The Gamble

by Kristen Ashley

“How about I make some coffee while you bring her downstairs?” I suggested, Barb nodded and I went on, “Can Bitsy Dodd get into your house?”

  I felt something come from Max and watched Barb’s body jolt.

  “Bitsy?” Barb asked.

  I nodded again. “Yes.”

  “Sure, Brody’s here, he or Max can get her in the house,” she said. “They’ve done it before lotsa times.”

  “That’s good,” I told her and turned to Max who was studying me, his eyes intense but his expression was blank. “Can you take care of Bitsy?”

  “Yeah,” he replied and his eyes went to the door before going to Barb. “Someone’s here.”

  Barb turned back to the door and I took off my coat. Moving into the house, I dropped it on the couch and I went in what I hoped was the direction of the kitchen. Luckily, my hopes came to fruition.

  Max followed several moments later.

  “It’s your Mom and Steve,” he told me as I searched the cupboards for coffee.

  “Good.”

  “Nina, you know what you’re doin’?”

  I found the coffee, took down the canister and yanked out the pot from the coffeemaker.

  “Not really,” I replied.

  Max got close as I filled the pot. “Don’t know ‘bout this shit but I’m guessin’ now’s a sensitive time.”

  I pressed my lips together and turned off the faucet.

  Yesterday, according to Max, I had this. Yesterday, he trusted everything I did with Mindy. Yesterday, he let me take care of everything.

  Today, or, I should say now, after whatever happened, he wasn’t so sure.

  “I figure what I have planned might not help but it won’t hurt,” I told the coffeemaker as I poured the water in.

  “Nina, look at –” Max started, not calling me “babe”, “honey”, “darlin’”, “baby” or “Duchess” but “Nina”.

  He didn’t finish because my Mom was there.

  “Max, sweetie, there’s a lady in a wheelchair outside who needs your assistance.”

  I was measuring coffee into the filter but I felt Max’s hesitation like it was physical then I felt him leaving the same way.

  Mom got close. “Did you learn what’s going on?”

  I had told her my plan for Mindy over the phone and I’d also filled her in a bit about the reading. I hadn’t explained that Max couldn’t afford to keep the land he was given just that he was given it. I had told her about the letters but, as I didn’t know what was in them, I couldn’t give her that knowledge.

  “No,” I answered.

  “He’s not himself,” Mom observed with what had to be her keen mother’s sense since she’d been in his presence approximately twenty seconds and she’d known him less than two days.

  Still, she could say that again.

  “Hey,” we both heard as I flipped the switch to the coffee and we both turned to see Mindy in the doorway.

  She looked a little pale, she definitely looked listless but other than that, she looked like Mindy.

  “Hi there, my lovely,” I said to her, moved across the room, took her in my arms, gave her tight hug and, I was pleased to note, she hugged me back.

  I pulled away slightly, gave her a smile and told her, “It’s already afternoon and I’ve not witnessed any brawls. Slow day.”

  Her head tilted to the side and her lips twitched before she said, “Well, I gotta be with you. I don’t see any brawls either unless you’re there.”

  My hands gave her upper arms a squeeze as my heart was processing her lip twitch hopefully. “Yes, I forgot about that.”

  “Max had a showdown with Nina’s ex-fiancé in the hotel restaurant this morning, though, alas, no punches were thrown,” Mom informed Mindy, pushing into my space, giving her a hug and kissing her cheek before pulling back.

  Mindy looked from Mom to me and asked, “No joke? You’re fiancé’s here?”

  “Unfortunately, yes,” I answered.

  “Ex,” Mom put in firmly, “ex-fiancé.”

  Mindy gave Mom another lip twitch before looking at me and asking, “Why’s he here?”

  “Because he’s a jerk, like my Dad, who’s also a jerk.”

  “I thought you said he was –” Mindy started.

  “I was wrong,” I told her. “During the showdown he exposed his true self and let’s just say I won’t be tearing up over pizza the next time we go out,” I explained.

  “Bitsy’s here,” Barb called from the doorway before Mindy could reply and I looked at Mom then at Mindy.

  “Bitsy?” Mindy asked, now looking confused.

  “Mindy, can you trust me for about fifteen minutes?” I enquired and watched her body lock, panic filled her face and I thought for a second she would flee.

  Then, seeming to struggle to push it back, she nodded and whispered, “I trust you all the time, Neens.”

  I pressed my lips together and swallowed the lump that formed in my throat as my eyes slid to my Mom who was smiling a gentle smile at me. This smile from Mom, as it always did my whole life, gave me strength. This was good. I needed it because I was scared to death my plan was going to go south.

  Then I took Mindy’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “Let’s go into the living room.”

  I led her by the hand into the living room, Mom and Barb following. Bitsy was sitting in her chair by the couch and she looked run through the mill but when her eyes hit Mindy, her torso straightened and her gaze grew alert.

  “What’s up?” she asked me but didn’t look away from Mindy. “You said on the message you needed me here but you didn’t say why. Is everything okay?”

  “No,” I replied honestly, Bitsy’s eyes grew wide and they instantly flew to Max who was standing just inside the room by Steve, Brody and some other person, a man I didn’t know.

  I thought Bitsy looking at Max was telling. I shoved that back, focused and guided Mindy to the couch where we sat, me at her left side.

  “Bitsy, can you get close, please, right up here, in front of Mindy?” I called as Mom sat down on Mindy’s right side.

  Bitsy wheeled forward and got close to Mindy’s front as Mindy looked between the lot of us.

  I looked at Bitsy and stated softly, “I know you’ve had a tough day, a tough week and I wish I had time to explain what was happening here so you wouldn’t be blind-sighted by this. But I didn’t and now, I need you. This is going to be hard, but, will you trust me?”

  Her eyes were moving between Mindy, Mom and me and then she looked at me and nodded.

  “Can you take just a little bit more?” I prompted when Bitsy didn’t answer.

  “I… I think so,” Bitsy answered.

  “Neens, what’s this –” Mindy started but I talked over her, keeping my gaze steady on Bitsy.

  “Bitsy, yesterday, Mindy tried to commit suicide,” I announced.

  Bitsy gasped and jolted back in her chair. Mindy tensed and then started to stand up but I grabbed her hand on one side and Mom grabbed the other side, holding her down.

  I turned to Mindy and put a hand to her knee. “Yesterday, darling, yesterday you said you didn’t want anyone to know. And, I promise you, in anything else, anything else, I would respect your wishes.” I lifted my hand from her thigh, cupped her cheek and whispered, “Not this. This is too important.”

  “Neens, I can’t do this,” Mindy whispered back, tears filling her eyes, fear stark on her face and my courage took a direct hit but I forged onward.

  “Oh yes you can, sweetheart, you can because you’ve got strong women all around you and we’re going to help you do this,” I told her and the tears slid down her cheeks. “You know I was beaten by my boyfriend. You know that Bitsy’s legs were taken away and all that happened to her recently. What you don’t know is that my Dad cheated on my Mom while she was pregnant with me and left her without looking back at either of us for seven years. She’s now married to the love of her life and happy as a clam.”

  “Neens –” Mindy whisper
ed on a ragged breath.

  “What I’m saying is, life socks it to us and we survive.”

  “Neens –”

  “We fight.”

  She shook her head and the tears continued to fall.

  “And when we can’t fight, we learn to turn to others who’ve learned life’s lessons, who’ve survived, who’ll gather close and help us make it through.”

  She kept shaking her head and tried to pull away but I dropped her hand and grabbed her face with both of mine.

  My voice was fierce when I said, “Mins, we don’t give up.”

  I heard crying, Mindy’s and others, maybe Barb, but I kept my eyes glued to Mindy.

  “We never give up.”

  “Neens –”

  I interrupted again and said, “You’re loved.”

  “I know,” she whispered, her face blanching at the same time it flinched, what she did to those who cared about her the day before scored into her features.

  “No one is angry at you,” I assured her. “We all understand.”

  She shook her head. “No you don’t.”

  “Oh yes, darling, we do. And we hurt for you and that’s a beautiful thing.”

  “It isn’t.”

  “It is. To be that loved, Mindy, it’s beautiful.”

  She closed her eyes tight and then opened them.

  “You’re strong.” It was an accusation.

  “I’m not. What I am is someone who has a great Mom, I had a wonderful brother and I have a lot of good friends who helped me through. They taught me things along the way, filled me up with something that I could keep with me and I didn’t know what it was, not until now. I didn’t know they were filling me with something I could give away when it was my time to give. Something that I’m giving now, to you.”

  She bit her lip and swallowed before whispering, “I can’t stop thinking about it.”

  “Of course not, you were violated,” I whispered back. “What happened to you was hideous.”

  “I’m weak.”

  I pulled her face close to mine as I leaned in and rested my forehead to hers. “Then promise to find help to get strong.”

  “I can’t get clean.”

  “That’s because you’re polishing a diamond. How much more brilliant do you want it to shine, my lovely?”

  Her body jerked so violently, her head came away from my hands.

  “Mindy,” Bitsy called, I dropped my hands and Mindy struggled but she looked at Bitsy who lifted her arms toward the younger girl. “Come here, baby, I need you to listen to me now.” Mindy shook her head, Bitsy leaned forward and urged, “Please, give me your hands.”

  “I can’t,” Mindy sobbed.

  Bitsy leaned forward further and took Mindy’s hands. Lifting them up between them, she shook them hard.

  “After this happened to me, I thought about suicide,” Bitsy shared and Mindy hiccoughed a loud sob and tried to pull away but Bitsy held on tight. “I did, so many times, God, so many.”

  “I can’t do this,” Mindy moaned.

  “I wish someone like Nina knew,” Bitsy talked over her. “I wish I had this kind of support around me. I had to fight back the urge on my own,” Bitsy said. “I never told anyone, until I told Nina the other day. I don’t know how I made it.”

  “You… you…” Mindy stuttered.

  “I fought it back. Sometimes I didn’t know why, what was the point? But I did it and I’m glad I did.”

  “Wh… why?” Mindy asked.

  “Because I have nieces now and they’re the loves of my lives. Because, no matter what people think, I had more time with Curt and he was good to me, he made me laugh. Because I got to watch you grow up and grow beautiful.” Mindy shook her head and tried to pull her hands away again but Bitsy held tight. “This kind of thing happens to you, one thing I learned is that you have to give away some of the pain. You can’t carry it all with you.”

  “I… I’ve tried, with Becca, I don’t know how to let it go,” Mindy told Bitsy.

  “It’s easy, you just give it away,” Bitsy explained.

  “I –”

  “Give me your pain, Mins,” Bitsy ordered gently.

  Mindy shook her head and pulled at her hands again.

  “Give it,” Bitsy urged and the tears kept falling but Mindy just stared at Bitsy until Bitsy leaned in even closer and whispered, “Give it to me, honey.”

  Bitsy and Mindy looked into each other’s eyes for long moments while I held my breath. Then suddenly Mindy fell to her knees in front of Bitsy’s chair, shoved her cheek to Bitsy’s belly, wrapped her arms around Bitsy’s waist and burst into loud body-rocking tears.

  Bitsy stroked Mindy’s hair with one hand, her back with the other and she curled around Mindy protectively while she did this.

  I felt Mom’s fingers take mine.

  “That’s it, beautiful, let it out,” Bitsy cooed and Mindy cried louder.

  “Coffee now,” Mom murmured, getting up and pulling me with her.

  “Mom, we can’t –”

  Mom’s hand tightened in mine and I looked at her. “Coffee.”

  I nodded, she let my hand go and rounded Bitsy’s chair to me, her arm coming around my waist as she led me toward the kitchen. I saw Brody holding his weeping Mom, Steve was moving toward us, the other person had disappeared but Max was watching Bitsy and Mindy.

  “They need some time,” Mom stated to the gathering and kept moving me toward the kitchen.

  Steve followed closely, Barb and Brody after Steve and Steve had pulled me into one of his hugs when Max arrived.

  Mom searched through the cupboards to find cups. I pressed my cheek into Steve’s chest and avoided Max’s eyes.

  “Steve and I did some searching,” Mom said softly to Barb and Brody. “There’s a rape crisis center a couple of towns over. We contacted them, they said they do callouts and they’re waiting for you to phone.” When Barb nor Brody said anything, Mom went on, “Now’s the time to call, to get her some help. I know it goes against the grain to push her after yesterday but it’s the right thing to do.”

  “She didn’t call when we asked her to call them before,” Barb whispered.

  Mom set the last cup on the counter, got close to Barb and took her hand.

  “Then make her,” Mom whispered, “or, better yet, do it for her.”

  Barb looked in Mom’s eyes, anxiety, uncertainty and fear in her own then slowly she nodded.

  Mom looked to Steve. “Darling, will you give me that number we wrote down?” Steve pulled it out of his pocket, gave it to Mom and Mom asked Steve as she led Barb away, “Can you finish the coffees?”

  Steve nodded, let me go and moved to the coffeepot.

  I stood swaying, hoping that my gamble would pay off and also hoping that Max would take over for Steve.

  He didn’t. Instead, to my surprise, Brody came close, grabbed my hand and walked me to the kitchen table. He sat in a chair and I stood uncertain in front of him with my hand in his. Then he tugged my hand so hard my arm jerked in its socket and with a soft gasp I went down into his lap where both his arms came around me in an embrace so tight it forced the breath right out of me. His face went into my neck, my body stiffened in his arms and my eyes flew to Max who was staring at us with a muscle jerking in his jaw.

  Now what did I do?

  I pulled in a breath, turned my head and positioned my mouth at Brody’s ear.

  “Brody,” I called.

  He didn’t answer.

  Hesitantly, I put my hand to his hair. “Brody, darling, look at me.”

  He did, pulling his face out of my neck and tipping it back, he looked at me and spoke.

  “Owe you the world,” he whispered.

  I forgot my discomfiture, settled into him and put my hand to his neck. “Brody –”

  “She’s my world, my baby sister,” he said. “She’d not be here, if not for you. Owe you the world.”

  I didn’t know what to say to that because essentially it was
true.

  So I decided to change subjects. “Promise me we’re going to have this moment and you’re going to let it go.”

  “I’ll never forget,” Brody vowed.

  I nodded and said, “Yes, I know, you’ll never forget, I’ll never forget, Max won’t ever forget but after this, will you promise to let it go?”

  His eyes held mine for several long moments before his lit and he asked, “If I don’t, will you arrange an intervention for me?”

  I felt my mouth move into a mini-smile. “Probably.”

  “I won’t have to hug Max, will I?” he went on.

  “Maybe, if you don’t let it go,” I threatened. “Cotton, Mick, Jeff and Pete too, since they’re the only men I know in town. Oh wait, today I met George Nielson, I’ll have to invite him along.”

  Brody gave me a small grin before it faded but the light in his eyes grew more intense and he whispered, “Then I’ll let it go.”

  “Good,” I whispered back.

  “Coffee,” Max grunted from close.

  I looked up at him to see he was, indeed, close and he was holding a cup to me. I also realized that I was still in Brody’s lap and I mostly realized this because Max was staring at my behind in a way that communicated a good degree of displeasure.

  I scooted off Brody’s lap, took the cup of coffee Max was offering with a murmured thanks and made my way to the safe haven of Steve.

  No one spoke, even when Mom and Barb came back. Max didn’t get close. Instead, he seemed lost in his thoughts as he stared out the kitchen window to the backyard.

  I tried not to look at him doing this but I couldn’t keep my eyes from going to him as I sipped my coffee feeling, for the first time since I walked up the steps to his A-Frame, lost and alone.

  I felt this way until Steve got close, slid an arm along my waist and put his lips to the side of my head.

  “That couldn’t have been easy, with Charlie and all,” he murmured to me. “Proud of you, doll.”

  “Thanks,” I murmured back and Max must have heard, for his eyes came to us, that muscle jerked in his jaw again before he turned back to his intense perusal of the backyard.

  * * * * *

  At Bitsy’s request, I stood in the sliding door of the van that brought her to Barb and Darren’s house. The man I hadn’t met who I saw in the house (his name, I found out, was Burt) was her driver.