“You were not ready to do what needed to be done. Not when you were a young thing, not when you had just left home, and not even a month ago,” he said, and the pain of what he was saying struck me like a hammer. “I am not sure, even now, if you could cut him down, you would-”
“How dare you,” I replied, although my voice had no more energy. I was dried up and done. I looked around, the mansion in ruins in all directions, the dirt shield I’d erected with only my will having crushed everything.
We were left with nothing.
And even less than that, less than nothing, because we had lost Luka.
I wanted to collapse but couldn’t. How many times had I crumpled when things had gotten hard? I thought of Luka’s smile, his calm way of handling everything that came after him. Had he known his life would be cut so short? The thought made me sick. I didn’t want to think about dying. I’d almost died too many times that I could feel it, death’s cold fingers dragging down the back of my neck whenever I closed my eyes.
I met Wolfe’s gaze with my own, steady and clear for the first time in a long time, maybe ever.
“If I saw my father in the next five seconds, I would kill myself to end him.” My jaw clenched as Wolfe surveyed me.
“Luka made the same decision today,” he murmured. “And look, now,” he turned to where the circle of werewolves opened to let Landon walk toward Frank and Daria, the body of their dead lover in his arms. Daria’s face was drawn, ashen. She stepped toward Landon.
I couldn’t keep watching. I closed my eyes and wept, the tears burning in my lashes, dripping off my cheeks.
How could it have all happened so quickly? It felt like the universe would never be the same again.
“I would do it,” I promised Wolfe, “if he were here, I would end him. I would ruin him.”
Wolfe’s voice and eyes were sombre as he watched Levi keep Frank from collapsing, his one arm holding Frank close.
“And if you had to go to him?” Wolfe asked. The hiccup of hesitation rose in my chest, and he regarded me calmly.
“I-“ I fell silent. There was nothing to say. We both knew I didn’t have that kind of courage, even after Luka’s sacrifice.
Seventeen
“This is where he would want to be,” Wolfe said, standing over the gently mounding earth. Beneath it, Luca slept the last sleep, never to wake again. A breeze tugged at my curls and cooled the tracks of tears on my cheeks, where I stubbornly refused to wipe them away. Luca, like Max, had given everything. I could deal with the mild discomfort.
Daria stood, Frank, glued to her side, at the end of Luca’s grave, Levi and Landon flanking the two of them. Grief shrouded her, shadowing her face, and she looked like she’d aged five years in a day.
“The stars are mourning his loss, too soon, for him to have realized all the secrets of the universe and the gifts he was to bring to this generation of witches,” Wolfe said. Beside me, Eli shifted, and I felt him hold back the snort of derision. I felt it too. My generation of witches deserved nothing. Not redemption, nothing. All we left were ashes and dead bodies in our wakes. Even trying to be better, trying to be different, I had gotten two people I cared about killed. First, Max, now Luca.
How many more? I blinked back bitter tears and tried not to think about my own feelings. Luca’s funeral was not about me. It was about Daria and Frank’s loss and about Wolfe, who was wearing his pain so openly for once that I wondered how he could stand there and not collapse from the weight of his grief.
A whisper of a thought at the back of my mind tingled, and I blinked away tears that blurred my vision again.
My father needed to pay. I needed to make him suffer. I wouldn’t rest until he did. And I needed to stop endangering everyone I loved to do it.
Forgive me, I thought, knowing how angry my guys would be if I up and disappeared in the night to make it happen, but there was no other way. Max had died. Levi had lost an arm. Daria had lost the love of her life, the same with Frank. And all because I’d always been holding myself back, refusing to embrace my powers, not letting myself do all the things I was capable of.
So much loss and pain could have been prevented if I’d been brave from the beginning. The time for running away from my problems was over. I had to start running right into them.
And that fucker that called himself my father was never going to see it coming.
“Darcy?” Ace nudged me gently, and I came out of my tangle of thoughts.
“Sorry,” I said, “was just…”
“Thinking?” He asked me with a soft smile. I looked around the clearing. Daria and Frank were gone, their honour guard of demons with them. Wolfe was standing, back to us, his shoulders slumped. “I think Wolfe wants some time alone,” Ace said, and Eli made a noise of agreement.
“Let’s go back to what remains of the house,” Eli said, referring to the small guest home in the corner of the property that had survived the destruction. We’d been staying there in the days since Luka’s death, trying to patch our hearts back together. Eli cleared his throat. His voice was rusty from not speaking much over the last few days. He was always quiet, my stoic one, but he’d been extra silent since Luka had been killed.
“Give me a minute,” I said, “I need to talk to Wolfe.” Finn gave me a worried look, and I smiled, as much as I could juster, leaning up to kiss him. “I’ll be right with you in ten minutes. Just… give us a few?” Charlie grazed his fingers over the back of my arm.
“Don’t make any plans without us,” he said, voice guarded and cautious. I couldn’t promise that. Things had gotten too horrible so quickly, and I needed to be able to do what I had to do, with or without them.
My father had to die, and I was done waiting. If I’d acted when I’d had the chance, this never would have happened. Luka would still walk the earth, be alive to laugh and kiss Daria, the joy in his eyes unmatched by anything I’d seen.
Waiting had gotten Max killed.
I was a little over waiting.
Wolfe stood, his back to me, shoulders tense.
“You’re dreaming of your bad decisions in your sleep,” he said as I approached him. “And nothing I do will dissuade you from the path you are already far gone down.”
“I thought you said I didn’t have it in me,” I tried not to be bitter. Really, I was trying. Wolfe laughed, the sound hollow, as he turned.
“You don’t,” he said, “But you’ll force yourself to. You’ll draw it out of yourself and go face this dragon with half your heart left here behind you. With your magic in tatters, you’ll go, and you’ll bare your neck for his sword, thinking it’s what you must do.” He looked like he already knew like it was set in stone.
“I’m not going to him so he can kill me,” I said, and Wolfe blinked slowly before glancing away.
“Are you not?”
The silence grew around us, breeze through the branches filling my ears until I wanted to scream.
“Of course not, that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard you say.” Anger hummed in my ears, pulsing just under my skin.
I wanted to throttle him, but there’d been enough death on my hands lately.
“I am tired,” I said, swallowing down all my feelings. “I… I think I just need to sleep.” It wasn’t true, and he knew it. I could see it in his eyes, from the disappointment creeping in the back of his gaze. That didn’t matter, though. The only thing left inside me was the burning urge to seek revenge. I wanted my father on his knees, begging forgiveness before I pulsed-
Pulsed what? The storm inside me had dried up and disappeared, stolen by him. All that was left? The poor shadow of power, the earthen dust that would crumble up to meet my frantic demands.
The urge to chew the inside of my cheek was strong, instead of spitting on the ground to show how much I was upset. MY father had crippled me, taken everything away from me, was slowly stripping me of everything I loved.
The guys would be next. They’d taken Luka from us; he’d taken
Luka, sending his little witchy minions to attack us. We were a man down, a powerful witch down, and even more defenceless than ever.
I wasn’t going to let him get away with doing that to us.
His story was over, and mine was just beginning. If he thought differently, he was in for a very rude awakening.
“I’m fine,” I said to Wolfe.
“I didn’t ask you how you were,” he paused and cleared his throat. “I already know you are the very furthest from fine.”
“Well, let’s pretend that I am and that you don’t notice I’m breaking to pieces,” I replied, meeting his gaze. “I need to take him down.”
“By yourself, of course,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest. “As per usual, you think that you can do whatever you like-”
“You told me that I could,” I cried out, outraged and hurt. “You were the one who always told me that I was never achieving the heights of my power, that I wasn’t trying hard enough, that I could do more. You have been pushing me from the day you met me, and now you tell me I can’t?”
He stayed silent, the weight of it condemning me.
He didn’t believe me.
Wolfe, the one person I could always turn to over these last wild, insane months of my life. The one person who saw something in me that nobody else did.
His gaze crushed me. I collapsed from the inside out, my heart slowing in my chest until I could barely feel it beat.
“I can do this,” I whispered, “I know I can.” His lips twitched, tugging down into a scowl.
“I’ll prepare the headstone,” his tone was twisted and unkind. “What do you want me to tell your wolves?”
Bitterness rose up along the back of my tongue like a thick coating.
“You won’t need to. I’ll tell them myself, when I get back, with his head on my belt.”
“Gruesome,” Wolfe said, deadpan. “Truly, I can’t wait for you to return, victories, the valiant hero who managed to murder her father with barely a spark of power in her veins.”
I lifted my hand and turned away as if I could physically keep him from speaking.
“I will do this.”
“On your own, when you’ve failed, with all of us with you,” Wolfe added. “Surely you see the madness in this.”
“You’re not fighting me hard on this, though, are you?” I asked, facing away from him. “You aren’t grabbing me by the arm, begging me to stay behind, so I’ll live.”
“And must I do that to convince you of the absolute violence of my affection for you?” The sneer floated in his voice, and I could practically hear the curl of his lip.
“Don’t strain yourself,” I said and started walking. One step. In front of the other. Another step. I had no idea what I was doing. I just knew I had to end this. Luka was dead. We couldn’t stop my father, all of us, combined. And maybe that’s where the weakness was. I was too afraid to lose any of them to really fight.
My father had taken me by surprise, stealing my magic. But now, there was nothing left to lose. And I wasn’t going to let him take my life. I’d bury him under a mountain of earth before that happened.
I’d always been out magicked, outgunned, ground down by him. He was counting on that to keep me down until he could pick off everyone around me, one by one. I could see that plan of his in my mind like he was shouting it in my ear. The cruelty was in the process; the brutality was the purpose.
He could have just had me killed, wiped me from the planet, and have it done with. So many times, he’d come close to murdering me and always, always, pulled back.
Why?
Because he wanted me to suffer.
Wolfe said nothing as I walked away from him, his gaze heavy on my shoulders as I left him behind.
The boys would forgive me. They always did. And this was the last time I’d betray their trust. And if I did die? Well, I wouldn’t be around to tender my apologies. But they’d be safe. I was going to take my father down, either way. Alive or dead, he wasn’t going to survive my existence or lack thereof.
The woods enveloped me, the towering pines shivering all around me as fog rose from the ground back.
Go back… it seemed to say. But I couldn’t. I needed to find my father and express my final goodbye to him.
He deserved that much before I brought half the planet down over him. I’d see how much he liked being buried under a few dozen feet of dirt and rock. I looked behind me. Wolfe was gone, disappeared in the trees, around the bend somewhere. I closed my eyes and reached down inside of me. That well of power, unsettled and shaky, rose slowly, and I could feel the world going transparent all around me as my heartbeat swelled in volume in my ears.
The ground under my feet answered the call, pushing me up into the air. My breath caught in my throat.
I had this.
And I would bring this avalanche of power right to my father’s door.
I took a shaking breath, opened my eyes, and screamed as something slammed into me from the side, knocking me down, my vision going white.
Eighteen
“I knew you’d do something like this,” Finn’s eyes were accusing, his hand still tight around my wrist, standing over me. My ears rang, my whole body aching. He’d knocked me down, and I glared up at him. I was going whether he tried to get in my way or not. I wasn’t risking him.
“Let go,” I snapped, yanking free as his grip loosened. His expression was reproachful as he stood back. I got to my feet. “I have to do this on my own-”
“Oh, fucking really?” He asked. “You need to fight this battle all on your own, huh? Well, let me remind you, sweetheart, we’ve been fighting this battle for longer than you’ve been alive.” His words were like a slap, and I tried not to stagger back from the weight of them. Inside me, I felt a dull flicker of… something. I shoved it away.
“And look how good a job you’ve done,” the hurt was too much, and it was spilling out of me in an ugly way, the words rising up before I could even stop them, “half your life you’ve spent running from your enemies, so I would think you’d understand, of all people, that I am tired of running and I need to get the job done. For once. Since nobody else seems capable of doing it.”
Finn’s face reflected his emotions so strongly when he was on stage, and right then, in the middle of our fight, it was no different.
He stepped back, looking angrier than I’d ever seen him.
“Then go,” he said, “go run off and get yourself fucking killed, and don’t let me be the one to stand in your way, being dead weight and all for you to carry,” he bit out each word from behind clenched teeth. He may not have meant it that way, but it was the opening I needed.
“Thanks,” I snapped back, “for your permission, which, by the way, I don’t need in the slightest.” I spun on my heel and kept walking. He was still behind me, then I heard his footsteps as he ran to catch up to me. The last thing I needed was him convincing me not to go. I needed to get this done, once and for all, though. Before he could grab me, I turned to him, my fingers reaching up to wrap around the necklace that encircled my throat. I ripped it, the chain snapping, a line of pain erupting around the back of my neck.
Finn skidded to a stop, his eyes widening as I threw the heartstone at him, chain and all. It hit him right in the chest and dropped to the ground.
“You got what you wanted,” my voice sounded deep and dark, from the lowest part of my chest, filling up my whole body. “Now, let me go.”
We stood, silent, the heartstone glimmering in the dirt at his feet, until I growled under my breath and kept walking, leaving him behind. He didn’t move a muscle, and in an instant, I blinked hard, trying to forget the look of betrayal on his face. A small part of my heart told me it was wrong, that I needed him and the pack as much as they needed me, but this felt like the only way I could keep them safe.
I couldn’t risk them dying. And I knew I had it in me to end my father without their help. When I was far enough down the road that I knew he wo
uldn’t be following me, I closed my eyes and called to life that low spark inside of me, the dull magic that thudded in my veins. It shuddered for a moment and then answered my call. The earth rose up under me and pushed, lifting me up five feet in the air and throwing me forward. I threw my hands out on either side as I rode the wave of earth, the shuddering, shaking feeling of it jarring all my bones and making my jaw rattle.
Behind me, an empty howl split the air, swelling to fill the forests, one of mourning. Something tingled on the back of my neck, and I glanced behind me, nearly falling as I did. A streak of fur, larger than life, Finn’s shifted form as a wolf, tracked along the ridge of dirt I left in my wake, his paws flying over the ground.
No!
He couldn’t come with me. I gritted my teeth and looked forward, ducking to miss some branches, nearly toppling over. The earth surged to catch me, steadying my stance. I had to faster. Something in my chest wrenched, and my mouth opened, a soundless scream dying in my throat as the ground flung me forward, speeding up.
Finn’s howl, enraged and hysterical, was swallowed up behind me, as my soul, the power of my will and my heart, urged the earth to shift under me ever faster. I closed my eyes as they watered, the whole planet becoming a blur around me.
When I opened them, my body was transparent seconds later, my hands see-through, speckled with stardust. I looked up, startled to see my childhood home looming before me. I’d crossed how many miles in the heavy pause between heartbeats.
The shock of it caused the planet to shudder, and I fell, catching myself in a roll that scuffed my knee and jerked my shoulder hard. I hit the ground, tumbling over myself, lights sparking in my vision as I finally came to a rest, breathing hard and trying to catch my breath.
“Success,” I muttered, sitting up, sore and fear biting at the back of my mind. What the hell did I think I was doing? The house was more extensive than I remembered even from my last visit, towering over me even at the distance where I sat, safely far enough, I hoped, to be undiscovered.
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