Monday (Timeless #1)

by E. L. Todd

  He rolled his eyes but only did it half way like he forgot what he was doing in the middle of it. “I don’t care. I won’t tell if you don’t.”

  I needed to get out of here. Jason wouldn’t quit, and Marie was already playing tonsil hockey with Mike. I couldn’t reason with a drunken man, but I could remove myself from the situation. “Good night, Jason.”

  “Whoa…hold on.” He gripped me around the waist and pulled me back. “Where do you think you’re going?”

  I pushed his arm down. “You need to stop—”

  He grabbed my face and kissed me.

  The second I felt our lips touch, I cringed then shoved him off. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

  Jason parted his lips to speak but nothing came out. He was knocked over by a bull and thrown to the ground.

  The crowd parted and gasped.

  Hawke’s arms were shaking because he was deranged. He was hardly recognizable with his red face. A vein throbbed in his forehead. No one broke the ten feet radius around him because they knew it would be the last thing they would ever do.

  Jason slowly pushed himself up. “What the…?”

  Hawke grabbed him by the neck. “Don’t.” He slammed his fist into his face. “Touch.” He did it again, making him bleed. “My.” He slugged him in the mouth, making Jason’s lips redden with blood. “Girl.” Hawke slammed his fist into Jason’s eye, immediately making it turn blue.

  “Shit.” Marie stepped back and gripped Mike.

  I couldn’t believe this was happening.

  Jason lay back on the ground, his eyes blinking like he was barely holding on to his consciousness.

  “Hawke.” I shouted his name so he would step back and come to his senses.

  He ignored me.

  Hawke grabbed Jason by the collar and forced him upright. Then he pulled back his fist.

  “Hawke, don’t!” I ran toward him.

  Axel grabbed me. “Whoa…stay back. I’ve never seen him this mad before.”

  Hawke released a series of punches, making Jason’s face bloody.

  “STOP!” Jason only acted that way because he was drunk. He wasn’t a bad person and didn’t deserve this.

  Hawke dropped him then prepared to kick him.

  I stomped on my brother’s foot so he would release me. Then I bolted to Hawke from behind and grabbed his arm. “Hawke, stop.”

  He violently jerked his arm back and sent me flying hard to the ground. I rolled into the fall and landed a few feet away. Everyone stopped and gasped. It fell absolutely silent. Even the music turned off.

  My blood pounded in my ears when I realized what happened. I didn’t have a cut or a bruise, but I was in shock by the way he catapulted me through the air. The power in his body was something I never truly comprehended until then. Every time he pinned me to a wall, he was only using a fraction of his strength.

  Hawke turned around, and when he spotted me on the floor, all the anger drained from his body. Heartbreak and devastation replaced it, and his eyes immediately watered when he realized what he’d done. Jason lay forgotten on the ground, coughing up blood.

  I didn’t get up, and no one helped me. They all stared at Hawke, unsure what he might do.

  Hawke slowly backed away, his body no longer straight and upright. It sagged under the weight of his grief. Regret was etched into every part of his body. His eyes were hollow like he lost everything that meant anything to him. He looked down at his hands like he wasn’t sure if they were even his. Then he parted through the crowd and left. The last sound I heard was the opening and closing of the door.

  And then silence.

  ***

  “Are you okay?” Marie asked again when we were home. She sat next to me at the kitchen table and examined my face like I might burst into tears at any moment.

  “He didn’t hurt me.”

  She released a sigh and rested her chin on her palm. “You didn’t answer my question.”

  “Yes, I’m okay.” Just a little shaken up.

  “I bet he feels terrible.”

  “I’m sure he feels worse than terrible…” He probably destroyed his entire apartment by now.

  “It was an accident,” she said. “It was obvious he didn’t know it was you.”

  “He won’t see it that way.”

  “Man…he was so mad.” She shook her head. “I’m surprised he didn’t kill Jason.”

  “Me too,” I said honestly. “He probably would have if I didn’t intervene.”

  “Everything is such a blur. I’m not even sure what I saw.”

  I remembered every little detail.

  The front door opened, and I immediately looked because I knew it would be Hawke coming to apologize.

  But it was Axel.

  “Are you okay?” He immediately sat in the chair beside me and examined me.

  “I’m fine,” I said calmly. “He didn’t hurt me.”

  He looked at my arms and my face anyway. “I can’t find him. I went to his apartment but he wasn’t there. Every time I call, he doesn’t answer.”

  “Leave him alone. He already feels like shit. There’s nothing you can do to make him feel worse. He wouldn’t even put up a fight. He would get on his knees and let you execute him.”

  Axel released a sigh. “I wasn’t going to kill him. It was clear it was an accident. But now that I can’t find him, I’m worried about him.”

  “Give him space,” I said quietly. “He’ll talk when he’s ready to talk.”

  “I have to say, I don’t blame Hawke for what he did to Jason. That guy is scum.” Axel shook his head.

  “Is he alright?” I asked.

  “Mike took him to the hospital,” Marie said. “He’s fine.”

  I was sick of talking about this. I rose from the chair. “I’m going to bed. Don’t bother me.”

  They didn’t object.

  “Good night,” I said as I kept walking.

  “Tomorrow will be a new day,” Marie said.

  No, I had a feeling this nightmare would never end.

  ***

  A week came and went and I didn’t hear anything from Hawke. He didn’t stop by or text me in the middle of the night. Like a ghost, he vanished from my life. I finally called him when I had enough of the silence.

  But he didn’t answer.

  He obviously wasn’t ready to talk so I gave him more space. When he was down like this, it was best to let him come to me. He never discussed something unless he wanted to. Even though it was hard to be patient because I was worried about him, I managed to keep my distance.

  Another five days went by, and I didn’t hear anything. When I asked Axel about it, he said Hawke refused to speak to him at work. But he looked sick, like he was purposely starving himself and depriving himself of sleep.

  I called again, but like last time, there was no answer.

  Now I was getting really worried. He’d never been this distant with me over anything. His temper was difficult to control and he was more passionate than any man I’d ever known, but it led to his downfall. Sometimes, he couldn’t control what he did and said. It made him beautiful, but also dangerous.

  ***

  I was sleeping when my phone lit up on the nightstand. I immediately snatched it and sat up, knowing exactly who would text me at this time of night. It was two in the morning, Hawke’s prime time.

  I’m outside.

  I immediately pulled on my clothes then dashed out of the house. Hawke stood on the lawn wearing a black hoodie. The hood covered most of his face. The nighttime was still cold even though spring had arrived. Vapor escaped his lips.

  He didn’t look at me. Instead, he stared down the street like he expected a car to approach. He hardly blinked, like he was in a trance or somewhere far away.

  I slowly approached him, wanting to feel his embrace since I’d gone nearly two weeks without it. When I got close enough, he stepped back.

  He finally looked at me, and his gaze was completely empty. Th
ere was nothing inside of him. He was a dead man walking. “You made me a promise. You better keep it.”

  The cold was beginning to swallow me whole. I couldn’t feel my toes or my fingers. “It was an accident.”

  “Keep. Your. Promise.”

  “I always keep my promises.”

  “Then do it.” He pulled a knife out of his pocket.

  “Whoa…” I stepped back and felt frightened for the first time in my life. “Put that away.”

  “I’m not going to hurt you,” he said calmly.

  “Drop it on the ground. Now!” I pointed at the grass.

  He tossed it aside.

  I immediately snatched it then stuffed it into the large garbage can by the curb. I came back to him, feeling better now that a death weapon wasn’t in our midst.

  “How do you want to do this?” he asked. “You can hit me with a car if you want.”

  He was totally out of his mind. “Hawke, you didn’t hurt me. So, there’s no promise to fulfill.”

  His eyes darkened. “I. Pushed. You.”

  “On. Accident.”

  “No, the push was purposeful.”

  “But you didn’t know you were pushing me.”

  His hands balled into fists. “It doesn’t matter. I lost my temper and I didn’t think…and you got hurt.”

  “It’ll take a lot more than a push to hurt me, Hawke. I fell on the ground—that's all. I don’t have a bruise anywhere on my body. I don’t even have a scratch.”

  “Even so—”

  “You’re being too hard on yourself. No one else thought it was malicious. It was clear to everyone there it was an accident.”

  He breathed hard like his anger was coming back.

  “You try to find the bad inside yourself so you see things that aren’t really there. It was just an accident. Now let it go.”

  He bowed his head. “Until it happens again.”

  “It won’t happen again.”

  “Why are you making excuses for me?” he asked savagely. “I’m not good enough for you. When will you see that?”

  “We are the same person, Hawke. When will you see that?” I came closer to him, showing him I wasn’t afraid.

  He didn’t step back.

  “You’ve read my journal. I’m not the same person now that I was then. I used to be just like you. I was dark, cold, and unforgiving. I went to a very disturbing place, and I never thought I could get out of it. But I did. And you can too.”

  “It’s different.”

  “No, it’s not.”

  “Yes, it is.”

  “Hawke!” I stomped my foot down. “Let it go.”

  He looked into the distance. “When I saw him grab you…something snapped inside me. I didn’t even know what I was thinking. All sounds ended. All I could focus on was his face and my fist. I went on an unstoppable rampage. I’ve never been so angry.”

  “You had every right to be mad. But you didn’t have the right to hurt him like that.”

  Rage moved across his face.

  “Jason was drunk and he wasn’t thinking. He never would have done something like that at any other time.”

  “And that excuses his behavior?” He snapped. “What if I kissed some girl because I was drunk? Would you excuse that behavior?”

  “Not the same thing…”

  “He grabbed you, harassed you, and kissed you—unacceptable.”

  “And he deserved to be punched in the face—but only once.”

  “What happened to him?” he asked.

  “He went to the hospital and got cleaned up. Then he went home. He didn’t need any stitches.”

  Hawke looked disappointed. “Why were you with him at all?”

  “He walked in with Mike a minute before you got there. I had no idea he was going to be there. I was just about to go home. I swear it.”

  “You don’t have to swear to me. I believe you.”

  Gratitude moved through my heart. “And why were you there?”

  “Axel wanted to hook up with Marie.”

  That made perfect sense.

  Hawke put his hands in his pockets and looked down. “I guess this is over.” He stared at the grass below his feet before he returned his look to me.

  “Why would it be over?”

  “Because of everything we already said. I can’t be with you, Francesca.”

  Anger surged through my veins. “I’m sick of hearing this. You’re a great man. One day, you’ll believe me. But I guess today is not that day.”

  He watched me with sad eyes.

  I stepped closer to him and once I was near, he stepped back. I grabbed him by the front of his sweater and anchored him in place as I got in his face. “We are forever.”

  He stared at the hand gripping his sweater.

  “Say it.”

  His eyes slowly moved back to my face.

  “Tell me.”

  A subtle shadow of hair covered his chin where he hadn’t shaved in days. His hair was messy even under the hood. Heartbeats passed and nothing was said. His eyes were unreadable unlike how they usually were.

  I leaned toward him and gave him a slow and soft kiss. The second we touched, our hearts synced to the same rhythm. They beat together, pounding in tune. We both beat to our own drum in comparison to everyone else, but our beat happened to be identical. I pulled away slightly and looked into his eyes.

  One hand cupped my face, and his thumb grazed over my cheek. He stared into my eyes as the life started to move back inside him. Like a flower that just got water after a dry week, he came back to life. “We are forever.”

  Night Has Come

  Hawke

  On the god-awful night I pushed Francesca, I thought I was pushing Axel. It was an honest mistake. There was a lot going on, and I was in my own world. But when I saw her lying on the floor where she’d fallen, I fell apart.

  My heart broke in two.

  Was that how it started with my father? Did an innocent push open the gates to all the other havoc he wreaked? Did it start with something small until it grew bigger and out of control?

  Was I on the same path?

  Francesca was the only reason I believed otherwise. She believed in me, said I was a good person, and knew I never meant to push her. She forgave me when I didn’t deserve her, but that absolution brought new air into my lungs. She made me believe again.

  She made me believe in us.

  Perhaps some larger being had brought her to me so I would stay off the wrong course. Maybe she was my one chance at keeping my virtue. She was the one thing that made me happy, and I couldn’t give her up.

  Especially when she didn’t want me to.

  Our relationship was still a little rocky. I was unnaturally quiet and distant. When I was around her, I kissed her and touched her. But my heart just wasn’t the same. I was scared I would fuck up again.

  Francesca knew what I was thinking, like always, because she took it slow and didn’t push me in any direction. That woman understood me better than my own mother did. She accepted me without question.

  Her love was unconditional.

  ***

  We stayed at her place and lay in her small queen size bed. The mattress wasn’t uncomfortable because she usually slept right on top of me. She was weightless. Her long hair stretched across my skin and felt soft. I loved the smell of her hair. It reminded me of winter flowers.

  She adjusted herself until she faced me, her hands resting on my chest. Without saying a word, she stared at me. Her eyes examined every feature of my face, like she was making a sketch in her mind.

  I stared back.

  Her fingers trailed my lips like she was feeling the texture. Then she felt the scruff along my jaw, the small hairs coming in even though I just shaved the day before. “Reminds me of sand paper…”

  “Thank you.”

  She released a chuckle that sounded like a whisper. “I meant it in a good way.”

  “Sandpaper…it’s very flattering.”


  She smiled with her eyes.

  “What are you doing?”

  “We take pictures to remember things and people. But they never do the moment justice. I’m trying to remember every detail of this moment so I can always look back on it in my mind.”

  “Why would you need to look back on it?”

  “Whenever you’re away or busy…I won’t be lonely.”

  “I’d never leave you lonely.” My hand moved to the small of her back.

  “I know you wouldn’t. But even when you’re right beside me, I still miss you.”

  I knew the feeling.

  She moved up slightly then pressed her lips to the skin over my heart. She did that once in a while, telling me she loved me without actually saying it. When she did it during lovemaking, I knew she was in the same place I was. “I need to go to sleep but I’d rather stare at you.”

  “You can always stare at me tomorrow.” I turned off the lamp and her room fell into darkness.

  “That’s true.” She settled on my chest and got comfortable.

  I ran my fingers through her hair like I did every night. She usually fell asleep within a minute when I did it.

  A moment later, her breathing changed and became deep and regular.

  And I knew she was gone.

  ***

  My phone vibrated on the nightstand.

  My mind was in tune to the noise. Anytime I heard it, I jolted awake. It was a sound I constantly expected and also feared. I snatched it without moving Francesca and looked at the screen. It was a number I didn’t recognize.

  Who would be calling me at this hour?

  I gently moved out of the bed so I wouldn’t wake her then left the house and stood in the front yard. Then I took the call. “Hawke speaking.”

  “This is Patty from Doctor’s Medical Center. I’m a nurse in the ICU. I’m looking for Theodore Taylor.”

  My heart stopped beating. “This is he. Hawke is my middle name.”

  “Hawke, your mother is here. She’s in critical condition. You’re listed as next of kin so I thought you should know.”

  Time stopped.

  This was real.

  The day had finally come.

  It went from bad to worse.

  Now what?

  “Sir?” Her voice rang into the phone.

  “Sorry?”

  “She had an accident and fell down some stairs. She broke her shoulder and her arm, and when she fell, she injured her abdomen. There was some internal bleeding but they rushed her to surgery before anything dire could happen. She’s going to be alright.”