Reckless Surrender

by R. C. Martin

  I don’t understand what he’s talking about, or why he’s whispering, until Logan rolls over to face me. I look down at her, surprised to find her stretched out on the couch with me. I don’t remember falling asleep. The last thing I can recall is her insistence that we start the movie over, so we could watch it from start to finish. I remember starting it—the rest…

  I peer back up at Ashton and shrug.

  “Oh, my gosh,” he murmurs, folding his arms across his chest. “You’re falling for her.”

  My first instinct is to deny it—but I can’t. There’s been too much pretending and Ashton is my only outlet for the truth. Besides Logan, of course. So I don’t say anything. My silence is all the confirmation he needs.

  “Good God.” He laughs under his breath.

  “What?”

  “Nothing. Just—be careful. She’s a viper and you know it.”

  I bring my eyes back down to see her face. Her hair is fanned across her check and I move to tuck it behind her ear. The peaceful expression I uncover reminds me of last night; the conversations we had and the way we made each other laugh. She’s turning out to be so much more than I ever gave her credit for. “No. I don’t think she is.”

  “Whatever you say. It’s your funeral,” he mocks. “It’s also your day to teach yoga. You better get up.”

  I look for the time and see that I need to leave in a half hour. I must have slept through my phone alarm. “Thanks.” He nods and then leaves the room. I know that I need to get up, that I need to get ready, but I don’t want to wake her. Actually, I don’t want to leave her at all.

  There are so many ways I could respond to my new state of insanity; but instead of running away from my longing to be near her, I embrace it as an idea comes to mind. “Logan,” I say gently, pressing a kiss just beside her ear. “Logan, I’ve got to get up.”

  “No,” she grumbles, burying herself further into my chest. The smile that pulls at my lips can’t be helped.

  “Yeah. I’ve got to go.”

  “Where? It’s Saturday,” she whines dreamily.

  “I’ve got yoga. You know…you could always come with me.” She opens her eyes and looks up at me, as if the idea might be as appealing to her as it is to me. “My girlfriend would be supportive of my yoga habit, FYI.”

  A lazy smile graces her face as she giggles sleepily. “So is that what I have to do to get promoted? Attend your yoga class? Why didn’t you just say so?” She sits up and I watch as she stretches her arms above her head. “Oh, man,” she whines, dropping her hands to her lap. “Please tell me there’s at least one coffee drinker in this house,” she pleads.

  “Sorry, M.”

  “What the hell is wrong with you people?” she gripes, turning to glare at me. “This is definitely getting added to your con list.”

  “If you stop complaining long enough to get ready, maybe we’ll have time to make a stop before we get to the studio.”

  “Say no more. I call bathroom first,” she says as she stands. “And tonight, we’re sleeping in the bed. This couch isn’t very comfortable.”

  She saunters her way to the bathroom without another word. My eyes follow her as she goes. Not once do I question her comment about our sleeping arrangements.

  Yup. I’m a dead man.

  “I—can’t—stop—kissing—you,” mumbles Trevor between kisses, his lips never leaving mine.

  “Then—stop—trying,” I insist, tightening my grip around him. He groans his reply, plunging his tongue into my mouth. My stomach goes wild at the sensation. I swear, there has been a never ending fireworks show going on down there since the moment his lips first touched mine hours ago. Even when he’s not kissing me or touching me—which isn’t often—just remembering every new feeling that I’ve experienced because of him makes my whole body react.

  I’ve never had so little sleep but been filled with so much energy! It’s like the anticipation of what might happen next has me wired. As soon as we got back to Trevor’s house last night, we ate dinner. After he helped me clean up the kitchen, we got lost in each other. We lost time, we lost sleep, we lost clothing—seriously, I don’t think I’ve ever been naked for this consecutive amount of time.

  Trevor took great pleasure in showing me what other things we could do besides make love. I won’t lie and say I didn’t enjoy it—very much—but I will admit that the highlight of the night was when I convinced him that I was feeling well enough for him to make love to me a second time. Now, I’m this close to getting him to do it again. He wants to. I know he does.

  “Ugh—Wings!”

  “Just—a little—while—longer—please?”

  He pulls away from me and breathes out a sigh, running his fingers through his hair. “Baby, as much as I’d love to stay in this bed with you for the rest of the day, we’ve got to get up. I’m due at the shop in an hour, which means we have to leave here in half that time, and we’ve yet to shower.”

  Mmm…we could relocate and I wouldn’t mind one bit.

  “No!” he chuckles, having obviously read my mind. “We don’t have time.”

  A mischievous grin spreads across my face as I wrap my legs around his hips. “Just tell Harvey you’re running late.”

  “I’m never late. He’ll think something’s up.”

  I giggle at his choice of words. “Something is up.”

  “Ah, hell,” he moans, rolling out of my grasp. I sit up, ready to put up more of a fight. I stop myself when I see him reach for his phone. He shoots out a quick text and then stands to face me. “Come ‘ere.” I crawl to the edge of the bed and kneel in front of him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. “We have to be quick,” he states, grabbing me by my waist and lifting me from the bed. I wrap my legs around him once more as he carries me to the bathroom.

  We’re not quick.

  My conscience, the small voice in my head that tells me over and over that it’s important that we get out of the shower, is drowned out by all my other senses. After we make love, Trevor washes my hair. He washes my fucking hair! I didn’t know it was possible for me to love him anymore than I already did, but I was wrong. All of last night and this morning have increased my heart’s capacity for the space that’s reserved for the love that belongs to Trevor.

  Forty minutes later, I’m standing in front of the bathroom mirror in my underwear fixing my hair. I braid my bangs back, scrunch my waves with moisturizer, and call it good. I’m about to make quick work of my makeup when Trevor comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist.

  “How the hell did I manage to keep my hands to myself for so long?”

  I smile at his reflection as I lean back against him. “You were just scared,” I answer honestly. “We both were.” I reach up and run my fingers through his damp hair while he watches me in the mirror. “Promise me something?”

  “Anything.”

  I turn in his arms and wrap mine around his neck so that I can look directly into my favorite pair of eyes. “Let’s never let anything come between us ever again. Not our pasts, not our fears, nothing.”

  “Promise,” he murmurs, leaning down to seal his word with a kiss.

  “I love you,” I say as he pulls away.

  “I love you, too.” He holds me for a minute before he gently pushes me out of his grasp. “You are going to get me in so much trouble.”

  “Who, me?” I coo.

  “Yes. You! Can you do all that on the way?” he asks, pointing at the supplies that I’ve got scattered on the counter.

  “Sure.”

  “Great. If we leave now, I’ll only be twenty minutes late. Now, put some clothes on before I throw you back in that bed.”

  “If you’re trying to encourage me into my clothes, you’re using the wrong tactics,” I tease as I head for my bag.

  Remarkably, we’re out the door in five minutes. Since it takes us thirty minutes to get to the shop, I take extra care applying my makeup. Today I do a shadowy eye with shades of purple and black
and a generous amount of mascara, accentuating my thick lashes. When I’m finished, I remember to take my pill. Now, I have the best reason in the world to get my ass in gear and take it regularly. I’ve decided to schedule my intake for after I do my makeup—something I always do.

  When we arrive at Generation Ink, Trevor takes my computer bag and throws it over his shoulder before lacing his fingers with mine. It’s such a small thing, but it’s also a boyfriend thing and it makes me feel like I’m on top of the world. Somehow I know, without a word, that we’re not going to make some grand announcement to our friends. They’ll figure out what’s going on between us eventually; he and I will have fun messing with them until they do.

  “Oh! I forgot to call Logan. Remind me to call her if I forget again, will you?” I ask as we walk through the front door.

  “Sure.”

  “There you are,” cries Grace, sliding off the stool behind the counter onto her feet. “Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah,” says Trevor, giving my hand a squeeze. “Sorry I’m late.”

  “It’s okay,” she replies, knitting her brow in concern. “You’re just never late.”

  “Blame me,” I tell her. “It’s my fault.”

  “It’s fine,” she says, waving it off. “I just got a little worried, is all. I do have to run to the bank really quick before they close, though. Harvey’s back with his first appointment. Do you mind hanging out here until I get back?”

  “Not a problem. We’ll just go put our stuff back in my office and we’ll be right up. Go ahead.”

  “Perfect. See you guys in a bit.”

  “Shit—wait.” He grimaces guiltily. “I don’t mean to be a dick, but would you mind picking up an early lunch while you’re out?”

  “Oh, my gosh, yes!” I gush, bringing my hand to my stomach. Now that he’s mentioned food, I realize how famished I am. We haven’t eaten since last night. “I’m starving.”

  “Um, yeah, sure,” she says, eyeing us suspiciously. “Anything in particular that you want?”

  “I’ll eat anything.”

  “Yeah. Just get whatever you want. Charge it to the G.I. card.”

  “Sure. I’ll stop and grab some burgers or something. I’m sure Harvey will appreciate it.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Thanks, Gracie,” Trevor and I call out as she hurries for the door.

  On our way back to Trevor’s room, we peek our heads in to say hi to Harvey. He grumbles his hello, his focus preventing anything more, and we both snicker as we leave him alone. Obviously, we’re still high on each other and giddy enough to laugh at anything.

  When we’re back up front, Trevor takes the stool and I make myself comfortable between his legs as we both look over today’s schedule of appointments. It’s hard for me to concentrate, his chest pressed against my back, his chin resting on my shoulder. All I want to do is turn around and kiss him, but I have a feeling making out behind the front counter isn’t such a good idea. The moment I test that theory, I’m sure all rational thought will go out the window.

  “So, um, looks like you don’t have anything until later this afternoon. You’re pretty light today.”

  “Good,” he says, kissing the side of my neck. I breathe out a sigh, tilting my head to grant him easy access as I surrender to his affection. “As soon as Grace gets back, I think I know a few ways we might be able to help pass the time.”

  “My god,” I groan, turning to face him. I slide my hands over his shoulders and touch my nose to his. “Are we ever going to be able to get enough of each other?”

  “I sure as hell hope not.” He hugs me, holding me tight, and I marvel at how wonderful he feels. It’s like every hug is warmer, every touch is tantalizing, and every word means so much more than it did before. It’s amazing and I agree with him one-hundred-percent—I hope it never changes.

  We loosen our grip on each other when we hear the door open and I turn back around to see who just walked in. It’s Willow. She’s on her phone. She waves and smiles as she makes her way back to her room. I look down at the calendar and see that she’s got a client coming in at eleven.

  “Oh, Daph, call Logan.”

  “Right! Thank you,” I gasp and reach for my phone. I recline back against him as I wait for her to answer. I’m disappointed when she doesn’t pick up. “Voicemail,” I mutter as I listen to her recorded greeting. Before the beep, I decide there’s no way I can leave her hanging any longer, even though she probably already figured out that I’m fine. In any case, I’ll give her a little something to hold onto until we can talk. “Hey, LG, it’s me. Just wanted to say sorry for the freak out call. I might have overreacted a bit—”

  “What?” Trevor yanks my phone from my grasp and starts speaking before I can stop him. “She completely overreacted! I had to chase her down, Logan. But don’t worry, we’re all good now. Call her back. She promises to answer. Unless we’re busy, like we were last night. And again this morning,” he adds, flashing me a devilish grin.

  My jaw falls open at his brazen message and I twist all the way around to snatch back my mobile as he laughs, locking me in his arms. “Anyway—call me when you get this. Love you, bye!” After I disconnect from the call, I smack his shoulder admonishingly. “Trevor!”

  “Come on, she’ll love that and you know it.” I roll my eyes in response, knowing he’s so right. She’ll probably save that message for months. “Speaking of being busy, I think we should stay busy tomorrow.” He leans toward me to nibble on my ear and the fireworks in my belly explode again. “I think we should skip family dinner and stay naked—All. Day. Long,” he whispers.

  “Okay,” I barely manage, my body buzzing with excitement. I know that he’s never missed a Sunday with his Generation Ink family. I would never ask him to, either. Right now, though, I just don’t have it in me to argue with him. Not when what he wants is to spend the day with me, making up for lost time. That might make me selfish, but when his breath tickles the inside of my ear like it is now, and his tongue swirls around my earring, I don’t give a rat’s ass about how selfish I’m being. I won’t apologize for it, either.

  “You—you have to stop,” I whimper, my knees growing weak. I rest a hand on each of his thighs to help keep me up as he begins to move from my ear to my cheek. He makes it all the way to the corner of my mouth before he stops and spins me around abruptly. I’m confused only until I hear Harvey’s voice as he comes down the hall, rattling off care instructions to his client. I drop my chin to my chest, needing to hide my flushed face as I take a few deep breaths. Trevor chuckles, discreetly sneaking his fingers underneath the hem of my t-shirt so that he can graze the tips back and forth across my phoenix.

  He’s proving to be quite the tease. He forgets—payback is a bitch.

  Just as Harvey finishes his transaction, Willow comes out to say a proper hello. We don’t get to chat with her for long, since her client shows up a few minutes later. Pete and Coder arrive at the same time. The guys discuss what business they have going on for the day while Trevor continues to tickle the small of my back, making me shiver every other minute.

  When Grace returns, I don’t know if I’m more excited for the food or the chance to be alone with Trevor again.

  Since Gracie is the best, she brought enough food for everyone. I wonder, impatiently, if that means we’ll be sharing our meal with them. Trevor is quick to put me at ease, standing to grab our bags with one hand while he laces his fingers between mine with his other. “Thanks, Grace,” he tells her. The rest of us chime in with our own thank yous and then Trevor starts escorting me down the hallway.

  “Whoa! Hold the phone. No one has anything to say?” cries Coder. Trevor and I stop and look back over our inside shoulders. All eyes are on G.I.’s baby, waiting for an explanation for his outburst. “Wait, seriously?” he asks, his voice cracking in shock. “Am I the only one who’s noticed?” Trevor and I share a smirk before looking back at the group. Coder laughs and then folds his arms across
his chest arrogantly.

  “What the hell are you talking about?” Pete asks, smacking his brother upside the head.

  Coder isn’t fazed. “So, raise your hand if you got laid last night,” he commands, looking straight at us.

  Harvey lifts his hand without question while Pete scowls in annoyed confusion. Grace lifts her hand tentatively. I know it’s bewilderment and not embarrassment that causes her hesitation, seeing as how we all know she and Harvey are trying for a baby. That and, well, Harvey already admitted to the truth.

  I look beside me at Trevor when I hear our bags of food rustle against each other as he lifts his occupied hand. I fight a grin and lose as I lift my hand, too.

  “What?! Are you shitting me?” exclaims Pete.

  Coder smacks his brother upside the head as he proclaims, “I knew it!”

  “Wait, wait, wait!” Grace insists as she stares at us with interest. “Keep your hand up if you got laid this morning.” When Trevor and I keep our hands lifted, she balls up her fists underneath her chin and grins the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on anyone’s face. I laugh as we lower our hands, a little afraid that she might actually burst from too much excitement.

  “You bastard,” Harvey roars with a laugh. “It’s about damn time!”

  “How did you know?” Pete asks Coder.

  “They’re holding hands,” he says, as if it’s obvious. “They never hold hands.”

  “Hey, is something going on out here that I should know about?” asks Willow, sticking her head into the hallway. “You’re making an awful ruckus.”

  “Yeah. Sorry, Granola,” says Pete. “You owe me a hundred bucks.”

  She gasps, shifting her focus in our direction, and then throws her arms up in the air. “Yay! I mean, yay that you’re finally together, not that you just lost me a hundred bucks.”

  “You guys were betting on us?” Trevor and I ask in unison.

  Everyone laughs before Grace speaks. “Every six months we’d wager on new predictions.”

  “I said Christmas,” says Willow, leaning against her doorframe.

  “I said New Years,” Coder admits.