by Amy Richie
“I think that Tristan will turn on his brothers to protect you and then you'll be able to smash the Halskette.”
“Then Zac would kill me.” And considering that I would likely be right there, he would have no trouble finding me.
Nona obviously didn't think that part was important. “One of the brothers would be gone.”
“What about Toby? What would happen to him?”
“All of Tristan's Cursed will be freed.”
“Where will they go?”
“Most of them will move on, some will probably stay behind.”
“Tristan said if I don't kill myself, he'll set Toby and Violet free so they can be together. Can you do that?”
“I have no control of the Cursed. They will both be freed though, so they could move on together if they wanted.”
“Yeah, but move on where?”
“To the afterlife,” she shrugged.
“And what about me?”
“I don't know.”
“Will I see Toby again?”
“I can't answer that, Ren. You'll move on too after Zac kills you, but I don't know if it will be with Toby.”
Glad that it was so easy for her to be nonchalant about it all.
“What about Tristan?”
“Tristan will cease to exist.”
“He won’t move on?”
“He was never human, so the rules don't apply to him.”
I sucked in a deep breath and let it back out through puffed out cheeks.
“This is a lot to take in, so I'll leave you alone now,” Nona said. “But think of this, Ren.” I looked over at her. “Zac will kill you eventually one way or another. You can't hide from him forever. My guess is it won't be long. Don't you want your life to be worth something?”
Before I could find any words to say, she was gone.
Chapter Twelve
A three headed creature?
It was easier to scoff at Nona's story when she wasn't sitting beside me. No way was that true. Zac and Tristan weren't even close to the same; and I hadn't ever met the third brother.
The other part though, the part about Tristan being a monster wasn't so easy to laugh off. He had saved me more than once, but I could still see the monster in him.
He created such torment and unhappiness in the world, driving people to suicide to gain power. How many Cursed did he control? Hundreds, it had to be. All these years that him and his brothers had free reign- it was hard to even imagine how many lives he had cut short.
Toby, who seemed so strong and brave, had fallen to his own despair. Violet, even though I didn't know her. How much had she suffered before finally putting an end to it? Those two should have been allowed to live a happy life together.
Tristan's curse had ruined my life too. Maybe I could have had parents who loved me like the ones I saw in TV if only I couldn't see Toby. How much had I truly missed out on?
And who would take the curse after me? By not killing Tristan when I had the chance, I was just as much a monster as he was. I would be condemning so many lives to torment and fear all because I liked a guy.
Any way I looked at it, though, it caused my chest to tighten. Nona was asking me to trick Tristan into saving me- so that I could kill him. Would he know what I had done before he just ceased to exist?
If I was lucky, Zac would kill me quickly so I didn't have to live with the guilt for too long. I usually wasn't very lucky though.
No, I decided with a scowl. I wasn't going to do it. Who said I had to do what Nona told me to? Who was she to just come in and dump this all in my lap? Where was she while the ghost-people were terrorizing me throughout my entire life?
Toby said not to do it, he said I didn't have to. We'd just keep running...
My scowl faded, replaced by a growing sadness. Toby. Could I ask him to stay separated from Violet any longer just to run away with me?
He would do it if I asked him to; I was sure of that. He had been mean to me since I was a kid, but that was only because he wanted to be reunited with Violet and he knew I would never be brave enough to help him.
Did I really want to disappoint him by running away again?
Toby had watched me grow up; he saw the ghost-people scare me straight into a mental hospital. He had always been there; even in my earliest memories- Toby was there. My one and only constant in a world of chaos.
I had started to hate him after Austin died- and he hated me after that day too. He was the one who wouldn't let me go help him after the ice gave way. That was the night they had given me a bed in Nine Crosses.
Even after I refused to look to Toby for guidance, he stayed beside me. I always thought he wanted me to go crazy that night but maybe he knew I'd drown too if I went in after Austin.
The curse could have been broken that night for him. He should have let me drown.
Then there was Tristan, who I didn't know very well. He had shown up one night in my bedroom and shaken my life up yet again.
He was a monster.
It was hard to see him as a monster. If I closed my eyes, I could only see the golden curls and full lips. His easy laughter came readily to my memory; making my heart ache all over again.
How could I choose between the two of them? Then again, why was it so agonizing? Shouldn't the answer be obvious?
Mentally frustrated, I lowered my face into my hands, wishing I was back at Nine Crosses where they told me when to eat, when to sleep, and when to use the bathroom. I didn't have to think about anything there.
Actually, I had become pretty good at doing very little thinking at all. I wasn't even sure exactly how long I had been there. If Toby hadn't told me I was nineteen, I might not have known.
“Hey, Crazy,” Toby called out softly, bringing my head snapping up.
“Hi,” I rushed out, eyes wide. Had he heard everything Nona said? And now he was watching me agonizing over which one to save? Is that why he looked so sad?
“Thought you might be cold,” he laid a light green sweater on the log next to me. “Mind if I sit?”
I shook my head and picked up the sweater. “Thanks,” I mumbled, shoving my arms through the narrow openings.
“Is it too small?” He swung himself up beside me.
“No.”
“You looked pretty deep in thought out here.”
“Yeah,” I bobbed my head slightly.
“Are you scared?”
“A little,” I admitted, carefully not looking at him. I was terrified but I wanted to stay as brave as he thought I was.
“Of Zac?”
I looked over at him, then away quickly. “I'm afraid of what Nona said I had to do.”
“Did you talk to Nona?”
“Yeah.”
“When? Was she in your dream?”
Had he not seen her? “No, she was here,” I waved at the place he was now sitting, “she just left.”
He looked beside him as if she were still sitting there. “What did she tell you to do?” he asked, swinging his eyes back to me.
“I have to smash my necklace.”
“Why would you do that? Then Zac would be able to find you.”
“Because,” I swallowed hard over the lump in my throat, “if I smash the necklace, Tristan will die.”
He was silent for the length of several heartbeats. “Zac would kill you,” he bluntly pointed out.
“All the people that Tristan had condemned to be Cursed would be free if I smash that necklace.”
“What about you?” he stubbornly kept on.
“Who cares about me,” I chuckled hysterically.
“I do.”
Biting down on the inside of my cheek, I looked over at Toby. “Do you miss Violet?”
His mouth fell open and then snapped shut again. “Why are you asking me about Violet?”
“I can reunite you with her by smashing this necklace.” I pulled the pendant out from the safety of m
y shirt and held it up for him to see.
“Smashing that necklace would get you killed,” he shoved it back inside my shirt, “and no, I don't miss her.”
“You don't mean that.”
“When I saw Violet, she was someone that I couldn't have and that made me want her all the more. After all these years,” he pursed his lips thoughtfully, “I'm not even sure I ever loved her at all.”
“But you killed yourself because she was dead.”
He shook his head before I'd even finished saying it. “There was a woman who visited me around that time- a woman with short hair.”
“Nona?”
“Yes.”
“What did she want?” Why would Nona visit him?
“She wanted to tell me about you.”
That wasn't what I had been expecting. “Me?”
“She told me all those years ago that I would become Tristan's plaything, but would one day meet a young girl who would save everyone.”
“She didn't mean me.”
“But in order for all that to happen,” he continued as if I hadn't said anything, “I had to end my own life.”
“And you agreed to it? Just like that?”
“I wasn't interested in the life my father wanted for me and at that time, I thought I had just lost the love of my life.”
“So you agreed to die so you could one day save a bunch of people?”
His eyes narrowed as he watched me. “It didn't turn out like I thought it would.”
“You wanted to be a hero?”
“There's no such thing as a hero.”
“There is.”
“People are only out for themselves.”
Years of only being able to watch people and not actually live among them had turned Toby into a bitter person. But he wasn't right. And I was going to prove him wrong.
“Not everyone is,” I muttered, turning back away from him.
“Whatever it is you're thinking about doing, don't do it,” he warned me.
I pulled the necklace back out and held the pendant between my two fingers. “I'll do whatever I need to do.”
“I won't let you,” he declared fiercely.
“You don't have a choice,” I stood up in a swift fluid motion. “I've made up my mind.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” He stood up too, placing himself directly in front of me.
“It means that I've made my choice.” I raised my chin so I could glare up at him. “And I pick you.”
Chapter Thirteen
“Where do you think you're going?” Toby loudly called to my retreating back. “Stop right there!”
I wasn't stopping though. I knew what I had to do, and he knew it too. Walking fast so I didn't have time to change my mind, I made my way through the trees.
There was no destination in my mind, but it felt more right out in the open instead of inside the cabin where the ghost-people had attacked me. Out here, I felt more in control; it didn't matter if that was only an illusion.
“Where are you going?” Toby snarled behind me. “What do you think you're doing?”
I kept walking, not looking back at him.
“Are you some nature expert now?” The strain was thick in his voice; I didn't stop. “Why are you going into the woods? You'll just get lost out here.”
The normal biting meanness was back in his voice.
“What are you going to do if you fall and bust your ankle the rest of the way?”
“I'm not going to fall,” I turned on him, making his eyes go wide.
He rebounded quickly. “You might, you don't walk very well even on flat ground.”
“That's not true,” I rolled my eyes.
“You're crazy.”
“Is that supposed to hurt my feelings?”
“Look,” his tongue darted out to slide swiftly over his bottom lip, “let's just go back to the cabin. You can tell me what crazy plan you've come up with and then I can figure out a better way.”
I shook my head, pressing my lips tight together. If I went back with Toby and gave myself any time to think things through, I'd let him talk me into running away again.
“No,” I shot out, “I've already decided.”
“To let Zac kill you?”
I nodded.
“That's suicide! You'll become one of Zac's Cursed, then you'll be completely unreachable.”
“I'm not killing myself,” I denied. “I don't want to die and I'll try to get away from him.”
“You don't stand a chance against Zac.”
“I...” I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart. “I know the risk.”
“Then why are you so willing to face him?”
For you.
“Nona said it's my fate to destroy the necklace.” It was too hard to think about killing Tristan in the process.
“Don't listen to Nona,” he snarled. “I did what she told me to do and I was forced to spend years and years in this terrible curse. Don't make the same mistake.”
It wasn't a mistake, though. Hearing him talk about the curse with such a tortured look erased any lingering doubt I might have had. As long as Nona hadn't lied to me about what would happen after I smashed the necklace- I would do whatever I had to do to get it done.
I pulled the pendant back out in the open and lifted it away from my body. If I took the necklace off, Tristan would be able to find me. Would he come if I called him? Everything would be for nothing if Zac came and Tristan didn't.
“Don't take that off,” Toby shot out, guessing my intentions.
“I have to.”
I managed to get the chain just past my chin before Toby pulled my hands away and pinned them by my sides. “What are you talking about; you have to?”
“Tristan won't be able to come here if I keep the necklace on.”
“That's the point.”
Pulling my arms away from him, I turned my body and tugged at the chain again. I didn't even get to my chin this time.
“I'm not letting you do anything crazy.”
“You can't stop me.”
“Of course I can.”
“Toby.”
“I made a vow to do whatever I could to keep you safe.”
“You promised not to leave me alone,” I corrected. That wasn't exactly the same thing.
“No,” he shook his head. “Before I ever knew you, I gave my word to Nona that I would keep you safe.”
“You've kept me safe all these years. You've let me make it up to this point; now it's my turn to do what I have to.”
“I won't let you do this,” he repeated.
“You don't have a choice.”
“Ren.”
I sucked in a quick breath. It was the first time in a very long time that he had said my name. My heart flipped over at the sound of it coming off his lips.
“You can't know what will happen if you let Zac get you.”
“I won't let him,” I half whispered, still in shock.
“I don't want to lose you.”
“You don't know what will happen either,” I told him in a small voice.
Toby had finally stopped hating me and now we would be torn apart. At least I wouldn't have to live without him for very long, I comforted myself.
Maybe Toby was right, going willingly into Zac's arms might very well make me become one of his Cursed. It didn't change my mind though. I was still willing to do all I could to save Toby.
At least as one of the Cursed, I wouldn't have to be afraid all the time.
“I know why you want to do this.” Toby grabbed both my shoulders so I would be forced to face him.
It wasn't like I had tried to hide the reason.
“You said that you pick me, right?” He bent his head enough to put us eye to eye.
I nodded, not trusting my voice anymore.
“Well, I pick you, too.”
I swallowed hard; I couldn't p
ull my eyes away from him.
“My choice is to stay here with you,” he went on. “You'll live a long, happy life; and when you naturally die, I'll still be set free.”
For one warm moment, I allowed his words to wash over me and make my hope soar. He was right; all I had to do was not kill myself and then Toby would be free of the curse.
In the next second, reality came flooding back over me. “Zac would never let me live a long, happy life.” He would eventually hunt me down and then Toby would have to start over with the next generation of Seer.
“I'll protect you,” he fiercely promised.
“I don't think you can.” Even Tristan wasn't as powerful as Zac and he had been the one to make Toby a Cursed.
“Yes I can,” he insisted, desperation starting to creep into his voice and in the depths of his dark eyes.
I shrugged out from under the weight of Toby's hand and took a step backwards- away from him. “You can't.”
“Don't throw your life away,” he pleaded.
Couldn't Toby understand yet though? I wasn't throwing my life away at all. This moment was what I had been born for- this final act of bravery. It was why Toby had kept me safe for so long; why he kept the ghost-people far enough away so I wouldn't lose my mind completely.
I finally understood more clearly than ever before. Dying at the hands of Zac was my fate- maybe so; but it was also my fate to save Toby. And I was okay with that.
“I'm not throwing my life away.”
Whether he recognized defeat of if he wasn't quick enough, Toby didn't stop me when I pulled the necklace all the way off. I kept the pendant clutched tightly in my fist, waiting.
I expected something to happen right away. A flash of light or puff of smoke. Something. Zac was looking for me, so I figured he would immediately show up.
Everything was quiet.
“What happens now?” I whispered, scanning the trees all around us.
“It's not working,” Toby said way too loudly, “just put it back on.”
I wasn't going to do that though; not now that I had come this far. They would come- I just had to wait.
Chapter Fourteen
“Do you think I should call again?” I asked, lifting my head from my knees.