The Gamble

by Kristen Ashley

  “No… no… no point!” she yelled, staring at him with wide eyes.

  “Mom, what on earth is happening?” I asked but before Mom could answer, Dad spoke.

  “Nina, good God, aren’t you even going to say a single word to your fiancé?”

  I glared at my father then I looked to Niles and tried to rearrange my features into something a little less angry and a lot more sensitive.

  “Hello Niles,” I greeted softly.

  Niles’s eyes had moved from Max to Max’s hand clasping mine and he’d grown pale.

  Then he looked at me and stated, “I don’t understand.”

  I blinked at him, not understanding what he didn’t understand.

  “I’m sorry?” I asked.

  “I don’t…” His eyes went back to our hands and then came to my face. “What’s happening?”

  I felt Max tense beside me but I was still blinking at Niles.

  “What’s happening?” I repeated.

  “This is… you’re standing there holding hands with another man,” Niles replied.

  I pulled in a breath as the guilt hit me, harder this time, I gave a tug at my hand but Max held firm so I stopped tugging and said softly, “I know, I’m sorry, this must be shocking, it’s –”

  “How did you taking a holiday in the Rocky Mountains translate to you standing across from me, a week after you left, holding hands with another man?” Niles asked, his eyes had gone narrow and color had suffused his face.

  “I wasn’t on holiday in the mountains, Niles,” I reminded him gently. “I was taking a timeout.”

  “Timeout from work,” Niles said instantly.

  “Timeout from you,” I said back, “from us. I told you that, I don’t know how many times.”

  Niles’s head tilted to the side and he retorted, “I don’t even understand what that means. I didn’t then and I don’t now.”

  “Then you should have asked me when I explained it to you, told me you didn’t understand.”

  “I didn’t think it was worth discussing and I certainly didn’t think it would mean it would lead to this.”

  He didn’t think it was worth discussing?

  Now it was me who I suspected looked like I’d been punched in the stomach.

  I let that go, it wasn’t easy but I did it and instead, asked, “Did you read my e-mail?”

  “I scanned it, I didn’t have time –”

  Max got even tenser at my side but I was concentrating on the fact that I was getting tense too. Very tense. Ultra tense.

  “You scanned it?” I asked quietly but I wasn’t being quiet in an effort to be gentle. I was being quiet in an effort to control my temper.

  “Nina, things are busy at work, you know that, that’s why I couldn’t come with you on your holiday,” Niles replied, sounding like he was getting irritated though only mildly so.

  “Niles, I didn’t ask you to come with me. The whole point of a timeout is to be apart so you can think about whether or not you want to be together. I explained that to you.”

  “That’s ridiculous,” Niles returned and that dangerous film of red that boded bad things started to coat my vision.

  “Fuckin’ hell,” Max muttered while I concentrated on trying to clear my vision so I didn’t end up screeching like my mother.

  “You can stay out of it.” My father entered the conversation by speaking to Max.

  “Sorry, Larry, I’m in it,” Max shot back and if things weren’t going so very, very poorly I might have laughed. Dad hated to be called Larry, hated it.

  “And who are you?” Niles asked, scowling at Max.

  “I’m Holden Maxwell,” Max answered immediately, in other words before I could. “I own the house Nina rented. There was a mix up, I had to be in town on personal business and Slim didn’t tell Nina. She showed up at the house and I was there. Lucky I was. She was sick as a dog, lapsed into a fever so bad she was delirious for two days and I was worried I’d have to take her to the hospital. The fever broke and since then things have advanced between us. We’ve gotten to know each other, we both like what we know and, bottom line, you didn’t take care of what was yours. Now, as Nina has explained, you’ve lost it, I found it and it’s mine.”

  As usual, Max didn’t mince words and Niles was now scowling at him but doing it with his mouth hanging open.

  Max ignored Niles’s scowl and, his head swinging between me, Mom and Steve, he asked, “We done here?”

  I heard Steve chuckle.

  However, Mom declared, “I’m not done.”

  “Yeah you are, sweetheart,” Steve said, pulling her back a couple of feet.

  “I’m not done, either,” Dad stated and finally stood.

  “You got nothin’ to say. Far’s I can see, this ain’t your business,” Max told him.

  “She’s my daughter,” Dad declared.

  “You fathered her but that doesn’t make her your daughter,” Max retorted and Dad’s face got red.

  “As far as I can see, this isn’t any of your business either,” Dad returned.

  “Then seems to me you aren’t seein’ very well,” Max replied.

  Dad didn’t continue because Niles spoke.

  “I lost it and you found it and now it is yours?” Niles asked Max and Max looked to Niles.

  “That’s what I said,” Max answered.

  I decided to wade in. “Niles, please, listen to me –”

  “This is unbelievable,” Niles snapped at me, definitely mildly irritated, maybe even more than that though that surprised me. I’d never heard him snap, not in all the years I’d known him. “I heard his voice over the phone and I couldn’t believe it, not even after Lawrence told me what was happening. I’m standing here looking at you now and I still can’t believe it.”

  My patience waning, I explained, “I’m uncertain what you can’t believe since things haven’t been good between us for awhile, a long while, Niles. And I told you I was taking two weeks to think about our relationship. Then I wrote you an e-mail which, incidentally, it took me two hours to write, explaining we weren’t going to work and all the reasons why. Then I phoned you and told you we were over.”

  “Perhaps, if you were feeling this way you could have spoken to me, face to face, not in an e-mail or over the phone,” Niles suggested patronizingly. “And you wouldn’t be acting like your mother, performing this drama which forced me to leave work and fly halfway around the world.”

  That red film came back, this time with blinding white flashes, the anger so strong, pent up so long, I had to speak through my teeth in order not to scream.

  “If you’ll remember, Niles, I did. I spoke with you about Charlie’s house and how I didn’t want to leave it and you didn’t listen. I spoke with you about how I was feeling about us, how I felt lonely even when I was with you and you didn’t listen. I spoke to you about how my father wasn’t a part of my life and here he stands.” Like my mother, I swept my arm out to indicate my father but I didn’t take my eyes from Niles as I continued. “I spoke with you about the fact we haven’t been intimate, not in months and months and how that concerned me but you didn’t seem to care.”

  At these words, I felt Max’s hand convulse in mine but I ignored it and kept right on talking.

  “I spoke to you about how all the times I spoke to you about all these things – and there have been lots of times I’ve spoken to you about all these things, Niles – I spoke with you about how that bothered me deeply. And I spoke with you about how it upset me nothing ever seemed to get through, no matter what it meant to me, how important it was. And, finally, I explained exactly what a timeout meant, hoping maybe you wouldn’t want me to go that maybe, in the end, you’d do something to save us, to show me you cared. But off I went and you didn’t even phone to see if I got here safely which, in the end, I did but, being as sick as I was, I actually didn’t.”

  “And I explained, when you spoke to me about all these things, such as you holding onto Charlie’s house, th
at you needed to let them go and move on with your life and you agreed,” Niles responded.

  “I agreed?” I asked, the confusion back, mingling with the anger.

  “You’re wearing my ring,” Niles declared.

  I stared at him a moment, thrown, not comprehending how my accepting his ring meant I agreed with him about anything. Then in order to get this done and get the heck out of there, I nodded and stuck my hand in my pocket.

  “I’m glad you mentioned that,” I said, pulling out the ring, leaning forward and putting it on the table. “You can have it back.”

  “I can have it back?” Niles asked, incredulous, his eyes moving back and forth between me and the ring so fast I feared he’d give himself a seizure.

  “Niles, for the last time, please hear me. We don’t work. It’s over.”

  Niles stared at me a second, his eyes getting cold in a way I’d never seen before, in a way that made my blood chill, in a way that Shauna wished she could go cold then he looked to Max and stated bizarrely, “I’ll double his offer.”

  At this strange turn of the conversation, I was back to blinking but this time also shaking my head a little.

  Max, however, didn’t seem confused by Niles’s words. Niles’s words made Max go from annoyed to angry. I knew it because I felt it.

  “Seriously?” Max asked disbelievingly.

  “What offer?” I queried but Niles and Max ignored me.

  “Double, take it,” Niles’s eyes swept Max from head to toe then went back to his face. “Undoubtedly you can use it.”

  “What offer?” I repeated.

  “Go to hell,” Max bit out.

  “Triple,” Niles threw out instantly.

  “I always liked you, not much, but I liked you,” Mom hissed at Niles, also clearly not surprised at this turn in the exchange. “Now, your true colors shining through, I don’t like you. Not at all.”

  Niles didn’t bother to look at Mom, he continued to stare at Max.

  “You’d be a fool to walk away from that,” Dad advised.

  “What offer?” I asked, looking up at Max.

  “Your father offered this…” Niles started explaining and my eyes went to him, “man two hundred and fifty thousand dollars to disappear out of your life. I’m making it three quarters of a million.”

  I gasped at this news and took a step back but Max’s hand held mine fast, he took a step forward and he was stronger than me so I went with him.

  He put the knuckles of his fist to the table, leaned toward Niles and spoke quietly, cuttingly, in his rough, gravelly voice.

  “Fucked her last night, man, and this morning. Five times. Five. It was like she hadn’t been touched in a decade. So fuckin’ sweet. Damn,” he taunted, his eyes locked on Niles. “You’ve had her, you gotta know, not enough money in the world’s worth that.”

  Niles’s torso jerked back and his face went pale again but it was my father who spoke.

  “Honest to God, Nina, what on earth is the matter with you? You’d choose this over Niles?”

  I stood there, shocked at what Max had said to Niles, shocked at what I was seeing from Niles, shocked that any of this was even happening and I looked at my father, silent. Then I looked at Niles. Then I looked over my shoulder at Mom and Steve. Finally, I looked at Max.

  What I had taken in consisted of both Dad and Niles wearing corduroys and nice sweaters. Both fair. Both slim. Both good-looking in a polished way. Both looking like money, breeding, class but not a lot of warmth. In fact, they both looked weirdly detached even though they were participating in this debacle.

  I also saw Steve’s attractive silver hair and I knew it had been dark before it’d changed its color. He was dressed much like Max without the thermal. No airs. No graces. All man. He had his arm around Mom’s waist and her back was held close to his front. He was bigger and taller than Mom and looked like he could take on a bear and would if that bear threatened his Nellie.

  And I’d seen Mom wearing lovely tweed trousers, a fitted, black turtleneck, a tailored, trendy, black leather jacket over the sweater and a neat, stylish black purse on her shoulder. Earrings, a pretty, unusual necklace glinting against her sweater, her hair pulled back softly in a ponytail, her makeup flawless. She stood in Steve’s arm, dressed fancy, dressed somewhat like me, dressed like she liked to dress, standing there like she’d been built to stand held close to Steve.

  And I felt Max’s big, warm hand wrapped around mine, engulfing it, steady, strong, safe. He’d stood by my side through this fiasco and never let me go.

  I stared at Niles and Dad across the table and I got it then, it penetrated.

  Niles actually didn’t care about me. Once he had me, he thought he had me and that was it. The world revolved around him, his wants, his preferences, his habits and all around him fit into that world. He didn’t have to work at it, as partners always had to work at it. He didn’t care enough to work at it. It was up to me to care, to fit, to revolve around him, his wants, his preferences, his habits. He didn’t listen to me because what I said didn’t matter, it didn’t fit into his world and thus it didn’t mean a single thing to him.

  Even now, standing across from me, having lost me, he didn’t try to win me. He was trying to buy off Max.

  “You got nothin’?” Max prompted Niles and my attention went from what was now screamingly obvious back to him.

  “If you think you can goad me into getting physical then think again,” Niles snapped back, his face had changed again to another look I’d never seen on him. Contemptuous, even scornful, and that hideous look shook me from my scalp straight to my boots.

  “I just told you I fucked what you consider your woman, fucked her five times, and you got nothin’?” Max asked, disbelieving.

  “This is hardly gentlemanly behavior.” My father entered the discussion.

  Max straightened and turned to Dad. “Not one fuckin’ thing gentlemanly about protecting what’s yours. Looks like you’re gonna lose it, you do everything you can to stop that from happening.” Max looked back to Niles. “And you didn’t do that. She was a week away from me, she walked into a room I was in holdin’ another man’s hand, I’d lose my fuckin’ mind. Not at her. Wonderin’ where I lost my way and I’d talk to her about how to find my way back.” I heard my mother make a noise from behind us but I was too busy staring at Max’s profile, letting his words sink in and noting, as they were doing that, how good they felt. When Niles didn’t respond, Max finished, “Christ, you stand there, starin’ down your nose at me and you don’t even get it’s you who doesn’t deserve her.”

  Moments passed and I continued to stare at Max’s profile, his words rocking me in a good way but also wondering how rude it would be if I made out with him in front of Niles.

  “Nina,” Niles called and I started, my eyes, with effort, leaving Max and going to him. “Perhaps we can speak alone,” he suggested tardily.

  “Too late, asshole,” Max muttered, turned from the table and dragged me out of the restaurant.

  This was because things had gotten ugly and therefore, as Max promised, we were out of there.

  We exited the restaurant, Mom and Steve on our heels, and I was still trying to come to terms with all that was said and all I’d discovered inside. Max, however, had already come to terms with it and the terms he’d come to was him being annoyed at me.

  “Said it yesterday, babe, you didn’t listen,” he muttered, dragging me down the wooden plank sidewalk with Mom and Steve following.

  “Sorry?” I asked, walking swiftly to keep up.

  “Said you ain’t goin’ to that showdown, them fuckin’ with your head. Did you listen? Nope. Said you wanted to go. Jesus,” Max explained tersely and I tugged on his hand to stop him which he did, right outside The Mark.

  “Are you insinuating that was my fault?” I asked.

  Max looked down at me and replied, “Babe, we were all there because you wanted us to be.”

  “Oh my God,” I snapped and trie
d to yank my hand from his but this effort failed so I gave up and went on. “Are you serious?”

  “You were gonna marry him, Nina, did that scene surprise you?” Max asked.

  “Yes!” I shot back. “Yes, it did. I’d never seen Niles like that in my life.”

  Max’s brows went up. “Honest to God?”

  “Honest to God!” I cried. “I’d never marry that.” I looked at Mom who was staring at me with a mixture of anger, shock and distress and carried on, “I can’t even… I don’t even…” I stopped, the entirety of what just happened hit me, I tilted my head back then I shouted, “I almost married that man!”

  “Honey –” Max murmured, pulling at my hand but I yanked it away, successfully this time, and took a step back.

  “I almost married my father,” I whispered aghast as I fully processed this monstrous realization.

  “Duchess, baby –”

  “He offered you money,” I told Max.

  “So did your father,” Mom put in informatively.

  “Nellie,” Steve said low.

  “I mean, who acts like that?” I screeched.

  “It doesn’t matter, it’s over. You returned the ring. Done,” Max stated, no longer annoyed, apparently now in control-another-one-of-Nina’s-wild-hairs mode. He knew me enough by now to know, he didn’t control me, I’d march back to that restaurant and wring Niles’s neck and my father’s, for that matter.

  But Nina was not to be controlled.

  “Two years, two years I wasted on him. Oh. My. God.” I threw my hands out. “What a fool! I’ll never get that time back!”

  Max looked over my shoulder then at me and said quietly, “Babe, calm down, let’s go in, get food –”

  I interrupted him, still ranting, “All that time I kept thinking and thinking, was I doing the right thing? Would I hurt him? How could I hurt him? He’s a good man. Wondering, worried, my head filled with rubbish. I swear, I made myself sick with it. I did!” I shouted. “You were there! I actually made myself sick with it!”

  Max caught my hips and pulled me closer to him. “Nina, it’s done.”

  “I spent two hours writing an e-mail to him, Max, making certain it didn’t hurt too much and he didn’t even read it.”