by J. M. Nevins
She looked at him. “Is this tour viable? Meaning, can you pull it off or is Sully out of his mind?”
Sean shrugged his shoulders. “We’ve got the momentum. We have a few shows that we cancelled that we get to make up at the end. It should be three and a half months, maybe four. Hopefully smooth, but I can’t guarantee it. The band is imploding, Kit. I think you know this already.” She nodded as he continued. “I’m not going to bring you into it. I’ll do as much damage control as I can. Giselle is a good day-to-day lead for Sully.”
He chuckled. “Sully’s not as polished as you as the manager, but he’s pretty good. He’s got good strategies and the guy knows how to sell it, so the tour should be pretty solid with him leading. Bryan is a strong MD, he knows how to stand up to Sull, so we should be good. Bryan is a good buffer. Sully values his opinion and listens to him.”
Kit grinned. “I guess Sully respects him because Bryan is classically trained and they’ve know each other since they were kids. Bry’s been a great musical director for this band from the start. How’s he holding up?”
Sean shook his head. “Like I said, it’s a rocky road. You know it’s getting tense when even Bryan isn’t his happy go lucky self. The only thing keeping him upbeat these days is Giselle. He wants off the road. They all do. They’re not the only ones.”
She leaned forward and patted his shoulder. “I know. Heads up for you, I’m submitting my official letter of resignation as band manager later today. It’s time. Although things with Sully and I are on the outs, I am concerned about him. Keep me posted on how things are going, ok? Let’s talk in the next week.”
She gently rubbed his shoulder. “Hang in there. This machine doesn’t operate well without you, Sean-Bon and the band is gonna need you more than ever to pull this off.”
He smiled. “Thanks for that, Kit-Kat. We won’t let you down. Rest up. Can I get you anything before I head out?”
She nodded. “Can you help me back up to my room?”
He chuckled. “I’ll do better than that.” He offered his hand to help her up. He then scooped her up. “Upsy-daisy. Let’s go!”
She chuckled as she held onto him, grateful he was taking the time to carry her upstairs. He walked into her bedroom and carefully deposited her onto the bed.
She took his hand in hers and squeezed it, winking at him. “You’re a good egg, Sean-Bon.”
He smiled wide and winked back at her. “Right back at ya, Kit-Kat. Now, get rest! I’ll be in touch.”
She grabbed his hand. “Wait. I gotta ask you something.” She patted the bed, inviting him to have a seat on the edge.
He sat down and looked at her. “What is it?”
She sighed. “Sully came clean about the groupie he took up to his room—the one he was physical with backstage. When you saw them, how physical was it?”
He shook his head. “That was several months ago, but from what I remember, they were kissing. They left shortly after that and I don’t know what happened. With Kendalle, he took her up to party in his room and from what I understand she didn’t leave that night. And she’s been around for days at a time. Sometimes a week at a time.”
Kit froze and felt her stomach drop. She swallowed hard, paralyzed with fear. She met Sean’s eyes. “Kendalle? Who the hell is Kendalle?”
Sean gulped and suddenly looked terror stricken. He had gone under the assumption that Kit was in the know—that Kendalle had been part of what he had confessed to her moments earlier. Now he felt like the bad guy for letting the cat out of the bag.
He shrugged his shoulders. “Honestly, I’m not exactly sure. She showed up at the Minneapolis show several months ago with a promoter from New York—she was backstage. She’s been around since then.”
Kit stared straight ahead and shook her head as her eyes welled up with tears. She couldn’t face Sean as she spoke. “Are you telling me Sully has a girlfriend out on the road?”
Sean pursed his lips. He had been put in between a rock and hard place. He sighed and met her eyes. He shrugged his shoulders. “I dunno if that’s her label. Honestly, I don’t know what he refers to her as.”
Kit closed her eyes for a moment to keep her tears at bay, feeling a mixture of betrayal and anger that Sully had just played her. Her emerald green eyes fluttered open and she met Sean’s eyes. “But she does stay in his room with him when she’s around.”
Sean nodded. “I’ve seen that. Yes.”
She huffed, unable to disguise the anger inside her that was bubbling to the top. “Sounds like a girlfriend to me. He just totally lied to me and told me he hasn’t had sex with anyone since we got back together. Unbelievable.” She shook her head as tears welled up in her eyes, deeply feeling the betrayal now.
Sean felt horrible and he leaned forward to reach for her hand. “I’m sorry, Kit. I thought you knew. You said he came clean and I…”
She chuckled through her tears. “Yeah, well he left that detail out. Tell me, is she at least pretty? If she’s some skanky eighteen-year-old groupie that will be even more devastating.”
Sean sighed and met her eyes. He hesitated for a moment before responding. “In my opinion, she’s stunning. Not like a groupie at all. Probably around the same age as Sull. Kind and respectful to everyone. Seems to get on well with Bryan. I see them chatting and laughing together quite often when she’s not with Sull. Keeps to her business. Doesn’t make demands. A little bit on the shy and reserved side.”
Kit let out a long defeated breath. “Ok. Well, I guess she’s doing the job that I wasn’t able to do—be there for him on the road.” She met Sean’s eyes. “Thank you for your honesty.”
He smirked. “Once again, Kit, I’m very sorry.”
She shook her head. “Not your fault.”
He stood up. “Anything else I can do for you before I head out?”
She grinned. “No. Have a good tour. Call me if anything blows up.”
He nodded. “Will do, Kit-Kat. Get some rest.”
She nodded and watched him wave to her as he left the room, closing the door behind him. Despite being emotionally charged, her fatigue was taking over. Her sight started to become blurry and she drifted off to sleep within minutes.
Kirby stood before her grinning from ear-to-ear standing next to Sully who looked completely disgruntled. Kirby chuckled and stared at her. “So, Kit. Who’s it gonna be?”
Kit gasped for air as her eyes popped open. She sat up in bed, out of breath. She held her hand to her heart, feeling it race. She closed her eyes again and shook her head slowly. She was thankful it was a dream, but knew more than ever, she needed to get things straight in her head.
No matter what Kit did, the ghost of Kirby would not leave her mind. The wounds were wide open again and she was desperate to find resolution and healing. It was time to take action and she knew exactly what to do.
Her eyes darted around the room, searching her immediate surroundings, feeling immense frustration knowing the scheduling book that contained her contacts was downstairs in her office—the last room in the house she ever wanted to go into again. She would find another way.
She got up, threw on her slippers and slowly padded downstairs. Steering clear of the office altogether, she headed into the entertainment room, where she was pleased to find Alexa.
“Hey!”
Alexa glanced over, surprised. “I thought you were still napping. How are you feeling?”
She shook her head. “I was out cold for a few hours. Feels strange to be napping so much, but I assume my body needs it to make a full recovery—at least that’s what Dr. Perry told me. I’m improving, still a little shaky. It’s more a mental thing than a physical thing now. My mind keeps going… Oh Lex, there’s so much. It’s so quiet in here. I’m assuming Sully, the band and the team are gone?”
Alexa nodded. “Yep. They left about an hour ago. Sully went in and told you goodbye and gave you a kiss. He told me you looked really peaceful and he didn’t want to wake you. He also told me
to look out for you.”
She met her eyes. “And I will be doing that because I know how you are. Anyway, they’re wheels up out of Van Nuys. They’re in the air right now on their way to Miami.” Alexa surveyed her. “Is all the stuff plaguing your mind right now related to our conversation about Kirby a while back?”
Kit nodded slowly. “Yes and Sully and I had a big argument. Not to mention Sean providing me with some disturbing information. Trying to get my footing still.”
She gently rubbed her chest, as if protecting herself from an increasing sense of vulnerability, feeling a tenderness she assumed was not only from her surgery but related to the memory of her heated and heartbreaking conversation with Sully—one she wished she could forget. Not so. The conversation with Sean afterward did nothing but send massive shockwaves and solidify her initial motivation to separate.
She sighed. “It was a game changer.”
Alexa nodded, intuitively figuring it out. “The groupie?”
Kit met her eyes, feeling emotionally numb and still stunned from the information she received from Sean as she nodded her head slowly in confirmation. “Yes. More than one night. He’s having an affair. She stayed on tour with him for a few weeks or maybe a few months—who knows. It’s been going on a while. And I heard about it from someone else. He couldn’t even tell me. I can’t believe he lied right to my face and told me he hadn’t had sex with anyone. And he was convincing. That’s the thing—I can always spot when he’s lying and I couldn’t this time. That really disturbs me. There’s more.”
Alexa eyes widened and then narrowed as she shook her head in disgust. “Wait, what? There’s more? Holy fucking crap! That bastard. What? Tell me.”
She hung her head for a moment. It was all too much to take in and she was struggling with it. She looked up. “He’s got a full blown cocaine problem. I have no idea what he’s been up to lately because he’s been so high. He’s totally spun out. The last time I went out there to see him on the road, I could tell that he would dip in here and there, but it seemed under control.”
She sighed. “Even on tour breaks, he was managing, but now it’s different. He’s gone past the point of no return. He can’t go without it, Lex. He was acting like a fucking junkie.”
Her voice was barely audible as she continued. “I’m worried that he’s gonna branch into something stronger. No doubt, he’s reaching his threshold. He’s probably blowing through a thousand dollars a day or maybe even more at this point.”
Her eyes welled up with tears. “He will die if he continues this way of life after the tour.”
Alexa let out a long, defeated sigh and buried her face in her hands for a moment. She finally looked up and met Kit’s eyes. “Shit. It’s like he’s cheating on you twice. I feel like I’m seeing a repeat of a bad episode of Sully TV. It’s like 1987 antics all over again. The problem being he’s six years older now.”
She nodded slowly. “Yes. And I can’t do it anymore, Lex. I feel like I’m losing it. My head is so scrambled from the shooting and then the whole Kirby thing, which I still can’t figure out, and now Sull. My marriage is over. My career as their manager is over. Both dead as a doornail.”
She folded her arms across her chest. “Maybe if I would have been there for Sully like I had been on other tours, like I had been early on in our marriage, it would be different. I wouldn’t be sitting here in this position with him on tour high as a kite and fucking someone else while I pine for the ghost of an ex-fiancé. I’m at fault here too. I kept dismissing Sull, Lex.”
She couldn’t mask the regret and disappointment that encompassed her. “Truth is communication broke down a while ago and I was in denial. I made excuses for me, I made excuses for him. He’s been on tour for almost two years and he still has almost four more months to go. It’s changed both of us. It’s been beyond challenging.”
She sighed. “We said we’d never let the fame and our careers get in the way, but we have. We’re going in different directions. And as far as my career goes, I’m fucking sick of telling those jokers what to do. It’s been like years of babysitting bratty kids and I’m over it.” She shook her head and looked away, staring out the window.
Alexa put her hand atop Kit’s in an attempt to assure her and be supportive. “Kitty, you can’t blame yourself for Sull’s addiction or his infidelity. He’s a grown man and he made those choices on his own. You didn’t hold a gun to his head. Same with the band. You’ve gone above and beyond for them and if they can’t appreciate that and fly right, then who needs ‘em. The last thing you need is that kind of stress. The question is, what are your next steps?”
She let out a long sigh. “I dunno. Lex, I dunno an L.A. life without Sully in it.”
She glanced down at her wedding and engagement rings, gently rubbing them with her thumb as she sat in contemplation for a moment. She then continued. “I met him within days of us landing here.”
She shook her head, incensed. “Jesus, that sounded fucking co-dependent. Damn.” She folded her arms in front of her chest again as if guarding her power center and took a moment to contemplate her past.
She then raised her pointer finger. “Actually, I take that back.” She met Alexa’s eyes. “I do know what to do, I’m just not ready to fully embrace it. Feeling some major anxiety about it right now.”
She winced. “And I still can’t stop thinking about our discussion and Kirby. I want closure and I think I’ve found a way to get it. Can you help me out?”
Alexa bobbed her head. “Of course. What do you need?”
She grinned sheepishly. “Grab my organizer. It should be on top of my desk. I think that’s where I last left it. If not, check the drawers.”
Alexa nodded. “Ok. I know Ariana was making dinner, so I’ll grab it for us too, hun. Relax. I’ll find it.”
Kit sat back and melted into the soft, tan suede sectional sofa in the entertainment room. She decided to rest her eyes for a moment and as she started to doze off, she was bombarded with another memory of Kirby. Her eyes popped open again and she let out a long breath.
She shook her head and wondered if allowing thoughts of him in was one of her biggest mistakes to date. She was starting to feel hypocritical indulging in memories, attempting to engage in emotional intimacy with a ghost. Her mind had been so preoccupied with Kirby lately. Instead of drugs, alcohol or sex like Sully, thoughts of Kirby had been her escape.
Alexa strolled in and grinned holding her scheduler in hand. “Found it.”
Kit grinned and gently took it from her. “Thank you.”
Alexa sat on the sofa next to her and rubbed her knee. What are you going to do?”
She nodded. “I’m gonna call Ralph, the private investigator that helped me take Dante down for the KMK mess years ago. He’s a pro. He can find anyone. I need confirmation that Kirby is still alive and then I need to find out why he left me in the first place.”
She sighed and shook her head in disbelief. “I don’t understand it. We were so in love.”
Alexa let out a long sigh. “Oh Kitty, I don’t want to see you deal with this all over again. No, not right now. Especially not after what’s going on with Sully.”
Overcome with deep concern, her violet eyes pleaded with Kit. “What if you don’t get the answer you want? What if Kirby moved on and he’s happily married now? What then, huh? Yes, things may not be good with Sully right now but that doesn’t mean to run to another guy, even if he has been in your thoughts. I think it’s best for you to just do you right now and let sleeping dogs lie.”
She shook her head in protest. “I just need to know, Lex.”
Alexa reluctantly nodded and patted her knee. “I get it. I kinda want to hear what your guy Ralph has to say.”
Kit sighed and flipped through the address portion of her book until she found the number she sought. She picked up her phone and dialed. He answered on the third ring and she greeted him, refreshing his memory on who she was.
After exchangin
g a few pleasantries, she rattled off all the pertinent information on Kirby from their first meeting in 1979 to his suspicious death in 1983.
She gave Ralph the background on his family, the incarceration details of his father, former U.S. senator Ted Nelson, and a snapshot of the assets they once had together that became inaccessible to her upon his death.
Kit continued with Ralph and wrapped up the call, thanking him and promptly hanging up the receiver. She looked up at Alexa and smirked. “It’s done. He’s searching.”
Alexa raised her eyebrows. “Should be interesting.” She grinned. “I have some happy news for you.”
She raised her eyebrows. “I could use some happy news right about now. What’cha got?”
Alexa smiled. “Wes has been wanting to invest in a West Coast home base and since we have so many fond memories of L.A., we decided to buy something here. We found a great place in Bel Air Crest. It won’t be the primary home base for us, that’s still New York, but it will be where we’ll stay when we’re out for visits from now on.”
Kit squealed excitedly and clapped her hands. “I love it! That’s exciting news.”
Alexa nodded. “It is. And you will probably be seeing more of Wes than me in coming months. He’s opening an L.A. office and a San Fran office.”
She reached out and squeezed Alexa’s hand. “This is happy news!”
Alexa swallowed hard. “Kitty, I hate to broach the subject and if you don’t want to talk about it, I’ll totally understand. How are you holding up? I heard about what happened. I got it out of Giselle. It sounded really bad. It’s important that you get professional support too.” She met her eyes.
Kit nodded sadly. “I agree. Lila got that squared away for me too. Sessions start tomorrow. I really want to work out, but Dr. Perry said I have to wait four to six weeks. He did say I could take walks, so I’ve been walking around the backyard, but it’s not the same. I don’t want to be here anymore. I decided I’m going to lease out the house. And besides, it’s time for a change anyway.”