Trust I Seek

by Laura Gates

  Kade looked utterly blown away by the words, whereas Rick looked a little confused. "They're awesome, but what do they mean?" he asked.

  "I'm done being afraid of abandonment as well as the grandiose rock star lifestyle we've lived in the past. Plus, you guys, we've been playing together for so long with so many memories. The three of you are my family, and I am thankful I have each of you in my life. Sorry if it's sappy, but it's the truth," Beau concluded.

  Luke lightly smiled, walked up to Beau, and put his hand on Beau's shoulder. "I'm thankful you answered my ad in the newspaper all those years ago because I would not have gained a brother like you," Luke said before turning to Kade, "or you," and turning to Rick, "or you." The four of them huddled together just like they always did before a show. "Let's do this! Let's finish this record!" Luke shouted as well as adding some profanity. "YEAH!" Beau shouted his signature battle cry.

  Chapter 11

  Halloween

  Halloween approached extremely fast. Beau knew it was Kade's favorite time of year with his annual Halloween party whether they were on tour or not. Beau remembered how much Kade loved all things horror, and how big Halloween night was to him. Beau RSVP'd yes to the party, but was still clueless as to what to be. He decided to be a SWAT guy with a skull mask like the previous year. He liked to call himself the "Creeping Death" after their song. He really liked that costume. Plus, it reminded him of the last Halloween when Phoebe and the kids were alive. Two days before Halloween, Beau went to the garage where Phoebe kept past Halloween costumes and found his costume from last year. He pulled it out and took it up to his room.

  That same day, Evie took her kids over to the Hansen's house so that they could play, and Evie and Laila sat and talked. "Are you coming to the party?" Laila asked. "I've been working so much, I haven't had time to look for a costume," Evie said. "Well, you've come to the right place. I have so many Halloween costumes. You can borrow one," Laila said, smiling.

  "Thanks, but I don't know who would watch the kids," Evie said again. "Luke, Rick, and Beau trade off watching the kids each year. It's Luke and Jetta's turn this year," Laila said. "I guess I'm not getting out of this?" Evie asked. Laila smiled. "It's your first year with us. Of course not. We need you here," Laila said.

  Evie sighed, feeling defeated, but smiled. Laila always pushed Evie out of her comfort zone, much like her best friend from college. She figured that's why they got along so well. "Fine. What do you suggest I wear?" Evie asked. "Well, follow me. Let's see what we have," Laila said, standing up off of the couch and walking downstairs to the basement. Evie followed her into a huge media room overlooking a huge backyard with a view of the bay.

  Horror memorabilia hung all over the walls and sat on the shelves. "Wow, I knew Kade was obsessed with horror movies, but his collection is massive," Evie said, looking around the room. "Yeah. It creeps me out a little that his mom put him in front of all these movies, but I can understand why he likes them so much," Laila said, opening a door, looking inside, and closing the door. "Why?" Evie asked, still not understanding. "Well, look at the artwork and intricacy of the Creature statue," Laila said. Evie glanced over at the bust of the Creature from the Black Lagoon. She looked at it more closely, and indeed, the bust was very intricate. "Ah, I see it now," Evie said.

  Laila walked into another room as Evie continued to walk around the basement, looking at Kade's collection. "So, what do you like to dress up for on Halloween?" Laila shouted from the room. "I don't know. The last time I dressed up for Halloween was before Levi was born. After that, Jude began going to company Halloween parties while I stayed home with Levi and Harper when she was born. I took them Trick-or-Treating last year dressed in normal clothes. My Halloweens consisted of large Toblerone bars and watching Jaws. I'm lame," Evie said.

  Laila laughed. "Why would your ex-husband leave you alone with the kids?"

  "He said he had company events he needed to go to, but I think that was code for sleeping with other girls. I'm seeing a pattern in his behavior, now as well as bank account history," Evie said.

  Laila pitied the poor girl. "Well, let's get you back into the swing of things. Come on in. I think I have some good contenders," she shouted back to Evie. Evie followed Laila's voice into the room

  There were racks and racks of Halloween costumes all over the place. There were scary costumes, provocative costumes, furry costumes, masquerade costumes, and just about all the costumes a person could imagine for men and women. Evie picked her jaw up off the floor. "All right, so I am thinking something sexy but understated for you," Laila said. "Like what?" Evie asked. Laila walked over to one of the sexy costume racks and began digging. Finally, she pulled out a red strapless dress with a high slit and a deep v-neckline.

  "So, you want me to be Jessica Rabbit?" Evie asked. Laila smiled and nodded. "Not only 'no,' but 'hell no,'" Evie said. Laila put it back on the rack. "Fine. I just want you to feel confident, maybe attract some handsome men," Laila said. "Not in that thing. I don't want to attract douchebags. A dress like that got me into the situation I'm in now. Not a chance," Evie said.

  Laila began digging again. "What about this?" Laila said, pulling out a blue plaid skirt with a white oxford shirt, a silver ribbon, and a black cardigan.

  "A Catholic schoolgirl?" Evie asked.

  "No, a Ravenclaw," Laila said, "there is no crucifix. The skirt comes to just above the knees, and the cardigan has the Ravenclaw seal on it. Plus, the whole Britney Spears thing," Laila said with a chuckle.

  "I was thinking about saying yes until you referenced Britney Spears," Evie said.

  "C'mon. I believe this will get the right reaction," Laila said.

  "What do you mean?" Evie asked.

  "From a potential gentleman caller," Laila said.

  "I'm not looking to get any attention from any guy. I would much rather wear one of those furry onesies that blend into your couch," Evie said.

  "Oh, come on! It's been months since you had any attention from a guy. Live a little," Laila said.

  More like years, Evie thought to herself before saying, "Who's attention are you hoping I grab anyways?"

  "Just a couple of guys," Laila said with only one in mind. She knew something was going on between Beau and Evie, and she was hoping to give a little push with a fantasy she knew Beau and the rest of the band had at some point in their lives.

  Evie rolled her eyes. "Fine, I will wear it, but never mention Britney to me again," Evie said.

  "Won't happen," Laila said, holding up the costume. Evie grabbed the hanger.

  "We actually have a fitting room over there," Laila pointed to the corner. Evie walked into the fitting room and began to try on the costume. The costume ended up fitting pretty well. Evie had some black knee-highs she could wear as well as some Dr. Martens. Evie walked out of the fitting room to show Laila. "Yep, it does do the trick," Laila said, smiling. "Oh, goody," Evie said, rolling her eyes.

  The day of the Halloween Party arrived. Evie dropped her kids off at the Jeppsen's'. "Thank you again for watching my kids," Evie said to Jetta and Luke. "No problem. We have done this for years," Luke said. He was looking at Evie's costume. "Catholic schoolgirl?" he asked, pointing at Evie. "No, a Ravenclaw. Watch Harry Potter," Evie said.

  "That will get his attention," Jetta said, walking back to the foyer.

  "Whose attention?" Evie asked.

  "B…." Jetta stopped before finishing Beau’s name.

  "Just this guy we know who will be at the party," Jetta said. She was in on the plan with Laila.

  "His name starts with a B…?" Evie felt very confused.

  "Yes, B-ryan," Jetta finished.

  "Who is Bryan?" Evie asked.

  "Yeah, who is Bryan?" Luke asked.

  Jetta rolled her eyes at Luke. "A guy Laila and I know who we thought would like to meet you. I think you would like him."

  Luke looked at his wife with a confused look. Jetta looked at him, smiled, and looked back at Evie, still smiling. "Okay,
I will keep my eyes open for a Bryan," Evie said, "you guys are creeping me out. Please don't give them too much candy or anything French, please." Jetta sighed and looked flabbergasted.

  As Evie walked out the door, Jetta grabbed her phone. "Great, now I need to text Laila," she said.

  "Why?"

  "To introduce Evie to a Bryan. I don't know a Bryan. Do you?" Jetta asked.

  "Brian Johnson, but Evie might be a little out of his league," Luke said.

  "I meant another Bryan who is possibly some sort of an intellect,'" Jetta said.

  "What about Beau?" Luke said.

  "We can't tell Evie that.... You know what? Just leave it to the women to meddle in their friend's life," Jetta concluded.

  "Whatever you say, Babe," Luke agreed.

  At the party, Beau avoided the booze table. Kade made sure there was sparkling water, soda, sparkling cider, and plenty of bottled water to help Beau feel like he had options. Kade also invited other straight-edge musicians to ensure all of his drinks were consumed. "Your costume is pretty awesome," Beau said to Kade, who was dressed like an undead version of himself. "Thanks. I like that you wore last year's costume. It's a good one," Kade said. "Thanks," Beau smiled.

  Beau mingled with other musicians he hadn't seen in a while including Don. They got along pretty well now since Don started his own metal band and became very successful with it. He soon ran into Axl, Brian, Slash, Tom, Ian, and his friend, Jon, the comedian. Every now and then, he would look around the room and backyard, hoping to see Evie, but she was not there yet. They had talked the day before, and both were going to the event.

  It was an hour into the party, and Beau was standing by the pool talking with Brian Johnson about upcoming studio albums when Evie walked outside. Her hair was wavy, and she wore a blue mini plaid skirt, a white shirt with a slight deep v-neck, a black sweater with a seal on her right side, and a silver ribbon wrapped around her neck. She wore knee-high black socks and Dr. Marten's as well as some glasses. Her costume was just how Beau pictured her when she was in high school because he knew she was a beautiful honor student with a wicked girl edge, much like the Catholic School Girl stereotype.

  Beau watched as she walked up to Laila, who was dressed as Morticia from the Addams' Family. They admired each other's costumes and continued to talk. Soon, Laila grabbed a guy dressed as the snobby king of France during the sixteenth century by the sleeve and pulled him to Evie. Laila introduced them and walked away.

  Beau began living another Hell he hoped never to see. The two of them started talking and laughing as the snobby French king sipped his booze, and she chugged on a bottle of water. Beau so badly wanted to find his drink of choice, Jagermeister, to help him cope, but he resisted. He finally walked inside the house into the basement bathroom.

  Beau splashed water on his face. She's not yours, he thought to himself. Really, he replied to himself, who else has been spending the night on her couch, talking about life, and helping her take care of her kids? The behemoth part inside of him was awakened without the Jagermeister, and he soon stormed out of the bathroom. Rick and Kade saw Beau walking towards someone huffing and puffing and stopped him. They knew him well enough to know what that behavior meant. "What are you doing, man?" Kade said, trying to push Beau back. "A snotty guy is talking to Evie," Beau huffed. "Have you had a drink?" Kade asked, trying to smell Beau's breath. "What?! No! I've been drinking water all night," Beau said in disbelief.

  "So, you're mad because a girl you like and employ but aren't dating is talking to another guy?" Rick asked.

  "She's not just a girl I like. She's way more than that," Beau huffed again.

  "Dude, tread lightly," Rick said.

  "What are you saying?" Beau asked.

  "Yes, we're all rooting for you two, but she needs you to be a friend first, and if she starts dating another guy, don't get all huffy and puffy about it," Kade said, "this could be a good thing for her considering all she's been through."

  "You don't know what she's been through. I don't even know all of what she's been through, but I certainly want to be around to find out," Beau said, beginning to push against Kade.

  Even though Beau was four inches taller than him, Rick was stronger, and he began to restrain Beau as well. "Dude, let her be. Don't ruin this. She's the best manager we've ever had. If you are truly her best friend, she will come find you," Rick concluded. Beau stopped and began scanning the crowd looking for Evie again. She was nowhere to be found or the snobby French king. Beau felt defeated, walked back inside, and sat down on the sectional facing the open doors to the basement. He began sipping on a soda.

  Evie soon walked in through the doors spotting Beau on the couch. "Hey! I've been looking for you! What kind of a SWAT guy are you supposed to be?" she asked. Hearing her voice surprised Beau. "I'm supposed to be 'Creeping Death.’ You know, like our song," Beau said, smiling. Evie sat down on the couch next to Beau. "I like it," she said, smiling. Beau lightly smiled back after drinking his soda. "Catholic schoolgirl?" he asked, pointing at her. "A Ravenclaw,” she said, showing the eagle crest from the movie. "Oh, didn’t know you were a Harry Potter fan," Beau said. "I am. I dressed up as Professor McGonagal during the premier of the last movie," she said. Hot nerd, Beau thought to himself.

  "So, who was that guy dressed like that sixteenth-century king of France you were talking to?" Beau asked.

  "Are you talking about the guy dressed like Louis XIV?" Evie asked.

  "I knew his name would be snotty."

  "Well, his actual name is Bryan."

  "So, did he ask you out, or…?" Beau asked.

  "He tried, but I started talking about my kids. I had taken them Trick-or-Treating earlier, and I wondered if Luke and Jetta let them have too much candy because I knew everyone would be cranky tomorrow. He soon lost interest and walked away looking for the girl dressed like Lady Godiva, but that's okay. He wasn't really my type anyway," Evie said.

  Beau let out a massive sigh of relief. Now he felt like he could be the best friend. He hated being the jealous guy. It got him in trouble a lot during the early days of Death Toll.

  "Sorry to hear that," he said.

  "It's okay. He kept going on and on about his Harley collection, anyways. I mean, I'm a girl who loves motorcycles and classic cars, but if that's all you're going to talk about, then bye-bye. The right guy will be willing to listen to my stories, worries, and complaints about my kids," Evie said. Beau smiled.

  "Yes, he will," he said. He already does, Beau thought to himself, because I'M THE GUY! "Plus, I can just show you mine," he said, not realizing the alluring tone in his voice.

  "Are you hitting on me?" Evie asked, grabbing his soda and taking a sniff.

  "No," Beau responded quickly grabbing his drink from her, "I'm just simply stating a fact."

  "By far, yours is the best collection I have seen. It's better than going to a car show with my dad," Evie said, smiling.

  "So," Beau said, trying to change the subject, "what do you normally do on Halloween?" he asked.

  "Eat a ton of Toblerone and watch Jaws," Evie said. "Really? Jaws?" Beau asked.

  "It's a classic thriller," Evie said.

  "I know that, but it's not that scary," Beau said.

  "I'm not one for horror movies. I will only ever watch Young Frankenstein, Dark Shadows, or even The Mummy movies besides the Jaws series," Evie finished.

  "Did Jude ever watch the movies with you?" he asked.

  "No. He was too busy with company parties, or as I've discovered, cheating on me with various secretaries," Evie said.

  "How does he still have a job?" Beau asked.

  "He is highly respected in Baltimore, paid people off to keep quiet, that sort of thing," Evie said.

  "How did you find all this out?" he asked again.

  "Looking at past bank statements and my excellent problem-solving skills," Evie said.

  "Would he at least come home and want to…?" Beau paused, thinking about what it would be
like himself with Evie.

  "No. He always claimed to be tired. I wore a very slutty bustier one year, and nothing. After that, I quit trying. I would fall asleep in bed wearing a huge tee shirt before he got home surrounded by Toblerone wrappers," Evie said.

  "Sorry Halloween has been lame for you in the past," he said, picturing Evie in that bustier. There’s always tonight, he thought to himself.

  "It's okay. I enjoy watching Jaws and eating enormous amounts of Swiss chocolate," Evie giggled. Beau laughed, Witty, smart, and sexy. You really are the whole package.

  "So, what did you do last year for Halloween? Were you here or was it your turn to watch all the kids?" Evie asked.

  "I was here," Beau said, "I wore this costume, and Phoebe was a sexy cop."

  "Did you guys always match?" Evie asked.

  "Most of the time. Sometimes, we would do our own thing, but not often."

  "Did you take the kids Trick-or-Treating?"

  "Yes we did, and we were in our costumes as well," Beau chuckled.

  "I bet that was a sight having you show up on the doorstep of your neighbors with your family," Evie giggled.

  "I don't know what they thought. Even though we bought a huge house for my collection, we still tried to live as normally as possible. Phoebe cooked all our meals, cleaned all the bathrooms we used, made our bed, and did the laundry most of the time. She took our kids to the library, arcade, the park, children's museum, taught them how to clean their rooms and do the laundry, and a bunch of other stuff. We wanted our kids to have as normal of a life as possible," Beau concluded.

  "So, she was preparing them to be adults…?" Evie tapered off when she realized what she was saying. Beau winced when he thought about his children never getting that opportunity.

  "Beau, I am so sorry," she apologized.