by Towne, L. E.
“No, he wouldn’t. He’s a decent guy—has been really decent about the whole thing, really.”
Az came back into the living room with the ice cream carton and two spoons, lowering herself to the floor as Malinda wrestled into an upright position.
“First bite’s yours.” They had done this ritual since college. Whenever there was bad news—a lost job, a break up, a crappy grade, they’d eat ice cream out of the same carton. Strangely enough, she could not remember a ritual for celebrating good news. Mal scooped a hefty chunk of Macadamia Nut Fudge and handed the container back to her.
“You think he’ll get married again?”
“I’m sure.” The words sounded too matter of fact, even for her. “He’s young, attractive. Do you think he’s going to live in a monastery?”
“He may not marry again.” Mal licked her spoon. Az looked at her friend and wondered why it would matter, or even why Mal would think that way about Jonathan. She and Jonathan had never really seen eye to eye on anything. Her friend shrugged, handing the carton back. “Maybe he will if he wants more kids.”
“Well, I always wanted for Eli to have a sibling.” Azure’s words sounded almost hopeful, not morose or filled with regret that she hadn’t produced the sibling. It was true. Having been raised as an only child, she wanted at least three, but some things never come to pass.
Mal scrunched up her face.
“That’s just your perception of things, because you wanted more kids. Eli’s fine. He’s great.”
Not answering immediately, Az caught herself remembering again.
“Ross was always going on with news about his brother or his sisters.” She couldn’t help it. Every subject seemed to come back to him.
“So, you talked about it? The kids thing?” Malinda asked.
“We were in Witchita, I think—outdoors on a rooftop terrace café of some hotel. He had flown in a day early.” Azure blushed as she recalled he’d gotten to the convention early specifically to be with her. “He told me about his sister’s graduation.”
She remembered the day vividly, the sunset colors picking up strands of blonde in his hair. How his eyes watched her behind his Rayban’s.
“I tell you there’s nothing like sitting in a huge Texas stadium with thousands of families listening to some Republican wanna-be speak at graduation. It was hot and muggy and I could have used this beer.” He’d held up a bottle of Michelob he was sipping from. She remembered it was warm, but windy and they’d weighed napkins and coasters down with silverware. “Seeing my little sister was great though.”
He’d asked about Eli and she told him that by the second day the pre-school teacher come rushing up to her car after class to say what a sweet boy he was. She must have looked sad at that and as usual, Ross had picked up on it.
“Az? What are you thinking?” He leaned in, across the round metal table, ducking into the shade of the umbrella and she could see his eyes glint behind his sunglasses. She’d told him about putting Eli’s baby clothes away and he said that she had a great kid, a happy, healthy kid.
“I should be grateful, I know. Trust me I am, it’s just that I grew up in a small family, okay? I’m an only child. Jonathan has one sister and she’s not having kids. I listen to you and your stories of how much fun you guys have and I want that.”
“My family is crazy and wild and we bicker over stupid shit all the time, but I love them.” He’d said it so fiercely, and she wanted that kind of fierceness in her own life. She remembered how his hand had squeezed hers tightly across the table. “Big families are great, but so are small ones. I want you to be safe, Az, always.”
Mal had listened to her tale as she listened to all the stories involving Ross—like a non-judgmental therapist. Az wished once more that her friend had had a chance to meet him—she needed an outside objective opinion. Remembering his words about his family, Azure had to admit that maybe his reason for marrying Dani was that desire for a family. Dani may not be the perfect woman for him, but unlike Azure, she could have kids. She scooped a chunk of ice cream and held it in front of her.
“You’re right. Eli is great. But now, Jonathan has a chance for more kids and...so does Ross. For all I know, the model girlfriend could be pregnant right now and that’s why he’s getting married.” She handed her the carton back. “You finish it. I’ve had enough. I think I’m going to be sick.”
A-2
“Azure, we hate to lose you.” Al Conway had shown up in her office. It was not something that happened often, or actually not at all. The operations officer was two echelons above Azure’s boss’s position in the company and she was pleased he thought enough to come down and speak with her. She’d been grooming Rachel for her position for a month without realizing it and the chance meeting in Omaha with Ross had made her own up to the fact that she needed a change. More of a change than she already had going on.
“Thank you Mr. Conway, it’s been a good run for me here at CTC, it really has.” Az fidgeted with the latest marketing brochures. “But Rachel is extremely good and I’m sure the transition will be seamless.”
“I hear we’re not losing you to another company, but a whole change of career? That’s a little drastic, don’t you think?” His eyebrows raised—wrinkling his brow all the way up to mid-pate where there was a smattering of hair. Azure put the brochures on her desk.
“It’s still event planning, just not at the corporate level, and weddings are big business these days. I need to spend more time at home.” She hoped he wasn’t going to go into the divorce thing. Having endured the wondering, and the too sympathetic looks for months, she was ready to move on. Even if her co-workers were not. Mr. Conway chuckled.
“Don’t I know it. My youngest got married two months ago, and my wife is still trying to recover from the hubbub of it all. Too bad we didn’t have you to help with it. Probably would have gone smoother.”
“Thank you, sir.” Az smiled, not knowing what else to say. Today was her last day and she felt like her face was frozen into a smile of thank yous, will miss you toos and keep in touches. There had been a cake and a present of a little bracelet and a set of black onyx earrings. Rachel had made a touching speech complete with tears. Both of them knew she’d most likely be leaving to Chicago soon to be with Ben, but she’d taken the promotion anyway.
Al Conway stepped forward, snapping his fingers like he remembered something vitally important. He pulled her old business card off her desk and handed it to her. “Write your new contact number on this. I’ll pass it on to my pal, Jerry Crocker. I think his niece is engaged and knowing his brother, he’ll drop several grand on a wedding without batting an eye.”
“Well, thanks, Mr. Conway.” She’d already done a few small weddings in the area, and was slowly building up a reputation, but much like her old business, good contacts were worth their weight in platinum.
It was Malinda who’d gotten her into doing weddings and they’d both found it slightly ironic that in the midst of Azure’s own divorce, she’d found a career in wedding planning. Mal’s friend had been getting married for the second time and simply losing it with all the details. Turned out, she just wanted a flunky—someone to give orders to. But she’d paid well for the privilege and Az had gone into her super-work mode—venues and menus and flowers and photogs were booked and ready within days. The woman had been so pleased she told another friend and then another and Azure Worth had weddings booked for the next two months. She’d found it very similar to event planning, but without the steady paycheck and none of the corporate politics. Weddings did have in-laws however, and they were almost as treacherous.
The Crocker/Hayes wedding in Vail was her first destination wedding. Sally Crocker and Brendan Hayes met on the slopes in Aspen. Both of them big time snowboarders, they took time out from their corporate lives to relive that vacation every year. Brendan was from Chicago, Sally from Joliet, Illinois. Azure hadn’t thought much about where they were from when she met them—Sally’s unc
le lived in Denver and the family vacationed in Colorado a lot. Both young people wanted a winter wedding at a ski resort. Not being the real outdoorsy type, the only ski resort Az had any experience with was Vail.
The couple loved its tiny streets and unique shops and the old-world feel of the place. The Hilton had beautiful views from their Lionshead ballroom and a large deck if the weather was agreeable. Adding flights and hotels to a wedding can compound it into a logistic nightmare, but Az was excited about doing it. Sally was one of the most helpful and agreeable brides to work with and she had excellent taste, picking out her colors and flowers far in advance and getting a guest list and table seating a week early was the absolute best Az could hope for.
Of course, most weddings do not go off without a hitch and this one had had its problems. The best man lost his luggage at the airport and they’d had to rent a tux in Vail. Aunt Tillie had a sudden fear of flying and had to take a last minute train. The older woman missed the wedding, but made a grand entrance at the reception. Az found herself talking the groom out of pre-wedding jitters and sobering up the best man.
But the vows were said, the weather cooperated and everything was going well. She was nursing her first glass of champagne at the reception when a familiar voice called her name.
Jack Issacson was walking toward her, a beautiful blond woman on his arm. She could never forget Ross’s college friend who loves martinis and Shakespeare with equal passion. They hadn’t seen each other all that often, and most of what she knew about Jack had come from Ross. The woman on his arm was about five months pregnant, a small but pronounced baby bump under her winter dress.
“Jack.” Az tilted her head upward and gave him a one-armed hug, genuinely glad to see him. She reached out to shake the woman’s hand. “I’m Azure Worth.”
There was a flash of surprised recognition in the woman’s eyes, but she recovered quickly.
“Sienna Isaacson. So nice to meet you.” Jack supplied an explanation for their appearance at a Vail wedding—Sienna being a first year associate at Brendan’s dad’s firm. He offered no explanation of how he knew Azure, however. More than likely, his wife figured she was a work colleague. Marketing was a close-knit career where networking was essential. They chatted about the wedding and what everyone who visits a ski resort talks about—the supply of fresh powder that morning. Jack fidgeted, seemingly distracted and Az wasn’t sure she wanted to talk to him privately. Fortunately, one of the staff had signaled her from the other side of the room and she could make her excuses and head for the kitchen. Unfortunately, Jack was persistent and caught up with her later.
“Az? You got a minute?” He was behind her as she surveyed the open bar, watching bar tenders hustle drinks. “Can I get you a drink?” His warm brown eyes, so different a brown than Jonathan’s, smiled at her from behind his wire rimmed glasses.
“I shouldn’t have another. I limit myself to one glass of champagne per wedding.”
“As I recall, you manage your liquor quite well.”
She smiled, remembering them having a few drinks during a convention or two, Jack quoting the Tempest, and Az asking him about his friend Ross.
“Two glasses won’t hurt,” he said. Before she could protest, he ordered and was pressing a glass into her hand. “You’ve done very well with the career change. This is fabulous.”
“Thanks. It’s much more fun than making big money for corporations. Just as hectic but, I—”
“Love the chaos?” He smiled. “Ross used to say that—about you. He liked doing what he did too, but you loved all the comings and goings and problem solving.” It was the first time anyone had mentioned Ross to her in months. Not even Malinda was talking about him anymore. She wondered if he noticed her stillness. That she froze at the mere speaking of his name. Jack paused for a brief second, not asking, but giving her a moment to collect herself. “Things at CTC just aren’t the same without you, you know?” He sipped his red wine.
“I’m sure they’re doing just fine. Rachel is very good.”
“I didn’t know you were gone until...I don’t know, two months ago maybe. We’ve been busy lately—the baby and all.”
“Congratulations again. I think you’ll be a great dad.” This was true, for all of Jack’s wildness and propensity to party, she could tell he adored Sienna. “You seem a little more settled.” He laughed.
“I’m exhausted. Sienna’s going on maternity leave soon and we just bought a new house in Oakwood. I’m working my ass off.”
“Aww, poor Jack. No more just showing up, giving advice and collecting the big bucks?”
“Oh no, I still do that. I just do a lot more of it.” They drank companionably for a while and Azure was glad that after that initial mention, he didn’t bring up the subject of Ross Berenger. He did ask how she was doing, how her family was and the second glass of champagne loosened her tongue enough to tell him about the divorce. If it got back to Ross, which she figured it would, it shouldn’t matter. Ross was married, maybe even with a kid of his own on the way.
“Oh, I’m so sorry.” Jack’s face was almost more than she could bear. His sadness was getting to her.
“It was amicable and for the best.” She paused, wanting to tell him that Eli and she were doing well, with a new place and a new school. The career was going splendidly, but she didn’t say any of it.
“You should have called him, Az.”
She’d laughed then, because the idea was absurd. Did he know about the phone messages she’d left? Too little, too late. Had Ross told him everything?
“I wasn’t free to, and then when I was...it was too late.” Her words were bitter as she put her empty glass on a passing tray. She watched as Jack finished his wine like he wanted to move on. She scanned the room for some sign of trouble she’d have to attend to, for some interruption. Everything was going well. “Calls don’t always get returned,” she said. “And I suppose that’s some form of answering.” He looked uncomfortable. “Look, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to bring you into it. It was my fault and it’s over and done.”
Jack shrugged. “I asked. I should go find my wife. She’ll be wanting to get off her feet.”
“Yes, and I need to check on the kitchen staff.”
“Always the problem solver huh?”
“For other people, anyway.” She turned to go, but didn’t step away. Something about the tragic look on his face when she’d said it was her fault stopped her. Maybe he really had wanted Ross and her to work out. “How is he?” She had to ask. After telling herself she didn’t want to know, she ended up asking anyway. Steeling herself for the answer, she found it was relatively painless.
“He’s good. He’s not on the circuit anymore. He’s writing a book. Self-help.”
Az brightened at this answer. She had long ago encouraged Ross to write his little memos and motivational words into a blog or journal of some kind. They’d had conversations about growing tired of making money for other people and doing something altruistic for the world. Ross had called it the saving the world syndrome. She had gotten out and planned weddings. Apparently, Ross had moved on as well.
“Good for him.” She smiled. Jack saluted her with his empty glass.
“It was good to see you, Az.”
Ross
A sleek hybrid car, not much leg room, but a stylish steel grey, pulled into the driveway of a bungalow style house. The driver emerged, blinking against the bright afternoon sun. Dressed in a polo shirt, canvas shorts and boat shoes, he crossed the lawn to his front door,. He carried reusable grocery bags from a high end natural food market and walked straight through the stark living room to the large kitchen in the back of the house. As he put groceries away, a woman’s voice called to him from outside and he followed it.
“Hey, don’t stay too long or you’re gonna burn.” The handsome man spoke from the shade of the doorway. Beyond the simmering concrete and tile, brilliant blue water rippled with the auto-cleaner whirring around the lap pool.
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br /> The woman didn’t look up from her lounger. Her face, shaded by a large hat and sunglasses, was buried in a magazine. Her glistening body was naked, exposed to the temperate air with the exception of three triangles of red material held together with black string.
“I’ve got SP 45 on. No worries.”
“What is the point of sunbathing, then?” The man asked.
“Because it’s October and I can.” Dani dropped the magazine just enough to see him. Her face looked the same and yet different, older, schooled into a professional smirk. The camera panned out to show the yard, the roof of the house and finally, the sprawl of Los Angeles.
Ross clicked the remote on his TV and sighed. He supposed she’d made it. An actual role in a series—a semi-regular on cable, but considering it was Hollywood, perhaps that was the definition of making it.
He pulled on his heavy pea coat and wound a soft warm scarf around his neck. Hard sleet pelted the windows of the same tiny apartment he’d re-signed the lease on. He packed his briefcase with the editor’s copy of his completed manuscript inside. He’d splurge on a cab to take him downtown. Since working on the book, he’d curtailed all his bookings to that of his main clients and had to manage his finances carefully till the book was out. Though they lived in the same building, both he and his neighbor, Leonard had to travel to Leonard’s publisher for this meeting. But this was the big one, the final editing of the book that had consumed him for the past five months. Ross reached out and straightened the Theolonius Monk poster above his computer desk and left the apartment. Minutes later, he came back in and pulled the best bottle of Pinot Noir he had from the wine cooler and slipped it into a travel bag. He was due at Jack and Sienna’s afterward for dinner.
----
“These days you have to book your own readings and book signings. The publishing business has changed, I guess.” Ross relaxed against the plush sectional in Jack and Sienna’s living room. Sienna, heavy into her eighth month of pregnancy came out of the kitchen with a coffee tray. Jack took the tray from her with a remark about it being too heavy. She rebuffed him, but her look was full of fondness as she poured cream from a pitcher shaped like a cow.