Grand Adventures

by Dawn Kimberly Johnson

  Eventually I was able to get my eyes to cooperate with my brain, and I scanned the rest of the bar, looking for my date. Last week my sister, Mia, had finally convinced me to go out on a blind date with the new tech-support guy at her office. I didn’t make it easy on her, though. I might have been single for a pathetically long time since my last boyfriend and I broke up, but I didn’t think I was a candidate for charity matchmaking quite yet.

  But after singing this new guy’s praises to me for about two weeks, Mia finally brought out the big guns and went for the guilt.

  “He’s new in town, Ade. He doesn’t have a lot of friends yet. And even if you don’t hit it off on a romantic level, you could at least maybe hang out with him a bit and introduce him around to your friends, make him feel welcome,” she’d said.

  I was waffling at that point, as she knew I would be. No one likes to feel alone in a strange town, and I wasn’t completely without sympathy.

  “Besides, he’s pretty hot,” she’d added with a wink and a smirk.

  And I said yes.

  Now, Mia tended to exaggerate, and she’d only said “pretty hot,” not “superhot” or “oh-my-God hot.” So that meant I was looking for a five on a scale of one to ten, just like me. Average height, average looks, glasses, and probably dressed in slacks and a polo—also like me—the ordinary guy’s date uniform. Most people tended to think a five was an insult somehow, as if anything below a seven was unattractive. But that’s never made any sense to me. I’m a math teacher, and I like to dabble in statistics sometimes. The scale is from one to ten, and it’s just not possible for everyone to be above average, because then it wouldn’t be the average anymore. Most of humanity falls smack-dab in the middle of a bell curve, and I honestly don’t know why people have such a problem with that. It seems perfectly logical and acceptable to me.

  By the time I’d spun in nearly a full circle, looking for my date, I began to conclude either he wasn’t here yet, or he wasn’t coming. I almost decided to just head for the bar to wait, but when I swung back in the direction of yoga-mat guy, I found him staring straight at me with a brilliant smile on his face… and a sinking feeling started in my stomach.

  “Adrian?” yoga-mat guy asked. “Are you Adrian Ford, Mia’s brother?”

  Oh no.

  “Uh… Brian Worthy?”

  The brilliant smile ratcheted up to dazzling. “Yeah, that’s me. So great to finally meet you. Your sister talks about you all the time,” he said as we shook hands.

  Apparently she didn’t spend enough time talking to me about you.

  “It’s, uh, great to meet you too,” I said lamely, trying not to let my dismay be too obvious.

  He squeezed my hand once more and let it go. But before I could come up with anything more brilliant to say—like a polite way to express my regrets and beat a hasty retreat—Brian’s attention shifted to something behind me, and he said, “Hey, I think I see an open table at the back. Why don’t we snag it before someone else does?”

  He moved off without waiting for a response, and I followed numbly behind him, no longer enjoying the view of his perfect shelf of an ass as much as I had earlier. My mind was too busy desperately trying to devise a means of telling Mr. Yoga-Mat Guy that he so was not my type, in a way that wouldn’t hurt his feelings or piss off my sister.

  As soon as we climbed into our bar stools at the tall, round little table, a server arrived, giving me some much-needed extra time to come up with something to say.

  “Hey, guys! What can I get you?”

  The smile Brian gave her was fully as brilliant as the one he’d bestowed upon me, and I felt a little of my panic ebb. Maybe he was just that enthusiastic to say hello to anyone. Maybe giving him the “let’s just be friends” speech wouldn’t be as painful as I feared.

  “Hi there. How about something you have on tap? Surprise me,” he said to the girl.

  Her smile got a little wider. “Okay. And you?” she said, turning to me.

  “I’ll, uh, have the same.”

  I didn’t really want to be there long enough to drink it, but I was caught in the trappings of politeness, and I was probably going to have to resign myself to not getting out of there anytime soon. Besides, Mia had asked me to make friends, no matter what, so the least I could do was that. I did curse her under my breath a couple of times, just to make myself feel better. I mean, the guy’s sandy blond hair was long enough for a ponytail, and he was wearing leather sandals, beaded bracelets, and an honest-to-God hemp necklace, for chrissakes. What was Mia thinking?

  “So, Mia tells me you’re a math teacher. Do you teach little kids or big ones?” Brian asked into the awkward silence that fell between us after the server left.

  “Middle schoolers, actually.”

  “That must be really rewarding, all those kids right on the cusp of discovering who they are and what they’re drawn to, waiting to bloom.”

  I smiled despite my discomfort. “Yeah, it is. My subject might not be the most popular in school. But every once in a while, a kid will come along who really gets it and loves it. That makes dealing with the rest worthwhile.”

  He nodded encouragingly. “That sounds awesome—food for the soul.”

  The server came back with our beers, and I was saved from making any comment on that, like the fact that I didn’t actually believe in the concept of a soul or anything to do with religion whatsoever, clearly illustrating why Brian and I would not be romantically compatible.

  When she left, I said, “So, I thought Mia told me you were tech support or their office computer guru or something.”

  Brian set his beer down after taking a big sip. He licked his lips and made a few appreciative noises that went straight to a lower portion of my anatomy.

  I will be the first to admit my cock and I don’t always agree on what my type is.

  “I am,” he answered. “But I moonlight as a yoga instructor, hence the clothes and the mat. I’m sorry about that, by the way. I was going to go home and change after work, but one of the instructors at the club called in, and she asked me to take her class. I didn’t have time to get home before I went, or I would’ve been late, and this is all I had clean in my bag.”

  “It’s no biggie. I just thought Mia said something about you having glasses, so I didn’t know it was you when I followed you in here.”

  His smile hadn’t dimmed much in the time we’d been talking, but I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. He really was a very attractive man. I probably would have to give him at least a seven on the scale, if not more. It was almost a shame he wasn’t my type.

  “I do have glasses, but I only wear them at work. They help with the glare and staring at monitors all day. I don’t really need them out and about.”

  I nodded and took a sip of my beer. “So you teach yoga. That’s kind of unusual.”

  “Is it? I hadn’t really thought about it that way. I’ve done yoga for years, but I discovered teaching helps me wind down and align my chakras after a stressful day helping the terminally technologically challenged at work.” He laughed and shrugged. “It gets me centered again.”

  “Ah.” I had no idea how to respond to that, and the conversation died for a little bit as we both drank our beers. I was painfully uncomfortable. Brian seemed like a really nice guy, and I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. But there was no way he and I would have enough in common to form a lasting relationship, and I didn’t date a guy unless I thought that possibility was there.

  Of course, Brian might be thinking the exact same thing as me, that I wasn’t anywhere near his type either. It wouldn’t have surprised me at all, given how hot he was. He might just have been better at hiding his feelings than I was.

  As the silence stretched, I found myself unable to hold his gaze. So instead, I took the coward’s way out and let my eyes wander around the bar, hoping some epiphany would come to me and I could smoothly move the conversation toward its inevitable conclusion. Instead, what
I found were several guys eyeing Brian pretty brazenly, and for some inexplicable reason I was offended by that.

  How dare they ogle my date when I’m sitting right here?

  Bitches better back off.

  Wait. What?

  “Hey, Adrian? Is everything okay?” Brian drew me back from la-la land before my lizard brain could go totally off the reservation.

  “Yeah, sorry.”

  Brian looked at me with concern in his pretty hazel eyes. “Are you sure? You seem a little tense.”

  I did a purely internal eye roll, disgusted with myself. This was stupid. We were both adults. There was no reason for me to be wigging out like this. Brian probably wouldn’t even care anyway. If I was just honest, we could get down to the “let’s just be friends” part, and that would be that.

  I took a deep breath in and let it out. “Look, I know Mia kind of set this up as a blind date sort of thing, and I don’t want this to sound bad, but you’re not… exactly the kind of guy I typically date.”

  There, that wasn’t too terrible, right?

  Brian’s face fell a little, but he didn’t really look hurt or mad. If I had to pick a word to describe his expression, I guess it would be “bemused.”

  “Okay? So I’m going to hazard a guess that ‘not your typical kind’ is a bad thing, then, right?”

  “It’s not a bad thing, exactly.” Apparently, Brian had no intention of making this easy on me. “I just have a certain type of guy I prefer to date, that’s all.”

  “And what kind is that?”

  I groaned. “I don’t know. Average, I guess. Like me, steady, ordinary, analytical, dependable, maybe just a little reserved.”

  Spelling it out like that made it sound a hell of a lot more boring than I thought it would, but I was trying to be nice, so I picked words I hoped wouldn’t offend him.

  I shrugged and grimaced just a little when I finished, but Brian still looked more curious than mad, so I suppose I succeeded to some extent.

  “And you only date one kind of guy? Ever?” he asked.

  “Well… yeah,” I replied a little defensively.

  It sounded stupid when he said it.

  Brian’s smile grew. “So, let me guess. You don’t like surprise parties or roller coasters either.”

  How the hell did he know that?

  “Uh….”

  Brian was positively grinning when he leaned forward and asked, “Since you’ve decided I’m not your kind of guy, what kind of guy do you think I am?”

  Well, shit. I knew I was going to get myself in trouble. I am so not good at this.

  “You know. You’re a… ‘free spirit.’” I actually used finger quotes there, and I felt like as much of an idiot as I probably looked. “Like you said, with your chakras and your centering, good vibes and karma and all that. “

  He laughed out loud, and I suppose that was a positive sign even if it didn’t make me feel any better. “And I guess that means you think those are ‘bad’ things.”

  He did the finger quotes right back at me on the word bad and I cringed. “Oh no! No. I’m not putting it down.” I was floundering, and he seemed to be enjoying it immensely. “It’s just not my kind of thing. I’m an atheist… numbers and science. You know, things you can see and touch and taste and smell, results that can be proven and replicated. Gods and crystals and meditating and all that stuff just aren’t me. That’s all.”

  Brian leaned back in his seat and shrugged, his face sobering just a little. “You don’t have to believe in God or any of that to be a spiritual person. And you certainly don’t have to believe in any of it to date someone who does. I don’t expect my friends to share all of my beliefs.”

  “Oh, I know. I just….”

  Interpersonal communication wasn’t exactly my strong suit to begin with, but I was usually a little better than this.

  Finally, it seemed like Brian was ready to cut me a break, because he chuckled. He studied my face while he took a long pull from his beer, and eventually he seemed to come to a decision. I was surprised at how anxious I felt to hear what it was.

  “It’s okay, Adrian. Don’t worry. Let me ask you one more question, and then I promise, I’ll stop giving you a hard time.”

  Oh thank God.

  Yes, I’m an atheist. But I can use the Lord’s name in vain if I want to.

  “Shoot,” I said with more confidence than I felt.

  He smiled that gorgeous smile at me and leaned forward again, bracing his forearms on the table. “Do you find me attractive?”

  I choked on the swallow of beer I had just put in my mouth and almost sprayed it all over his pretty, smiling face. “What?” I coughed out.

  “Do you, Adrian, find me, Brian, at all attractive?”

  I spluttered a little bit more before I said, “Well… yeah. You’re….” I flailed a hand, sweeping him from head to toe. “You’re obviously a good-looking man. Ask half the guys in here who’ve been checking you out since we sat down.”

  Brian’s gaze never wavered from my face as he said, “I’m not asking them. I’m asking you.”

  “Yes. Okay? Yes, I’m attracted to you.”

  His smile was brilliant. “Good. Me too.”

  I was feeling a little disgruntled, to say the least, so I went a little snarky on him. “You think you’re attractive too? How nice for you both.”

  Brian threw his head back and laughed. “You know what I meant. I find you attractive too, very much so.”

  His voice dropped an octave as he said that, and a little shiver ran down my spine. “Why?” I asked before my brain caught up with my mouth.

  He didn’t seem fazed by the question, but his grin did turn a little mischievous as he said, “Well, I’d say it was your aura, a vibe I got from the second I met you. But I suppose that wouldn’t go over very well.” He laughed again at the expression on my face and shook his head. “How about if I go a little more mundane and say you have a sweet smile and very nice eyes behind those glasses? Or, if that’s not empirical enough, how about a combination of facial and body symmetry, verbal and nonverbal communication, coupled with a positive subconscious reaction to your pheromones? Does that work?”

  “You think I have nice eyes?”

  The look on his face after I blurted that out said he thought I was just adorable—irritating, but adorable. My masculine pride probably should have been offended, but I was still kind of riding high on the “nice eyes” comment, so I let it slide.

  “Yes, I do,” he replied. He sighed and glanced around. “Look, it’s getting a little loud in here. Why don’t we take a walk?”

  As if I was finally released from some sort of spell, the noise of the crowded bar came rushing in on me, and I blinked in surprise. I hadn’t even noticed how many people had come in since we’d been talking.

  Brian didn’t give me time to make any excuses. He stood up, threw a twenty on the table, slung his yoga mat over his shoulder, and moved next to my chair, obviously waiting for me to stand up. When I did, he smiled and set off for the door with me in tow.

  I figured outside would be one step closer to my car anyway, so why the hell not?

  As I followed Brian’s gorgeous ass through the crowd, something odd caught my attention. I swear, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a naked blonde with a duck under her arm go past us. I must have been hallucinating, because when I stopped in my tracks and did a double take, I realized the woman wasn’t actually naked. She was in a beige dress so tight it left little to the imagination, but she was still clothed. And the “duck” was just a big white leather purse with a short strap, resting in the crook of her arm.

  Maybe I needed a new prescription for my glasses.

  Brian was waiting for me outside, and when I caught up to him, he simply smiled at me encouragingly and then headed toward the beach. He didn’t say much as we walked, seeming happy to enjoy the fresh air. Even though the sun was going down and there was a strong breeze coming off the ocean, it was still comfo
rtably warm, and I was content to let the silence hang between us as well.

  I walked with him, but I lagged just a little behind on purpose. He was a pleasure to watch, no matter what I thought of our compatibility… and not just his ass or his handsome face, either. There was something very calm and serene about the man, something in the way he moved and watched the world around him, like he was comfortable and settled in his skin. It occurred to me that Brian probably would have called it centered, and that made me smile. But whatever it was, I was jealous.

  Don’t get me wrong. As a general rule, I’m a pretty calm and collected kind of guy. I teach math to rooms full of hormonal teenagers every day. I have to be calm, or I’d end up with a heart attack by age fifty. But I’m only like that inside my comfort zones, in carefully constructed and controlled environments like my classroom and my house. I had the feeling Brian was like this everywhere, unflappable, and I couldn’t help but admire that about him. He was very peaceful to be around.

  By the time we reached the end of the pier, the walk had calmed my anxiety enough that I wasn’t in so much of a hurry to go home anymore. I didn’t know if I was ready to admit I could be wrong about my only dating one kind of guy rule. But I was comfortable spending time with him and a little less embarrassed about our earlier conversation. So when Brian rested his arms on the railing and gazed out at the setting sun, I happily mirrored his pose.

  “Look at that,” Brian said in a quiet, awed voice. “Look how beautiful that is.”

  I’d been dividing my attention between Brian and the sunset, and I had to agree. But before he could catch me staring, I turned my full attention out across the water and watched as the sun touched the horizon. It really was stunning. The sky was painted in pinks and oranges. A few puffy clouds blazed brightly as they were lit from underneath. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d just stood and watched the sunset. And I was so entranced by it I didn’t even notice Brian had moved until his warm hands settled gently on my shoulders.