I'm Doin' Me

by Anna Black

  When she arrived, she called Myah and told her to send a couple people down to help her with the things she purchased. They set the food up on the buffet table that sat along the wall and everyone pulled out their electronic devices and went to their show’s program and got to work. They came up with six alternate episode ideas, hoping they could put a celebrity guest in that role.

  Satisfied with the day of work with her favorite team, she wanted to head home, but Asia called and asked her to meet her for dinner. She didn’t want to go, but she agreed to meet her at Sunset Towers restaurant and bar. When she arrived, her friend came over and greeted her with a hug and kiss.

  “Hey, girl, don’t you look cute in your peach dress?” Asia said.

  “And you too in your white,” Tiffany said.

  They were seated and started chatting. Tiffany wondered why Asia kept holding up her left hand when she spoke. She finally noticed a ring on her fourth finger. “Asia, tell me that is not a diamond.” She hadn’t known she and her Rude Boy was that serious. She thought their relationship was more sexual than mental.

  “Yes, Edward asked me this morning,” she said beaming.

  “Edward as in the Edward you just met at Kory’s a few weeks ago?” Tiffany was shocked.

  “Yes.” Asia’s smile was wider than an airplane runway.

  “And you said yes? You’ve known him for like five minutes, Asia.” Tiffany wasn’t smiling. She thought this was a major rush.

  “You don’t have to know someone long, Tiffany, to know you are in love,” she explained. “Edward and I are each other’s match.”

  “How do you know that, Asia? You can’t possibly know enough about him in this short time to share the rest of your life with him,” Tiffany said trying to make sense of it, but she could see that she was upsetting her friend.

  “Listen, Tiffany, I am an adult, okay, and I can make decisions for myself. I thought you, of all people, would understand.” Asia waved for the server to order a drink.

  Tiffany was incredulous. “Why would you think that? How did you think for a second that I’d understand that you are in love with a man in a shorter time than it takes me to dry my hair?”

  “Because you’ve only known Kory just as long and you’re in love with him.”

  Tiffany laughed. “Asia, listen to yourself. I’ve known Kory over fifteen years.”

  “No, you met him over fifteen years ago and haven’t seen him since. He is just as much a stranger to you as Edward is to me.”

  Tiffany knew that in a way, Asia was right. It was a stretch of reasoning, but she was right.

  “Asia, the point is I fell in love with Kory back then,” she said in her defense. “And over the years, I’ve always loved him.”

  “But you loved a boy back then. For crying out loud, you were a damn teen. This man is not that boy anymore. You haven’t even spent as much time with him as I’ve spent with Edward the last few weeks and you know you love him, so why can’t I love Edward?”

  Tiffany decided to leave it at that. “You know what, Asia, I’m sorry, okay? Congratulations,” she said sincerely. “And I’m sorry for reacting that way.”

  “Yuh should be,” Asia said and smiled. “Yuh di first person mi tell, and yuh come rain pon mi parade.”

  The server finally came over to take their drink orders. They ordered and ended up sharing an appetizer because they were not too hungry. They finished and stood outside for a moment before they parted.

  “Again, I’m happy for you, Asia,” Tiffany said, “and I wish the best for you, girl. Come here.” She hugged her tight. “I love you, girl, so much.” She meant it.

  There was no schedule on love and that made Tiffany question her love for Kory. Maybe she didn’t love him. Maybe she was just caught up in the memories and it was meant to be just the way it was: him with Tressa and her with someone else, hopefully soon.

  “Mi love yuh too, gal,” she said.

  They said good night and Tiffany drove home telling herself she would get over Kory and just focus on her career and job situation. She had to make some long-term decisions and some short-term goals to get over this obstacle in her life. When she got home, she made the call she had put off all day. She had to call her best friend, Rose, and tell her that she and Kory meeting again wasn’t destiny. It was just another bag that she needed to finally unpack and stop carrying around on her trips of love.

  Chapter Thirteen

  The network wasn’t impressed at all. Rather, Mr. Keiffer wasn’t impressed with all the guest star appearances Tiffany managed to land. He looked at her with the same dull-ass expression he had before she told him the lineup for the show. She was bursting with excitement and so were her cast and crew. They were only days away from rehearsals. She managed to get Brandy Norwood, Terri Ellis, Meagan Good, Mo’Nique, Pooch Hall, and a couple newcomers to commit to the show.

  She had such a great conversation with Tisha Campbell-Martin and Tichina Arnold that she came up with a concept right then and there on the spot for them to appear together on the show. She had a vision of Shana’s mom getting together with her old high school group and they decide to sing for a charity event and everyone wants to be the lead. She envisioned them being on stage singing at the top of their lungs trying to outsing each other. Shana’s mom, Rita, on the show had a singing voice, but since the show was based on the girls so much, their parents were not in the forefront. Now, it was everyone’s chance to have a title episode in this last season.

  “So, Mr. Keiffer,” she said, “you are welcome to come to our tapings. Bill never missed one.”

  “If I have time.” He didn’t even look up. He continued to give his undivided attention to the papers on his desk.

  She knew that meant “make your exit,” so she stood. “Okay, Mr. Keiffer, I’ll leave you to it.” He still didn’t look up.

  She went down the hall and hit the elevator button to go back down to her floor. She made it to her floor and when she got closer to her office, she realized she had her notes, but not her phone. It must have fallen when she was going through her notes to bring Mr. Keiffer up to speed on where the show was going. She went back up to look for it. His door was cracked a little, and she could hear his voice, so she knew he was in. She raised her arm to knock, but stopped when she overheard that word. The word she still used from time to time, but not for the same reasons.

  “Yes, you heard me right,” she heard him say. “There is no way in hell I’m going to let a pack of niggers have the number one spot at my station. When my family first started this network, the only thing niggers did was clean the place. When Billy took charge, he started hiring niggers left and right.” He chuckled. “Then I learn he gave executive control of the show to this nigger. He must have lost his damn mind. When I heard that, I knew I had to shut it down. Even if they rewrite the entire season giving me what I demanded, I will let her know the offer no longer stands. Either way, I’m not renewing their contract.”

  Tiffany was floored. He was an old-ass racist. It wasn’t that he didn’t think the show was great. He didn’t like the fact of it being a black show. She backed away from the door.

  “Don’t cry, Tiffany, don’t you cry,” she instructed herself. She pressed the button over and over again until the doors finally opened. She rushed to her office and shut the door behind her quickly. She leaned back against it, slid down the door to the floor, and sobbed. She couldn’t believe it. Out of all the reasons for him to want them gone. Racist. He was an old-ass, racist bastard. She took a few deep breaths and wanted to scream.

  When she was able, she got up and went to her desk, flopped down in her chair, opened her drawer, and grabbed her Remy. She dumped the unfinished coffee that was in her cup into the trash and grabbed her unused napkins from her desk to wipe the cup out. She poured herself more than a shot’s worth, took a couple swallows, and caught her breath.

  There was a tap on her door. She wiped her face real good and said, “Come in.” It was Myah.<
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  “Hey, Mr. Keiffer sent this down. Said you left it in his office.” She handed Tiffany her phone. She looked at her boss closely. “Tiff, what’s wrong?” She sat down in the chair across from her.

  “Close the door, Mee-Mee,” Tiffany said.

  Myah rushed over and shut it. “Tiff, what is it?” She came back and sat down. “What happened in the meeting with Keiffer?”

  “He’s shutting the show down because he’s a racist.” Tiffany blinked back her tears. “He is a fucking racist, Mee-Mee.” She grabbed a Kleenex.

  “How do you know that, Tiffany? What would make you think something so terrible about him?”

  “I heard him, he said the word ‘nigger’ loud and fucking clear. I heard him on the phone. It doesn’t matter what direction I take the show in, he still would have not renewed our contract.”

  “Whoa, Tiffany, that’s messed up. What are you going to do?”

  “What can I do, quit? I should just quit and walk away from this stupid-ass network.”

  “And give him the satisfaction of shutting you down? You are a hellava producer and a kick-ass writer. If you just quit and walk away now, he wins. Screw him, Tiffany, screw this network. You end this like you said you would and move on. This season is going to be so kick-ass he is going to be begging you to come back. Not one show in this network’s history has ranked higher than Boy Crazy, so don’t you dare think about quitting.”

  “You know what, Myah, you are right. I just have to give up this hope of him seeing what a huge mistake it is to let Boy Crazy go. He doesn’t want us here. He doesn’t want to sit back and watch his white shows get stomped by our show. It’s a no-win situation and I am fine with that. I had a great show and it’s been a great run. KCLN is just a stepping stone. After this season, I’m sure someone will hire me, even if it’s for a new show.”

  Myah nodded and smiled. “Yes, that is truth.” She stood to leave and paused. “Tiffany, one more thing?”

  “Yes, what’s up?”

  “When the show is done and you guys are gone, I hope you won’t be upset with me if I stay on. I know Keiffer is a racist bastard, but I have three kids, Tiffany, and this job has benefits.” Her words came out in a nervous rush. “I may have to stick around here after you guys are gone.”

  “Myah, that is fine. Why would you think for a second that I wouldn’t understand? You have to do what’s best for your family, and I wouldn’t blame you if you kept your position here.”

  “Thanks, Tiffany. Truth, you are the best boss I’ve had since I’ve worked here and when it’s all said and done, I am going to miss you.”

  Tiffany stood and went around to hug her. “Just promise me that I will be able to take you with me if I land something new. I’ll make sure you get benefits for your babies,” she promised.

  “No doubt. I’d be outta here before Alice in editing could finish her dozen donuts.” Alice was a heavyset woman who loved donuts. If Myah didn’t snatch one in the morning before nine, at least twelve of the good ones would have been eaten by her colleague.

  “Great. Now, order everyone’s favorite Chinese and have it delivered. We only have four days before rehearsals begin. You know the season comes on us quicker than Alice hits those donuts.” They laughed.

  “Sure, I’m on it. And, Tiffany, you are fabulous. This network is going to regret letting you go.”

  Tiffany smiled. “Thank you, Mee-Mee.”

  When her assistant was on the other side of the door, Tiffany sat back at her desk and finished her drink. She swallowed it slowly and then she noticed the light blinking on her cell phone. She picked it up to check it and saw that it was a text:

  I just wanted 2 say hi N I hope U R well.

  Even though she had deleted his number from her phone, she recognized the number. She stared at it for a moment and then tossed her phone back on the desk. “Please, Kory, just let me be,” she said out loud.

  It had been a little less than two weeks since they had fooled around on her sofa. Every time her mind tried to replay the scene, she’d moved to something else. She hated daydreaming because she always let her mind wander off to Koryland when she just wanted to forget him.

  “Asia’s right, I have no idea who you are now. We’re not kids anymore,” she said and took the last swallow of the remaining Remy that was in her cup. She grabbed her tablet and headed to the idea room.

  The following week, they were on the set for rehearsal of the first episode, “Meet the Teacher.” In that episode, Wade Simmons made his debut. Even though he didn’t have any acting experience, he did a good job and they were ready to record.

  Sometimes, scenes took several shoots to get it right, and since every scene was recorded separately and at different times, she put in more hours. After the first episode was recorded, she stayed late to make sure things were good. She was leaving the studio a little later than usual when she saw a familiar face walking toward the trailer of another big-shot actor. She focused a little more and wondered what Tressa was doing with Stephen Willis at that time of night. She wondered if she was still with Kory and if he knew she was arm-in-arm with that arrogant bastard. It wasn’t her business or her concern, so she dismissed what she saw and headed to her car.

  When she got home, she remembered Keith, and even though it was late, she called him.

  “Hey,” he said.

  “Keith, I’m sorry I’m calling so late. How are you?”

  “I’m good, Tiff, how are you? Long time, no hear.”

  “Yeah, well I’ve been dealing with my show.”

  “I thought it was because you wanted to avoid any conversations about Kory,” he joked.

  “Yeah, that too, but the reason why I was calling is I wanted to confirm Julia’s number,” she lied. “We are taping now and I want to confirm that she’ll still be a part of the show.” He gave her the number again and she wanted to ask about Kory, but resisted. “Thanks so much, Keith.”

  “So are you going to attend the wedding?”

  “Nah, I don’t think that would be a good idea.”

  “I understand. I still wonder ’til this day why is he still going through with it. But hey, not my life, right?”

  “Right,” Tiffany said. “We gotta let grown folks do what they do.”

  “Indeed. However, I would like for you to still hang out with me. I want you to meet my wife and not be a stranger.”

  “Will do, Keith, I promise. I want to meet her too.”

  “Well, keep in touch, and I promise, no Kory talk if that’s what you want.”

  “That’s what I need,” she corrected him.

  “Okay, Tiff, I gotta run. Time to get my kids to bed.”

  “Okay, Keith. I will see you soon,” she said and hung up.

  It was confirmed, the wedding was still on. Why Tressa was at Stephen’s trailer at nine at night should not have been her concern, but she knew exactly who to go to for answers.

  Chapter Fourteen

  The next couple of weeks flew by and recordings went great. Finally, it was the day that Julia Valentine was to be on set. Everyone and their momma showed up just to hear her sing. Her voice was like no other, and when it was time for her scene, the entire set lapsed into silence. This was the episode where Claire’s father died and she sang at his funeral. Timothy Warren, in the role of Claire’s father, had found a new home and would be leaving the show whether or not the contract was renewed. He tragically died in an accident at his construction site, and although this was make-believe, there were no dry eyes when Julia finished her song.

  When the day was done, Tiffany rushed over to thank the singer for participating and being a part of her show. “Julia, oh my God, you were phenomenal. I thank you so much for doing this. This episode should have been the show’s finale.”

  Julia smiled. “You are so very welcome. Anything for Keith. You know he helped to save my family’s lives?”

  Tiffany didn’t know the entire story. “Somewhat, yes, only what I read.�
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  “Well, he came through for me and I will always come through for him . . . and Kory.” She gave her a look, but she ignored it.

  “Well, thanks again, Julia,” Tiffany said, hoping she’d drop the conversation about Kory.

  “You’re welcome. And, I will add that he is marrying the wrong one. I’m not an expert, but I have ears, and when the fellas are together, you’re Kory’s number one topic, not Tressa.” She winked. “By the way, we are having a birthday party at my house for my li’l Juliana and I would love for you to come. You know, rub elbows with some people. This show is a great show, and I know a few people who you may want to meet. Their children are on the guest list. I will definitely promote the show and tell all of my fans to tune in.”

  Tiffany accepted the invite and when Julia left, Tiffany called Asia to invite her, but she said she was going to be out of town meeting Edward’s folks.

  She put her phone in her pocket, disappointed, and then she spotted Darryl. He was gay, yes, but also a social butterfly and an elbow-rubber. She walked over and told him about the party. When she said at Julia’s house, he practically leaped into her arms

  A few days later, they arrived and waited for the valet to park their car.

  “Look at this, Tiffany, this is how I want to live,” Darryl said, looking at the enormous lot that Julia’s mansion sat on.

  “You and me both,” Tiffany said. “If I can just sell one of my manuscripts, it would be on from then on.”

  Darryl turned to her with his eyebrows raised. “You have manuscripts, buttercup?”

  “Yes, I am a writer, Dee, that’s what I do. I have more than sitcom goals, you know.” The valet opened her door for her to get out.

  “Hey, I ain’t hatin’,” he said and got out.

  They entered the party and mingled. There were several celebrities they had never met, and Tiffany had to hold Darryl back at times and remind him not to act like a groupie.