” I choked out.
“Was it Zac?” There was a catch in his voice; I couldn't see his scowl, but I knew it was there.
I shook my head violently. Zac hadn't been there this time. It was Tristan. But it wasn't really Tristan, it was just a dream. Because Tristan would never hurt me. Not ever.
“The woman in white,” I told him as clearly as my sore throat would allow. For being just a dream, it had left my throat burning still.
“Not Zac?” His hand relaxed on my arm. I hadn't even realized he was holding onto me.
“Only the woman,” I lied, not knowing why.
“Did she say anything?”
“No.” She never says anything. “It was probably just a dream then,” he soothed.
I nodded. “Austin was there.”
“Austin?”
“In the water,” I nodded again. “I saw his face.”
“It was only a dream,” he repeated.
“I know.”
“Why don't you lay back down,” he suggested.
I turned my head so I could see him better.
“I'll lay down with you,” he offered. And just like when I was a little kid, Toby crawled behind me and pulled me close to him.
Of course, I had been a lot smaller then, and we had a bed instead of a couch. Still, I gratefully sank into his body- thankful for the safety I found there.
“It's strange that there was water in your dream,” he murmured close to my ear. His deep voice vibrated through my back.
“It started off as a road.”
“Mmm,” he made a low noise, “you always dream of the road.”
“That's right,” I remembered. Ever since I was small, I had dreamed of the road. “And the woman.” She was often there too. But she had disappeared as I got older.
“And the woman,” he agreed.
“Do you know who she is?”
“I didn't see her.”
“How can she come to my dreams, is she's one of the Cursed?”
“I don't know.”
Why was Tristan there? I didn't ask out loud. Nona and Zac had both used my dreams to talk to me, so I understood that Tristan would be able to as well.
But why did he?
He hadn't really said anything at all, and when he did talk, it wasn't even his voice. Was it just because it was a dream? Was he able to change himself in my dream?
If that was true, it all circled back to the same question- why would he?
“But I will tell you this much,” Toby interrupted my never ending thoughts, “you don't have to worry about Zac here.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“If he didn't find you while you were sleeping, it means the Halskette worked.”
“Tristan wouldn't be able to find me with this on either, right?” I thought I did a pretty decent job of keeping the fear out of my voice.
“From what I understand, none of the brothers can,” Toby replied. “Why? Was Tristan in your dream?”
My silence spoke for me.
“What did he say?”
“He was acting weird,” I admitted in a small voice. “I was... scared of him.”
I felt Toby's sigh against my head. “It was just a dream. I don't think it was really him.”
“What do they want from me, Toby?”
All my life they had come to me; the woman in the white dress and Nona show
ing me the road to nowhere. Why me though? What could I do?
“Don't worry about what they want,” Toby growled out.
“Nona said I have to be a warrior.”
“You don't have to be anything.”
“I heard you two talking earlier,” I admitted softly.
“Who?”
“You and Nona.”
“After your shower?” He already knew. “That's why you went back to the bedroom?”
“Yeah.”
“What exactly did you hear- or think you heard?”
“I know that you want me to die.” Who could blame me for only remembering that part?
“I don't want you to die.”
“You told her you were tired of me.”
He was quiet for a long time before finally responding. “Nona is a very powerful being,” he began in a low voice, “I don't think it's a good idea to let her know how much I care for you.”
“You care for me?”
“You've grown on me,” he sighed.
“But you need me to die so you can get away from Tristan and his curse.”
“Stop saying that.”
“I'm not mad about it.”
“I'm not going to let anyone hurt you. Including me.”
“Zac wants me dead and Nona wants me to kill Tristan.” I sucked in a breath and held it there, all too aware of how close to tears I really was.
“I already told you not to worry about what they want.”
I stayed quiet, allowing myself to be lulled by the movement of Toby's chest as he breathed in and out. Why a ghost needed to breath, I had no idea.
“It's hard not to worry about it,” I said after a while. “It's hard not to think about it.”
“Why don't you try to get some rest?”
“Maybe that's the only way to stop it though,” I ignored his ridiculous suggestions.
“What is?”
“If I kill Tristan,” I clarified, “or if I die- that's the only way for everything to stop.”
Toby's arms snaked around my waist and held me tight while I struggled not to cry. “It is true,” he said hoarsely, “as long as Tristan wonders the earth collecting his Cursed- you'll be able to see them and be tormented by them and Zac will always try to kill you.”